Post by Boss Joe on Jan 26, 2021 21:14:34 GMT -5
The show doesn’t open with what one would expect, but instead we see the parking lot of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum. After a few moments, a black Mercedes Benz S-Class pulls in, the fans beginning to buzz as the car is thrown into park. A nicely dressed man in a suit approached the vehicle with a microphone.
Lenny Brasco: Ladies and gentlemen we are standing outside of the personal vehicle of none other than-
Suddenly, the driver’s door opens and out steps an older, hefty yet well tailored man that we've come to know as Barnabus Cartwright. He straightens his tie and smiles kindly at the interviewer.
Barnabus: Salutations, sir.
Lenny Brasco: Mr. Cartwright, it's a pleasure! We've had a ton of great talent sign with Level Up, one of the more anticipated yet controversial being the man I assume is in the back of this car, one Sid-
Barnabus: My apologies for interrupting sir. The gentleman you're referring to has requested to be left be until his match tonight. In his words, 'Being on camera and not being paid is like a doctor performing heart surgery off the clock; you never give them the best for free'.
Lenny Brasco: I mean, I guess I understand. We just have a few questions for -
Barnabus: And you'll have all the time in the world to ask them; AFTER he's made his debut.
Lenny Brasco: Barnabus is there anything at all you can tell us?
Barnabus smiles once more and turns toward the camera.
Barnabus: All you need to know is simply this. Sidroy Covington the Fourth... has arrived.
Brasco simply shrugs as the camera fades out, right into the updated intro…
“Who Made Who” by AC/DC continues to blare over the speakers as we open to a live, limited and socially distanced crowd who are cheering as loud as they can to make up for the lack of people inside the Indiana Farmers Coliseum. Pyro blasts on the sides of the stage before the video wall shows…
RUN>LVLUP_VOICE.EXE
BOOTING…
Then the face of the Level Up announcing program, Mr. RAD, loads up on the screen, his voice loud and booming as he wears a pair of shades and a big cheesy grin.
Mr. Rad: Alright dudes and dudettes...do people still say that? I’ll have to check Urban Dictionary. Welcome to the first episode of LEVEL UP WRESTLING’S EXP! I’m your on fleek host, Mr. Rad, and who’s ready to see someone get yeeted out the ring?
The audience cheers, even if they aren’t exactly sure who they’re cheering for.
Mr. Rad: Well don’t you worry, because that’s exactly what you’re getting in the SMASH match! It’s up first, as two rookies team up to take on TWO, count them, TWO WaLuigis! The rules are simple. There are no ropes and the only way to win is to knock both members of the other team out of the ring! Just like a real game of Smash Bros!
Mr. Rad flashes a cheesy grin as footage of the game in question plays in a video behind him.
Mr. Rad: If you ask me, I think our pair of evil Luigis are gonna take this, as this is their match! Let’s get to that ring and see what these smooth brains are gonna do!
We cut over to the announcer on this very wild and very nineties looking setup. As Mr. Rad suddenly vanishes from inside the ring. Sitting at ringside is a young gentleman wearing a letterman’s jacket with a “N” on it with glasses, and next to him is a young lady wearing a very revealing outfit similar to that of Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury/King of Fighters fame.
Arthur La Forge: Hello everyone I am your play by play announcer for Level Up Wrestling Arthur La Forge! We want to thank you all for tuning in to the first of, hopefully, many episodes of our bi-weekly television program EXP! And with me to my right is my fellow wrestling analyst...she is the cosplay and instagram sensation Mary DeSue!!
Mary DeSue: Thank you very much Artie!
Arthur La Forge: Please don’t call me that.
Mary DeSue: You’re lucky a sexy lady like me is even talking to you Artie, and that’s only because my contract had a stipulation to where I had to! If you get out of line with me Artie I guarantee you will not like the consequences. After all I am the beautiful bombshell of the internet and you shouldn’t forget it.
Arthur La Forge: Not that I would ever do anything to you Miss DeSue, but what exactly are you threatening me with.
Mary reaches down next to her and pulls out a yaoi paddle, don’t google it kids, the size of a cricket bat! She leans over towards Arthur and as we can tell from this revealing cosplay that Arthur is getting a bit of an eyeful as he kinda blushes.
Mary DeSue: I’ll beat your ass with this so badly people will think it’s a preview video for an only fans…
Arthur La Forge: (gulps) Well...Um...Anyway we got our first match of the evening planned and it’s a special match to show you, the fans, here and at home, exactly what kind of action you can plan on seeing here on EXP!
Mary DeSue: Hey...Artie...where’s the ring?
We see lights start flashing around the arena as the floor opens up and swallows the regular standard size wrestling ring. After a few moments four towers rise up. Each tower shoots out laser lights connecting to each other.
Arthur La Forge: Welcome to a Smash Match!
Mary DeSue: I did not agree that we would Smash and Chill.
Arthur La Forge: Well No...I mean...Gimme a second here. The arena is longer and wider than a standard wrestling ring right now because the object of a Smash match is not to pin your opponent. It’s to knock them out of the specialized flatter ring.
We see the actual flooring in between all four of the towers is padded like a regular wrestling ring; it just doesn’t have the ropes. Suddenly the lights go out and we see, floating in the air, Mr. Rad.
Mr. Rad: Introducing first, at a combined weight of Three Hundred and Nine Pounds. The team of Bert McAlroy and Nicky Skylar!
Bert and Nicky arrive after a brief blurb or each of their entrance songs play and step into the arena. Both are getting the crowd up on their feet with their energy.
Arthur La Forge: These two young wrestlers are both ready and eager to get this match underway!
Mary DeSue: I mean, they’re kinda cute. Are they gonna get powerups or anything like that?
Arthur La Forge: Not in this particular match. It’s mainly the object is to get both of your opponents out of the ring.
Mary DeSue: Like Dragon Ball Z?
Arthur La Forge: Exactly!
Mary DeSue: …Lameeeeeee.
Mr. Rad: And their opponents...at a combined weight of...what do you mean triple question mark...hmmm…Humans are so weird. The Waluigis!!
A man dressed as Waluigi walks out along with another. Both wearing unblinking, unmoving Waluigi helmets and matching costumes. They both scream “WAH!” at Bert and Nicky who both shrug as the four men enter the center of the ring as Jack Kirby, the referee, goes over the rules.
Arthur La Forge: And there are the Waluigis...
Mary DeSue: That’s disturbing…
One of the Waluigis looks over towards the commentary table and makes a heart symbol with his hands. Mary holds up her Yaoi Paddle.
Mary DeSue: Creeper alert!
Arthur La Forge: Calm down there Nolan Ryan.
Mary DeSue: ...What kind of nerd knows about baseball!
Arthur La Forge: Wouldn’t you have to know about baseball to know who I was talking about to know it was about baseball.
Mary DeSue: We never speak of this again…
The bell rings and The Waluigis start off by going for clotheslines. Bert and Nicky duck. The Waluigis turn and one gets taken out by a knife edge chop by Nicky while Bert takes out the other with an elbow strike to the sternum. Nicky and Bert pick up each Waluigi and drop them with double Body Slams!
Mary DeSue: Yeah! Whip their butts!
Arthur La Forge: I take it you aren’t a fan of our purple wearing weirdo clan?
Mary DeSue: I’ve seen those looks at cons my whole career...There are evil intentions behind those eyes.
Nicky picks up his Waluigi (Waluigi 2) and hits a snap suplex on him! Bert grabs his Waluigi (Waluigi 3) and throws him towards the closest edge of the ring. Waluigi 3 bounces on his face and rolls closer to the edge as Bert yells at Nicky to get his guy out of the ring. Nicky nods and grabs Waluigi 2 by his arm and...TRIANGLE CHOKE!
Mary DeSue: No you idiot! You gotta get him out of the ring not choking him out without his safe word.
Arthur La Forge: First off now I wonder what the safeword is and second of all it’s not a bad strategy.
Mary DeSue: What cha talking ‘bout Artie?
Arthur La Forge: Stop it. If your opponent is unconscious then you just pick him up and toss him out of the ring.
Mary DeSue: Oh...FORGET THE SAFEWORD!!!
Nicky keeps the triangle choke going onto Waluigi 2, as Bert runs over and does a falling double ax handle to the back of Waluigi 3! Bert quickly capitalizes on his attack by grabbing Waluigi 3 and doing a little walk and brawl towards the edge of the ring! Waluigi 2 is flailing about trying to break out of the choke, but finally relents and passes out. Nicky let’s go and starts dragging Waluigi 2 towards the edge of the ring as Waluigi 3 ducks a punch from Bert and hits an eye poke on him! Waluigi 3 then charges ,arms flailing, heading towards Nicky. Nicky, seeing this coming, chucks Waluigi 2 into the arms of Waluigi 3 and both Waluigis take a tumble towards the edge of the ring. Nicky and Bert exchange words as Waluigi 3 gets up and slaps the hell out of Waluigi 2 to wake him up!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to wake up your partner.
Mary DeSue: What’s another?
Arthur La Forge: Erm...well...
Mary DeSue: Artie you’re blushing...it’s almost cute in a pathetic way.
Arthur La Forge: Shut up!
The two Waluigis start to charge back towards Bert and Nicky. Nicky runs in front of Bert and holds his hands out. Bert rushes forward and leaps. Nicky giving him a boost Bert leaps up over Nicky and hits both Waluigis with a double “Give her The Bert” flying superman like punches! Both Waluigis head dangerously close to the edge of the laser light sensors.
Arthur La Forge: What a unique way to do a high flying move without turnbuckle posts!
Mary DeSue: Good! The creeps are getting their butts kicked.
Nicky, wasting no time, rushes towards the Waluigis and hits Waluigi 2 with a superkick to the face sending Waluigi 2 thru the laser sensors and the lights flash!
Mr. Rad: Waluigi 2 has been eliminated from Smash!
Bert, not wanting to be outdone, waits for Waluigi 3 to get up and rushes forward hitting Waluigi 3 with his own superkick, Gert Bert’d! Waluigi 3 flies out hitting Waluigi 2 as he hits the sensor lights!
Mr. Rad: Waluigi 3 has been eliminated! The winner of this bout is the team of Bert McAlroy and Nick Skylar!! Achievements Unlocked!!
Bert holds up his arms for cheers while Nicky basks in the win for a moment and then heads to the back not wanting to deal with the fanfare. The special Smash ring starts to go back down as the regular ring comes back up.
Arthur La Forge: And our first Smash match is in the books. Achievements unlocked for our participants too!
Mary DeSue: Wait...do we ever get to see Mr. Rad? Like outside of the computer screens?
Arthur La Forge: He’s a computer A.I….so no.
Mary DeSue: Weird.
We open up to a view of what looks like some sort of an arcade or a museum of arcades. Long lines of machines populate the walls and the floor. And on the corner, standing infront of an old classic Pac-man machine is the big Finn, “Old School Cool” Don Tirri. He is absolutely killing the game, until finally he messes up and dies. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Tirri turns around and notices the camera.
Don Tirri: Yo. Sorry bout that. I keep forgetting just how addictive these classics are. I mean, there is a reason they are considered classics. Anyway, what a night coming up. EXP 1. The first show of Level Up Wrestling. Now, I was gonna go on a long diatribe how an old fuck like me ain’t probably gonna exactly be what you’d expect to see in a promotion themed around video games and whatnot… and then I realized I’m not even the oldest fuck in the roster, not even close. So I had to scratch that line of thought and find another.
Tirri gives out a grin and leans against the machine, almost toppling the 40-year old machine over. He manages to catch it and himself, staring at it and blinking. He then turns to the camera and tries to pull off a “I meant to do that”-face before he continues.
Don Tirri: AAAANYHOW. EXP 1. It’s gonna be a helluva night tonight. In the main event we got Lex Collins goin against the aforementioned older than me fuck Jack Michaels. We got Waluigis and Nobility and whatnot. And then you got me, goin against Wendy House. And even though I don’t like tooting my own horn, I’d put my money on THAT being the match of the night.
He flashes a wide grin and gives a small flex.
Don Tirri: See, the thing is. I might be on the older side as far as wrestling goes, but what I lose in speed, agility and quickness, I make up for with experience, no pun intended. Ain’t much in this biz I haven’t either done or at least seen before. Been here, been there, been everywhere. Name a town in the good old US of A and there is a high chance I’ve wrestled there. So yeah. As far as EXP goes… I got plenty. I ain’t yet hit the max level, but boy howdy have I been to the level cap more than once. So tonight ain’t gonna be no new experience, it’ll be a damn fine showcase of new vs old.
Tirri points towards the machine next to Pac Man, an Injustice - Gods among men machine.
Don Tirri: See, just like with gaming, there is a new hotness coming out every month, yet people keep going back to the classics, or at the least hold warm and fuzzy memories of playing the old classics. That’s kinda what I am. I am an old classic that people fondly think about. And I am the kinda classic people go back to watching time and time again and always get amazed just how well I can still go.
He cracks his knuckles.
Don Tirri: So Wendy, you’re telling me that I shouldn’t be against the house. Well darlin, I’m tellin you that you can never bet against a classic. So see you in the ring.
He turns back to the Pac-man machine and starts a new game, hollering one more line over his shoulder.
Don Tirri: WAKA WAKA BITCH, GAME ON!
We're back in the ring now as Wendy House and Don Tirri are set to compete, with Wendy wearing a special outfit for the occasion.
Mary DeSue: Does Wendy realize she's showing a lot of cleavage right now?
Arthur La Forge: I'm sure she does. She's dressed as Sniper Wolf.
Mary DeSue: Who? Sniper? Why a sniper?
Arthur La Forge: It's a character from Metal Gear Solid. Although I'm not sure if that's age appropriate for her or not.
Mary DeSue: Yeah but she's in her thirties!
Arthur La Forge: But her mind is...nevermind.
As the two begin to size each other up, circling around the ring, Wendy House begins skipping instead of walking. Tirri seems to be taken a little off guard by it but stops it immediately by forcing the lockup. The happy-go-lucky House surprises him by ducking underneath his right arm and twisting it into a hammerlock. The veteran grabs her wrist and spins out of it, holding an arm wringer, so Wendy cartwheels out of that to grab her hammerlock again, sticking her tongue out at Tirri for good measure.
Mary DeSue: I feel like I'm gonna end up on a watch list watching this.
Arthur La Forge: She's definitely unique.
Mary DeSue: No I meant the old guy. Shouldn't he be in a rest home?
Tirri spins around again and applies a headlock, but Wendy staggers back into the ropes and pushes him off. He takes off running to the other side and Wendy waits for him, but he stops short and knocks her completely off her feet with a shoulderblock. He runs to the perpendicular side of the ropes and comes back, but House flips onto her stomach, forcing him to step over. As he bounces off and comes to the other side, she hits him with an arm drag. She tries for a cover, but he's easily out at one.
Arthur La Forge: I'm not sure why Wendy would go for the cover there.
Mary DeSue: She seems kind of stupid to me.
Arthur La Forge: Either that or she's just trying to get him to expend more energy.
Mary DeSue: I like my thing better.
Wendy picks Tirri up, but as she does, Mr. 'Old School Cool' doesn't seem happy that he's been shown up so far and hits her in the abdomen with a right hand. When she doubles over, he brings his arm down hard with a clubbing block across the back. She arches her back in pain and staggers backward and he boots her in the stomach to knock her against the ropes. The crowd begins to boo as even though she's in the ropes, he's still hammering away with punches. With her hanging on the top rope for support, Tirri takes a few steps back and charges, only to catch a knee to the gut. She then grabs his head and swings forward with a neckbreaker! She makes a cover:
One!
Two! Only two.
Mary DeSue: Okay maybe not that stupid. She's tough. But she still talks funny.
Arthur La Forge: I'm sure she would love it if you went and told her that.
Mary DeSue: I can't afford to lose Instagram subscribers thanks to a black eye, thank you.
The two get up and Tirri tries for a right hand, but she responds with a knee lift that doubles him over. That's when Tirri loses his cool and just shoves her outright, sending her falling off the top and spilling to the floor! The crowd in attendance begins to boo him profusely.
Arthur La Forge: Of all the rotten things...
Mary DeSue: Maybe she hit her head and will realize she's pushing 40!
Arthur La Forge: That was just reckless! She could have injured herself coming down that hard!
Mary DeSue: I'm starting to like this guy, he has no tolerance for idiots.
The referee admonishes Tirri, who slides outside, grabs Wendy and throws her back in. He hits a few stomps as she gets to her feet, clutching her forearm. This gives no resistance when Tirri grabs her and hits a sidewalk slam, followed by a cover.
One!
Two!
Wendy House throws her shoulder up. Still angry, Tirri grabs the arm of Wendy and simply begins to punch at it, with House almost in tears as he teats her appendage like his own personal punching bag. He gets up and begins to shout at the audience, who return with more boos.
Arthur La Forge: Don Tirri is making a lot of friends here tonight.
Mary DeSue: I'll be his friend! This guy really is cool!
Arthur La Forge: Hurting someone because they...you know what? Nevermind.
Mary DeSue: That's what I thought!
Tirri picks House up and just because he can, lifts her up for a suplex and stalls, holding a hand out to flip off the crowd as he does so. He finally drops back and slams her against the mat. He tries for another cover and that only gets two as well. Tirri looks at the referee and warns him to count faster. This allows Wendy a moment to get up to her knees, chopping at the bigger Tirri with her good arm. He ignores that and simply reaches forward to apply a bearhug. But Wendy waits for his head to drop and drives the point of her elbow into the back of his neck, before grabbing his head and spinning out with the twist of fate!
Arthur La Forge: DIS IS ME'S HOUSE!
Mary DeSue: Ew, don't you start talking like her too!
Arthur La Forge: No, that's what she calls the move.
Wendy is unable to make the cover as she's still clutching her arm, so Tirri is able to get to his knees. She runs in for the House Special but he avoids it, then gets up and bounces off the ropes. He tries for 'The Boot', but she actually puts her bad arm in the way to block it! She screams out in pain and Tirri, briefly confused after not connecting with her head, turns back around and grabs her from behind. She does the most childish thing she can by stomping on his boot! He pulls his leg back and loosens his grip, which allows her to grab his head and run up the ropes, flipping back with the Child's Play!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Way to go little missy! The winner of the match is WENDY HOUSE!
Arthur La Forge: I don't know if stomping on the foot of someone is the cleanest method to win a match, but it's technically not illegal.
Mary DeSue: I'm sure Tirri will have a few words to say about it though. Cool words, I bet. I should get him on my TikTok.
Arthur La Forge: He did everything right but it still seems he underestimated her. I guess someone in their forties can't anticipate the thoughts of an eight-year-old.
Mary DeSue: SHE'S THIRTY-SIX! SHE COULD BE MY AUNT!
Arthur La Forge: As Wendy celebrates, we have to go backstage, as another one of Level Up’s talents is arriving at the building!
Mary DeSue: So many people showing up late. Don’t they have any drive?
Backstage, in the parking lot of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum, a black Ford pickup pulls up and out steps "The Relentless One" Adam Miller. Wearing his grey F.E.A.R hoodie and black pants. He walks confidently into the arena. He walks past young upstart Nicky Skylar, who just won his own match earlier in the night.
Nicky Skylar: What does F.E.A.R. stand for?
Miller looks at Skylar.
Adam Miller: I'm sorry, was that aimed at me?
Nicky Skylar: Who the hell else is here? If you want a better hoodie at a great price cause you’re stuck at the indies...I do have merch.
Miller chuckles at the response.
Adam Miller: Kid, I ain't the guy who is in the opener for this company. I'm already above you. And fear. It stands for Face Everything and Rise. Which I do every day. So here's something for you. Now that you’re done with your little scuffle, I invite you to come to the ring and watch me. I'll teach you how this game works.
Nick Skylar: Well I did pay 250 dollars to roll around in somebody’s garage. So when the opportunity is there I guess I’ll take it “to learn”.
Miller looks disgusted and walks away down the corridor.
Arthur La Forge: Well it’s nice to see everyone getting along.
Mary DeSue: That Miller guy was rude! All Nicky did was ask him a question!
Arthur La Forge: I dunno, he seemed really condescending about it.
Mary DeSue: Please, I think Miller is just looking for a fight.
Arthur La Forge: He’ll get one later, but for now we have another match to get to!
Ace Sky is already in the ring and Sidroy Covington the Fourth has just joined him. The referee makes a move to ring the bell, but Sidroy stops him. He points down at his servitor Barnabus Cartwright, who has grabbed a microphone.
Barnabus Cartwright: Please rise and remain silent as we welcome true, unbridled greatness in the form of man. Hailing from Knightsbridge, London England and now residing in Aberdeen Scotland, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the pinnacle of Professional Wrestling, the undisputed king of the United Kingdom, the Golden God of the Granite City, the Absolute of Aberdeen, the youth of today and the face of tomorrow... and quite simply yet literally the greatest man to ever walk this earth... I am both honored and humbled to present to you, fourth of his name but first of his kind; "Ever Fortunate" Sidroy Covington the Fourth!
The crowd boos at the pompous entrance, while Sidroy simply smiles in the and lets the referee know he can call for the bell now.
Arthur La Forge: Sheesh, this guy is definitely full of himself.
Mary DeSue: I want a personal announcer! Why don’t I have one?
Arthur La Forge: A computer program was literally designed specifically to introduce everyone here!
Mary DeSue: Yeah, but that thing gives me the creeps!
The two lock up in the ring but Sidroy immediately gets the advantage with an arm wringer, before slamming his arm down on the shoulder of Ace to knock him down. He hits another and then twists at the wrist, perhaps taking a note from the match that happened earlier. Ace gets to his feet but Sidroy clubs down on the shoulder again, wrenching at the arm even more. In an impressive show of agility, Ace rolls forward, then kips up and reverses into a headlock, switching that into a front chancery that drags Sidroy to the mat. He then rolls around the ring with it, disorienting him. Ace Sky lets go and gets to his feet. He mocks Sidroy and gives him the peace sign, and Covington runs forward only to be arm dragged. He gets up and gets another one. Ace then runs at Sidroy and hops up, wrapping his legs around the head of his opponent and flipping him over with a hurricanrana!
Arthur La Forge: It seems Ace does a little bit of everything. He showed technical prowess and then used speed and agility to get the advantage.
Mary DeSue: That’s not fair! Mr. Covington can’t even form a gameplan!
Arthur La Forge: Mister?
Mary DeSue: Someone that fancy, you need to show respect. And he’s so fancy. But you already know!
Covington staggers into the nearest turnbuckle, dazed. Ace comes in to press the advantage before the referee tells him to back off as Sidroy is in the ropes. He starts to, while arguing with the referee, before Covington goes low with a dropkick to the knee! Ace holds his knee and shakes it, hoping to avoid an injury this early in the match. Sidory moves over and kicks him in the leg as he tries to get up before grabbing it and throwing it down, knee-first, at the mat.
Arthur La Forge: Sidroy is a technical wizard and now he’s found a body part of Ace Sky’s to focus on.
Mary DeSue: Hop around now!
Arthur La Forge: You’re so kind and caring.
Mary DeSue: Hey, they get paid to take this abuse, I get paid to be snarky. Deal with it.
Covington grabs at the leg and attempts to apply a hold but Ace is quickly up and tries for an enziguri. He misses, however, and Covington drives the leg back to the mat, knee-first. He moves Ace to the corner and ties his leg up in the ropes, pulling it at an awkward angle. The referee starts counting and he lets go at about four and a half. As he’s being admonished, Sky comes out of the corner and hits a variety of chops and punches to fight his way back. Covington responds with a European uppercut that knocks him back into the corner. He spins around and tries for a figure four, but Ace puts his good leg on the man’s backside and kicks him face first into the middle turnbuckle!
Arthur La Forge: Ouch! That’s not what the British kid was expecting.
Mary DeSue: I hope it didn’t mess up that winning smile of his!
As Sidroy regains his bearings, Ace runs at him for something only to get dropkicked in the knee again. Sidroy grabs at the leg, hoping to apply a hold, but Ace returns fire with a headbutt that dazes him, then flips him down with the Rotation Rover! Instead of going for the cover, the grabs the arm and leg of Sidroy and drags him to the nearest turnbuckle on the right, before climbing up top, perhaps slower than he wants to.
Arthur La Forge: Ace Sky hasn’t had a lot of chances to fly in this match, but he’s going for it now!
Mary DeSue: Good. Impress me.
Arthur La Forge: I’m sure that’s the only reason he’s doing it.
Ace gets up top and after securing his balance on one leg, he leaps off for the Shooting Star Press he calls the Galaxy Leap….but Sidroy Covington rolls out of the way! Ace adjusts and lands on his feet, but that includes the injured leg and he crumples down to his knees in pain after the stunt. Ace pulls himself to his feet and turns around only to be caught by the COVINGTON CAVE-IN! He crashes down hard on top of Ace Sky and hooks the legs behind him!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
Mr. Rad: That British guy wins! I mean...Sidroy Covington IV wins! And hopefully his snobby friend doesn’t INTERRUPT ME anymore!
Arthur La Forge: Seems our AI program isn’t happy with Barnabus.
Mary DeSue: Who cares? It’s a computer. It doesn’t think.
Arthur La Forge: We hope. Anyway, Sidroy Covington clearly had a gameplan going into this and it paid off. He cut off the high flying ability of Ace Sky and hurt the leg enough to take out a large chunk of his moveset!
Mary DeSue: That’s because the British are better than us at most things. Have you even seen Downton Abbey?
Arthur La Forge: I’m more of a Doctor Who guy.
Mary DeSue: Ugh, that is SO mainstream.
Covington rolls out of the ring and practically drags his servant to the back with him, while Ace pounds the mat and clutches at his knee, upset that the high risk maneuver backfired.
The feed cuts to the backstage area where Magdalena Lockheart is shown standing next to interviewer Lenny Brasco. Lockheart is doing some light stretching as she prepares for her match tonight.
Lenny Brasco: Hello everyone! Lenny Brasco here, donning his brand new Level Up gear with Magdalena Lockheart just moments before she's set to take on "Count Coma" Antonio Ricci. Magdalena, Ricci had some strong words for you earlier in the week. Can I ask you as he did, are you truly prepared for Count Coma, or did he just let you think that you are?
Brasco moves the microphone over for her response.
Magdalena Lockheart: I guess we're going to find out in a few moments, won't we, Larry?
Lenny Brasco: It's Lenny. Lenny-
Magdalena Lockheart: Bruce?
Lenny Brasco: Brasco.
Magdalena Lockheart: Ohh. Right. My bad.
Lenny Brasco: It's okay, Magdalena, all is forgiven. But what is absolutely unforgivable is if you don't act now and order yourself a whole case of Level Up "Level One" t-shirts! ...if they aren't sold out already. I mean, damn, these things are selling like hotcakes! And of course, they are! They're collector's items; only a limited number will ever be printed, so everyone should act-
Magdalena Lockheart: Pardon me for interrupting, but what was the question again, Larry?
Lenny Brasco: Now! Lenny! Right! The question was... what was the question?
Magdalena Lockheart: If I'm ready for Count Coma or if he's gotten in my head.
Lenny Brasco: That's it!
Maggie sighs as she facepalms in the direction of the interviewer.
Magdalena Lockheart: Look, Lanny.
Lenny Brasco: Lenny-
Magdalena Lockheart: If I were Antonio Ricci, I wouldn't worry about getting in my head. The mind games won't work. Trust me. I come from a family where mind games are as common as... having pancakes for breakfast. I don't mean to come off as cocky, but I've been down this road before. More experienced men have tried.
Lockheart shrugs her shoulders.
Magdalena Lockheart: To answer Ricci's question with a question, do I look like I give a damn what he, ahem, "allows" me to think? I'm not getting paid to come here and think. I'm getting paid to kick ass. So really, the more appropriate question is: am I ready to go out there tonight and kick Count Coma's ass? To that, I can't quite put it in words. I feel like I am, but a part of me really likes this guy, and I'm sure he's just so full of surprises, I guess I really don't know who I'm up against. He looks like he could be a big time player here, though, so we'll see.
Lenny Brasco: I guess it depends on what shade the Coma Chameleon shows up as in the ring, huh?
Magdalena Lockheart: I don't really care who or what color or shade he presents himself as tonight. I just hope the Level Up team has the ice baths ready afterward cause if I get my way, I know exactly what colors he'll end up showing when the match is done. I'm sure that goes both ways, though.
Lenny Brasco: Those are some strong words for Antonio Ricci. This is shaping up to be one hell of a match.
Magdalena Lockheart: It really is, though. Isn't it? I'm excited. Are you excited, Lar?
Lenny Brasco: Lenny.
Magdalena Lockheart: Right, see, it is going to be a good match. Cause it's really not about who he chooses to be, or who I choose to-
Maggie pauses mid-sentence with her lips parted. She clutches the sides of her head.
Lenny Brasco: You okay there, Megan?
As quickly as it came, Maggie seems to also snap out of it. But she appears a bit unsettled.
Magdalena Lockheart: I-I-I'm fine.
She shakes her head vigorously.
Magdalena Lockheart: Sorry. I uhh, I need to go and... prepare for my match. Excuse me.
Maggie pushes past Lenny to exit stage right.
Lenny Brasco: I don't know what that was all about. Geesh. This is Larry, shit, Lenny Brasco reminding the fans to shop all of our new merch, and make sure to use promo code "punchout" at checkout for an extra 7 percent off all orders over 48 dollars. Sending it back to you guys at ringside!
Miller and Logan are in the ring ready to square off when the referee checks on them to see if they are carrying or have anything illegal on them. Both are clean and the bell is sounded. Logan takes his time getting into it as Miller starts circling him really focused. He runs at Logan, knocking him down to the mat. Adam Miller picks up Logan and holds him against the turnbuckle and starts chopping at his chest. Suddenly, "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness plays and out walks Nicky Skylar. Miller looks up at the ramp confused.
Arthur La Forge: What is he doing here?
Mary DeSue: Didn't you just watch Miller invite him earlier? He's here to watch!
Arthur La Forge: Well as long as that's all he's doing...
Mary DeSue: You're so paranoid.
Arthur La Forge: I've been teabagged in Halo for too long to trust just anybody.
Mary DeSue: ....don't ever talk about that again.
Miller goes for a big elbow but isn't paying attention, so Logan ducks and clumsily tackles him to the ground. He starts clubbing away and drops a quick elbow. Even Logan seems surprised that anything is working. He bounces off the ropes and trips, somehow landing on top of him with a standing splash, which also counts as a cover. The referee counts:
One!
Two! No. Miller kicks out, then rolls out of the way to pick himself up on the ropes. As Logan moves forward to grab him, he trips again over his own feet and falls against him, his knee colliding with Adam's ribs and knocking him down again.
Arthur La Forge: Somehow, The Good Loser has lucked his way into having the advantage here!
Mary DeSue: He literally fell into all of his offense! It's like in...um...
Arthur La Forge: You're trying to think of a video game reference aren't you?
Mary DeSue: Shut up! I'll come up with one!
Logan picks up Miller and tries to ram his head into the turnbuckle, but Miller reverses it and Logan's head collides with the top turnbuckle instead. He then runs off the ropes and comes back, laying Logan out with a forearm smash, which knocks him out of the ring. Logan gets to his feet but stumbles and falls over the barricade, but luckily there are no members of the crowd for him to fall on. Miller takes advantage and grabs him with a snap dragon suplex on the floor! Logan looks completely out of it as Miller tosses him back inside.
Arthur La Forge: Well that seems to be it for whatever luck Brendan had.
Mary DeSue: Did you see the way his head smacked on the floor? He'll be lucky to walk!
Arthur La Forge: With a name like The Good Loser, I doubt he's lucky in general. Things have definitely turned on him here.
Miller gets to his feet and notices as Nicky Skylar has started to walk closer to the ring, not taking his eyes off of him. Skylar yells something that the cameras can't quite pick up, but it's enough to irritate Miller and distract him. Behind him, Logan is throwing a fit in the ring and as Miller turns around, he takes a somewhat weak headbutt to the abdomen, doubling him over. As he stumbles around, Logan gets him with the schoolboy roll-up he calls Sheer Luck!
One!
Two!
Th---NO! Miller kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Nicky Skylar has twice distracted Adam Miller and given Brendan Loganthe advantage.
Mary DeSue: Or maybe Miller's just not that good? I mean, he hasn't beaten him yet, has he?
Arthur La Forge: That's not the point. The point is that Skylar has no business sticking his nose in this.
Logan picks him up and leans him against a turnbuckle, throwing some weak chops, but not before Adam Miller tries to fight back adding chops of his own. This goes on for quite some time until Logan pushes Miller away to catch a breather. He turns his back on Miller, who shrugs and grabs Logan's head, twisting him around with the Crossroads! He scoops Logan back up, and staring right at Skylar as he does so, lifts him up and brings him back down with the Fall From Grace! He makes the cover!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Looks like The Good Loser lives up to his name, guys...the winner is ADAM MILLER!
Arthur La Forge: I can't say this surprises me, given what I know of Logan, but Miller is going to be mad that even came close to losing here.
Mary DeSue: It's his own fault! Imagine losing in Fall Guys because someone kept running around and you focused on them instead of what you were doing.
Arthur La Forge: Wow Mary, I'm impressed...hey wait, is that Google loaded up on your phone?
Mary DeSue: NO!
Adam Miller gets to his feet and shouts at Nicky Skylar, boasting about his win. Skylar simply waves him off and heads backstage, not really caring that his distraction didn't work.
We find ourselves suddenly staring at a scene far from Indianapolis. Nevertheless, it is a scene – more accurately, a site – many people could recognize. That site would be a slice of New York City skyline, recognizable by the Empire State Building. However, the shot then begins to pull back, further and further, and we fade to...
A shot of the same skyline, but well off in the distance, the spire of the ESB only visible by the flashing light to signal air traffic. Coincidentally, the shot pans to find us in front of an entryway to one of the most recent, freshest installments of airport infrastructure: a newly-renovated terminal of LaGuardia Airport. As the camera continues panning further, we conveniently find a limousine pull up to the curb near the terminal entrance. A door swings open, and out pops the driver, scampering around in fluid, practiced fashion to the rear door near the curbside. He opens the door, and after a beat steps a man dressed in a mid-thigh length, grey winter coat, the hood of which has a soft, fuzzy-warm material on the trim and inside. The coat is closed, but we see a pair of royal blue slacks extending just far enough to rest a touch on chocolate-brown loafers; and a pair of black, ribbed gloves are covering his hands. Between those, the cream-colored beanie on his head, and matching scarf, he will have none of the bitter wind cutting through to chill him on this crisp winter day. For all this fashion and sensibility, we cannot well-identify this man – for the shades plus a royal blue, cloth mask obscure his features. The mask reads: “Stay Humble.”
The man pulls out a coffee-colored wallet, slips a couple bills to the driver, whispers a few words, pounds forearms, and the driver is off to the trunk, likely to hand-off bags to whomever. The man now turns his attention to the entrance.
Man: At least the stench hasn’t settled in here, yet.
A dutiful luggage attendant has spotted his own opportunity, seeing the driver bring a couple bags to the curbside area. He looks towards the man.
Luggage Attendant: Sir, may I?
Man: No need. I’m on a charter.
Luggage Attendant: “Oh, I see, then. Enjoy your trip.
And he is off again, back on the hustle. The man enters the airport.
Man: Well, it’s been minute, but opportunity knocks. Let’s find out what’s on the table.
With that, he strides forth into the airport. We pan to a digital board, showing Departures. We see a flight marked “IND - Indianapolis International Airport (PVT)” with no Gate, nor specific departure time.
Arthur La Forge: I hope Ms. Lockheart is okay. She seemed like her head was bothering her earlier.
Mary DeSue: She is not prettier than me!
Arthur La Forge: No one said she was?
Mary Desue: Um, this guy in my Insta comments did! And he’s wrong! I am WAY prettier!
Arthur La Forge: I’m glad you have your priorities straight.
Magdalena Lockheart and Antonio Ricci are in the ring, and it’s Maggie that strikes first with a quick kick to the outer thigh of Ricci. She begins to alternate kicks to each thigh, knowing she has to chop the much larger Ricci down. She also unleashes chops and jumps up with a forearm, but Ricci absorbs it. Lockheart goes for a spinning backfist, but Ricci catches it and lunges forward with a lariat, which Maggie ducks. She jumps up and hits a dropkick to the back of Ricci, knocking him forward. He turns around and she tries for a leaping forearm, but he catches the wrist and grabs her around the throat. He lifts her up for the chokeslam, but she slips out behind. She runs off the ropes and dives at him with a crossbody block as he turns around, but he catches her.
Arthur La Forge: This was going to be a problem as soon as this match was announced. Antonio Ricci has a significant size advantage over Lockheart.
Mary DeSue: Well, she agreed to it!
Arthur La Forge: She probably has a game plan that we have yet to see.
Ricci transitions that into a bearhug, and transitions that into a modified jawbreaker, rattling the head of his opponent. She falls to a seated position and holds the sides of her head again, while trying to scoot away and create distance. She pulls herself up into the corner, but is immediately greeted by a running hip attack from Ricci, who hits another, then spins around and clotheslines her against the turnbuckle. He spins around again with a roaring elbow to the side of Maggie’s jaw, dropping her in the corner. He then lifts her up in a bodyslam position before walking to the center of the ring spiking her with a scoop piledriver! He covers!
One!
Two!
No! Maggie throws her shoulder up.
Arthur La Forge: Perhaps we should have a talk with our doctors and see what made them think she was cleared. She has yet to get out of the starting gate here.
Mary DeSue: Oh, so you know more than doctors now?
Arthur La Forge: No, but I know when someone is hurting and she clearly is!
Mary DeSue: I’m hurting too having to sit next to you. Where’s my sympathy?
Ricci tosses Maggie back into the corner and runs in for a third hip attack, but this time Maggie stumbles out of the way and leaps up to hit a gamagiri kick, dazing him. She runs to the opposite side of the ring and then charges in, but Ricci surprises with his agility as he hops up to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a jumping knee strike that puts her back down. He tries for another cover…
... but that only gets two. Ricci climbs the top rope, but whatever he’s planning is ruined when Lockheart rolls to the outside of the ring.
Arthur La Forge: That’s a smart move there, Maggie’s taking a breather and avoiding whatever dangerous move ‘Count Coma’ had in mind.
Mary DeSue: I bet it was to put her in a coma for real.
Arthur La Forge: Don’t give him any ideas.
Lockheart barely has time to recover, however, as Ricci runs and DIVES OVER THE TOP TURNBUCKLE with a suicide dive that knocks her down! He then immediately scoops her up and attempts to hip toss her into the ring, but she manages to land on her feet, before grabbing the head and diving off the apron to give Ricci the Gift of Despair on the floor! Lockheart rolls into the ring and gives herself time to recover, before she’s followed by Ricci. She charges in at him and he spins around to hit her with a cyclone kick that makes her flip onto her stomach! He goes for another cover!
One!
Two!!
Thr---No! Maggie kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Lockheart has no quit in her tonight but Ricci is not making things easy for her.
Mary DeSue: If I were her, I’d have a talk with The Developer about putting her against someone bigger than her.
Arthur La Forge: No one’s ever seen him. Or her. Or it. Maybe it’s another AI like our ring announcer.
Mary DeSue: You nerds and your computer programs.
Ricci gets in position and waits for her to stand, before spinning to attempt the Coma-toes, but Maggie baseball slides underneath, then spins around for a leg sweep. As Ricci falls over, she wraps him up with a crucifix pin!
One!
Two...Ricci is out immediately at two.
Arthur La Forge: Maggie’s got her second wind!
Mary DeSue: It was one pin, let’s not get carried away.
Arthur La Forge: I’m rooting for her, I can’t help it.
Mary DeSue: Probably because she’s a girl and you haven’t been laid ever.
Arthur La Forge: You don’t know that!
Maggie rolls to her feet, shakes her head then as he starts to get up, she hits him with a calf kick to the leg. She takes a step back, screams out and hits him with a buzzsaw kick to the head! She then runs off the ropes and comes back, running up and jumping to hit the Black Legacy, but Ricci pushes himself up and launches her in the air and she comes back down into his grip for a chokeslam! She fights her way out of it with the Beat Rush, a combination of jabs, uppercuts and a spinning back elbow, but follows that up with a pele kick! With Ricci down to a knee, she runs forward again and NOW she hits the Black Legacy! However she doesn’t go for the cover, waits for Ricci to push himself up and hits a SECOND BLACK LEGACY! Lockheart turns Ricci over for the pin!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Your winner of this one, with the comeback of the night, MAGDALENA LOCKHEART!
Arthur La Forge: Gotta give it to Lockheart there, she had the wherewithal to know that one of her finish wouldn’t work on this big guy, especially since he was still relatively fresh.
Mary DeSue: Pfft, she just got lucky.
Arthur La Forge: I don’t think luck had anything to do with it, she spiked his head into the mat twice in a row. That’ll knock anyone out.
Mary DeSue: If you say so, Artie.
Maggie rolls out to the apron and as she sits there, she holds her head briefly before hopping down and heading to the back. Ricci, to his credit, is already up and chases away the referee after he’s told what happened.
We cut to a shot backstage. A door with the sign, “THE DEVELOPER.” The door cracks open, and this could be a scoop in the making, given the enigmatic nature of the one who runs LUW.
A man steps out, and we recognize him – to a point. He is wearing a grey coat, hood trimmed with that fuzzy material. The coat is now open, revealing a royal blue, pinstriped suit, white dress shirt, and red tie with a darker red shaded pattern running criss-cross through it. He still dons the black, ribbed gloves; winter beanie, sans matching scarf, and we can see locks of golden-blonde hair sticking out the beanie. He stops outside the door, allowing it to slowly close with a ‘Clack.’ He reaches up to remove the shades and mask, revealing himself to be one of LUW’s newest signees.
Larry Tact: I thought it would have been rude to not make the trip, in person, to sign all the official paperwork for my new deal. Apparently, the head of this company did not find the feeling mutual, and I’ve just been sitting before a minor gaggle of lawyers and publicists, instead, for hours. But, dot the I’s and cross the T’s, yourself, or someone will make you regret it.
A smirk traces his lips.
Larry Tact: Admittedly, that isn’t the only reason I’ve made the trip to Indy. I haven’t taken in a show, with real purpose behind it, for some time. I figured, if I’m going to sign on here and show LUW my commitment, what better way than to watch who I’ll be up against. Just be prepared … I will be. See you all real soon.
With that, the mask is pulled back up: “STAY HUMBLE.” He gives a wave and walks off.
Arthur La Forge: The roster of LVL UP continues to grow, as we have Larry Tact joining us.
Mary DeSue: Plus, we’re almost done with our first show! Finally!
Arthur La Forge: And this one has huge implications for our very first PPV in March, The Last of Us. The winner will enter the gauntlet for the Final Boss Championship last, but the loser...has to enter first.
Mary DeSue: So the loser gets to lose twice!
Arthur La Forge: Not necessarily, but..
Mary DeSue: Shut up, it’s starting!
Both men are in the ring to the cheers of the crowd, witnessing a historic first-time ever bout between two icons. Collins, being the smaller of the two, rushes Jack after the bell sounds instead of locking up. He begins to hit him with various punches and strikes, including rabbit punches and jabs, catching the former boxer off guard. Jack appears rocked and Lex hits two toe kicks to the abdomen before the referee forces him to back off.
Arthur La Forge: Can't say that Lex doesn't take his opponent seriously here.
Mary DeSue: Ugh, why are we watching so many old guys? I thought this place was supposed to be young and hip.
Arthur La Forge: Fans like who they like, Mary.
Mary DeSue: Whatever. Bring back the younger guys. They looked better.
Michaels assures the referee that he is okay to proceed, so Lex runs in at him. Jack ducks and backdrops Lex over, but he adjusts with the ropes and lands on the apron. As Michaels turns around to retrieve him, he gets a shoulder to the abdomen instead. Lex climbs back in and onto the second turnbuckle and as Jack gets to a standing base, he leaps off with a moonsault bodyblock! The two crash hard and referee Jack Kirby slides in to make the count.
One!
Two!
Jack pushes Lex off, as it's too early for the match to end.
Arthur La Forge: It's not often a veteran like Jack is caught off guard in this way, but he arguably hasn't had this level of competition in some time.
Mary DeSue: Didn't Lex say, like, he had been gone for a while too?
Arthur La Forge: What's your point?
Mary DeSue: Don't make excuses for the ancient guy.
As Jack pushes himself to his feet, Lex is already on the move again and springboards off the ropes with a back elbow, knocking him back down. Lex ducks his head low and tries for a Northern Lights suplex, but Jack finally takes the advantage with a clubbing axe handle to the back. He then hooks the head and lifts him up, bringing him back down with a Fisherman's Suplex. He then rolls over, to the shock of the crowd, still holding on to Lex and drives him back down with a SECOND Fisherman.
Mary DeSue: Okay I take it back. Old dude's kinda strong.
Arthur La Forge: Um, yes.
Mary DeSue: I mean it, Artie! You don't see anybody else doing the flipping throw thingie.
Arthur La Forge: It's called a Fisherman Suplex.
Mary DeSue: Why?
Arthur La Forge: I...I don't know.
Jack usually goes for the pin with the move but this time opts not to. Instead, he gets up and grabs the leg of Lex to try and prevent any more bouncing around the ring. He kicks him hard in the back of his thigh to knot up the muscles and make movement more difficult. He then lifts the leg out and drops an elbow down on the knee, before twisting the foot with a heel hook. Lex uses his free leg to hit a kick to Jack's ribs, which he absorbs before grabbing the leg and tucking it underneath the other at the ankle, then standing up and converting the hold into Texas Cloverleaf!
Arthur La Forge: This is a very strange match so far. You don't see Jack go with grappling based on what I've seen.
Mary DeSue: Well like, the smaller guy can't do all that jumping around if his legs are broke, yanno?
Arthur La Forge: That's true. But he's got a good ground game too, so he might just have a way out.
Lex's body being bent the way it is, he has little he can do but he pushes himself off the mat to try and alleviate the pressure. Jack feels the movement and tries to sit down on the hold to counter, but Lex tucks his chin and flips forward, putting himself on his back and using Jack's momentum as he sat down to launch him off with his legs. Jack loses his grip and staggers back, hitting the ropes, and as he comes back, Lex reaches up and grabs him, pulling him into a small package!
One!
Two!
Jack kicks out again, and as he gets up, incensed, he grabs the leg he had been working on and stomps at the thigh again. The referee admonishes him for getting too close to a low blow and he throws his hands up and backs off momentarily.
Mary DeSue: Yeesh, a few centimeters closer and Lex woulda been neutered.
Arthur La Forge: That's not really funny.
Mary DeSue: Awww, what's the matter Artie? You squirming a bit over there?
Arthur La Forge: I wish you wouldn't....no, I'm fine.
The time that Jack backed off allows the Sin City Saint to get to his feet, although he's wobbly after the attack on his leg and moving slower. Michaels moves forward and catches a European uppercut to the chin for his troubles. Lex tries to move forward to press the advantage but he has a noticable limp and Jack takes advantage but kicking downward at the shin. He then lifts Lex up and attempts the Blast from the Past, but Lex latches onto the head in mid-air and drops back down with a tornado DDT!
Arthur La Forge: I don't know if he would take this as an insult or not, but Lex seems like a very scrappy fighter.
Mary DeSue: His leg is basically a noodle and he's still fighting.
Arthur La Forge: Yes. That.
Mary DeSue: How am I better than you at this? Isn't this your job?
Arthur La Forge: *under his breath* Don't get fired on your first night, Art. Bite your tongue.
Collins crawls to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. Jack is up as well and charges forward, so Lex drops back down, holding the middle rope and low-bridging so The Blast goes through the ropes to the outside! Collins hobble his way to the other side of the ring and gains as much steam as he can, launching himself to the outside with a tope suicida! The impact forces Jack back first against the ringside barrier, before Lex grabs him by the head and tosses him back inside. He scales up to the top rope and as Jack turns around, he leaps off and latches onto his head, spinning around with a swinging DDT! He makes the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO! Jack barely gets the shoulder up.
Mary DeSue: He's doin' pretty well with a bum leg!
Arthur La Forge: That he is, Mary. Sometimes these guys just try to block out the pain as best they can.
Mary DeSue: Maybe he's just one of those that likes pain, ya think?
Arthur La Forge: Please, this is a family show. We don't want to get kicked off Twitch.
Lex slaps his own leg to get some feeling back into it as Jack slowly gets to his feet. Lex grabs the arm and drives the point of his elbow into the bicep before attempting to drag Michaels down into the WRECKAGE, but Jack adjusts his body and scoops him up, spinning around into the Blast From the Past! However he's too dazed after the head shots to make the cover, instead getting to his feet and stumbling a bit.
Arthur La Forge: Jack had a brain tumor late last year and got the all-clear from our doctors, but head shots can't be good for him right now.
Mary DeSue: Old and his brain don't work? Why is he our main event?
Arthur La Forge: I don't have the time or patience to explain marketing to you.
Knowing that he can't possibly get a pinfall now, Jack steps behind Lex as he gets up and locks in the Mean Machine Stretch! Or at least, he tries to, as Lex rushes forward and walks up the turnbuckle before flipping back and landing behind Michaels. But that aggrivates the knee, and he drops down. Jack turns around and starts to reach down, only for Lex to catch him with a desperation palm strike to the chin that rocks Michaels! He drops down to a knee, dazed, before getting back up and staggering backwards.
Arthur La Forge: Oh! He rocked him! That palm strike rattled the brains of the 53-year-old!
Mary DaSue: This seems familiar to me...
Jack takes a boxer's stance, still loopy, and motions for Lex to come forward. He ducks his head and tries for some body shots, with a few connecting, but Lex goes back to the well and rocks him again with another hard palm strike! Jack is dazed and tries for a wild haymaker, but Collins manages to avoid it and hit him with a HARD RIGHT HOOK! After connecting with Bricks, Jack's body goes limp and he collapses to the mat! Lex drops to the mat and rolls him over, hooking both legs with the cover!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Arthur La Forge: It is all over!
Mary DeSue: Wow that was actually exciting! The old guy literally went down swinging!
Arthur La Forge: Jack is a fighter, there's no doubt about it, and I think he he didn't get knocked loopy at the end there we might be looking at a different result. Let's go to...ugh...Mr. Rad for the announcement.
Mr. Rad: Your winner by pinfall is the guy with a lot of nicknames, LEX COLLINS!
Referee Kirby raises Lex's hand, who is limping but ecstatic about the win. The limited number of fans in the building also approve with cheers. Lex moves over to where Jack is and reaches down a fist. Jack, who is still dazed but finally aware enough to know what happened, gives him a fist bump.
Arthur La Forge: And with that, Lex has secured the biggest advantage he could get at The Last Of Us, as he'll enter the gauntlet match last.
Mary DeSue: So that means he's most likely to win, right?
Arthur La Forge: As we've seen tonight, the competition is going to be tough, but yeah. Entering last is the best thing you could do to get that Final Boss Championship.
Lex rolls out of the ring and begins to head to the back, but as he does the first beats and lyrics of Kansas 'Carry On Wayward Son' play over the speakers and out walks one of the latest LVL UP signings, Eli Goode! He strolls to the ring, completely ignoring Collins in a blatant show of disrespect. Collins decides to forget it and go to the back, as Goode doesn't interrupt his stride.
Mary DeSue: Oh man, this song makes me want to cry. Did you even SEE the Supernatural finale?
Arthur La Forge: Perhaps we can focus on what's going on, like the arrival of Eli Goode! This guy has been friends with Jack Michaels for years and now they're a part of the same roster again.
Mary DeSue: But he's like, half his age!
Arthur La Forge: Jack has been a mentor for Eli for many years.
Goode rolls into the ring and joins Jack, helping him to his feet. He reaches over and embraces his mentor, as the crowd cheers the pair. He holds up Jack's hand, who lowers his head and seems disappointed in himself. Eli moves over and whispers something to Jack, who nods. He then steps aside and points to the crowd, and Jack steps forward and raises his arms to cheers, as Eli claps behind him with a grin.
Arthur La Forge: Well this is a nice way to close out our first show.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, let's hear it for the old guy who couldn't win!
Arthur La Forge: Holy crap, Mary, show some respect. Anyway, that's all the time we have for this week fans...
Before the announcer can send the audience home, Eli Goode suddenly runs forward and kicks Jack Michaels low to the shock of the audience! Jack drops to his knees and holds around, his eyes looking up at Eli with a look of surprise. Eli shouts something at him that the cameras can't pick up, before he runs in and hits him with a running knee to the face! Jack slumps over again.
Arthur La Forge: What the heck?! We are out of time and this guy is doing this? Why?
Mary DeSue: He's shouting why if you'd listen.
Arthur La Forge: Stop it Eli! That's your friend!
Eli drops down and locks up the head of Jack into a guillotine choke he calls the Goode Night, with Jack unable to fight him off or even tap out if that mattered. A swarm of referees and security team members rush the ring and attempt to pull Eli off as the show fades out.
Lenny Brasco: Ladies and gentlemen we are standing outside of the personal vehicle of none other than-
Suddenly, the driver’s door opens and out steps an older, hefty yet well tailored man that we've come to know as Barnabus Cartwright. He straightens his tie and smiles kindly at the interviewer.
Barnabus: Salutations, sir.
Lenny Brasco: Mr. Cartwright, it's a pleasure! We've had a ton of great talent sign with Level Up, one of the more anticipated yet controversial being the man I assume is in the back of this car, one Sid-
Barnabus: My apologies for interrupting sir. The gentleman you're referring to has requested to be left be until his match tonight. In his words, 'Being on camera and not being paid is like a doctor performing heart surgery off the clock; you never give them the best for free'.
Lenny Brasco: I mean, I guess I understand. We just have a few questions for -
Barnabus: And you'll have all the time in the world to ask them; AFTER he's made his debut.
Lenny Brasco: Barnabus is there anything at all you can tell us?
Barnabus smiles once more and turns toward the camera.
Barnabus: All you need to know is simply this. Sidroy Covington the Fourth... has arrived.
Brasco simply shrugs as the camera fades out, right into the updated intro…
“Who Made Who” by AC/DC continues to blare over the speakers as we open to a live, limited and socially distanced crowd who are cheering as loud as they can to make up for the lack of people inside the Indiana Farmers Coliseum. Pyro blasts on the sides of the stage before the video wall shows…
RUN>LVLUP_VOICE.EXE
BOOTING…
Then the face of the Level Up announcing program, Mr. RAD, loads up on the screen, his voice loud and booming as he wears a pair of shades and a big cheesy grin.
Mr. Rad: Alright dudes and dudettes...do people still say that? I’ll have to check Urban Dictionary. Welcome to the first episode of LEVEL UP WRESTLING’S EXP! I’m your on fleek host, Mr. Rad, and who’s ready to see someone get yeeted out the ring?
The audience cheers, even if they aren’t exactly sure who they’re cheering for.
Mr. Rad: Well don’t you worry, because that’s exactly what you’re getting in the SMASH match! It’s up first, as two rookies team up to take on TWO, count them, TWO WaLuigis! The rules are simple. There are no ropes and the only way to win is to knock both members of the other team out of the ring! Just like a real game of Smash Bros!
Mr. Rad flashes a cheesy grin as footage of the game in question plays in a video behind him.
Mr. Rad: If you ask me, I think our pair of evil Luigis are gonna take this, as this is their match! Let’s get to that ring and see what these smooth brains are gonna do!
SMASH Match
Bert McAlroy & Nicky Skylar vs. WaLuigi II & III
Bert McAlroy & Nicky Skylar vs. WaLuigi II & III
We cut over to the announcer on this very wild and very nineties looking setup. As Mr. Rad suddenly vanishes from inside the ring. Sitting at ringside is a young gentleman wearing a letterman’s jacket with a “N” on it with glasses, and next to him is a young lady wearing a very revealing outfit similar to that of Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury/King of Fighters fame.
Arthur La Forge: Hello everyone I am your play by play announcer for Level Up Wrestling Arthur La Forge! We want to thank you all for tuning in to the first of, hopefully, many episodes of our bi-weekly television program EXP! And with me to my right is my fellow wrestling analyst...she is the cosplay and instagram sensation Mary DeSue!!
Mary DeSue: Thank you very much Artie!
Arthur La Forge: Please don’t call me that.
Mary DeSue: You’re lucky a sexy lady like me is even talking to you Artie, and that’s only because my contract had a stipulation to where I had to! If you get out of line with me Artie I guarantee you will not like the consequences. After all I am the beautiful bombshell of the internet and you shouldn’t forget it.
Arthur La Forge: Not that I would ever do anything to you Miss DeSue, but what exactly are you threatening me with.
Mary reaches down next to her and pulls out a yaoi paddle, don’t google it kids, the size of a cricket bat! She leans over towards Arthur and as we can tell from this revealing cosplay that Arthur is getting a bit of an eyeful as he kinda blushes.
Mary DeSue: I’ll beat your ass with this so badly people will think it’s a preview video for an only fans…
Arthur La Forge: (gulps) Well...Um...Anyway we got our first match of the evening planned and it’s a special match to show you, the fans, here and at home, exactly what kind of action you can plan on seeing here on EXP!
Mary DeSue: Hey...Artie...where’s the ring?
We see lights start flashing around the arena as the floor opens up and swallows the regular standard size wrestling ring. After a few moments four towers rise up. Each tower shoots out laser lights connecting to each other.
Arthur La Forge: Welcome to a Smash Match!
Mary DeSue: I did not agree that we would Smash and Chill.
Arthur La Forge: Well No...I mean...Gimme a second here. The arena is longer and wider than a standard wrestling ring right now because the object of a Smash match is not to pin your opponent. It’s to knock them out of the specialized flatter ring.
We see the actual flooring in between all four of the towers is padded like a regular wrestling ring; it just doesn’t have the ropes. Suddenly the lights go out and we see, floating in the air, Mr. Rad.
Mr. Rad: Introducing first, at a combined weight of Three Hundred and Nine Pounds. The team of Bert McAlroy and Nicky Skylar!
Bert and Nicky arrive after a brief blurb or each of their entrance songs play and step into the arena. Both are getting the crowd up on their feet with their energy.
Arthur La Forge: These two young wrestlers are both ready and eager to get this match underway!
Mary DeSue: I mean, they’re kinda cute. Are they gonna get powerups or anything like that?
Arthur La Forge: Not in this particular match. It’s mainly the object is to get both of your opponents out of the ring.
Mary DeSue: Like Dragon Ball Z?
Arthur La Forge: Exactly!
Mary DeSue: …Lameeeeeee.
Mr. Rad: And their opponents...at a combined weight of...what do you mean triple question mark...hmmm…Humans are so weird. The Waluigis!!
A man dressed as Waluigi walks out along with another. Both wearing unblinking, unmoving Waluigi helmets and matching costumes. They both scream “WAH!” at Bert and Nicky who both shrug as the four men enter the center of the ring as Jack Kirby, the referee, goes over the rules.
Arthur La Forge: And there are the Waluigis...
Mary DeSue: That’s disturbing…
One of the Waluigis looks over towards the commentary table and makes a heart symbol with his hands. Mary holds up her Yaoi Paddle.
Mary DeSue: Creeper alert!
Arthur La Forge: Calm down there Nolan Ryan.
Mary DeSue: ...What kind of nerd knows about baseball!
Arthur La Forge: Wouldn’t you have to know about baseball to know who I was talking about to know it was about baseball.
Mary DeSue: We never speak of this again…
The bell rings and The Waluigis start off by going for clotheslines. Bert and Nicky duck. The Waluigis turn and one gets taken out by a knife edge chop by Nicky while Bert takes out the other with an elbow strike to the sternum. Nicky and Bert pick up each Waluigi and drop them with double Body Slams!
Mary DeSue: Yeah! Whip their butts!
Arthur La Forge: I take it you aren’t a fan of our purple wearing weirdo clan?
Mary DeSue: I’ve seen those looks at cons my whole career...There are evil intentions behind those eyes.
Nicky picks up his Waluigi (Waluigi 2) and hits a snap suplex on him! Bert grabs his Waluigi (Waluigi 3) and throws him towards the closest edge of the ring. Waluigi 3 bounces on his face and rolls closer to the edge as Bert yells at Nicky to get his guy out of the ring. Nicky nods and grabs Waluigi 2 by his arm and...TRIANGLE CHOKE!
Mary DeSue: No you idiot! You gotta get him out of the ring not choking him out without his safe word.
Arthur La Forge: First off now I wonder what the safeword is and second of all it’s not a bad strategy.
Mary DeSue: What cha talking ‘bout Artie?
Arthur La Forge: Stop it. If your opponent is unconscious then you just pick him up and toss him out of the ring.
Mary DeSue: Oh...FORGET THE SAFEWORD!!!
Nicky keeps the triangle choke going onto Waluigi 2, as Bert runs over and does a falling double ax handle to the back of Waluigi 3! Bert quickly capitalizes on his attack by grabbing Waluigi 3 and doing a little walk and brawl towards the edge of the ring! Waluigi 2 is flailing about trying to break out of the choke, but finally relents and passes out. Nicky let’s go and starts dragging Waluigi 2 towards the edge of the ring as Waluigi 3 ducks a punch from Bert and hits an eye poke on him! Waluigi 3 then charges ,arms flailing, heading towards Nicky. Nicky, seeing this coming, chucks Waluigi 2 into the arms of Waluigi 3 and both Waluigis take a tumble towards the edge of the ring. Nicky and Bert exchange words as Waluigi 3 gets up and slaps the hell out of Waluigi 2 to wake him up!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to wake up your partner.
Mary DeSue: What’s another?
Arthur La Forge: Erm...well...
Mary DeSue: Artie you’re blushing...it’s almost cute in a pathetic way.
Arthur La Forge: Shut up!
The two Waluigis start to charge back towards Bert and Nicky. Nicky runs in front of Bert and holds his hands out. Bert rushes forward and leaps. Nicky giving him a boost Bert leaps up over Nicky and hits both Waluigis with a double “Give her The Bert” flying superman like punches! Both Waluigis head dangerously close to the edge of the laser light sensors.
Arthur La Forge: What a unique way to do a high flying move without turnbuckle posts!
Mary DeSue: Good! The creeps are getting their butts kicked.
Nicky, wasting no time, rushes towards the Waluigis and hits Waluigi 2 with a superkick to the face sending Waluigi 2 thru the laser sensors and the lights flash!
Mr. Rad: Waluigi 2 has been eliminated from Smash!
Bert, not wanting to be outdone, waits for Waluigi 3 to get up and rushes forward hitting Waluigi 3 with his own superkick, Gert Bert’d! Waluigi 3 flies out hitting Waluigi 2 as he hits the sensor lights!
Mr. Rad: Waluigi 3 has been eliminated! The winner of this bout is the team of Bert McAlroy and Nick Skylar!! Achievements Unlocked!!
Bert holds up his arms for cheers while Nicky basks in the win for a moment and then heads to the back not wanting to deal with the fanfare. The special Smash ring starts to go back down as the regular ring comes back up.
Arthur La Forge: And our first Smash match is in the books. Achievements unlocked for our participants too!
Mary DeSue: Wait...do we ever get to see Mr. Rad? Like outside of the computer screens?
Arthur La Forge: He’s a computer A.I….so no.
Mary DeSue: Weird.
We open up to a view of what looks like some sort of an arcade or a museum of arcades. Long lines of machines populate the walls and the floor. And on the corner, standing infront of an old classic Pac-man machine is the big Finn, “Old School Cool” Don Tirri. He is absolutely killing the game, until finally he messes up and dies. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Tirri turns around and notices the camera.
Don Tirri: Yo. Sorry bout that. I keep forgetting just how addictive these classics are. I mean, there is a reason they are considered classics. Anyway, what a night coming up. EXP 1. The first show of Level Up Wrestling. Now, I was gonna go on a long diatribe how an old fuck like me ain’t probably gonna exactly be what you’d expect to see in a promotion themed around video games and whatnot… and then I realized I’m not even the oldest fuck in the roster, not even close. So I had to scratch that line of thought and find another.
Tirri gives out a grin and leans against the machine, almost toppling the 40-year old machine over. He manages to catch it and himself, staring at it and blinking. He then turns to the camera and tries to pull off a “I meant to do that”-face before he continues.
Don Tirri: AAAANYHOW. EXP 1. It’s gonna be a helluva night tonight. In the main event we got Lex Collins goin against the aforementioned older than me fuck Jack Michaels. We got Waluigis and Nobility and whatnot. And then you got me, goin against Wendy House. And even though I don’t like tooting my own horn, I’d put my money on THAT being the match of the night.
He flashes a wide grin and gives a small flex.
Don Tirri: See, the thing is. I might be on the older side as far as wrestling goes, but what I lose in speed, agility and quickness, I make up for with experience, no pun intended. Ain’t much in this biz I haven’t either done or at least seen before. Been here, been there, been everywhere. Name a town in the good old US of A and there is a high chance I’ve wrestled there. So yeah. As far as EXP goes… I got plenty. I ain’t yet hit the max level, but boy howdy have I been to the level cap more than once. So tonight ain’t gonna be no new experience, it’ll be a damn fine showcase of new vs old.
Tirri points towards the machine next to Pac Man, an Injustice - Gods among men machine.
Don Tirri: See, just like with gaming, there is a new hotness coming out every month, yet people keep going back to the classics, or at the least hold warm and fuzzy memories of playing the old classics. That’s kinda what I am. I am an old classic that people fondly think about. And I am the kinda classic people go back to watching time and time again and always get amazed just how well I can still go.
He cracks his knuckles.
Don Tirri: So Wendy, you’re telling me that I shouldn’t be against the house. Well darlin, I’m tellin you that you can never bet against a classic. So see you in the ring.
He turns back to the Pac-man machine and starts a new game, hollering one more line over his shoulder.
Don Tirri: WAKA WAKA BITCH, GAME ON!
“Old School Cool” Don Tirri vs. Wendy House
We're back in the ring now as Wendy House and Don Tirri are set to compete, with Wendy wearing a special outfit for the occasion.
Mary DeSue: Does Wendy realize she's showing a lot of cleavage right now?
Arthur La Forge: I'm sure she does. She's dressed as Sniper Wolf.
Mary DeSue: Who? Sniper? Why a sniper?
Arthur La Forge: It's a character from Metal Gear Solid. Although I'm not sure if that's age appropriate for her or not.
Mary DeSue: Yeah but she's in her thirties!
Arthur La Forge: But her mind is...nevermind.
As the two begin to size each other up, circling around the ring, Wendy House begins skipping instead of walking. Tirri seems to be taken a little off guard by it but stops it immediately by forcing the lockup. The happy-go-lucky House surprises him by ducking underneath his right arm and twisting it into a hammerlock. The veteran grabs her wrist and spins out of it, holding an arm wringer, so Wendy cartwheels out of that to grab her hammerlock again, sticking her tongue out at Tirri for good measure.
Mary DeSue: I feel like I'm gonna end up on a watch list watching this.
Arthur La Forge: She's definitely unique.
Mary DeSue: No I meant the old guy. Shouldn't he be in a rest home?
Tirri spins around again and applies a headlock, but Wendy staggers back into the ropes and pushes him off. He takes off running to the other side and Wendy waits for him, but he stops short and knocks her completely off her feet with a shoulderblock. He runs to the perpendicular side of the ropes and comes back, but House flips onto her stomach, forcing him to step over. As he bounces off and comes to the other side, she hits him with an arm drag. She tries for a cover, but he's easily out at one.
Arthur La Forge: I'm not sure why Wendy would go for the cover there.
Mary DeSue: She seems kind of stupid to me.
Arthur La Forge: Either that or she's just trying to get him to expend more energy.
Mary DeSue: I like my thing better.
Wendy picks Tirri up, but as she does, Mr. 'Old School Cool' doesn't seem happy that he's been shown up so far and hits her in the abdomen with a right hand. When she doubles over, he brings his arm down hard with a clubbing block across the back. She arches her back in pain and staggers backward and he boots her in the stomach to knock her against the ropes. The crowd begins to boo as even though she's in the ropes, he's still hammering away with punches. With her hanging on the top rope for support, Tirri takes a few steps back and charges, only to catch a knee to the gut. She then grabs his head and swings forward with a neckbreaker! She makes a cover:
One!
Two! Only two.
Mary DeSue: Okay maybe not that stupid. She's tough. But she still talks funny.
Arthur La Forge: I'm sure she would love it if you went and told her that.
Mary DeSue: I can't afford to lose Instagram subscribers thanks to a black eye, thank you.
The two get up and Tirri tries for a right hand, but she responds with a knee lift that doubles him over. That's when Tirri loses his cool and just shoves her outright, sending her falling off the top and spilling to the floor! The crowd in attendance begins to boo him profusely.
Arthur La Forge: Of all the rotten things...
Mary DeSue: Maybe she hit her head and will realize she's pushing 40!
Arthur La Forge: That was just reckless! She could have injured herself coming down that hard!
Mary DeSue: I'm starting to like this guy, he has no tolerance for idiots.
The referee admonishes Tirri, who slides outside, grabs Wendy and throws her back in. He hits a few stomps as she gets to her feet, clutching her forearm. This gives no resistance when Tirri grabs her and hits a sidewalk slam, followed by a cover.
One!
Two!
Wendy House throws her shoulder up. Still angry, Tirri grabs the arm of Wendy and simply begins to punch at it, with House almost in tears as he teats her appendage like his own personal punching bag. He gets up and begins to shout at the audience, who return with more boos.
Arthur La Forge: Don Tirri is making a lot of friends here tonight.
Mary DeSue: I'll be his friend! This guy really is cool!
Arthur La Forge: Hurting someone because they...you know what? Nevermind.
Mary DeSue: That's what I thought!
Tirri picks House up and just because he can, lifts her up for a suplex and stalls, holding a hand out to flip off the crowd as he does so. He finally drops back and slams her against the mat. He tries for another cover and that only gets two as well. Tirri looks at the referee and warns him to count faster. This allows Wendy a moment to get up to her knees, chopping at the bigger Tirri with her good arm. He ignores that and simply reaches forward to apply a bearhug. But Wendy waits for his head to drop and drives the point of her elbow into the back of his neck, before grabbing his head and spinning out with the twist of fate!
Arthur La Forge: DIS IS ME'S HOUSE!
Mary DeSue: Ew, don't you start talking like her too!
Arthur La Forge: No, that's what she calls the move.
Wendy is unable to make the cover as she's still clutching her arm, so Tirri is able to get to his knees. She runs in for the House Special but he avoids it, then gets up and bounces off the ropes. He tries for 'The Boot', but she actually puts her bad arm in the way to block it! She screams out in pain and Tirri, briefly confused after not connecting with her head, turns back around and grabs her from behind. She does the most childish thing she can by stomping on his boot! He pulls his leg back and loosens his grip, which allows her to grab his head and run up the ropes, flipping back with the Child's Play!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Way to go little missy! The winner of the match is WENDY HOUSE!
Arthur La Forge: I don't know if stomping on the foot of someone is the cleanest method to win a match, but it's technically not illegal.
Mary DeSue: I'm sure Tirri will have a few words to say about it though. Cool words, I bet. I should get him on my TikTok.
Arthur La Forge: He did everything right but it still seems he underestimated her. I guess someone in their forties can't anticipate the thoughts of an eight-year-old.
Mary DeSue: SHE'S THIRTY-SIX! SHE COULD BE MY AUNT!
Arthur La Forge: As Wendy celebrates, we have to go backstage, as another one of Level Up’s talents is arriving at the building!
Mary DeSue: So many people showing up late. Don’t they have any drive?
Backstage, in the parking lot of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum, a black Ford pickup pulls up and out steps "The Relentless One" Adam Miller. Wearing his grey F.E.A.R hoodie and black pants. He walks confidently into the arena. He walks past young upstart Nicky Skylar, who just won his own match earlier in the night.
Nicky Skylar: What does F.E.A.R. stand for?
Miller looks at Skylar.
Adam Miller: I'm sorry, was that aimed at me?
Nicky Skylar: Who the hell else is here? If you want a better hoodie at a great price cause you’re stuck at the indies...I do have merch.
Miller chuckles at the response.
Adam Miller: Kid, I ain't the guy who is in the opener for this company. I'm already above you. And fear. It stands for Face Everything and Rise. Which I do every day. So here's something for you. Now that you’re done with your little scuffle, I invite you to come to the ring and watch me. I'll teach you how this game works.
Nick Skylar: Well I did pay 250 dollars to roll around in somebody’s garage. So when the opportunity is there I guess I’ll take it “to learn”.
Miller looks disgusted and walks away down the corridor.
Ace Sky vs. Sidroy Covington IV
Arthur La Forge: Well it’s nice to see everyone getting along.
Mary DeSue: That Miller guy was rude! All Nicky did was ask him a question!
Arthur La Forge: I dunno, he seemed really condescending about it.
Mary DeSue: Please, I think Miller is just looking for a fight.
Arthur La Forge: He’ll get one later, but for now we have another match to get to!
Ace Sky is already in the ring and Sidroy Covington the Fourth has just joined him. The referee makes a move to ring the bell, but Sidroy stops him. He points down at his servitor Barnabus Cartwright, who has grabbed a microphone.
Barnabus Cartwright: Please rise and remain silent as we welcome true, unbridled greatness in the form of man. Hailing from Knightsbridge, London England and now residing in Aberdeen Scotland, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the pinnacle of Professional Wrestling, the undisputed king of the United Kingdom, the Golden God of the Granite City, the Absolute of Aberdeen, the youth of today and the face of tomorrow... and quite simply yet literally the greatest man to ever walk this earth... I am both honored and humbled to present to you, fourth of his name but first of his kind; "Ever Fortunate" Sidroy Covington the Fourth!
The crowd boos at the pompous entrance, while Sidroy simply smiles in the and lets the referee know he can call for the bell now.
Arthur La Forge: Sheesh, this guy is definitely full of himself.
Mary DeSue: I want a personal announcer! Why don’t I have one?
Arthur La Forge: A computer program was literally designed specifically to introduce everyone here!
Mary DeSue: Yeah, but that thing gives me the creeps!
The two lock up in the ring but Sidroy immediately gets the advantage with an arm wringer, before slamming his arm down on the shoulder of Ace to knock him down. He hits another and then twists at the wrist, perhaps taking a note from the match that happened earlier. Ace gets to his feet but Sidroy clubs down on the shoulder again, wrenching at the arm even more. In an impressive show of agility, Ace rolls forward, then kips up and reverses into a headlock, switching that into a front chancery that drags Sidroy to the mat. He then rolls around the ring with it, disorienting him. Ace Sky lets go and gets to his feet. He mocks Sidroy and gives him the peace sign, and Covington runs forward only to be arm dragged. He gets up and gets another one. Ace then runs at Sidroy and hops up, wrapping his legs around the head of his opponent and flipping him over with a hurricanrana!
Arthur La Forge: It seems Ace does a little bit of everything. He showed technical prowess and then used speed and agility to get the advantage.
Mary DeSue: That’s not fair! Mr. Covington can’t even form a gameplan!
Arthur La Forge: Mister?
Mary DeSue: Someone that fancy, you need to show respect. And he’s so fancy. But you already know!
Covington staggers into the nearest turnbuckle, dazed. Ace comes in to press the advantage before the referee tells him to back off as Sidroy is in the ropes. He starts to, while arguing with the referee, before Covington goes low with a dropkick to the knee! Ace holds his knee and shakes it, hoping to avoid an injury this early in the match. Sidory moves over and kicks him in the leg as he tries to get up before grabbing it and throwing it down, knee-first, at the mat.
Arthur La Forge: Sidroy is a technical wizard and now he’s found a body part of Ace Sky’s to focus on.
Mary DeSue: Hop around now!
Arthur La Forge: You’re so kind and caring.
Mary DeSue: Hey, they get paid to take this abuse, I get paid to be snarky. Deal with it.
Covington grabs at the leg and attempts to apply a hold but Ace is quickly up and tries for an enziguri. He misses, however, and Covington drives the leg back to the mat, knee-first. He moves Ace to the corner and ties his leg up in the ropes, pulling it at an awkward angle. The referee starts counting and he lets go at about four and a half. As he’s being admonished, Sky comes out of the corner and hits a variety of chops and punches to fight his way back. Covington responds with a European uppercut that knocks him back into the corner. He spins around and tries for a figure four, but Ace puts his good leg on the man’s backside and kicks him face first into the middle turnbuckle!
Arthur La Forge: Ouch! That’s not what the British kid was expecting.
Mary DeSue: I hope it didn’t mess up that winning smile of his!
As Sidroy regains his bearings, Ace runs at him for something only to get dropkicked in the knee again. Sidroy grabs at the leg, hoping to apply a hold, but Ace returns fire with a headbutt that dazes him, then flips him down with the Rotation Rover! Instead of going for the cover, the grabs the arm and leg of Sidroy and drags him to the nearest turnbuckle on the right, before climbing up top, perhaps slower than he wants to.
Arthur La Forge: Ace Sky hasn’t had a lot of chances to fly in this match, but he’s going for it now!
Mary DeSue: Good. Impress me.
Arthur La Forge: I’m sure that’s the only reason he’s doing it.
Ace gets up top and after securing his balance on one leg, he leaps off for the Shooting Star Press he calls the Galaxy Leap….but Sidroy Covington rolls out of the way! Ace adjusts and lands on his feet, but that includes the injured leg and he crumples down to his knees in pain after the stunt. Ace pulls himself to his feet and turns around only to be caught by the COVINGTON CAVE-IN! He crashes down hard on top of Ace Sky and hooks the legs behind him!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
Mr. Rad: That British guy wins! I mean...Sidroy Covington IV wins! And hopefully his snobby friend doesn’t INTERRUPT ME anymore!
Arthur La Forge: Seems our AI program isn’t happy with Barnabus.
Mary DeSue: Who cares? It’s a computer. It doesn’t think.
Arthur La Forge: We hope. Anyway, Sidroy Covington clearly had a gameplan going into this and it paid off. He cut off the high flying ability of Ace Sky and hurt the leg enough to take out a large chunk of his moveset!
Mary DeSue: That’s because the British are better than us at most things. Have you even seen Downton Abbey?
Arthur La Forge: I’m more of a Doctor Who guy.
Mary DeSue: Ugh, that is SO mainstream.
Covington rolls out of the ring and practically drags his servant to the back with him, while Ace pounds the mat and clutches at his knee, upset that the high risk maneuver backfired.
The feed cuts to the backstage area where Magdalena Lockheart is shown standing next to interviewer Lenny Brasco. Lockheart is doing some light stretching as she prepares for her match tonight.
Lenny Brasco: Hello everyone! Lenny Brasco here, donning his brand new Level Up gear with Magdalena Lockheart just moments before she's set to take on "Count Coma" Antonio Ricci. Magdalena, Ricci had some strong words for you earlier in the week. Can I ask you as he did, are you truly prepared for Count Coma, or did he just let you think that you are?
Brasco moves the microphone over for her response.
Magdalena Lockheart: I guess we're going to find out in a few moments, won't we, Larry?
Lenny Brasco: It's Lenny. Lenny-
Magdalena Lockheart: Bruce?
Lenny Brasco: Brasco.
Magdalena Lockheart: Ohh. Right. My bad.
Lenny Brasco: It's okay, Magdalena, all is forgiven. But what is absolutely unforgivable is if you don't act now and order yourself a whole case of Level Up "Level One" t-shirts! ...if they aren't sold out already. I mean, damn, these things are selling like hotcakes! And of course, they are! They're collector's items; only a limited number will ever be printed, so everyone should act-
Magdalena Lockheart: Pardon me for interrupting, but what was the question again, Larry?
Lenny Brasco: Now! Lenny! Right! The question was... what was the question?
Magdalena Lockheart: If I'm ready for Count Coma or if he's gotten in my head.
Lenny Brasco: That's it!
Maggie sighs as she facepalms in the direction of the interviewer.
Magdalena Lockheart: Look, Lanny.
Lenny Brasco: Lenny-
Magdalena Lockheart: If I were Antonio Ricci, I wouldn't worry about getting in my head. The mind games won't work. Trust me. I come from a family where mind games are as common as... having pancakes for breakfast. I don't mean to come off as cocky, but I've been down this road before. More experienced men have tried.
Lockheart shrugs her shoulders.
Magdalena Lockheart: To answer Ricci's question with a question, do I look like I give a damn what he, ahem, "allows" me to think? I'm not getting paid to come here and think. I'm getting paid to kick ass. So really, the more appropriate question is: am I ready to go out there tonight and kick Count Coma's ass? To that, I can't quite put it in words. I feel like I am, but a part of me really likes this guy, and I'm sure he's just so full of surprises, I guess I really don't know who I'm up against. He looks like he could be a big time player here, though, so we'll see.
Lenny Brasco: I guess it depends on what shade the Coma Chameleon shows up as in the ring, huh?
Magdalena Lockheart: I don't really care who or what color or shade he presents himself as tonight. I just hope the Level Up team has the ice baths ready afterward cause if I get my way, I know exactly what colors he'll end up showing when the match is done. I'm sure that goes both ways, though.
Lenny Brasco: Those are some strong words for Antonio Ricci. This is shaping up to be one hell of a match.
Magdalena Lockheart: It really is, though. Isn't it? I'm excited. Are you excited, Lar?
Lenny Brasco: Lenny.
Magdalena Lockheart: Right, see, it is going to be a good match. Cause it's really not about who he chooses to be, or who I choose to-
Maggie pauses mid-sentence with her lips parted. She clutches the sides of her head.
Lenny Brasco: You okay there, Megan?
As quickly as it came, Maggie seems to also snap out of it. But she appears a bit unsettled.
Magdalena Lockheart: I-I-I'm fine.
She shakes her head vigorously.
Magdalena Lockheart: Sorry. I uhh, I need to go and... prepare for my match. Excuse me.
Maggie pushes past Lenny to exit stage right.
Lenny Brasco: I don't know what that was all about. Geesh. This is Larry, shit, Lenny Brasco reminding the fans to shop all of our new merch, and make sure to use promo code "punchout" at checkout for an extra 7 percent off all orders over 48 dollars. Sending it back to you guys at ringside!
Adam Miller vs. “The Good Loser” Brendan Logan
Miller and Logan are in the ring ready to square off when the referee checks on them to see if they are carrying or have anything illegal on them. Both are clean and the bell is sounded. Logan takes his time getting into it as Miller starts circling him really focused. He runs at Logan, knocking him down to the mat. Adam Miller picks up Logan and holds him against the turnbuckle and starts chopping at his chest. Suddenly, "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness plays and out walks Nicky Skylar. Miller looks up at the ramp confused.
Arthur La Forge: What is he doing here?
Mary DeSue: Didn't you just watch Miller invite him earlier? He's here to watch!
Arthur La Forge: Well as long as that's all he's doing...
Mary DeSue: You're so paranoid.
Arthur La Forge: I've been teabagged in Halo for too long to trust just anybody.
Mary DeSue: ....don't ever talk about that again.
Miller goes for a big elbow but isn't paying attention, so Logan ducks and clumsily tackles him to the ground. He starts clubbing away and drops a quick elbow. Even Logan seems surprised that anything is working. He bounces off the ropes and trips, somehow landing on top of him with a standing splash, which also counts as a cover. The referee counts:
One!
Two! No. Miller kicks out, then rolls out of the way to pick himself up on the ropes. As Logan moves forward to grab him, he trips again over his own feet and falls against him, his knee colliding with Adam's ribs and knocking him down again.
Arthur La Forge: Somehow, The Good Loser has lucked his way into having the advantage here!
Mary DeSue: He literally fell into all of his offense! It's like in...um...
Arthur La Forge: You're trying to think of a video game reference aren't you?
Mary DeSue: Shut up! I'll come up with one!
Logan picks up Miller and tries to ram his head into the turnbuckle, but Miller reverses it and Logan's head collides with the top turnbuckle instead. He then runs off the ropes and comes back, laying Logan out with a forearm smash, which knocks him out of the ring. Logan gets to his feet but stumbles and falls over the barricade, but luckily there are no members of the crowd for him to fall on. Miller takes advantage and grabs him with a snap dragon suplex on the floor! Logan looks completely out of it as Miller tosses him back inside.
Arthur La Forge: Well that seems to be it for whatever luck Brendan had.
Mary DeSue: Did you see the way his head smacked on the floor? He'll be lucky to walk!
Arthur La Forge: With a name like The Good Loser, I doubt he's lucky in general. Things have definitely turned on him here.
Miller gets to his feet and notices as Nicky Skylar has started to walk closer to the ring, not taking his eyes off of him. Skylar yells something that the cameras can't quite pick up, but it's enough to irritate Miller and distract him. Behind him, Logan is throwing a fit in the ring and as Miller turns around, he takes a somewhat weak headbutt to the abdomen, doubling him over. As he stumbles around, Logan gets him with the schoolboy roll-up he calls Sheer Luck!
One!
Two!
Th---NO! Miller kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Nicky Skylar has twice distracted Adam Miller and given Brendan Loganthe advantage.
Mary DeSue: Or maybe Miller's just not that good? I mean, he hasn't beaten him yet, has he?
Arthur La Forge: That's not the point. The point is that Skylar has no business sticking his nose in this.
Logan picks him up and leans him against a turnbuckle, throwing some weak chops, but not before Adam Miller tries to fight back adding chops of his own. This goes on for quite some time until Logan pushes Miller away to catch a breather. He turns his back on Miller, who shrugs and grabs Logan's head, twisting him around with the Crossroads! He scoops Logan back up, and staring right at Skylar as he does so, lifts him up and brings him back down with the Fall From Grace! He makes the cover!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Looks like The Good Loser lives up to his name, guys...the winner is ADAM MILLER!
Arthur La Forge: I can't say this surprises me, given what I know of Logan, but Miller is going to be mad that even came close to losing here.
Mary DeSue: It's his own fault! Imagine losing in Fall Guys because someone kept running around and you focused on them instead of what you were doing.
Arthur La Forge: Wow Mary, I'm impressed...hey wait, is that Google loaded up on your phone?
Mary DeSue: NO!
Adam Miller gets to his feet and shouts at Nicky Skylar, boasting about his win. Skylar simply waves him off and heads backstage, not really caring that his distraction didn't work.
We find ourselves suddenly staring at a scene far from Indianapolis. Nevertheless, it is a scene – more accurately, a site – many people could recognize. That site would be a slice of New York City skyline, recognizable by the Empire State Building. However, the shot then begins to pull back, further and further, and we fade to...
A shot of the same skyline, but well off in the distance, the spire of the ESB only visible by the flashing light to signal air traffic. Coincidentally, the shot pans to find us in front of an entryway to one of the most recent, freshest installments of airport infrastructure: a newly-renovated terminal of LaGuardia Airport. As the camera continues panning further, we conveniently find a limousine pull up to the curb near the terminal entrance. A door swings open, and out pops the driver, scampering around in fluid, practiced fashion to the rear door near the curbside. He opens the door, and after a beat steps a man dressed in a mid-thigh length, grey winter coat, the hood of which has a soft, fuzzy-warm material on the trim and inside. The coat is closed, but we see a pair of royal blue slacks extending just far enough to rest a touch on chocolate-brown loafers; and a pair of black, ribbed gloves are covering his hands. Between those, the cream-colored beanie on his head, and matching scarf, he will have none of the bitter wind cutting through to chill him on this crisp winter day. For all this fashion and sensibility, we cannot well-identify this man – for the shades plus a royal blue, cloth mask obscure his features. The mask reads: “Stay Humble.”
The man pulls out a coffee-colored wallet, slips a couple bills to the driver, whispers a few words, pounds forearms, and the driver is off to the trunk, likely to hand-off bags to whomever. The man now turns his attention to the entrance.
Man: At least the stench hasn’t settled in here, yet.
A dutiful luggage attendant has spotted his own opportunity, seeing the driver bring a couple bags to the curbside area. He looks towards the man.
Luggage Attendant: Sir, may I?
Man: No need. I’m on a charter.
Luggage Attendant: “Oh, I see, then. Enjoy your trip.
And he is off again, back on the hustle. The man enters the airport.
Man: Well, it’s been minute, but opportunity knocks. Let’s find out what’s on the table.
With that, he strides forth into the airport. We pan to a digital board, showing Departures. We see a flight marked “IND - Indianapolis International Airport (PVT)” with no Gate, nor specific departure time.
Magdalena Lockheart vs. ‘Count Coma’ Antonio Ricci
Arthur La Forge: I hope Ms. Lockheart is okay. She seemed like her head was bothering her earlier.
Mary DeSue: She is not prettier than me!
Arthur La Forge: No one said she was?
Mary Desue: Um, this guy in my Insta comments did! And he’s wrong! I am WAY prettier!
Arthur La Forge: I’m glad you have your priorities straight.
Magdalena Lockheart and Antonio Ricci are in the ring, and it’s Maggie that strikes first with a quick kick to the outer thigh of Ricci. She begins to alternate kicks to each thigh, knowing she has to chop the much larger Ricci down. She also unleashes chops and jumps up with a forearm, but Ricci absorbs it. Lockheart goes for a spinning backfist, but Ricci catches it and lunges forward with a lariat, which Maggie ducks. She jumps up and hits a dropkick to the back of Ricci, knocking him forward. He turns around and she tries for a leaping forearm, but he catches the wrist and grabs her around the throat. He lifts her up for the chokeslam, but she slips out behind. She runs off the ropes and dives at him with a crossbody block as he turns around, but he catches her.
Arthur La Forge: This was going to be a problem as soon as this match was announced. Antonio Ricci has a significant size advantage over Lockheart.
Mary DeSue: Well, she agreed to it!
Arthur La Forge: She probably has a game plan that we have yet to see.
Ricci transitions that into a bearhug, and transitions that into a modified jawbreaker, rattling the head of his opponent. She falls to a seated position and holds the sides of her head again, while trying to scoot away and create distance. She pulls herself up into the corner, but is immediately greeted by a running hip attack from Ricci, who hits another, then spins around and clotheslines her against the turnbuckle. He spins around again with a roaring elbow to the side of Maggie’s jaw, dropping her in the corner. He then lifts her up in a bodyslam position before walking to the center of the ring spiking her with a scoop piledriver! He covers!
One!
Two!
No! Maggie throws her shoulder up.
Arthur La Forge: Perhaps we should have a talk with our doctors and see what made them think she was cleared. She has yet to get out of the starting gate here.
Mary DeSue: Oh, so you know more than doctors now?
Arthur La Forge: No, but I know when someone is hurting and she clearly is!
Mary DeSue: I’m hurting too having to sit next to you. Where’s my sympathy?
Ricci tosses Maggie back into the corner and runs in for a third hip attack, but this time Maggie stumbles out of the way and leaps up to hit a gamagiri kick, dazing him. She runs to the opposite side of the ring and then charges in, but Ricci surprises with his agility as he hops up to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a jumping knee strike that puts her back down. He tries for another cover…
... but that only gets two. Ricci climbs the top rope, but whatever he’s planning is ruined when Lockheart rolls to the outside of the ring.
Arthur La Forge: That’s a smart move there, Maggie’s taking a breather and avoiding whatever dangerous move ‘Count Coma’ had in mind.
Mary DeSue: I bet it was to put her in a coma for real.
Arthur La Forge: Don’t give him any ideas.
Lockheart barely has time to recover, however, as Ricci runs and DIVES OVER THE TOP TURNBUCKLE with a suicide dive that knocks her down! He then immediately scoops her up and attempts to hip toss her into the ring, but she manages to land on her feet, before grabbing the head and diving off the apron to give Ricci the Gift of Despair on the floor! Lockheart rolls into the ring and gives herself time to recover, before she’s followed by Ricci. She charges in at him and he spins around to hit her with a cyclone kick that makes her flip onto her stomach! He goes for another cover!
One!
Two!!
Thr---No! Maggie kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Lockheart has no quit in her tonight but Ricci is not making things easy for her.
Mary DeSue: If I were her, I’d have a talk with The Developer about putting her against someone bigger than her.
Arthur La Forge: No one’s ever seen him. Or her. Or it. Maybe it’s another AI like our ring announcer.
Mary DeSue: You nerds and your computer programs.
Ricci gets in position and waits for her to stand, before spinning to attempt the Coma-toes, but Maggie baseball slides underneath, then spins around for a leg sweep. As Ricci falls over, she wraps him up with a crucifix pin!
One!
Two...Ricci is out immediately at two.
Arthur La Forge: Maggie’s got her second wind!
Mary DeSue: It was one pin, let’s not get carried away.
Arthur La Forge: I’m rooting for her, I can’t help it.
Mary DeSue: Probably because she’s a girl and you haven’t been laid ever.
Arthur La Forge: You don’t know that!
Maggie rolls to her feet, shakes her head then as he starts to get up, she hits him with a calf kick to the leg. She takes a step back, screams out and hits him with a buzzsaw kick to the head! She then runs off the ropes and comes back, running up and jumping to hit the Black Legacy, but Ricci pushes himself up and launches her in the air and she comes back down into his grip for a chokeslam! She fights her way out of it with the Beat Rush, a combination of jabs, uppercuts and a spinning back elbow, but follows that up with a pele kick! With Ricci down to a knee, she runs forward again and NOW she hits the Black Legacy! However she doesn’t go for the cover, waits for Ricci to push himself up and hits a SECOND BLACK LEGACY! Lockheart turns Ricci over for the pin!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Your winner of this one, with the comeback of the night, MAGDALENA LOCKHEART!
Arthur La Forge: Gotta give it to Lockheart there, she had the wherewithal to know that one of her finish wouldn’t work on this big guy, especially since he was still relatively fresh.
Mary DeSue: Pfft, she just got lucky.
Arthur La Forge: I don’t think luck had anything to do with it, she spiked his head into the mat twice in a row. That’ll knock anyone out.
Mary DeSue: If you say so, Artie.
Maggie rolls out to the apron and as she sits there, she holds her head briefly before hopping down and heading to the back. Ricci, to his credit, is already up and chases away the referee after he’s told what happened.
We cut to a shot backstage. A door with the sign, “THE DEVELOPER.” The door cracks open, and this could be a scoop in the making, given the enigmatic nature of the one who runs LUW.
A man steps out, and we recognize him – to a point. He is wearing a grey coat, hood trimmed with that fuzzy material. The coat is now open, revealing a royal blue, pinstriped suit, white dress shirt, and red tie with a darker red shaded pattern running criss-cross through it. He still dons the black, ribbed gloves; winter beanie, sans matching scarf, and we can see locks of golden-blonde hair sticking out the beanie. He stops outside the door, allowing it to slowly close with a ‘Clack.’ He reaches up to remove the shades and mask, revealing himself to be one of LUW’s newest signees.
Larry Tact: I thought it would have been rude to not make the trip, in person, to sign all the official paperwork for my new deal. Apparently, the head of this company did not find the feeling mutual, and I’ve just been sitting before a minor gaggle of lawyers and publicists, instead, for hours. But, dot the I’s and cross the T’s, yourself, or someone will make you regret it.
A smirk traces his lips.
Larry Tact: Admittedly, that isn’t the only reason I’ve made the trip to Indy. I haven’t taken in a show, with real purpose behind it, for some time. I figured, if I’m going to sign on here and show LUW my commitment, what better way than to watch who I’ll be up against. Just be prepared … I will be. See you all real soon.
With that, the mask is pulled back up: “STAY HUMBLE.” He gives a wave and walks off.
‘The Blast’ Jack Michaels vs. Lex Collins
Winner Gets Last Spot In The Last of Us Gauntlet, Loser Is #1
Winner Gets Last Spot In The Last of Us Gauntlet, Loser Is #1
Arthur La Forge: The roster of LVL UP continues to grow, as we have Larry Tact joining us.
Mary DeSue: Plus, we’re almost done with our first show! Finally!
Arthur La Forge: And this one has huge implications for our very first PPV in March, The Last of Us. The winner will enter the gauntlet for the Final Boss Championship last, but the loser...has to enter first.
Mary DeSue: So the loser gets to lose twice!
Arthur La Forge: Not necessarily, but..
Mary DeSue: Shut up, it’s starting!
Both men are in the ring to the cheers of the crowd, witnessing a historic first-time ever bout between two icons. Collins, being the smaller of the two, rushes Jack after the bell sounds instead of locking up. He begins to hit him with various punches and strikes, including rabbit punches and jabs, catching the former boxer off guard. Jack appears rocked and Lex hits two toe kicks to the abdomen before the referee forces him to back off.
Arthur La Forge: Can't say that Lex doesn't take his opponent seriously here.
Mary DeSue: Ugh, why are we watching so many old guys? I thought this place was supposed to be young and hip.
Arthur La Forge: Fans like who they like, Mary.
Mary DeSue: Whatever. Bring back the younger guys. They looked better.
Michaels assures the referee that he is okay to proceed, so Lex runs in at him. Jack ducks and backdrops Lex over, but he adjusts with the ropes and lands on the apron. As Michaels turns around to retrieve him, he gets a shoulder to the abdomen instead. Lex climbs back in and onto the second turnbuckle and as Jack gets to a standing base, he leaps off with a moonsault bodyblock! The two crash hard and referee Jack Kirby slides in to make the count.
One!
Two!
Jack pushes Lex off, as it's too early for the match to end.
Arthur La Forge: It's not often a veteran like Jack is caught off guard in this way, but he arguably hasn't had this level of competition in some time.
Mary DeSue: Didn't Lex say, like, he had been gone for a while too?
Arthur La Forge: What's your point?
Mary DeSue: Don't make excuses for the ancient guy.
As Jack pushes himself to his feet, Lex is already on the move again and springboards off the ropes with a back elbow, knocking him back down. Lex ducks his head low and tries for a Northern Lights suplex, but Jack finally takes the advantage with a clubbing axe handle to the back. He then hooks the head and lifts him up, bringing him back down with a Fisherman's Suplex. He then rolls over, to the shock of the crowd, still holding on to Lex and drives him back down with a SECOND Fisherman.
Mary DeSue: Okay I take it back. Old dude's kinda strong.
Arthur La Forge: Um, yes.
Mary DeSue: I mean it, Artie! You don't see anybody else doing the flipping throw thingie.
Arthur La Forge: It's called a Fisherman Suplex.
Mary DeSue: Why?
Arthur La Forge: I...I don't know.
Jack usually goes for the pin with the move but this time opts not to. Instead, he gets up and grabs the leg of Lex to try and prevent any more bouncing around the ring. He kicks him hard in the back of his thigh to knot up the muscles and make movement more difficult. He then lifts the leg out and drops an elbow down on the knee, before twisting the foot with a heel hook. Lex uses his free leg to hit a kick to Jack's ribs, which he absorbs before grabbing the leg and tucking it underneath the other at the ankle, then standing up and converting the hold into Texas Cloverleaf!
Arthur La Forge: This is a very strange match so far. You don't see Jack go with grappling based on what I've seen.
Mary DeSue: Well like, the smaller guy can't do all that jumping around if his legs are broke, yanno?
Arthur La Forge: That's true. But he's got a good ground game too, so he might just have a way out.
Lex's body being bent the way it is, he has little he can do but he pushes himself off the mat to try and alleviate the pressure. Jack feels the movement and tries to sit down on the hold to counter, but Lex tucks his chin and flips forward, putting himself on his back and using Jack's momentum as he sat down to launch him off with his legs. Jack loses his grip and staggers back, hitting the ropes, and as he comes back, Lex reaches up and grabs him, pulling him into a small package!
One!
Two!
Jack kicks out again, and as he gets up, incensed, he grabs the leg he had been working on and stomps at the thigh again. The referee admonishes him for getting too close to a low blow and he throws his hands up and backs off momentarily.
Mary DeSue: Yeesh, a few centimeters closer and Lex woulda been neutered.
Arthur La Forge: That's not really funny.
Mary DeSue: Awww, what's the matter Artie? You squirming a bit over there?
Arthur La Forge: I wish you wouldn't....no, I'm fine.
The time that Jack backed off allows the Sin City Saint to get to his feet, although he's wobbly after the attack on his leg and moving slower. Michaels moves forward and catches a European uppercut to the chin for his troubles. Lex tries to move forward to press the advantage but he has a noticable limp and Jack takes advantage but kicking downward at the shin. He then lifts Lex up and attempts the Blast from the Past, but Lex latches onto the head in mid-air and drops back down with a tornado DDT!
Arthur La Forge: I don't know if he would take this as an insult or not, but Lex seems like a very scrappy fighter.
Mary DeSue: His leg is basically a noodle and he's still fighting.
Arthur La Forge: Yes. That.
Mary DeSue: How am I better than you at this? Isn't this your job?
Arthur La Forge: *under his breath* Don't get fired on your first night, Art. Bite your tongue.
Collins crawls to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. Jack is up as well and charges forward, so Lex drops back down, holding the middle rope and low-bridging so The Blast goes through the ropes to the outside! Collins hobble his way to the other side of the ring and gains as much steam as he can, launching himself to the outside with a tope suicida! The impact forces Jack back first against the ringside barrier, before Lex grabs him by the head and tosses him back inside. He scales up to the top rope and as Jack turns around, he leaps off and latches onto his head, spinning around with a swinging DDT! He makes the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO! Jack barely gets the shoulder up.
Mary DeSue: He's doin' pretty well with a bum leg!
Arthur La Forge: That he is, Mary. Sometimes these guys just try to block out the pain as best they can.
Mary DeSue: Maybe he's just one of those that likes pain, ya think?
Arthur La Forge: Please, this is a family show. We don't want to get kicked off Twitch.
Lex slaps his own leg to get some feeling back into it as Jack slowly gets to his feet. Lex grabs the arm and drives the point of his elbow into the bicep before attempting to drag Michaels down into the WRECKAGE, but Jack adjusts his body and scoops him up, spinning around into the Blast From the Past! However he's too dazed after the head shots to make the cover, instead getting to his feet and stumbling a bit.
Arthur La Forge: Jack had a brain tumor late last year and got the all-clear from our doctors, but head shots can't be good for him right now.
Mary DeSue: Old and his brain don't work? Why is he our main event?
Arthur La Forge: I don't have the time or patience to explain marketing to you.
Knowing that he can't possibly get a pinfall now, Jack steps behind Lex as he gets up and locks in the Mean Machine Stretch! Or at least, he tries to, as Lex rushes forward and walks up the turnbuckle before flipping back and landing behind Michaels. But that aggrivates the knee, and he drops down. Jack turns around and starts to reach down, only for Lex to catch him with a desperation palm strike to the chin that rocks Michaels! He drops down to a knee, dazed, before getting back up and staggering backwards.
Arthur La Forge: Oh! He rocked him! That palm strike rattled the brains of the 53-year-old!
Mary DaSue: This seems familiar to me...
Jack takes a boxer's stance, still loopy, and motions for Lex to come forward. He ducks his head and tries for some body shots, with a few connecting, but Lex goes back to the well and rocks him again with another hard palm strike! Jack is dazed and tries for a wild haymaker, but Collins manages to avoid it and hit him with a HARD RIGHT HOOK! After connecting with Bricks, Jack's body goes limp and he collapses to the mat! Lex drops to the mat and rolls him over, hooking both legs with the cover!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Arthur La Forge: It is all over!
Mary DeSue: Wow that was actually exciting! The old guy literally went down swinging!
Arthur La Forge: Jack is a fighter, there's no doubt about it, and I think he he didn't get knocked loopy at the end there we might be looking at a different result. Let's go to...ugh...Mr. Rad for the announcement.
Mr. Rad: Your winner by pinfall is the guy with a lot of nicknames, LEX COLLINS!
Referee Kirby raises Lex's hand, who is limping but ecstatic about the win. The limited number of fans in the building also approve with cheers. Lex moves over to where Jack is and reaches down a fist. Jack, who is still dazed but finally aware enough to know what happened, gives him a fist bump.
Arthur La Forge: And with that, Lex has secured the biggest advantage he could get at The Last Of Us, as he'll enter the gauntlet match last.
Mary DeSue: So that means he's most likely to win, right?
Arthur La Forge: As we've seen tonight, the competition is going to be tough, but yeah. Entering last is the best thing you could do to get that Final Boss Championship.
Lex rolls out of the ring and begins to head to the back, but as he does the first beats and lyrics of Kansas 'Carry On Wayward Son' play over the speakers and out walks one of the latest LVL UP signings, Eli Goode! He strolls to the ring, completely ignoring Collins in a blatant show of disrespect. Collins decides to forget it and go to the back, as Goode doesn't interrupt his stride.
Mary DeSue: Oh man, this song makes me want to cry. Did you even SEE the Supernatural finale?
Arthur La Forge: Perhaps we can focus on what's going on, like the arrival of Eli Goode! This guy has been friends with Jack Michaels for years and now they're a part of the same roster again.
Mary DeSue: But he's like, half his age!
Arthur La Forge: Jack has been a mentor for Eli for many years.
Goode rolls into the ring and joins Jack, helping him to his feet. He reaches over and embraces his mentor, as the crowd cheers the pair. He holds up Jack's hand, who lowers his head and seems disappointed in himself. Eli moves over and whispers something to Jack, who nods. He then steps aside and points to the crowd, and Jack steps forward and raises his arms to cheers, as Eli claps behind him with a grin.
Arthur La Forge: Well this is a nice way to close out our first show.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, let's hear it for the old guy who couldn't win!
Arthur La Forge: Holy crap, Mary, show some respect. Anyway, that's all the time we have for this week fans...
Before the announcer can send the audience home, Eli Goode suddenly runs forward and kicks Jack Michaels low to the shock of the audience! Jack drops to his knees and holds around, his eyes looking up at Eli with a look of surprise. Eli shouts something at him that the cameras can't pick up, before he runs in and hits him with a running knee to the face! Jack slumps over again.
Arthur La Forge: What the heck?! We are out of time and this guy is doing this? Why?
Mary DeSue: He's shouting why if you'd listen.
Arthur La Forge: Stop it Eli! That's your friend!
Eli drops down and locks up the head of Jack into a guillotine choke he calls the Goode Night, with Jack unable to fight him off or even tap out if that mattered. A swarm of referees and security team members rush the ring and attempt to pull Eli off as the show fades out.