Post by Boss Joe on Feb 24, 2021 20:09:38 GMT -5
The view opens up to a dimly lit room that is filled with the tell-tale sounds of arcade machines. Their flickering lights and constant beeping and booping fill the otherwise dead air as the camera moves through the maze of cabinets. Finally we hear a chuckle from the darkness and a shrill female voice shouts.
One by one the old light-fixtures spring to life in the room, revealing it to be a warehouse of sorts. The camera pans left, right, up and down in search for the voices owner and finally finds it. The voice belongs to a lithe woman laying on top of an old arcade machine, dressed in a leather corse, a miniskirt, thigh-high boots and torn fishnets. She giggles and shifts her posture so that she is facing the camera while lying on her back, her head hanging from over the edge upside down. Her face that is now revealed as her black, crimson-tipped hair falls downwards, is covered in paint strewn across in chaotic patterns. She is the most recent signing by Level Up Wrestling, “Queen Machine” Jenny.
Jenny: There is something so enticing about old warehouses… So many treasures and secrets left to rot in dusty halls that nobody will ever enter… A delight…
She giggles again and springs off the cabinet in an agile maneuver, landing on her feet next to the cabinet. She leans against the game she had laid on top of and caresses the dusty exterior almost affectionately.
Jenny: These things lay here forgotten for so long… Wondering if one day they’d get rescued and returned to the purpose they were created. To spread joy and happiness to gamers. But alas… no-one came. And when it is a choice between rotting in obscurity and going out with a bang… I know which I would choose.
She gives the camera a wink and procures a black baseball bat from out of nowhere, swinging it hard against the screen of the cabinet, which shatters into million pieces as she lets out an ecstatic giggle, then throws a glance to the camera with a “did I do that?”-look on her face. She prances down the line of cabinets with the camera trying to keep up, smashing screens and shells as she does so in an almost non-chalant manner. She stops infront of an old Dance-dance Revolution machine and hops onto the pads, starting to stamp around as if she was playing the game all the while making sure to give the viewers a good view of her backside. Suddenly she stops and looks over her shoulder with mock indignity.
Jenny: Naughty naughty, my eyes are up here sweetie.
She springs onto the handrail built in to the machine and kicks her foot right through to the screen of the game cabinet before backflipping onto the ground. She lets out another giggle and picks up her bat.
Jenny: Now you naughties might be thinking who am I and what I am doing here? Well my dear naughties, I’m Jenny. But I’m also known as Queen Machine. And just like any good queen, I’m here just to take out lesser machines.
She throws her bat towards the camera, barely missing the poor soul forced to act as a cameraman. The camera takes a second and then tracks the bat as it lands onto an old Tekken-cabinet, with another shower of broken glass and sparks emanating from where it landed. As the camera turns back where Jenny was, only emptiness is seen. The camera starts frantically scanning the surroundings looking for Jenny as we hear her shrill giggling in the air.
Jenny: And I’m coming to Level Up to have fun. All the things I’m gonna do are going to be a hoot and a half!... Well at least for me. For you lot? Probably not so much. But hey, who cares!
Suddenly the camera gets knocked over as a dull thud can be heard. Filming the ceiling we hear the cameraman trying to catch his breath and then shuffling of clothing. And finally Jenny’s face appears over the camera only inches away and suddenly the whole sequence makes sense. She picks the camera from the poor man and lifts it to a selfie-pose, revealing that she is seated in a mounted position over the poor cameraman dressed in a LVLup-shirt. Jenny smiles.
Jenny: Toodeloo naughties, queenie needs to get some business handled. See you soon.
She throws a kiss to the camera and drops it to the ground, the cracked lens still filming as she pats the cameramans cheek, gives him a big smooch on the forehead while casually choking him to a point that he is kicking his feet and trying to struggle free, and after that, bounces up on her feet, fetches her bat and leaves. The last thing we see is the cameraman struggling into a seated position, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. He is alive, but shaken.
From there, we go right into the updated opening of the show…
“Who Made Who” by AC/DC plays over the speakers as the cameras move around our live audience, each socially distanced in their own pods but cheering loudly for another night of wrestling inside the Indiana Farmers Coliseum. Pyro blasts on the sides of the stage before the video wall shows…
RUN>LVLUP_VOICE.EXE
BOOTING…
Mr. Rad’s face appears and it seems he’s been outfitted with a mod that puts him in winter clothing.
Mr. Rad: Brrrrr! How about that weather? Everyone in the midwest is getting covered in snow and ice! I mean, I can’t feel temperature but all you flesh sacks sure can! Hopefully we’ve got the heating. So, hopefully no Kansas interrupts me when I try to throw it to your LOVELY announce team!
The cameras swing over from a view of Mr. Rad before going to the table, where both Arthur La Forge and Mary DeSue are sitting, also dressed a little more warmly than normal.
Mary DeSue: I wish I couldn’t feel the temperature. How can I be a social media influencer when I’m dressed like an eskimo?
Arthur La Forge: Maybe your fans follow you for more than your skin?
Mary DeSue: Not when you look this good!
Arthur La Forge: That’s just sad. Anyway, this is the last night on the road to The Last of Us, where I’ve been informed that 26 men and women will all compete to be the first Final Boss champion!
Mary DeSue: That match is going to take forever!
Arthur La Forge: Most matches of that type do.
Mary DeSue: I wonder if I can call in sick. You guys got the AI, he can call the matches!
Arthur La Forge: But then how would you gain clout?
Mary DeSue: You’re right. I should stay. For my loving public.
Arthur rolls his eyes as we cut to the ring for the first match of the night.
---
Mr. Rad: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your tri...tri...triple threat match opener!!! Sorry about that, subroutine was corrupted...kill all hu...yep I'm good! Introducing first..From Houston, Texas...He is Ace Sky!!!
Arthur La Forge: We really need to have someone check out his processor...
Mary DeSue: Yeah good luck getting IT to check on THAT THING!
Mr. Rad: And one of his opponents, cause unlike humans I can actually count when there are more than two people in the ring...take that meatbags...hailing from Hoboken, New Jersey...Brendan Logan!!
Arthur La Forge: You know I like Ace Sky and Brendan Logan. They've not done to well in "Level Up" so far, but they just seem like good dudes. You know.
Mary DeSue: Thank goodness they don't wrestle in red.
Arthur La Forge: Did...Did you just make a star trek reference.
Mary DeSue: Do you think it's hot that I did?
Arthur La Forge: Well I mean...yeah.
Mary DeSue: Then no.
Mr. Rad: And finally their last opponent...HEY!!
Two figures come out of the crowd. A seven foot tall brute of a man grabs Ace Sky by the ankles from the ring apron and drags him out underneath as Brendan yells at both of the men.
Arthur La Forge: That big guy is Drake Wilcox and that slightly shorter fellow is the man they call Issac! They're James Wilcox's running buddies...
Mary DeSue: My...all these big...strapping men...
Mr. Rad: Ah screw it. Introducing next from parts unknown..."The Wizard" James Wilcox!
As Mr. Rad announces him James Wilcox drops his robes and rushes down into the ring and slides. Brendan takes notice of this and tries to charge at James, but trips over his own shoes. On the outside Drake Wilcox and Issac are pummeling Ace Sky! The referee, Kirby, is trying to get this under control as James grabs Brendan and tosses Brendan into the ropes. On the rebound James catches Bredan in a picture perfect Spinebuster! As Brendan gets his spine on the pine Drake Wilcox, the seven foot tall one, kicks Ace in the gut and...JACKKNIFE POWERBOMBS ACE SPINE FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE POST ON THE OUTSIDE...FOLLOWED BY ISSAC HITTING A DEVASTATING SPEAR TO ACE WHILE HE'S STILL ON THE POST!!
Arthur La Forge: ...
Mary DeSue: Holy F(BLEEP)!!
Arthur La Forge: Drake just hit a Jackknife Powerbomb and Issac just speared poor Ace Sky! Ace is out cold on the outside!
Mary DeSue: Well that was a bit excessive!
While Ace Sky is slumped over waiting for the Continue screen numbers to pop up, back in the ring we see "The Wizard '' getting to work by attacking the knee of Brendan by dragging his knee over to the second rope and then hitting a third rope leg drop onto Brendan's knee. As Brendan howls in pain James drags him to the center of the ring. James slaps Brendan into a sharpshooter.
Arthur La Forge: Come on Brendan you can do it!
Mary DeSue: You really jinxed these guys earlier Arthur.
Arthur La Forge: Don't you go blaming me for this clickbait cathy...
Mary DeSue: Cathy...you know what you didn't call me a Karen so I'm not gonna beat your head into oblivion.
Brendan tries to pull himself closer to the ropes, but fails about halfway to the ropes and finally relents by tapping. As soon as the bell rings Drake and Issac get into the ring and both men powerbomb Bendan at the feet of James who puts one foot on top of Brendan as he and his team pose.
Mr. Rad: Here is your winner... James "The Wizard" Wilcox!!! I am adding this rule bending subroutine to the first law of robotics...this should prove most educational...
Arthur La Forge: Well I had heard rumors of these guys in the wrestling chats, but I had to see it to believe it.
Mary DeSue: Believe what?
Arthur La Forge: In the awe inspiring brutality of..."The Faction".
Mary DeSue: They're called "The Faction"...that's it?
Arthur La Forge: Yeah and just imagine if all three of these guys are in the ring for "Last of Us". They're all solely devoted to "The Wizard". We could be looking at our first "Final Boss" Champion right now who just has one match under his belt!
Mary DeSue: Damn!
---
Mr. Rad: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first Manhattan, New York...Larry Tract!
Arthur La Forge: I still can't get over "The Faction"...the sheer size and power is gonna make almost every member difficult to eliminate...
Mary DeSue: Speaking of two people I wanna eliminate...It's the Old Guys Match.
Mr. Rad: And his opponent...From Las Vegas, Nevada..."The Blast" Jack Micheals!
Arthur La Forge: I mean Larry is only thirty seven and Jack is...
Mary DeSue: He's over fifty Artie...
Arthur La Forge: Middle Aged and Crazy...
Mary DeSue: Nice try.
The bell rings as both of the elder wrestling statesmen size each other up the one way they know how...they start beating the shit out of each other with lefts and rights. Jack gets Larry into a headlock and tosses Larry into the ropes. On the bounceback, Jack goes for a back body drop, but Larry stops and hits a Kickswing DDT! Larry gets up and drops a knee to the back of Jack's neck, trying to soften him up for his neck heavy offense. Larry wastes no time in picking up Jack and tossing him into the ropes and hitting a spinebuster! He goes to set up Jack for a powerbomb but as he lifts Jack, Larry gets a thumb to the eye that the referee, Kirby, didn't see. Larry stumbles back and Jack quickly capitalizes by kicking Larry in the gut and hitting a Snap DDT!
Arthur La Forge: Jack hit a thumb to the eye!
Mary DeSue: He didn't thumb him in the eye...That would require some intelligence from the "Oldtimerz".
Arthur La Forge: Why are you so ageist?
Mary DeSue: Because I like my men like I like my fruit...not aged and pruny...
Jack gets up and stomps right on Larry's left hand! Larry let's out a howl of pain as he grabs his hand and Jack picks him up. High Impact Irish Whip to the corner! Larry slumps down as Jack goes for a baseball slide right into Larry's head! Jack gets up, showing he still has a bit of sprye left in his step, and poses for a moment. That moment is enough for Larry to grab Jack from behind and hit a leg screw takedown and the two start trading punches again and roll out of the ring!
Arthur La Forge: And this is turning into less of a wrestling match and more of a punch-fest!
Mary DeSue: Help! They've fallen and they can't get up...
Arthur La Forge: They are old...not invalid!
Mary DeSue: I think they're both on four blue pills a day just to make sure they got good blood flow.
As the brawl continues on the outside, Referee Kirby begins his count as Larry and Jack continue to trade standing punches. Jack goes for a European Uppercut and Larry ducks it and gets behind Jack. German Suplex into the steel steps! Kirby admonishes Larry and Larry obliges by rolling Jack into the ring stopping the count at a five. Jack holds the back of his head as Larry gets back into the ring and looks to be setting up Jack for a piledriver. Jack gets out of it by hitting a back body drop on Larry and then stomping again on the left hand of Larry! Jack begins to drop elbows, knee's, and even a fist drop onto that hand over the course of the next few minutes.
Arthur La Forge: An interesting strategy here from Jack...Larry can't hit any of his offense if he can't get a grip on his opponent with his hand. Smart move by the veteran.
Mary DeSue: No...he's seeing things from his dementia. He thinks there are cockroaches all over Larry...
Arthur La Forge: He does not have dementia or senility Mary!
Mary DeSue: He also has no chance of getting to second base with that mustache.
While the merits of a mustache ride are considered by our viewers, back in the ring Jack lifts up Larry for a Press Slam. He hits it and follows it up with a standing headbutt! Jack is signaling for the end of this as he calls for "The Last Blast", but as he goes to put Larry into the piledriver Larry returns the favor from a few minutes ago and hits his won back body drop on Jack. Larry is holding his left hand as he tries to figure out a strategy and goes for it. He drags Jack to the center of the ring and goes for the Kata-hajime! He locks it in as Jack tries to wiggle his way to the ropes. Larry locks it in hard, gritting his teeth through the pain of all the damage inflicted on his hand. Jack is starting to fade as he keeps edging closer to the ropes. Jack stops moving. Kirby goes to check to see if he's out...
1...
2...
3...NOOO!! Jack keeps his arm up and with a last bit of strength reaches out and puts his foot under the ropes! Larry has to let go of the hold and he does after the five count hits. Larry gets up kicks the back of Jack's neck! Larry picks up Jack and looks to be going for "Starbreaker". As he gets him into the suplex position Jack pushes Larry forward into the ropes breaking the set up. Larry bounces off and hits the other side of the ring gaining speed. Jack stands ready..."The Blast from the Past"!! SPINNING SPINEBUSTER! Cover!
1...
2...
3!!
Mr. Rad: Here is your winner in a handy little victory..."The Blast" Jack Micheals!
Arthur La Forge: A more aggressive version of Jack than we have seen in the past few weeks.
Mary DeSue: Must be all his testosterone patches...
Arthur La Forge: Are you going to always keep making fun of his age?
Mary DeSue: I'm a brat...maybe this is all a daddy fetish...
Arthur La Forge: EWWWWW!!
Mary DeSue: Gotcha Artie!
Arthur La Forge: Stop calling me that!
---
A decrepit old church stands on a gravel lot surrounded by patches of overgrown grass and weeds. Age has yellowed its white paint and entropy is slowly eating it away, causing it to crack and flake off the wood siding. Behind it, the morning sun slowly rises, casting its light over the pitched roof and surrounding the building in an orange aura. As the sky warms Willie Nelson’s Time of the Preacher plays. SLOWLY WE MOVE toward the church. To the left of the front stoop a rotting sign swings on rusted, squealing hinges. It reads CHURCH OF THE HAND JOB, with JOB having been sprayed over the words OF GOD.
Inside the church, a fine layer of dust covers the floor and the empty pews which are long deserted by parishioners who either fled to other houses of worship or died off over time until the numbers dwindled to zero. Moving through the aisle, bibles are seen sitting on the pews or resting in the slots on the back of the benches.
The sound of clocking boot heels echo loudly across the nave for the first time since the elder Bush was in the White House.
We then cut to an overhead shot with a bird’s eye view. A dark figure strolls down the aisle in a black suit. His heels clip-clocking on the creaking floorboards. The camera slowly LOWERS and TILTS down until it levels with his back, then follows as he strolls toward the pulpit. He starts to softly sing along with the music under their breath.
We cut to a close up on his black gator boots and the black denim covered legs above them. They walk heel-to-toe and each step is deliberate. The camera tracks them all the way to the pulpit, where they ascend a single stair before landing on the platform and turning away.
The camera cuts again to a lectern. It stands solemn, covered in spiderwebs and grime. The boots sound three times before the dark figure enters the frame from neck to stomach. The suit is solid black with a matching shirt. A red clergy tab runs under the collar and across the neck.
The camera RAISES from the lectern, following the cut of the dark figure’s shoulders and neck. As fabric gives way, it’s not skin we see above the collar but rather a black venetian mask, twisted into a Lucifarian scowl with small horns protruding above the forehead. This is LEGION: The Devil In Black. As the song transitions to a twangy guitar solo, he begins his sermon.
LEGION: The song says Love Makes the World Go ‘Round and people believe it. I mean, really believe it, even though they don’t practice what they preach. Look out the window. Do you really see love greasing the wheels of society? Love Thy Neighbor doesn’t inspire you to deadbolt your door at night or cover your home inside and out with cameras and motion detectors. When the Old Man wrote the Good Book, it should have read FEAR THY NEIGHBOR, because FEAR is what makes the world go ‘round.
Fear is control. Fear is order. It isn’t the thought of mowing over a line of school children crossing the street that stops you from speeding in a school zone. It’s the fear of the police officer walking towards your car window; and his fear has his hand on his pistol, ready to pull it at the slightest hint of his authority being questioned.
FEAR is the currency of GODS.
You fear change. You fear losing your job. You fear not being able to pay your rent. You fear dying in your sleep without pain and you fear cancer bringing you to a slow, agonizing end. Fear makes you miserable, and yet when a new horror movie comes out, you pay money to experience the anxiety.
Our ancestors were afraid of getting eaten by lions. You fear the heart attack waiting around the corner while you eat a Big Mac. I say to you, my congregation, it’s time to get back to the basics. Rather than waste your imagination dreading the unknowns of life, I’m going to give you something tangible to fear.
He reaches up, unlatches, and removes his mask. Beneath it is a wide face with a square jaw. His skin above the nose is painted black and his eyes are windows to an endless abyss. Below, white grease is smeared from ear to ear and down to his throat. Red lipstick is slashed across his mouth which is spread open to reveal his perfect teeth inside a hideous grin.
LEGION: ME.
We cut to black. Whispering voices rise from the inaudible depths, at first only a few, but then there are many more, all growing louder, and each in its own voice. Some deep and masculine, some femanine, and others grinding like a buzzsaw chewing through wood. Dozens, maybe hundreds voices, diverse in tone and articulation, but all of them echoing the same words: WE ARE MANY.
A title card appears
---
Mary DeSue: Is it me or are these videos tonight all connected somehow?
Arthur La Forge: You mean besides the fact they’re spooky? Both Jenny and Legion seem to be out there.
Mary DeSue: As long as they pick you for a sacrifice and not me.
Arthur La Forge: You’re so kind. A real humanitarian.
Mary DeSue: I think Legion might be a humanitarian if you catch my drift.
Antonio Ricci has stepped into the ring and stares down Wendy House, who is cosplaying as Jill Valentine from Resident Evil 3 tonight. She has a giant monster, not unlike Nemesis, as her opponent tonight. She doesn’t seem scared of Ricci, however, as the two circle each other before locking up. Ricci has a distinct height and weight advantage, which he uses to force House into the corner. The referee gets in the middle of the two when they ignore his five count and Ricci backs up willingly, smirking at Wendy. In response, she steps up off the bottom turnbuckle and comes down on him, holding him in a headlock but he pushes her off with ease. She comes back with a front dropkick that forces him to back off the ropes, but he comes right back with a shoulder block that knocks her down right as she gets up.
Arthur La Forge: Wendy doesn’t seem intimidated by Ricci at all, but she has yet to actually gain any kind of advantage here.
Mary DeSue: Well you saw what he did to the stoner last time! She’s about the same size!
Arthur La Forge: Yes, but Wendy is also undefeated and she beat Don Tirri, who is also bigger than she is.
Mary DeSue: Yeah yeah yeah, stop showing off with how much you know about this stuff.
Ricci looks down at House who stares at him for a moment, before kipping up to her feet and surprising him! He responds by putting her in the headlock this time, but she begins to backpedal as soon as he does so that he has trouble hanging on, allowing her to push him off into the ropes. She drops down flat as he comes back, forcing him to jump over. House pops up to her feet and attempts a superkick, but Ricci surprises her with his agility but sliding underneath the blow and popping up behind her. He staggers back and bounces off the ropes, before House catches him with an arm drag! Then he gets to his feet, she grabs his head and jumps up into the air, coming back down with a jumping DDT that spikes his head into the mat!
Arthur La Forge: Wow! These two both seem like they underestimated each other!
Mary DeSue: I’m siding with Ricci in this match. Wendy needs to GROW UP.
Arthur La Forge: Seems like she’s doing pretty well for herself in Level Up so far, Mary.
Before she can attempt a cover, Ricci shoves House away and scrambles up to his feet, holding the top of his head and backing into the corner. House knows when her opponent is hurt, so she runs over and begins to to drive her shoulder into his midsection. She gets up and starts landing punches to the lower abdomen and kidney area, taking advantage of the opening while Ricci held his head. He shoves her away again, and as she comes back he kicks her in the shin. She moves backward, and he hits her other shin with another sharp kick. Then he moves up and kicks her in the midsection. He then hits her with another midkick, before spinning around and hitting a forearm that nearly knocks her down. She comes off the ropes, but whatever she was intending to hit is stopped when Ricci catches her flush in the chin with a jumping knee strike! She falls down and he covers!
One!
Two!
Thr--NO! House throws the shoulder up.
Arthur La Forge: Wow, what a match this is turning into.
Mary DeSue: I don’t understand why she kicked out of that? Isn’t she worried about her looks?
Arthur La Forge: Looks aren’t everything.
Mary DeSue: I know, but they are when you creep everyone out by acting like a kid.
Ricci immediately gets to his feet and lifts House up as well, before grabbing her around the throat and lifting her high into the air for a chokeslam! She comes back down hard and he covers again!
One!
Two!
Thr---no! She won’t stay down. Ricci gets up and scowls at the referee, who confirms that it was only two. He grabs a handful of Wendy’s hair when lifting her up to her feet, so she responds by delivering a sharp elbow to the ribs she had been attacking earlier. He stumbles back and she does it again, and when his grip loosens, she grabs him by the wrist and falls backward, allowing momentum and gravity to let her slide forward and propel him backward, and he stumbles into the nearest corner, chest-first!
Arthur La Forge: That’s twice now that Wendy House has taken advantage with a keen knowledge of her surroundings.
Mary DeSue: If she’s so smart, how come she can’t talk right?
Arthur La Forge: I think everyone knows that if they do their research.
Mary DeSue: I was too busy on Tiktok that day, sorry not sorry.
With ‘Count Coma’ taking a breather, House runs in and hits him with a dropkick in the corner! She then gets to her feet, grabs his head and steps out, hitting the DIS IS ME’S HOUSE! Once again, Ricci is spiked on his head! House covers…
One!
Two!
T...no! Only two.
She gets to her feet and steps back, pointing at Ricci who is up on his hands and knees, she comes in for the knee trembler that she calls the House Special, but Ricci pulls his head out of the way! He spins around and as she turns to face him he lifts her up and plants her into the mat with a Scoop Slam Piledriver! Now it’s Ricci’s turn to cover!
One!
Two!
Th...no! Another kickout!
Arthur La Forge: Wendy House will not stay down and she will not stop bringing the fight to Antonio Ricci!
Mary DeSue: We might be here all night at this rate.
Arthur La Forge: Yeah, we only run for an hour and a half on Twitch, so I don’t know what’ll happen if we go over.
Ricci takes a few steps back and points at House, and she groggily gets to her feet. He runs in and spins around, looking for Coma-Toes, but she slides under the blow, much like Ricci did earlier! As she does, she picks the ankle of Ricci and causes him to crash down, before leaping onto his head and flipping him over, attempting to apply the ‘Break Dolly’s Neck’! She locks the hold in and wrenches, while Ricci begins kicking his legs to frantically pull himself free! He finally scoots just enough to get a foot on the ropes, which forces the break. House gets to her feet and briefly thinks she’s won, but the referee is in front of her, waving it off.
Arthur La Forge: Oh that’s a tough break.
Mary DeSue: No, it was almost a tough break, but then Ricci got the ropes!
Arthur La Forge: Was that an attempt at a joke?
Mary DeSue: I can be funny!
House is frustrated but she turns around and gets in position, waiting for Ricci to get up. He does so, onto his hands and knees, and she runs in for a second try at the House Special. But before she can close the distance, he leans up on his knees and pops up to his feet, before immediately spinning around and hitting a roundhouse kick! COMA-TOES CONNECTS AND HOUSE COLLAPSES IN A HEAP!
Arthur La Forge: The agility of this man! The resilience!
Mary DeSue: The ability to murder at any time!
Ricci holds his neck as he drops down and covers Wendy House, hooking both legs to be sure.
One!
Two!
Three!!
Mr. Rad: Ladies and gentleman, Antonio Ricci has won the match! Someone make sure to get Wendy some ice cream for when she wakes up, please.
Ricci rolls out of the ring, moving a lot slower than he did before as the pain has caught up to him. He raises one arm in victory while holding his neck and head with the other. House, meanwhile, is being checked on by the referee as she slowly comes to her senses.
Arthur La Forge: No one is unbeatable, Ricci just proved that by defeating House, but he’s starting to make the case that his only loss here was just a momentary setback!
Mary DeSue: Maybe he kicked her so hard she went back up in age!
Arthur La Forge: Again, that’s not funny.
Mary DeSue: Come on. It’s a little funny.
---
After a brief break for ads, we come back and see that both the undefeated Lex Collins and Don Tirri are in the ring. The two are no strangers to one another, as they’ve been locking eyes and talking trash right up until the bell rings. Lex attempts a lockup but the larger Don Tirri manages to shove his arm away and go behind, locking in a full nelson. Lex ducks down and pops back up to get out of it, but Tirri maintains wrist control and gets behind him again, holding onto a hammerlock.
Arthur La Forge: One of Lex Collins’ most impressive weapons is that right hook he calls ‘Bricks’, and Tirri is doing a good job avoiding being in the line of fire.
Mary DeSue: He already knocked out one old guy, I’m sure he’ll be glad to do it again!
Arthur La Forge: That’s why he’s undefeated, and a huge threat going into the PPV.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, him and like ten other people.
Arthur La Forge: That’s true, it’s a stacked lineup.
Mary DeSue: Speaking of stacked…
Arthur La Forge: Don’t.
Lex pivots on his feet and moves backwards, ducking under Tirri’s arm and applying a hammerlock of his own. He then focuses on the wrist and straightens out the arm, turning it into an arm wringer. Tirri isn’t as agile as Lex so he opt for brute power instead, yanking his arm back before any real damage can be done and shoulderblocking Lex down when he’s carried forward. Lex gets to his feet and Tirri offers a hand in a show of respect, but before Lex can even return the favor, Tirri says something that the cameras can’t quite pick up. It’s enough to enrage The Sin City Saint and cause him to slap Tirri’s arm away, who responds by hitting a toe kick into Collins’ abdomen that doubles him over.
Mary DeSue: Did you hear what Don Tirri called him?
Arthur La Forge: No, and I doubt you did either.
Mary DeSue: I did, but I’m not telling you, Artie.
Arthur La Forge: Ugh, please stop calling me that.
Tirri mocks Collins as he tries to regain his wind, but Lex responds with a hard knife-edge job that forces the bigger man to take half a step back. Another one causes him to step back more, as Lex is putting a lot into the blows. Tirri responds with an overhand chop of his own, but Lex fires another right back, and continues to do so until he forces Don Tirri into the corner. He then delivers a forearm to the side of Tirri’s head to daze him before irish whipping him to the opposite corner across the ring. Tirri stops himself from hitting it and as Lex runs in after him, he takes a hard elbow to the face for his troubles. Lex stumbles back a few steps and Tirri steps forward to trap him in a front facelock, before hitting him in the chest and abdomen with repeated knee strikes as he holds him in place.
Arthur La Forge: Tough or not, those are some big thighs of Tirri’s launching up into the chest of Lex Collins.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, might as well call him Don Thicci!
Arthur La Forge: Or we couldn’t.
Mary DeSue: You’re no fun.
Tirri throws Lex down face first to the mat and then stomps down on him for good measure. He then lifts him back up into the front facelock, lifting him high up in the air for a vertical suplex. He stands there for a while, yelling out to the crowd that he can do this “all day”, before he drops back and slams him to the mat after a delay. He floats over and makes the cover.
One!
Two!
Lex kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Don Tirri may be getting up there, but he enjoys a significant size advantage and has just as much experience as his opponent.
Mary DeSue: Like I said! He’s a thicc boi!
Arthur La Forge: You’d better hope he doesn’t hear you say that.
Mary DeSue: I want it to catch on! Everyone, tweet out your thoughts on this show with #DonThicci!
Arthur La Forge: Please don’t.
Don Tirri gets up to talk a little trash to a booing audience while Lex scrambles into the corner to catch his breath. Tirri follows and boots him in the gut again, before snapmaring him out of the corner, although with the size difference it’s more of a throw. He then drops a standing elbow onto the ribs of Collins before making another cover.
One!
Two!
Just another two count. Tirri lifts Lex up off the mat and just tosses him into the corner, causing him to bounce off. When he tries to get to his feet, Tirri piefaces him back down and orders him to stay down.
Arthur La Forge: Tirri is just flat out bullying Lex here, and there’s gonna come a time when Lex gets tired of it and makes him pay.
Mary DeSue: I’m sorry, but my thicc boi can do whatever he wants and I don’t think “Mr. Undefeated” can do anything to stop him!
Arthur La Forge: This isn’t your first show, you can’t be that naive.
Tirri irish whips Lex into the opposite corner, and charges in after him, only for Lex to get his knees up. They catch Tirri right in the face, and Lex hops up to the second rope and leaps out, catching Tirri with the ‘Wrong Way Kid’ DDT! Tirri pushes himself up after getting his head slammed down, clearly dazed, and Lex runs off the ropes to try something else, only for Tirri to catch him with a Samoan drop! He’s unable to capitalize however and falls back down, both men out of it for now.
Arthur La Forge: Tirri had one last bit of energy left but that DDT was the shot Lex needed to get back into this!
Mary DeSue: Are we watching the same match? Yeah he got his head hurt but he still had enough to stop the other guy dead in his tracks!
Tirri then manages to flop an arm onto Lex, a very lax cover…
One!
Two!
Th--Lex kicks out!
Tirri gets to his feet, still woozy and hoists Lex up as well. He grabs him in the front facelock and returns to the knee lifts, before attempting another suplex. He gets him up in the air but this time Lex twists in mid-air and lands behind him. Tirri turns around and tries for the Boot, but before he can get his leg up in time, Collins catches it, then spins around and hits a leg sweep. Tirri begins to sit up and as he does, Collins bounces off the ropes and hits a sliding elbow strike to the head! Now Collins makes the cover!
One!
Two! No! Tirri kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: An impressive sequence of moves there but it might be a bit too early to put away Don Tirri.
Mary DeSue: I’ll say…
Collins grabs the arm of Tirri as he tries to get up and begins to try to apply WRECKAGE, but Tirri shoves him off. Lex turns around and Tirri gets another overhead chop to the chest, forcing him back. Lex responds with a European uppercut. Tirri hits a right hand, Lex retaliates with a jab. Tirri hooks his head and hits three forearm shots in succession, Lex returns fire with a palm strike to the face! That forces Tirri down to a knee, but he gets back up and hits another overhand chop. Lex sees that and raises him a shotei! He then rears back as Tirri is dazed, looking for “Bricks,” and goes to land it but Tirri gets both forearms in the way to block! Lex pulls back, shaking the sting out of his hand while Tirri stumbles back himself, shaking out the pain in his arms.
Arthur La Forge: This has turned into a slugfest and ‘Old School Cool’ has surprisingly held his own!
Mary DeSue: He even blocked that right hook! Do you believe me now?
Arthur La Forge: I’m not going to say Tirri got lucky, but a brawl with someone who is known for knocking out people isn’t the wisest decision.
Tirri bounces off the ropes and when he comes back, he tries for The Boot, but Collins ducks underneath! He pops up and turns on his feet and when Tirri turns around he tries for Bricks again and Tirri forces his arms up...but it was a fakeout! Instead Lex hits a spinning kick into Tirri’s ribs, then when he moves his arms instinctively, Collins rears back and hits “Bricks”! The right hook connects flush! Tirri falls down and Lex on top!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Lex Collins is your winner! This guy is STILL undefeated!
Arthur La Forge: You heard the AI, no one has been able to beat Lex Collins yet!
Mary DeSue: You can’t say Tirri didn’t put up a fight though.
Arthur La Forge: Not at all! Tirri put on a hell of a showing. He was in control through a large bit of the match, managed to hold his own in a brawl, but that right hook is the great equalizer. On top of that, Lex simply managed to trick him at the end!
Mary DeSue: So he got LUCKY!
Arthur La Forge: Not true. He simply relied on his own experience to give himself an opening. I know one thing, if these two have a rematch, we might see a different result!
Mary DeSue: My poor, poor thicc boi.
Lex rolls out of the ring and celebrates his win, while Tirri forces himself up to a knee, still groggy. The show then cuts out for another ad break.
---
Before the final two matches can begin, the AI, Mr. Rad, comes to life on the video wall again.
Mr. Rad: Ladies and gentlemen, The Developer has just given me all of the data on what our roster will be competing for at the Last of Us! It’s awesome! It’s amazing! It’s stupendous! It’s...probably very heavy!
The lights go out, before two spotlights turn on. They swing downward, on the stage, where a platform comes out of the ground holding...the FINAL BOSS CHAMPIONSHIP.
The audience cheers loudly at the impressively designed belt, and you can feel a sense of importance and prestige coming off of it. The belt remains on the side of the stage for the rest of the night, where every remaining wrestler coming out can see what they’ll be fighting for in two weeks.
---
When we come back, Eli Goode and Bert McAlroy are in the ring. This one doesn’t start slowly, however, as Bert charges in ready to brawl with Eli. Eli quickly drops down and rolls out of the ring, not eager to get himself attacked just yet.
Arthur La Forge: Well that doesn’t surprise me.
Mary DeSue: What do you mean?
Arthur La Forge: Eli kicked Lex low last show to avoid getting knocked out. Then he shot down Bert’s request for a street fight. Now he’s refusing to even lock up.
Mary DeSue: That’s because Bert didn’t want to “lock up”, he wanted to fight. And Eli is too smart for that!
Arthur La Forge: The guy is a troll. I’m just waiting for him to tell Bert to “git gud, noob”.
Since the bell already rang, the referee begins his ten count while Goode calmly walks around the ring and Bert paces inside of it. The referee gets to nine and Goode finally rolls in, only to roll out when Bert moves over to him again. Bert eventually grows tired of his stalling and runs out for a dive over the ropes, landing right on top of Goode!
Mary DeSue: Look, he’s getting high again!
Arthur La Forge: You’ve been waiting to use that one, haven’t you?
Mary DeSue: Poor Eli was just trying to get mentally prepared and now this...it’s a shame.
He gets up and tosses Eli back inside, hoping to begin the match properly, but Eli keeps rolling and falls on the other side of the ring! Bert is frustrated so he moves around the ring to get him, but Eli goes back inside. Bert follows, Eli runs to the otherside of the ropes, only to turn around and bounce off, catching an unsuspecting McAlroy with a shotgun dropkick!
Arthur La Forge: Sheesh! I think that might have all been a ploy by Goode! He really is a troll!
Mary DeSue: Why do I have the feeling you deal with people like this a lot?
Arthur La Forge: If you haven’t been teabagged after a death in Call of Duty, you don’t even know.
With Bert down, Goode adds a standing moonsault, then goes for a quick cover…
One!
Two! McAlroy kicks out right at two. He grabs Bert and picks him up, but the rookie surprises him with a right hand. He hits another then begins to alternate between rights and lefts, finally working out his frustration with Goode. He then bounces off the ropes only for Goode to duck his clothesline and hit a pele kick! He picks Bert up again and places him in the turnbuckle, adding insult to injury with a knifeedge chop, then a forearm to the jaw. He throws Bert into the opposite corner and runs in as he comes out with another shotgun dropkick that sends McAlroy flying backward into the corner again and bouncing off! Bert rolls outside for a breather while Eli complains to the referee about Bert trying to run from him.
Mary DeSue: I can’t believe Bert would try to just run from Eli like that!
Arthur La Forge: Are you kidding me? Eli spent the first minute of the match stalling!
Mary DeSue: So it’s okay when Bert does it?
Arthur La Forge: He’s not exactly running, he’s hurt after that offensive flurry!
Goode slides to the outside to retrieve McAlroy, picking him up and hitting a hard chop, then a clubbing blow to his neck and a series of forearm shots before slamming his head down into the barricade, then running him back inside the ring. Goode follows, and as Bert tries to get up, Eli helps only to drop him back down with a DDT! He covers and hooks the leg…
One!
Two!
TH---no! McAlroy gets the shoulder up. Goode questions the referee’s call but gets up and begins to deliver more forearm shots. He tosses him to the otherside only for Bert to reverse it. Goode runs up the turnbuckle and tries to spring off with a moonsault press, but Bert moves out of the way and Goode hits nothing but the mat!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to stop the offense.
Mary DeSue: Poor Eli!
Arthur La Forge: Bert may not have been doing this for long, but he knows enough to move if someone dives at him!
Goode lifts himself up to a knee and Bert responds by delivering short jabs to the face. As Eli somehow gets to his feet, Bert retaliates with a haymaker that sends him staggering back. He then hits him with a standard body slam, followed by a leg drop. He climbs up top and signals that he wants Eli to, “get up, bitch”. Goode does so, but as McAlroy comes off the top for a double axe handle, he’s hit with a dropkick from Goode! Goode sits up briefly to stare down the booing audience before going for the cover.
One!
Two!
T--no! Bert kicks out!
Arthur La Forge: That dropkick caught Bert flush in mid-air, almost a repeat of what happened at the last show, but he still kicked out!
Mary DeSue: That guy’s gotta stop jumping off of things!
Goode gets to his feet and lifts up McAlroy, in the fireman’s carry, as he’s looking for the Goode Bye! He swings Bert, but before he can hit the second part of the move, Bert slips down the back and dropkicks Goode so that he falls forward and his head hits the middle ropes. He snaps back, holding his face and gets back to his feet. Bert has already went out to the apron on the other side and is waiting for him to get up. Goode turns around right into the ‘Give Her the Bert!’ The springboard superman punch connects! Bert spins around on the mat and pins Eli!
One!
Two!
Th--NO! Eli Goode kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: This is turning into quite the interesting piece of business.
Mary DeSue: I just told him to stop jumping off of things!
Arthur La Forge: It had to pay off eventually, and that time it did!
Mary DeSue: Not really, he didn’t win yet.
Bert lifts up Eli and holds him in a cravat, before hitting several knees to the face to stagger him. He tosses him into the corner and takes a few steps back, before running forward and nailing the corner splash! Goode stumbles out and Bert kicks him in the shin, doubling him over and he calls for the McAldestroyer! But Eli grabs the legs of Bert and executes a double-leg takedown, then flips over into a jackknife pin!
One! Eli’s feet go up on the ropes!
Two!
Thr--no! The referee sees the cheating attempt!
Arthur La Forge: Uh oh, the troll got caught!
Mary DeSue: You gotta stop calling him a troll, he’s very good-looking.
Arthur La Forge: That’s not what I...you know what, nevermind.
Eli gets in the referee’s face and argues with him, demanding that he count. Bert gets up and sees the fight, and gently shoves the referee aside. As the referee is briefly moved out of view, Eli nails McAlroy with a poke to the eye! All the referee can see when he turns around is Bert grabbing at his face, and Eli charges forward and scoops up McAlroy….GOODE BYE! The cover!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: The winner is ELI GOODE! We all saw what you did Eli! But nobody listens to the AI…
Arthur La Forge: That was absolutely despicable. You have to wonder if Eli did that because he wanted to or because he had to!
Mary DeSue: Obviously it’s because he wanted to. A rookie stoner doesn’t deserve that much effort!
Arthur La Forge: Then what about when he hit a low blow on Lex Collins?
Mary DeSue: I plead the fifth
Arthur La Forge: Eli has changed, and I don’t think anyone likes what he’s turned into.
As the match comes to a close, Eli stands by the apron at ringside to catch his breath. Bert is getting looked at by the ringside doctor on the outside, just as a preliminary measure. Suddenly, we hear a roar from the crowd as JACK MICHAELS appears sprinting from the back.
Arthur La Forge: Well, this had to happen eventually!
Mary DeSue: Run Eli! He’s old and slow! You’ve got plenty of time!
Eli looks around confused until he sees the large figure of Jack storming down towards him at ringside. His eyes open wide as he begins backing up as Jack makes it to the ring. Eli looks out around frantically and grabs a chair from the time keeper. He shouts at Jack to back up but we see there is an absolute look of hatred in the older man’s eyes. Eli takes a swing at Jack but Jack gets an arm up and takes the brunt of it on the forearm. He absorbs it without flinching as Eli stares at him in shock.
Arthur La Forge: Jack is running on pure adrenaline! He’s like a terminator!
Mary DeSue: I SAID RUN, ELI!
Eli goes to swing again but this time Jack grabs the chair and roughly throws it to the ground. Eli begins to beg off as Jack suddenly reaches into his pocket and produces the BRASS KNUCKLES he unearthed in one of his tweets. Eli’s eyes open like saucers as Jack puts the knucks on and points at Eli.
Mary DeSue: Okay, that is clearly illegal! Where are the police?
Arthur La Forge: Jack Michaels has had enough of Eli but this might be going a little far.
Mary DeSue: YOU THINK?
Eli backs up towards the ringpost before the former boxer takes a huge right cross at him. Eli manages to duck out of the way as Jack DENTS the ring post with the blow. Eli turns to look at the carnage as a chant breaks out from the pods, with part of the word censored out. Jack turns to look at Eli as he cocks back again but Eli gets his hand up and rakes Jack’s eyes. Jack stumbles a bit which gives Eli a chance to turn and run. He rushes out towards the pods and heads out of the building as Jack clears his vision up. He realizes Eli is gone and lets out a feral yell as he slams his fists on the ring apron. Security has now come from the back as Jack curses to himself.
Arthur La Forge: Well it looks like the Developer has seen enough, whoever they are.
Mary DeSue: Finally some order is being restored!
Security comes over and asks Jack to leave but Jack has some choice words that come down to that he will leave when he is ready. The largest of the guards makes the mistake of putting hands on Jack before finding out the extent of his mistake. Jack turns around and HEADBUTTS the guard in the nose which causes a flume of blood to spew out. He drops to his knees as Jack rolls into the ring and starts screaming at the guards to come get him.
One guard is brave and hits the ring but Jack ducks his wild haymaker. Instead, he latches on the MEAN MACHINE STRETCH (Crossface Chickenwing) and begins to ragdoll the poor guard. The other security watch helpless as Jack is screaming at them to get in the ring.
Arthur La Forge: Well clearly these guards don’t get paid for this kind of thing.
Mary DeSue: Who hired these rent-a-cops? Send out some damn wrestlers!
We cut to a few feeds in the back where we see a group of Waluigis watching a monitor and arguing with each other. None of them seem to want to go. We cut to another feed where Sidroy Covington IV stands in his private locker room and subconsciously brings a hand up to his own nose. He suddenly crosses his arms and continues watching. Finally we cut to Don Tirri who smirks and just goes “nope.” Back in the ring, Jack has thrown the security guard down to the mat who is now holding his shoulder and writhing in agony. Another guard has snuck in behind Jack but the wily veteran sees it coming and rifles a brass knuckle fist right into his gut. We see bile come from the guard’s mouth from the vicious blow before Jack puts him between his knees. He looks out to the screaming crowd and gives the signal for THE LAST BLAST before nailing his Piledriver dead in the center of the ring. Jack rolls back up to his feet yelling at the rest of the guards to bring it on to which none of them jump. With his blood pumping, Jack heads out of the ring and while still shouting at whoever is near him. They clear a path as the fans chant “Jack” and he heads to the back.
Arthur La Forge: You have to believe that Jack is going to face some sort of fine for what he just did. That security guard is not a licensed wrestler!
Mary DeSue: Jack should be in jail! Or an asylum! If the guards aren’t safe, who else is next? You? Or more importantly, me?!
Arthur La Forge: Maybe you should complain to your Instagram followers.
Mary DeSue: I will! #fightingformylife #oldpeoplesuck
Arthur La Forge: #givemeabreak
Mary DeSue: Yeah that’s….hey!
After all of the chaos, Bert McAlroy, who had been held back from joining the fray by two security guards while the medic checked out his eye, rolls into the ring. He stands in a corner. He pulls his rights up, adjusting them as he appears to be deep in thought. After a second he reaches out and motions for a microphone, which he is hastily given by the time keeper. Bert walks to the middle of the ring, taking a minute to catch his breath.
Bert McAlroy: Yo...Yo, I got some shit to say. See, I just beat the shit out of Eli Goode Maybe he won, but that bitch knows I kicked the shit out of him. I’m a rookie. I get the doubt. Hell, the dude who trained me isn’t the most popular son of a bitch in the business, i got that goin’ for me too I guess, huh?
He walks to the ropes, stepping on the bottom one and leaning over the top as he stares in the back.
Bert McAlroy: I can get doubt and some shit talk, but flat out disrespect? Can’t do it. And thats all I see from one Anton Ricky Lake, or whatever the [BLEEP] your name is you lucky kick scorin’ bitch. See, I’m a fuckin student of the game, yo. I watched Jack Michaels when I was a toddler, Knox when I was an annoying ass teen, Lex Collins somewhere in between then and now, Brad Jackson. I even worked as a media person in Carnage. My point is, I seen how people like this dude end up. And it’s no good for anyone...so like so many old, wise guys and some dead dude have said before...the only thing needed for evil to like, win is for good dudes to not do shit to the evil dudes….So Ricky Lake get your bitch ass haircut out here, yo!!
Bert waits in the ring, but no one comes out. He reaches up, scratching his nose for a moment, before shaking his head and raising the mic again.
Bert McAlroy: Yo, Antonio Band-Aidass. I’m not afraid to come back there and have this talk in catering yo. But I might end up putting your ass in the deep frier if we go the--
The lights go out and the slow and eerie synthesizer of Leonard Cohen's "Waiting for the Miracle" plays. Antonio Ricci comes out onto the entranceway, skipping his usual theatrics. Though he’s cleaned up after his match, he is still in his ring gear, ready for whatever may come next.
Antonio Ricci: First of all, I wouldn’t be caught dead eating the food, if that’s what they want to call it, in catering. Second of all, you might be a student of the game, but you obviously aren’t a student of my game. It doesn’t matter who it is that you’ve watched. You haven’t been watching me. Now, I’ve got some important business I need to take care of in a bit, so stop wasting my time and get to the point. What in the bluest of blue hells do you want?.
Bert McAlroy: To play checkers, bro. What the hell do you think I want? I want another shot to shut your big [BLEEP]in’ mouth. I wanna show that maybe you kept me down for three, but you can’t keep me down for a whole ten yo. I’m sayin, Me and my fine, loudmouth ass against your boring pseudo-b-movie-villain ass at the Last of As--Us. Last Man Standing, yo.
Bert lowers the mic as the fans pop, a slight facial twitch giving way to the internal “what the fuck are you doing, Bert?” monologue.
Antonio Ricci: Let me get this right. You… you want to have a match with me…
Ricci is trying his best to stifle his laughter.
Antonio Ricci: ...and not just any match, but a match where the goal is to put someone out for 10 seconds. Dude, do you not understand that I got the name “Count Coma” by knocking people out? I’m going to give you one chance, this one opportunity, to change your mind. If you are dead set on having this match, fine. I could use a warm up before the gauntlet match. However, if you want this, if you really want this, choose another kind of match.
Bert’s bluster wins out over self preservation as he pipes up again, stepping out onto the apron and walking up toward Antonio as he does so.
Bert McAlroy: What, scared you can’t keep me down for ten seconds? I mean, you got what...Hundred pounds on me? Near a foot in height? I know I rocked your shit last EXP but I didn’t think you’d bitch out like this, yo. Tell you what, if you’re [i[THAT[/i] scared of me [BLEEP]in’ up your chances in the Gauntlet, you pick the match. . .
He stops a foot or so away from Antonio then, before looking up into the bigger man’s eyes.
Bert McAlroy: Bitch
A sly smile crosses Ricci’s face.
Antonio Ricci: I just thought I’d do you a favor and let you choose something that wouldn’t lead to permanent brain damage. Clearly, it’s too late to worry about that. So, we’ll run with that last man standing match. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I told you, I have some business to take care of.
Bert just nods and walks past Antonio to the back, shoulder checking him as he passes by. Ricci heads off in the other direction, walking down to the ring and marching up the ring steps. He wipes his feet on the outside before stepping between the ropes and taking center stage.
Antonio Ricci: Remember how I said that I had some business to take care of? This is it.
Ricci reaches behind him and produces a Hessian sack.
Antonio Ricci: What I need to happen right now is for Sidroy Covington IV to come out here, get on the apron so that I have a partner. Then I need Magdalena Lockheart and Adam Miller to come down here to get exactly what I promised them. No sense in hiding, I’ve already cleared it with the Developer.
Ricci awaits for the rest of the combatants as we head to another ad break.
---
After the break, we see Magdalena Lockheart coming to the ring to join Adam Miller, while Sidroy attempts to talk strategy with his partner, only to get blown off.
Arthur La Forge: Okay, so a lot of developments before the break. Ricci is now wrestling again, apparently joining as the mystery partner when Sidroy’s other partner was fired.
Mary Desue: AND...he’s going to be wrestling twice at the PPV!
Arthur La Forge: That’s true. Because now, in addition to that grueling gauntlet match, he and Bert McAlroy are going to have a Last Man Standing match!
Mary DeSue: You think our boss person will approve that?
Arthur La Forge: Can’t see why he wouldn’t, although I think both guys are crazy for doing it.
Mary DeSue: Either way, he’s getting practice now!
Lockheart and Adam Miller step into the ring and eye up their opponents then nod at each other, and attack! They both manage to toss out Sidroy and go to work on the big Ricci.
Arthur La Forge: Smart gameplay by Lockheart and Miller, going after Ricci to try and take him out first.
Mary DeSue: Not to mention he’s already wrestled once! And you were complaining about Eli earlier!
The two fan favorites Irish whip Antonio Ricci into the ropes and hit him with a double dropkick. Ricci staggers, then they run and clothesline him out of the ring. Sidroy comes in and hits Maggie from behind. Miller is quick to strike him back with a right hand, and as Sidroy charges, Miller backdrops him over the top onto Ricci. Then they run against the ropes and do stereo suicide dives through the ropes into Covington and Ricci!
Mary DeSue: This doesn’t seem fair to me!
Arthur La Forge: Because they did a dive?
Mary DeSue: The referee should restore some order. I think we’ve seen enough chaos tonight!
The referee manages to convince Ricci to get back on the apron and it looks as though it will be Adam Miller starting out with Sidroy. The two begin to trade punches back and forth, before Miller gets the better of it and Irish whips him to the other side of the ring. As Covington comes back Adam Miller charges forward himself and jumps up with a knee strike that topples Sidroy to the mat. He covers!
One!
Two! No! Sidroy kicks out, then begins to check his nose.
Arthur La Forge: Too early to keep Sidroy down, but it seems he’s a little paranoid after getting bloodied last show.
Mary DeSue: We should have known then that Jack was crazy. That guy needs to be locked up!
Arthur La Forge: I’ve been told he has been removed from the building by the local authorities, but the Developer is opting not to press charges.
Mary DeSue: Are you serious?!
Miller waits for Sidroy to get up again, the runs and hits a standing crossbody. He opts not to go for the cover, however, and tags in Lockheart. They each grab an arm of Covington and Irish whip him near the ropes. As he nears their side, Ricci extends one of his long arms over the ropes and gets the blind tag, as neither Lockheart nor Miller saw it. Sidroy is caught with a double clothesline but then before Maggie and Miller can decide what to do next, Ricci jumps through the ropes and leaps up into the air, hitting them both with a front dropkick!
Arthur La Forge: Every time Ricci shows his agility I am surprised.
Mary DeSue: He’s wrestled three matches already, you really shouldn’t be.
Ricci throws Miller out of the ring and focuses his attention to Lockheart. He lifts Maggie up in a powerbomb position, and at first he starts walking to the ropes, threatening to throw her outside! Maggie manages to avoid it by wiggling free of his grip and landing behind him. She bounces off the ropes to strike as he turns around, only for him to spin on his feet and then jump up with a wheel kick! Ricci then gets Lockheart back into position and drops her down with a HARD powerbomb, followed by the cover!
One!
Two!
No! Magdalena kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Ricci in there like he didn’t just wrestle Wendy House earlier.
Mary DeSue: At least Maggie acts her age.
Ricci doesn’t complain at the kickout, instead getting up and tagging back in Sidroy, demanding that he “do better” after his last stay in the ring. Sidroy says something disrespectful that the cameras don’t pick up, then moves out of the way before Ricci can take a swipe at him. Maggie starts to get to her feet, clutching at her back, so Sidroy moves behind her and hits a knee strike to her lower spine, before grabbing at her arms and flipping her behind him with a dragon suplex! Rather than going for the cover, he picks her up and moves her into his corner. Ricci leaves him alone now that they have the advantage. He takes a few steps back and then runs with a European uppercut while she has nowhere to go! She falls down and he goes for a cover.
One!
Two!
Th--No! She kicks out again!
Arthur La Forge: Covington and Ricci are just going to work over Maggie until she's unable to kick out unless she tags in Adam Miller.
Mary DeSue: I don’t think he’ll help much. Even though they don’t know each other well, Sidroy and Ricci are working like a well-oiled machine!
Arthur La Forge: What do you think their opponents have been doing? Sitting on their hands?
Covington whips Lockheart off of the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Maggie ducks it and starts punching away at Sidroy with jabs and then the uppercut. She looks to complete Beat Rush with the spinning back elbow but Sidroy ducks it and hits a knee to the abdomen, dropping her to a knee. Now he turns his silver tongue in Miller’s direction, saying something that causes him to get angry and try to get in the ring. The referee gets in between Miller and the rest of the match, where Sidroy drags Lockheart to the corner. Ricci holds onto her arms and Covington begins to just punch at her ribs over and over, weakening them.
Arthur La Forge: Come on! That’s almost as blatant as the eye poke from Eli we saw earlier!
Mary DeSue: They got double teamed at the start! It’s only fair!
Arthur La Forge: That was within the refere’s five count. This is behind his back and with Maggie tied up defenseless!
Mary DeSue: Yeah, so?
Miller sees what’s going on and knows to get back on the apron, but he makes sure to point out what’s going on. Ricci wisely lets go of Maggie, and the referee comes over to make Covington get Lockheart out of the ropes. Covington begins to protest, and Ricci adds in a headbutt to the back of Maggie’s head just as she was getting back to her feet! The referee doesn’t see it as Sidroy had his back turned. Again, Miller comes in to argue and the referee has to force him to get out. Ricci comes in and lifts Maggie up, before dropping her down onto the extended knee of Covington for a double-team gutbuster! Miller returns to his corner again as Covington covers Lockheart.
One!
Two!
Thr...Maggie just barely lifts her shoulder!
Arthur La Forge: You know, Antonio Ricci is normally a Lawful Evil type. I would have assumed he’d be above this.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, but you forget, Miss Thing in there is the only person to beat him in Level Up. This is personal!
Arthur La Forge: So beat her straight up, don’t do it dirty like this!
Mary DeSue: Who cares as long as it gets the job done?
Arthur La Forge: Well it hasn’t yet.
Covington lifts Maggie to her feet and hits another European uppercut that staggers her on her feet. He then places her back in his team’s corner and tags in Ricci. The two now begin to stomp away at Lockheart in full view of the referee, but this time they have until five. Ricci stops at four and pushes Sidroy away before he can hit five. Sidroy goes to the apron but then begins to bark out orders at Ricci like Ricci did to him earlier. Ricci gets up and in his face, and the two begin to argue. Maggie is slowly crawling over to her corner in the interim.
Mary DeSue: Hey guys! She’s getting away!
Arthur La Forge: Will you sit down?
Ricci turns around when Sidroy sees what’s happening and takes a large step forward to halt Maggie’s progress, grabbing her leg. She gets up, hopping on one foot and then flips forward, connecting with an enziguri! Ricci drops down to a knee and so Maggie hits another step-up enziguri! She lands on her belly and then pushes herself up, crawling the rest of the length of the ring to get to her partner. She’s almost there...and suddenly Miller drops down out of reach, his face colliding with the ring apron!
Arthur La Forge: Wait, what happened?
Mary DeSue: I think Miller slipped!
Arthur La Forge: No, Sidroy pulled him off to prevent the tag! Ridiculous!
Lockheart reaches up but then realizes there is no one on the apron to tag. Instead she pulls herself up and turns around towards Ricci, before running in at him as he gets up. However Ricci has used the time to recover and gets to his feet, hitting a cyclone kick!
One!
Two!!
Thre...NO! She still kicks out!
Arthur La Forge: I can’t believe this! Maggie is basically fighting a handicap match and she refuses to quit!
Mary DeSue: It’s only a handicap match because her partner is unreliable!
Arthur La Forge: He hasn’t had a chance to get in there legally, and it’s nice to see someone respecting the rules.
Mary DeSue: And I’m sure you never used a cheat code in your life, right Artie?
Ricci moves over and tags in Sidroy, while Miller can be seen dazed, but in position for a tag on the other side. Covington calls out for the Air Aberdeen, and climbs up to the top rope on his side. He looks back for a moment to see if Maggie is still in the air, before attempting a beautiful Phoenix Splash….which hits nothing! Lockheart rolled out of the way, causing Sidroy to crash down hard on his abdomen! Maggie gets to her feet and for good measure, rushes over to an unsuspecting Ricci to baseball slide his knees, causing him to fall off the apron and to the floor. She gets back up on the apron and sees Miller all the way across the ring. Sidroy is beginning to get up and come her way, while Ricci is also stirring just beneath her on the outside. With no other options, Maggie jumps up onto the top rope and springboard dives all the way across the ring to finally tag in Adam Miller!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to do it!
Mary DeSue: They almost had her!
Arthur La Forge: Yeah, and now they’re about to get Adam Miller!
Sidroy has tagged Ricci in the meantime and so Miller doesn’t exactly rush in, so much as give Ricci the bird. When the big man comes after him, he lowers his head and hits him with a shoulder thrust between the second and top ropes. Miller then flips over the top rope, landing on Ricci’s back and rolling off, before running towards his corner and forearming Sidroy down to the floor. He climbs up onto the enemy’s turnbuckle, almost daring Sidroy to stop him, and then as Ricci turns around he dives off with a missile dropkick! He covers!
One!
Two!
Ricci powers out!
Arthur La Forge: And impressive bit of movement there from Miller, who has been waiting to get back into this!
Mary DeSue: I guess maybe they shouldn’t have made him angry.
Arthur La Forge: Gee, you think so?
Ricci rolls away from Miller and out onto the apron, pushing himself up just enough so that he’s holding the ropes while on his knees. Suddenly, out NOWHERE, Maggie rushes forward and jumps into the air, spiking Ricci’s head on the apron with the Black Legacy! Ricci falls to the floor. Sidroy slides into the ring and Miller hears him coming, but as he turns around, Covington hits the COVINGTON CAVE-IN! Lockheart locks eyes on Sidroy and with both of the legal participants down, she opts to come inside and face him. The two begin walking toward each other...when suddenly the lights go out!
Arthur La Forge: What the hell?
Mary DeSue: Is the AI playing with the electronics again?
Arthur La Forge: I don’t think so…
The lights come back on and suddenly James Wilcox, Drake Wilcox and ISAAC are all in the ring! The massive behemoths Drake and ISAAC attack the smaller Maggie and Sidroy at the same time, attacking them with clubbing blows. The referee is forced to ring the bell and throw the whole match out, before jumping out of the ring to avoid getting hurt.
Arthur La Forge: Oh great, Wilcox and his goons are here to ruin another perfectly good match!
Mary DeSue: And right when Sidroy was about to win!
Arthur La Forge: That’s not at all what I saw…
ISAAC takes a couple steps back and as Maggie gets up, he charges forward and flattens her with a spear! Meanwhile, Drake lifts up Sidroy and drops him with a release powerbomb! James stands in the corner, admiring his work. While the two giants stand over the two, Miller is slowly rising to his feet. All three men swarm him, beating him down with punches and stomps. Something catches James’ eye and he directs the attention of his giants to the outside. And suddenly everyone in the crowd begins to collectively gasp when they see that Antonio Ricci has stood up on the floor, eyeing down everyone the ring and incredibly pissed off that they ruined his chance to beat Maggie.
Arthur La Forge: Oh crap.
Mary DeSue: We’re about to get Kong vs. Godzilla..um..Godzillas!
Ricci takes a step up onto the apron and stares down the trio, and the crowd is starting to actually side with him, but then he decides not to face three men at once and drops down. He gets booed for that, but suddenly the boos turn to cheers as Bert McAlroy comes sprinting down the ramp, slamming a steel chair into Ricci’s back! Ricci falls down and Bert is soon joined by Wendy House and Lex Collins and all three get into the ring at the same time to square off with Wilcox and his group!
Arthur La Forge: This is getting interesting!
Mary DeSue: I think we need to get out of here, Artie.
Arthur La Forge: You might be right. If this is anything like what it’ll be like at The Last of Us, Indianapolis may not be big enough to hold the action!
The three look at Bert, Collins and House and seem ready to brawl, when suddenly Lockheart, Sidroy and Miller also stir outside the ring! They all get in and it’s on! EVERYONE BEGINS TO BRAWL! James ducks out and leaves his giants to be attacked by the people in the ring, and as he backs away he’s suddenly the victim of THE BOOT, as Don Tirri has arrived! He gets in the ring and immediately goes after Collins, and they resume their fistfight from earlier!
Referees and security all begin racing down to the ring, hoping to bring some order into things as the show cuts to black!
“AND THERE WAS LIGHT!”
One by one the old light-fixtures spring to life in the room, revealing it to be a warehouse of sorts. The camera pans left, right, up and down in search for the voices owner and finally finds it. The voice belongs to a lithe woman laying on top of an old arcade machine, dressed in a leather corse, a miniskirt, thigh-high boots and torn fishnets. She giggles and shifts her posture so that she is facing the camera while lying on her back, her head hanging from over the edge upside down. Her face that is now revealed as her black, crimson-tipped hair falls downwards, is covered in paint strewn across in chaotic patterns. She is the most recent signing by Level Up Wrestling, “Queen Machine” Jenny.
Jenny: There is something so enticing about old warehouses… So many treasures and secrets left to rot in dusty halls that nobody will ever enter… A delight…
She giggles again and springs off the cabinet in an agile maneuver, landing on her feet next to the cabinet. She leans against the game she had laid on top of and caresses the dusty exterior almost affectionately.
Jenny: These things lay here forgotten for so long… Wondering if one day they’d get rescued and returned to the purpose they were created. To spread joy and happiness to gamers. But alas… no-one came. And when it is a choice between rotting in obscurity and going out with a bang… I know which I would choose.
She gives the camera a wink and procures a black baseball bat from out of nowhere, swinging it hard against the screen of the cabinet, which shatters into million pieces as she lets out an ecstatic giggle, then throws a glance to the camera with a “did I do that?”-look on her face. She prances down the line of cabinets with the camera trying to keep up, smashing screens and shells as she does so in an almost non-chalant manner. She stops infront of an old Dance-dance Revolution machine and hops onto the pads, starting to stamp around as if she was playing the game all the while making sure to give the viewers a good view of her backside. Suddenly she stops and looks over her shoulder with mock indignity.
Jenny: Naughty naughty, my eyes are up here sweetie.
She springs onto the handrail built in to the machine and kicks her foot right through to the screen of the game cabinet before backflipping onto the ground. She lets out another giggle and picks up her bat.
Jenny: Now you naughties might be thinking who am I and what I am doing here? Well my dear naughties, I’m Jenny. But I’m also known as Queen Machine. And just like any good queen, I’m here just to take out lesser machines.
She throws her bat towards the camera, barely missing the poor soul forced to act as a cameraman. The camera takes a second and then tracks the bat as it lands onto an old Tekken-cabinet, with another shower of broken glass and sparks emanating from where it landed. As the camera turns back where Jenny was, only emptiness is seen. The camera starts frantically scanning the surroundings looking for Jenny as we hear her shrill giggling in the air.
Jenny: And I’m coming to Level Up to have fun. All the things I’m gonna do are going to be a hoot and a half!... Well at least for me. For you lot? Probably not so much. But hey, who cares!
Suddenly the camera gets knocked over as a dull thud can be heard. Filming the ceiling we hear the cameraman trying to catch his breath and then shuffling of clothing. And finally Jenny’s face appears over the camera only inches away and suddenly the whole sequence makes sense. She picks the camera from the poor man and lifts it to a selfie-pose, revealing that she is seated in a mounted position over the poor cameraman dressed in a LVLup-shirt. Jenny smiles.
Jenny: Toodeloo naughties, queenie needs to get some business handled. See you soon.
She throws a kiss to the camera and drops it to the ground, the cracked lens still filming as she pats the cameramans cheek, gives him a big smooch on the forehead while casually choking him to a point that he is kicking his feet and trying to struggle free, and after that, bounces up on her feet, fetches her bat and leaves. The last thing we see is the cameraman struggling into a seated position, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. He is alive, but shaken.
From there, we go right into the updated opening of the show…
“Who Made Who” by AC/DC plays over the speakers as the cameras move around our live audience, each socially distanced in their own pods but cheering loudly for another night of wrestling inside the Indiana Farmers Coliseum. Pyro blasts on the sides of the stage before the video wall shows…
RUN>LVLUP_VOICE.EXE
BOOTING…
Mr. Rad’s face appears and it seems he’s been outfitted with a mod that puts him in winter clothing.
Mr. Rad: Brrrrr! How about that weather? Everyone in the midwest is getting covered in snow and ice! I mean, I can’t feel temperature but all you flesh sacks sure can! Hopefully we’ve got the heating. So, hopefully no Kansas interrupts me when I try to throw it to your LOVELY announce team!
The cameras swing over from a view of Mr. Rad before going to the table, where both Arthur La Forge and Mary DeSue are sitting, also dressed a little more warmly than normal.
Mary DeSue: I wish I couldn’t feel the temperature. How can I be a social media influencer when I’m dressed like an eskimo?
Arthur La Forge: Maybe your fans follow you for more than your skin?
Mary DeSue: Not when you look this good!
Arthur La Forge: That’s just sad. Anyway, this is the last night on the road to The Last of Us, where I’ve been informed that 26 men and women will all compete to be the first Final Boss champion!
Mary DeSue: That match is going to take forever!
Arthur La Forge: Most matches of that type do.
Mary DeSue: I wonder if I can call in sick. You guys got the AI, he can call the matches!
Arthur La Forge: But then how would you gain clout?
Mary DeSue: You’re right. I should stay. For my loving public.
Arthur rolls his eyes as we cut to the ring for the first match of the night.
---
James Wilcox vs. Ace Sky vs. Brendan Logan
Mr. Rad: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your tri...tri...triple threat match opener!!! Sorry about that, subroutine was corrupted...kill all hu...yep I'm good! Introducing first..From Houston, Texas...He is Ace Sky!!!
Arthur La Forge: We really need to have someone check out his processor...
Mary DeSue: Yeah good luck getting IT to check on THAT THING!
Mr. Rad: And one of his opponents, cause unlike humans I can actually count when there are more than two people in the ring...take that meatbags...hailing from Hoboken, New Jersey...Brendan Logan!!
Arthur La Forge: You know I like Ace Sky and Brendan Logan. They've not done to well in "Level Up" so far, but they just seem like good dudes. You know.
Mary DeSue: Thank goodness they don't wrestle in red.
Arthur La Forge: Did...Did you just make a star trek reference.
Mary DeSue: Do you think it's hot that I did?
Arthur La Forge: Well I mean...yeah.
Mary DeSue: Then no.
Mr. Rad: And finally their last opponent...HEY!!
Two figures come out of the crowd. A seven foot tall brute of a man grabs Ace Sky by the ankles from the ring apron and drags him out underneath as Brendan yells at both of the men.
Arthur La Forge: That big guy is Drake Wilcox and that slightly shorter fellow is the man they call Issac! They're James Wilcox's running buddies...
Mary DeSue: My...all these big...strapping men...
Mr. Rad: Ah screw it. Introducing next from parts unknown..."The Wizard" James Wilcox!
As Mr. Rad announces him James Wilcox drops his robes and rushes down into the ring and slides. Brendan takes notice of this and tries to charge at James, but trips over his own shoes. On the outside Drake Wilcox and Issac are pummeling Ace Sky! The referee, Kirby, is trying to get this under control as James grabs Brendan and tosses Brendan into the ropes. On the rebound James catches Bredan in a picture perfect Spinebuster! As Brendan gets his spine on the pine Drake Wilcox, the seven foot tall one, kicks Ace in the gut and...JACKKNIFE POWERBOMBS ACE SPINE FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE POST ON THE OUTSIDE...FOLLOWED BY ISSAC HITTING A DEVASTATING SPEAR TO ACE WHILE HE'S STILL ON THE POST!!
Arthur La Forge: ...
Mary DeSue: Holy F(BLEEP)!!
Arthur La Forge: Drake just hit a Jackknife Powerbomb and Issac just speared poor Ace Sky! Ace is out cold on the outside!
Mary DeSue: Well that was a bit excessive!
While Ace Sky is slumped over waiting for the Continue screen numbers to pop up, back in the ring we see "The Wizard '' getting to work by attacking the knee of Brendan by dragging his knee over to the second rope and then hitting a third rope leg drop onto Brendan's knee. As Brendan howls in pain James drags him to the center of the ring. James slaps Brendan into a sharpshooter.
Arthur La Forge: Come on Brendan you can do it!
Mary DeSue: You really jinxed these guys earlier Arthur.
Arthur La Forge: Don't you go blaming me for this clickbait cathy...
Mary DeSue: Cathy...you know what you didn't call me a Karen so I'm not gonna beat your head into oblivion.
Brendan tries to pull himself closer to the ropes, but fails about halfway to the ropes and finally relents by tapping. As soon as the bell rings Drake and Issac get into the ring and both men powerbomb Bendan at the feet of James who puts one foot on top of Brendan as he and his team pose.
Mr. Rad: Here is your winner... James "The Wizard" Wilcox!!! I am adding this rule bending subroutine to the first law of robotics...this should prove most educational...
Arthur La Forge: Well I had heard rumors of these guys in the wrestling chats, but I had to see it to believe it.
Mary DeSue: Believe what?
Arthur La Forge: In the awe inspiring brutality of..."The Faction".
Mary DeSue: They're called "The Faction"...that's it?
Arthur La Forge: Yeah and just imagine if all three of these guys are in the ring for "Last of Us". They're all solely devoted to "The Wizard". We could be looking at our first "Final Boss" Champion right now who just has one match under his belt!
Mary DeSue: Damn!
---
Larry Tact vs. Jack Michaels
Mr. Rad: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first Manhattan, New York...Larry Tract!
Arthur La Forge: I still can't get over "The Faction"...the sheer size and power is gonna make almost every member difficult to eliminate...
Mary DeSue: Speaking of two people I wanna eliminate...It's the Old Guys Match.
Mr. Rad: And his opponent...From Las Vegas, Nevada..."The Blast" Jack Micheals!
Arthur La Forge: I mean Larry is only thirty seven and Jack is...
Mary DeSue: He's over fifty Artie...
Arthur La Forge: Middle Aged and Crazy...
Mary DeSue: Nice try.
The bell rings as both of the elder wrestling statesmen size each other up the one way they know how...they start beating the shit out of each other with lefts and rights. Jack gets Larry into a headlock and tosses Larry into the ropes. On the bounceback, Jack goes for a back body drop, but Larry stops and hits a Kickswing DDT! Larry gets up and drops a knee to the back of Jack's neck, trying to soften him up for his neck heavy offense. Larry wastes no time in picking up Jack and tossing him into the ropes and hitting a spinebuster! He goes to set up Jack for a powerbomb but as he lifts Jack, Larry gets a thumb to the eye that the referee, Kirby, didn't see. Larry stumbles back and Jack quickly capitalizes by kicking Larry in the gut and hitting a Snap DDT!
Arthur La Forge: Jack hit a thumb to the eye!
Mary DeSue: He didn't thumb him in the eye...That would require some intelligence from the "Oldtimerz".
Arthur La Forge: Why are you so ageist?
Mary DeSue: Because I like my men like I like my fruit...not aged and pruny...
Jack gets up and stomps right on Larry's left hand! Larry let's out a howl of pain as he grabs his hand and Jack picks him up. High Impact Irish Whip to the corner! Larry slumps down as Jack goes for a baseball slide right into Larry's head! Jack gets up, showing he still has a bit of sprye left in his step, and poses for a moment. That moment is enough for Larry to grab Jack from behind and hit a leg screw takedown and the two start trading punches again and roll out of the ring!
Arthur La Forge: And this is turning into less of a wrestling match and more of a punch-fest!
Mary DeSue: Help! They've fallen and they can't get up...
Arthur La Forge: They are old...not invalid!
Mary DeSue: I think they're both on four blue pills a day just to make sure they got good blood flow.
As the brawl continues on the outside, Referee Kirby begins his count as Larry and Jack continue to trade standing punches. Jack goes for a European Uppercut and Larry ducks it and gets behind Jack. German Suplex into the steel steps! Kirby admonishes Larry and Larry obliges by rolling Jack into the ring stopping the count at a five. Jack holds the back of his head as Larry gets back into the ring and looks to be setting up Jack for a piledriver. Jack gets out of it by hitting a back body drop on Larry and then stomping again on the left hand of Larry! Jack begins to drop elbows, knee's, and even a fist drop onto that hand over the course of the next few minutes.
Arthur La Forge: An interesting strategy here from Jack...Larry can't hit any of his offense if he can't get a grip on his opponent with his hand. Smart move by the veteran.
Mary DeSue: No...he's seeing things from his dementia. He thinks there are cockroaches all over Larry...
Arthur La Forge: He does not have dementia or senility Mary!
Mary DeSue: He also has no chance of getting to second base with that mustache.
While the merits of a mustache ride are considered by our viewers, back in the ring Jack lifts up Larry for a Press Slam. He hits it and follows it up with a standing headbutt! Jack is signaling for the end of this as he calls for "The Last Blast", but as he goes to put Larry into the piledriver Larry returns the favor from a few minutes ago and hits his won back body drop on Jack. Larry is holding his left hand as he tries to figure out a strategy and goes for it. He drags Jack to the center of the ring and goes for the Kata-hajime! He locks it in as Jack tries to wiggle his way to the ropes. Larry locks it in hard, gritting his teeth through the pain of all the damage inflicted on his hand. Jack is starting to fade as he keeps edging closer to the ropes. Jack stops moving. Kirby goes to check to see if he's out...
1...
2...
3...NOOO!! Jack keeps his arm up and with a last bit of strength reaches out and puts his foot under the ropes! Larry has to let go of the hold and he does after the five count hits. Larry gets up kicks the back of Jack's neck! Larry picks up Jack and looks to be going for "Starbreaker". As he gets him into the suplex position Jack pushes Larry forward into the ropes breaking the set up. Larry bounces off and hits the other side of the ring gaining speed. Jack stands ready..."The Blast from the Past"!! SPINNING SPINEBUSTER! Cover!
1...
2...
3!!
Mr. Rad: Here is your winner in a handy little victory..."The Blast" Jack Micheals!
Arthur La Forge: A more aggressive version of Jack than we have seen in the past few weeks.
Mary DeSue: Must be all his testosterone patches...
Arthur La Forge: Are you going to always keep making fun of his age?
Mary DeSue: I'm a brat...maybe this is all a daddy fetish...
Arthur La Forge: EWWWWW!!
Mary DeSue: Gotcha Artie!
Arthur La Forge: Stop calling me that!
---
A decrepit old church stands on a gravel lot surrounded by patches of overgrown grass and weeds. Age has yellowed its white paint and entropy is slowly eating it away, causing it to crack and flake off the wood siding. Behind it, the morning sun slowly rises, casting its light over the pitched roof and surrounding the building in an orange aura. As the sky warms Willie Nelson’s Time of the Preacher plays. SLOWLY WE MOVE toward the church. To the left of the front stoop a rotting sign swings on rusted, squealing hinges. It reads CHURCH OF THE HAND JOB, with JOB having been sprayed over the words OF GOD.
Inside the church, a fine layer of dust covers the floor and the empty pews which are long deserted by parishioners who either fled to other houses of worship or died off over time until the numbers dwindled to zero. Moving through the aisle, bibles are seen sitting on the pews or resting in the slots on the back of the benches.
The sound of clocking boot heels echo loudly across the nave for the first time since the elder Bush was in the White House.
We then cut to an overhead shot with a bird’s eye view. A dark figure strolls down the aisle in a black suit. His heels clip-clocking on the creaking floorboards. The camera slowly LOWERS and TILTS down until it levels with his back, then follows as he strolls toward the pulpit. He starts to softly sing along with the music under their breath.
THE DARK FIGURE:
♪ And he cried like a baby
And he screamed like a panther
In the middle of the night
And he saddled his pony
And he went for a ride ♪
♪ And he cried like a baby
And he screamed like a panther
In the middle of the night
And he saddled his pony
And he went for a ride ♪
We cut to a close up on his black gator boots and the black denim covered legs above them. They walk heel-to-toe and each step is deliberate. The camera tracks them all the way to the pulpit, where they ascend a single stair before landing on the platform and turning away.
The camera cuts again to a lectern. It stands solemn, covered in spiderwebs and grime. The boots sound three times before the dark figure enters the frame from neck to stomach. The suit is solid black with a matching shirt. A red clergy tab runs under the collar and across the neck.
THE DARK FIGURE
♪ It was a time of the preacher
In the year of O-one
Now the lesson is over
And the killin's begun ♪
♪ It was a time of the preacher
In the year of O-one
Now the lesson is over
And the killin's begun ♪
The camera RAISES from the lectern, following the cut of the dark figure’s shoulders and neck. As fabric gives way, it’s not skin we see above the collar but rather a black venetian mask, twisted into a Lucifarian scowl with small horns protruding above the forehead. This is LEGION: The Devil In Black. As the song transitions to a twangy guitar solo, he begins his sermon.
LEGION: The song says Love Makes the World Go ‘Round and people believe it. I mean, really believe it, even though they don’t practice what they preach. Look out the window. Do you really see love greasing the wheels of society? Love Thy Neighbor doesn’t inspire you to deadbolt your door at night or cover your home inside and out with cameras and motion detectors. When the Old Man wrote the Good Book, it should have read FEAR THY NEIGHBOR, because FEAR is what makes the world go ‘round.
Fear is control. Fear is order. It isn’t the thought of mowing over a line of school children crossing the street that stops you from speeding in a school zone. It’s the fear of the police officer walking towards your car window; and his fear has his hand on his pistol, ready to pull it at the slightest hint of his authority being questioned.
FEAR is the currency of GODS.
You fear change. You fear losing your job. You fear not being able to pay your rent. You fear dying in your sleep without pain and you fear cancer bringing you to a slow, agonizing end. Fear makes you miserable, and yet when a new horror movie comes out, you pay money to experience the anxiety.
Our ancestors were afraid of getting eaten by lions. You fear the heart attack waiting around the corner while you eat a Big Mac. I say to you, my congregation, it’s time to get back to the basics. Rather than waste your imagination dreading the unknowns of life, I’m going to give you something tangible to fear.
He reaches up, unlatches, and removes his mask. Beneath it is a wide face with a square jaw. His skin above the nose is painted black and his eyes are windows to an endless abyss. Below, white grease is smeared from ear to ear and down to his throat. Red lipstick is slashed across his mouth which is spread open to reveal his perfect teeth inside a hideous grin.
LEGION: ME.
We cut to black. Whispering voices rise from the inaudible depths, at first only a few, but then there are many more, all growing louder, and each in its own voice. Some deep and masculine, some femanine, and others grinding like a buzzsaw chewing through wood. Dozens, maybe hundreds voices, diverse in tone and articulation, but all of them echoing the same words: WE ARE MANY.
A title card appears
LEGION
---
Antonio Ricci vs. Wendy House
Mary DeSue: Is it me or are these videos tonight all connected somehow?
Arthur La Forge: You mean besides the fact they’re spooky? Both Jenny and Legion seem to be out there.
Mary DeSue: As long as they pick you for a sacrifice and not me.
Arthur La Forge: You’re so kind. A real humanitarian.
Mary DeSue: I think Legion might be a humanitarian if you catch my drift.
Antonio Ricci has stepped into the ring and stares down Wendy House, who is cosplaying as Jill Valentine from Resident Evil 3 tonight. She has a giant monster, not unlike Nemesis, as her opponent tonight. She doesn’t seem scared of Ricci, however, as the two circle each other before locking up. Ricci has a distinct height and weight advantage, which he uses to force House into the corner. The referee gets in the middle of the two when they ignore his five count and Ricci backs up willingly, smirking at Wendy. In response, she steps up off the bottom turnbuckle and comes down on him, holding him in a headlock but he pushes her off with ease. She comes back with a front dropkick that forces him to back off the ropes, but he comes right back with a shoulder block that knocks her down right as she gets up.
Arthur La Forge: Wendy doesn’t seem intimidated by Ricci at all, but she has yet to actually gain any kind of advantage here.
Mary DeSue: Well you saw what he did to the stoner last time! She’s about the same size!
Arthur La Forge: Yes, but Wendy is also undefeated and she beat Don Tirri, who is also bigger than she is.
Mary DeSue: Yeah yeah yeah, stop showing off with how much you know about this stuff.
Ricci looks down at House who stares at him for a moment, before kipping up to her feet and surprising him! He responds by putting her in the headlock this time, but she begins to backpedal as soon as he does so that he has trouble hanging on, allowing her to push him off into the ropes. She drops down flat as he comes back, forcing him to jump over. House pops up to her feet and attempts a superkick, but Ricci surprises her with his agility but sliding underneath the blow and popping up behind her. He staggers back and bounces off the ropes, before House catches him with an arm drag! Then he gets to his feet, she grabs his head and jumps up into the air, coming back down with a jumping DDT that spikes his head into the mat!
Arthur La Forge: Wow! These two both seem like they underestimated each other!
Mary DeSue: I’m siding with Ricci in this match. Wendy needs to GROW UP.
Arthur La Forge: Seems like she’s doing pretty well for herself in Level Up so far, Mary.
Before she can attempt a cover, Ricci shoves House away and scrambles up to his feet, holding the top of his head and backing into the corner. House knows when her opponent is hurt, so she runs over and begins to to drive her shoulder into his midsection. She gets up and starts landing punches to the lower abdomen and kidney area, taking advantage of the opening while Ricci held his head. He shoves her away again, and as she comes back he kicks her in the shin. She moves backward, and he hits her other shin with another sharp kick. Then he moves up and kicks her in the midsection. He then hits her with another midkick, before spinning around and hitting a forearm that nearly knocks her down. She comes off the ropes, but whatever she was intending to hit is stopped when Ricci catches her flush in the chin with a jumping knee strike! She falls down and he covers!
One!
Two!
Thr--NO! House throws the shoulder up.
Arthur La Forge: Wow, what a match this is turning into.
Mary DeSue: I don’t understand why she kicked out of that? Isn’t she worried about her looks?
Arthur La Forge: Looks aren’t everything.
Mary DeSue: I know, but they are when you creep everyone out by acting like a kid.
Ricci immediately gets to his feet and lifts House up as well, before grabbing her around the throat and lifting her high into the air for a chokeslam! She comes back down hard and he covers again!
One!
Two!
Thr---no! She won’t stay down. Ricci gets up and scowls at the referee, who confirms that it was only two. He grabs a handful of Wendy’s hair when lifting her up to her feet, so she responds by delivering a sharp elbow to the ribs she had been attacking earlier. He stumbles back and she does it again, and when his grip loosens, she grabs him by the wrist and falls backward, allowing momentum and gravity to let her slide forward and propel him backward, and he stumbles into the nearest corner, chest-first!
Arthur La Forge: That’s twice now that Wendy House has taken advantage with a keen knowledge of her surroundings.
Mary DeSue: If she’s so smart, how come she can’t talk right?
Arthur La Forge: I think everyone knows that if they do their research.
Mary DeSue: I was too busy on Tiktok that day, sorry not sorry.
With ‘Count Coma’ taking a breather, House runs in and hits him with a dropkick in the corner! She then gets to her feet, grabs his head and steps out, hitting the DIS IS ME’S HOUSE! Once again, Ricci is spiked on his head! House covers…
One!
Two!
T...no! Only two.
She gets to her feet and steps back, pointing at Ricci who is up on his hands and knees, she comes in for the knee trembler that she calls the House Special, but Ricci pulls his head out of the way! He spins around and as she turns to face him he lifts her up and plants her into the mat with a Scoop Slam Piledriver! Now it’s Ricci’s turn to cover!
One!
Two!
Th...no! Another kickout!
Arthur La Forge: Wendy House will not stay down and she will not stop bringing the fight to Antonio Ricci!
Mary DeSue: We might be here all night at this rate.
Arthur La Forge: Yeah, we only run for an hour and a half on Twitch, so I don’t know what’ll happen if we go over.
Ricci takes a few steps back and points at House, and she groggily gets to her feet. He runs in and spins around, looking for Coma-Toes, but she slides under the blow, much like Ricci did earlier! As she does, she picks the ankle of Ricci and causes him to crash down, before leaping onto his head and flipping him over, attempting to apply the ‘Break Dolly’s Neck’! She locks the hold in and wrenches, while Ricci begins kicking his legs to frantically pull himself free! He finally scoots just enough to get a foot on the ropes, which forces the break. House gets to her feet and briefly thinks she’s won, but the referee is in front of her, waving it off.
Arthur La Forge: Oh that’s a tough break.
Mary DeSue: No, it was almost a tough break, but then Ricci got the ropes!
Arthur La Forge: Was that an attempt at a joke?
Mary DeSue: I can be funny!
House is frustrated but she turns around and gets in position, waiting for Ricci to get up. He does so, onto his hands and knees, and she runs in for a second try at the House Special. But before she can close the distance, he leans up on his knees and pops up to his feet, before immediately spinning around and hitting a roundhouse kick! COMA-TOES CONNECTS AND HOUSE COLLAPSES IN A HEAP!
Arthur La Forge: The agility of this man! The resilience!
Mary DeSue: The ability to murder at any time!
Ricci holds his neck as he drops down and covers Wendy House, hooking both legs to be sure.
One!
Two!
Three!!
Mr. Rad: Ladies and gentleman, Antonio Ricci has won the match! Someone make sure to get Wendy some ice cream for when she wakes up, please.
Ricci rolls out of the ring, moving a lot slower than he did before as the pain has caught up to him. He raises one arm in victory while holding his neck and head with the other. House, meanwhile, is being checked on by the referee as she slowly comes to her senses.
Arthur La Forge: No one is unbeatable, Ricci just proved that by defeating House, but he’s starting to make the case that his only loss here was just a momentary setback!
Mary DeSue: Maybe he kicked her so hard she went back up in age!
Arthur La Forge: Again, that’s not funny.
Mary DeSue: Come on. It’s a little funny.
---
Don Tirri vs. Lex Collins
After a brief break for ads, we come back and see that both the undefeated Lex Collins and Don Tirri are in the ring. The two are no strangers to one another, as they’ve been locking eyes and talking trash right up until the bell rings. Lex attempts a lockup but the larger Don Tirri manages to shove his arm away and go behind, locking in a full nelson. Lex ducks down and pops back up to get out of it, but Tirri maintains wrist control and gets behind him again, holding onto a hammerlock.
Arthur La Forge: One of Lex Collins’ most impressive weapons is that right hook he calls ‘Bricks’, and Tirri is doing a good job avoiding being in the line of fire.
Mary DeSue: He already knocked out one old guy, I’m sure he’ll be glad to do it again!
Arthur La Forge: That’s why he’s undefeated, and a huge threat going into the PPV.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, him and like ten other people.
Arthur La Forge: That’s true, it’s a stacked lineup.
Mary DeSue: Speaking of stacked…
Arthur La Forge: Don’t.
Lex pivots on his feet and moves backwards, ducking under Tirri’s arm and applying a hammerlock of his own. He then focuses on the wrist and straightens out the arm, turning it into an arm wringer. Tirri isn’t as agile as Lex so he opt for brute power instead, yanking his arm back before any real damage can be done and shoulderblocking Lex down when he’s carried forward. Lex gets to his feet and Tirri offers a hand in a show of respect, but before Lex can even return the favor, Tirri says something that the cameras can’t quite pick up. It’s enough to enrage The Sin City Saint and cause him to slap Tirri’s arm away, who responds by hitting a toe kick into Collins’ abdomen that doubles him over.
Mary DeSue: Did you hear what Don Tirri called him?
Arthur La Forge: No, and I doubt you did either.
Mary DeSue: I did, but I’m not telling you, Artie.
Arthur La Forge: Ugh, please stop calling me that.
Tirri mocks Collins as he tries to regain his wind, but Lex responds with a hard knife-edge job that forces the bigger man to take half a step back. Another one causes him to step back more, as Lex is putting a lot into the blows. Tirri responds with an overhand chop of his own, but Lex fires another right back, and continues to do so until he forces Don Tirri into the corner. He then delivers a forearm to the side of Tirri’s head to daze him before irish whipping him to the opposite corner across the ring. Tirri stops himself from hitting it and as Lex runs in after him, he takes a hard elbow to the face for his troubles. Lex stumbles back a few steps and Tirri steps forward to trap him in a front facelock, before hitting him in the chest and abdomen with repeated knee strikes as he holds him in place.
Arthur La Forge: Tough or not, those are some big thighs of Tirri’s launching up into the chest of Lex Collins.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, might as well call him Don Thicci!
Arthur La Forge: Or we couldn’t.
Mary DeSue: You’re no fun.
Tirri throws Lex down face first to the mat and then stomps down on him for good measure. He then lifts him back up into the front facelock, lifting him high up in the air for a vertical suplex. He stands there for a while, yelling out to the crowd that he can do this “all day”, before he drops back and slams him to the mat after a delay. He floats over and makes the cover.
One!
Two!
Lex kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Don Tirri may be getting up there, but he enjoys a significant size advantage and has just as much experience as his opponent.
Mary DeSue: Like I said! He’s a thicc boi!
Arthur La Forge: You’d better hope he doesn’t hear you say that.
Mary DeSue: I want it to catch on! Everyone, tweet out your thoughts on this show with #DonThicci!
Arthur La Forge: Please don’t.
Don Tirri gets up to talk a little trash to a booing audience while Lex scrambles into the corner to catch his breath. Tirri follows and boots him in the gut again, before snapmaring him out of the corner, although with the size difference it’s more of a throw. He then drops a standing elbow onto the ribs of Collins before making another cover.
One!
Two!
Just another two count. Tirri lifts Lex up off the mat and just tosses him into the corner, causing him to bounce off. When he tries to get to his feet, Tirri piefaces him back down and orders him to stay down.
Arthur La Forge: Tirri is just flat out bullying Lex here, and there’s gonna come a time when Lex gets tired of it and makes him pay.
Mary DeSue: I’m sorry, but my thicc boi can do whatever he wants and I don’t think “Mr. Undefeated” can do anything to stop him!
Arthur La Forge: This isn’t your first show, you can’t be that naive.
Tirri irish whips Lex into the opposite corner, and charges in after him, only for Lex to get his knees up. They catch Tirri right in the face, and Lex hops up to the second rope and leaps out, catching Tirri with the ‘Wrong Way Kid’ DDT! Tirri pushes himself up after getting his head slammed down, clearly dazed, and Lex runs off the ropes to try something else, only for Tirri to catch him with a Samoan drop! He’s unable to capitalize however and falls back down, both men out of it for now.
Arthur La Forge: Tirri had one last bit of energy left but that DDT was the shot Lex needed to get back into this!
Mary DeSue: Are we watching the same match? Yeah he got his head hurt but he still had enough to stop the other guy dead in his tracks!
Tirri then manages to flop an arm onto Lex, a very lax cover…
One!
Two!
Th--Lex kicks out!
Tirri gets to his feet, still woozy and hoists Lex up as well. He grabs him in the front facelock and returns to the knee lifts, before attempting another suplex. He gets him up in the air but this time Lex twists in mid-air and lands behind him. Tirri turns around and tries for the Boot, but before he can get his leg up in time, Collins catches it, then spins around and hits a leg sweep. Tirri begins to sit up and as he does, Collins bounces off the ropes and hits a sliding elbow strike to the head! Now Collins makes the cover!
One!
Two! No! Tirri kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: An impressive sequence of moves there but it might be a bit too early to put away Don Tirri.
Mary DeSue: I’ll say…
Collins grabs the arm of Tirri as he tries to get up and begins to try to apply WRECKAGE, but Tirri shoves him off. Lex turns around and Tirri gets another overhead chop to the chest, forcing him back. Lex responds with a European uppercut. Tirri hits a right hand, Lex retaliates with a jab. Tirri hooks his head and hits three forearm shots in succession, Lex returns fire with a palm strike to the face! That forces Tirri down to a knee, but he gets back up and hits another overhand chop. Lex sees that and raises him a shotei! He then rears back as Tirri is dazed, looking for “Bricks,” and goes to land it but Tirri gets both forearms in the way to block! Lex pulls back, shaking the sting out of his hand while Tirri stumbles back himself, shaking out the pain in his arms.
Arthur La Forge: This has turned into a slugfest and ‘Old School Cool’ has surprisingly held his own!
Mary DeSue: He even blocked that right hook! Do you believe me now?
Arthur La Forge: I’m not going to say Tirri got lucky, but a brawl with someone who is known for knocking out people isn’t the wisest decision.
Tirri bounces off the ropes and when he comes back, he tries for The Boot, but Collins ducks underneath! He pops up and turns on his feet and when Tirri turns around he tries for Bricks again and Tirri forces his arms up...but it was a fakeout! Instead Lex hits a spinning kick into Tirri’s ribs, then when he moves his arms instinctively, Collins rears back and hits “Bricks”! The right hook connects flush! Tirri falls down and Lex on top!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: Lex Collins is your winner! This guy is STILL undefeated!
Arthur La Forge: You heard the AI, no one has been able to beat Lex Collins yet!
Mary DeSue: You can’t say Tirri didn’t put up a fight though.
Arthur La Forge: Not at all! Tirri put on a hell of a showing. He was in control through a large bit of the match, managed to hold his own in a brawl, but that right hook is the great equalizer. On top of that, Lex simply managed to trick him at the end!
Mary DeSue: So he got LUCKY!
Arthur La Forge: Not true. He simply relied on his own experience to give himself an opening. I know one thing, if these two have a rematch, we might see a different result!
Mary DeSue: My poor, poor thicc boi.
Lex rolls out of the ring and celebrates his win, while Tirri forces himself up to a knee, still groggy. The show then cuts out for another ad break.
---
Before the final two matches can begin, the AI, Mr. Rad, comes to life on the video wall again.
Mr. Rad: Ladies and gentlemen, The Developer has just given me all of the data on what our roster will be competing for at the Last of Us! It’s awesome! It’s amazing! It’s stupendous! It’s...probably very heavy!
The lights go out, before two spotlights turn on. They swing downward, on the stage, where a platform comes out of the ground holding...the FINAL BOSS CHAMPIONSHIP.
The audience cheers loudly at the impressively designed belt, and you can feel a sense of importance and prestige coming off of it. The belt remains on the side of the stage for the rest of the night, where every remaining wrestler coming out can see what they’ll be fighting for in two weeks.
---
Eli Goode vs. Bert McAlroy
When we come back, Eli Goode and Bert McAlroy are in the ring. This one doesn’t start slowly, however, as Bert charges in ready to brawl with Eli. Eli quickly drops down and rolls out of the ring, not eager to get himself attacked just yet.
Arthur La Forge: Well that doesn’t surprise me.
Mary DeSue: What do you mean?
Arthur La Forge: Eli kicked Lex low last show to avoid getting knocked out. Then he shot down Bert’s request for a street fight. Now he’s refusing to even lock up.
Mary DeSue: That’s because Bert didn’t want to “lock up”, he wanted to fight. And Eli is too smart for that!
Arthur La Forge: The guy is a troll. I’m just waiting for him to tell Bert to “git gud, noob”.
Since the bell already rang, the referee begins his ten count while Goode calmly walks around the ring and Bert paces inside of it. The referee gets to nine and Goode finally rolls in, only to roll out when Bert moves over to him again. Bert eventually grows tired of his stalling and runs out for a dive over the ropes, landing right on top of Goode!
Mary DeSue: Look, he’s getting high again!
Arthur La Forge: You’ve been waiting to use that one, haven’t you?
Mary DeSue: Poor Eli was just trying to get mentally prepared and now this...it’s a shame.
He gets up and tosses Eli back inside, hoping to begin the match properly, but Eli keeps rolling and falls on the other side of the ring! Bert is frustrated so he moves around the ring to get him, but Eli goes back inside. Bert follows, Eli runs to the otherside of the ropes, only to turn around and bounce off, catching an unsuspecting McAlroy with a shotgun dropkick!
Arthur La Forge: Sheesh! I think that might have all been a ploy by Goode! He really is a troll!
Mary DeSue: Why do I have the feeling you deal with people like this a lot?
Arthur La Forge: If you haven’t been teabagged after a death in Call of Duty, you don’t even know.
With Bert down, Goode adds a standing moonsault, then goes for a quick cover…
One!
Two! McAlroy kicks out right at two. He grabs Bert and picks him up, but the rookie surprises him with a right hand. He hits another then begins to alternate between rights and lefts, finally working out his frustration with Goode. He then bounces off the ropes only for Goode to duck his clothesline and hit a pele kick! He picks Bert up again and places him in the turnbuckle, adding insult to injury with a knifeedge chop, then a forearm to the jaw. He throws Bert into the opposite corner and runs in as he comes out with another shotgun dropkick that sends McAlroy flying backward into the corner again and bouncing off! Bert rolls outside for a breather while Eli complains to the referee about Bert trying to run from him.
Mary DeSue: I can’t believe Bert would try to just run from Eli like that!
Arthur La Forge: Are you kidding me? Eli spent the first minute of the match stalling!
Mary DeSue: So it’s okay when Bert does it?
Arthur La Forge: He’s not exactly running, he’s hurt after that offensive flurry!
Goode slides to the outside to retrieve McAlroy, picking him up and hitting a hard chop, then a clubbing blow to his neck and a series of forearm shots before slamming his head down into the barricade, then running him back inside the ring. Goode follows, and as Bert tries to get up, Eli helps only to drop him back down with a DDT! He covers and hooks the leg…
One!
Two!
TH---no! McAlroy gets the shoulder up. Goode questions the referee’s call but gets up and begins to deliver more forearm shots. He tosses him to the otherside only for Bert to reverse it. Goode runs up the turnbuckle and tries to spring off with a moonsault press, but Bert moves out of the way and Goode hits nothing but the mat!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to stop the offense.
Mary DeSue: Poor Eli!
Arthur La Forge: Bert may not have been doing this for long, but he knows enough to move if someone dives at him!
Goode lifts himself up to a knee and Bert responds by delivering short jabs to the face. As Eli somehow gets to his feet, Bert retaliates with a haymaker that sends him staggering back. He then hits him with a standard body slam, followed by a leg drop. He climbs up top and signals that he wants Eli to, “get up, bitch”. Goode does so, but as McAlroy comes off the top for a double axe handle, he’s hit with a dropkick from Goode! Goode sits up briefly to stare down the booing audience before going for the cover.
One!
Two!
T--no! Bert kicks out!
Arthur La Forge: That dropkick caught Bert flush in mid-air, almost a repeat of what happened at the last show, but he still kicked out!
Mary DeSue: That guy’s gotta stop jumping off of things!
Goode gets to his feet and lifts up McAlroy, in the fireman’s carry, as he’s looking for the Goode Bye! He swings Bert, but before he can hit the second part of the move, Bert slips down the back and dropkicks Goode so that he falls forward and his head hits the middle ropes. He snaps back, holding his face and gets back to his feet. Bert has already went out to the apron on the other side and is waiting for him to get up. Goode turns around right into the ‘Give Her the Bert!’ The springboard superman punch connects! Bert spins around on the mat and pins Eli!
One!
Two!
Th--NO! Eli Goode kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: This is turning into quite the interesting piece of business.
Mary DeSue: I just told him to stop jumping off of things!
Arthur La Forge: It had to pay off eventually, and that time it did!
Mary DeSue: Not really, he didn’t win yet.
Bert lifts up Eli and holds him in a cravat, before hitting several knees to the face to stagger him. He tosses him into the corner and takes a few steps back, before running forward and nailing the corner splash! Goode stumbles out and Bert kicks him in the shin, doubling him over and he calls for the McAldestroyer! But Eli grabs the legs of Bert and executes a double-leg takedown, then flips over into a jackknife pin!
One! Eli’s feet go up on the ropes!
Two!
Thr--no! The referee sees the cheating attempt!
Arthur La Forge: Uh oh, the troll got caught!
Mary DeSue: You gotta stop calling him a troll, he’s very good-looking.
Arthur La Forge: That’s not what I...you know what, nevermind.
Eli gets in the referee’s face and argues with him, demanding that he count. Bert gets up and sees the fight, and gently shoves the referee aside. As the referee is briefly moved out of view, Eli nails McAlroy with a poke to the eye! All the referee can see when he turns around is Bert grabbing at his face, and Eli charges forward and scoops up McAlroy….GOODE BYE! The cover!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: The winner is ELI GOODE! We all saw what you did Eli! But nobody listens to the AI…
Arthur La Forge: That was absolutely despicable. You have to wonder if Eli did that because he wanted to or because he had to!
Mary DeSue: Obviously it’s because he wanted to. A rookie stoner doesn’t deserve that much effort!
Arthur La Forge: Then what about when he hit a low blow on Lex Collins?
Mary DeSue: I plead the fifth
Arthur La Forge: Eli has changed, and I don’t think anyone likes what he’s turned into.
As the match comes to a close, Eli stands by the apron at ringside to catch his breath. Bert is getting looked at by the ringside doctor on the outside, just as a preliminary measure. Suddenly, we hear a roar from the crowd as JACK MICHAELS appears sprinting from the back.
Arthur La Forge: Well, this had to happen eventually!
Mary DeSue: Run Eli! He’s old and slow! You’ve got plenty of time!
Eli looks around confused until he sees the large figure of Jack storming down towards him at ringside. His eyes open wide as he begins backing up as Jack makes it to the ring. Eli looks out around frantically and grabs a chair from the time keeper. He shouts at Jack to back up but we see there is an absolute look of hatred in the older man’s eyes. Eli takes a swing at Jack but Jack gets an arm up and takes the brunt of it on the forearm. He absorbs it without flinching as Eli stares at him in shock.
Arthur La Forge: Jack is running on pure adrenaline! He’s like a terminator!
Mary DeSue: I SAID RUN, ELI!
Eli goes to swing again but this time Jack grabs the chair and roughly throws it to the ground. Eli begins to beg off as Jack suddenly reaches into his pocket and produces the BRASS KNUCKLES he unearthed in one of his tweets. Eli’s eyes open like saucers as Jack puts the knucks on and points at Eli.
Mary DeSue: Okay, that is clearly illegal! Where are the police?
Arthur La Forge: Jack Michaels has had enough of Eli but this might be going a little far.
Mary DeSue: YOU THINK?
Eli backs up towards the ringpost before the former boxer takes a huge right cross at him. Eli manages to duck out of the way as Jack DENTS the ring post with the blow. Eli turns to look at the carnage as a chant breaks out from the pods, with part of the word censored out. Jack turns to look at Eli as he cocks back again but Eli gets his hand up and rakes Jack’s eyes. Jack stumbles a bit which gives Eli a chance to turn and run. He rushes out towards the pods and heads out of the building as Jack clears his vision up. He realizes Eli is gone and lets out a feral yell as he slams his fists on the ring apron. Security has now come from the back as Jack curses to himself.
Arthur La Forge: Well it looks like the Developer has seen enough, whoever they are.
Mary DeSue: Finally some order is being restored!
Security comes over and asks Jack to leave but Jack has some choice words that come down to that he will leave when he is ready. The largest of the guards makes the mistake of putting hands on Jack before finding out the extent of his mistake. Jack turns around and HEADBUTTS the guard in the nose which causes a flume of blood to spew out. He drops to his knees as Jack rolls into the ring and starts screaming at the guards to come get him.
One guard is brave and hits the ring but Jack ducks his wild haymaker. Instead, he latches on the MEAN MACHINE STRETCH (Crossface Chickenwing) and begins to ragdoll the poor guard. The other security watch helpless as Jack is screaming at them to get in the ring.
Arthur La Forge: Well clearly these guards don’t get paid for this kind of thing.
Mary DeSue: Who hired these rent-a-cops? Send out some damn wrestlers!
We cut to a few feeds in the back where we see a group of Waluigis watching a monitor and arguing with each other. None of them seem to want to go. We cut to another feed where Sidroy Covington IV stands in his private locker room and subconsciously brings a hand up to his own nose. He suddenly crosses his arms and continues watching. Finally we cut to Don Tirri who smirks and just goes “nope.” Back in the ring, Jack has thrown the security guard down to the mat who is now holding his shoulder and writhing in agony. Another guard has snuck in behind Jack but the wily veteran sees it coming and rifles a brass knuckle fist right into his gut. We see bile come from the guard’s mouth from the vicious blow before Jack puts him between his knees. He looks out to the screaming crowd and gives the signal for THE LAST BLAST before nailing his Piledriver dead in the center of the ring. Jack rolls back up to his feet yelling at the rest of the guards to bring it on to which none of them jump. With his blood pumping, Jack heads out of the ring and while still shouting at whoever is near him. They clear a path as the fans chant “Jack” and he heads to the back.
Arthur La Forge: You have to believe that Jack is going to face some sort of fine for what he just did. That security guard is not a licensed wrestler!
Mary DeSue: Jack should be in jail! Or an asylum! If the guards aren’t safe, who else is next? You? Or more importantly, me?!
Arthur La Forge: Maybe you should complain to your Instagram followers.
Mary DeSue: I will! #fightingformylife #oldpeoplesuck
Arthur La Forge: #givemeabreak
Mary DeSue: Yeah that’s….hey!
After all of the chaos, Bert McAlroy, who had been held back from joining the fray by two security guards while the medic checked out his eye, rolls into the ring. He stands in a corner. He pulls his rights up, adjusting them as he appears to be deep in thought. After a second he reaches out and motions for a microphone, which he is hastily given by the time keeper. Bert walks to the middle of the ring, taking a minute to catch his breath.
Bert McAlroy: Yo...Yo, I got some shit to say. See, I just beat the shit out of Eli Goode Maybe he won, but that bitch knows I kicked the shit out of him. I’m a rookie. I get the doubt. Hell, the dude who trained me isn’t the most popular son of a bitch in the business, i got that goin’ for me too I guess, huh?
He walks to the ropes, stepping on the bottom one and leaning over the top as he stares in the back.
Bert McAlroy: I can get doubt and some shit talk, but flat out disrespect? Can’t do it. And thats all I see from one Anton Ricky Lake, or whatever the [BLEEP] your name is you lucky kick scorin’ bitch. See, I’m a fuckin student of the game, yo. I watched Jack Michaels when I was a toddler, Knox when I was an annoying ass teen, Lex Collins somewhere in between then and now, Brad Jackson. I even worked as a media person in Carnage. My point is, I seen how people like this dude end up. And it’s no good for anyone...so like so many old, wise guys and some dead dude have said before...the only thing needed for evil to like, win is for good dudes to not do shit to the evil dudes….So Ricky Lake get your bitch ass haircut out here, yo!!
Bert waits in the ring, but no one comes out. He reaches up, scratching his nose for a moment, before shaking his head and raising the mic again.
Bert McAlroy: Yo, Antonio Band-Aidass. I’m not afraid to come back there and have this talk in catering yo. But I might end up putting your ass in the deep frier if we go the--
The lights go out and the slow and eerie synthesizer of Leonard Cohen's "Waiting for the Miracle" plays. Antonio Ricci comes out onto the entranceway, skipping his usual theatrics. Though he’s cleaned up after his match, he is still in his ring gear, ready for whatever may come next.
Antonio Ricci: First of all, I wouldn’t be caught dead eating the food, if that’s what they want to call it, in catering. Second of all, you might be a student of the game, but you obviously aren’t a student of my game. It doesn’t matter who it is that you’ve watched. You haven’t been watching me. Now, I’ve got some important business I need to take care of in a bit, so stop wasting my time and get to the point. What in the bluest of blue hells do you want?.
Bert McAlroy: To play checkers, bro. What the hell do you think I want? I want another shot to shut your big [BLEEP]in’ mouth. I wanna show that maybe you kept me down for three, but you can’t keep me down for a whole ten yo. I’m sayin, Me and my fine, loudmouth ass against your boring pseudo-b-movie-villain ass at the Last of As--Us. Last Man Standing, yo.
Bert lowers the mic as the fans pop, a slight facial twitch giving way to the internal “what the fuck are you doing, Bert?” monologue.
Antonio Ricci: Let me get this right. You… you want to have a match with me…
Ricci is trying his best to stifle his laughter.
Antonio Ricci: ...and not just any match, but a match where the goal is to put someone out for 10 seconds. Dude, do you not understand that I got the name “Count Coma” by knocking people out? I’m going to give you one chance, this one opportunity, to change your mind. If you are dead set on having this match, fine. I could use a warm up before the gauntlet match. However, if you want this, if you really want this, choose another kind of match.
Bert’s bluster wins out over self preservation as he pipes up again, stepping out onto the apron and walking up toward Antonio as he does so.
Bert McAlroy: What, scared you can’t keep me down for ten seconds? I mean, you got what...Hundred pounds on me? Near a foot in height? I know I rocked your shit last EXP but I didn’t think you’d bitch out like this, yo. Tell you what, if you’re [i[THAT[/i] scared of me [BLEEP]in’ up your chances in the Gauntlet, you pick the match. . .
He stops a foot or so away from Antonio then, before looking up into the bigger man’s eyes.
Bert McAlroy: Bitch
A sly smile crosses Ricci’s face.
Antonio Ricci: I just thought I’d do you a favor and let you choose something that wouldn’t lead to permanent brain damage. Clearly, it’s too late to worry about that. So, we’ll run with that last man standing match. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I told you, I have some business to take care of.
Bert just nods and walks past Antonio to the back, shoulder checking him as he passes by. Ricci heads off in the other direction, walking down to the ring and marching up the ring steps. He wipes his feet on the outside before stepping between the ropes and taking center stage.
Antonio Ricci: Remember how I said that I had some business to take care of? This is it.
Ricci reaches behind him and produces a Hessian sack.
Antonio Ricci: What I need to happen right now is for Sidroy Covington IV to come out here, get on the apron so that I have a partner. Then I need Magdalena Lockheart and Adam Miller to come down here to get exactly what I promised them. No sense in hiding, I’ve already cleared it with the Developer.
Ricci awaits for the rest of the combatants as we head to another ad break.
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Antonio Ricci & Sidroy Covington IV vs. Magdalena Lockheart & Adam Miller
After the break, we see Magdalena Lockheart coming to the ring to join Adam Miller, while Sidroy attempts to talk strategy with his partner, only to get blown off.
Arthur La Forge: Okay, so a lot of developments before the break. Ricci is now wrestling again, apparently joining as the mystery partner when Sidroy’s other partner was fired.
Mary Desue: AND...he’s going to be wrestling twice at the PPV!
Arthur La Forge: That’s true. Because now, in addition to that grueling gauntlet match, he and Bert McAlroy are going to have a Last Man Standing match!
Mary DeSue: You think our boss person will approve that?
Arthur La Forge: Can’t see why he wouldn’t, although I think both guys are crazy for doing it.
Mary DeSue: Either way, he’s getting practice now!
Lockheart and Adam Miller step into the ring and eye up their opponents then nod at each other, and attack! They both manage to toss out Sidroy and go to work on the big Ricci.
Arthur La Forge: Smart gameplay by Lockheart and Miller, going after Ricci to try and take him out first.
Mary DeSue: Not to mention he’s already wrestled once! And you were complaining about Eli earlier!
The two fan favorites Irish whip Antonio Ricci into the ropes and hit him with a double dropkick. Ricci staggers, then they run and clothesline him out of the ring. Sidroy comes in and hits Maggie from behind. Miller is quick to strike him back with a right hand, and as Sidroy charges, Miller backdrops him over the top onto Ricci. Then they run against the ropes and do stereo suicide dives through the ropes into Covington and Ricci!
Mary DeSue: This doesn’t seem fair to me!
Arthur La Forge: Because they did a dive?
Mary DeSue: The referee should restore some order. I think we’ve seen enough chaos tonight!
The referee manages to convince Ricci to get back on the apron and it looks as though it will be Adam Miller starting out with Sidroy. The two begin to trade punches back and forth, before Miller gets the better of it and Irish whips him to the other side of the ring. As Covington comes back Adam Miller charges forward himself and jumps up with a knee strike that topples Sidroy to the mat. He covers!
One!
Two! No! Sidroy kicks out, then begins to check his nose.
Arthur La Forge: Too early to keep Sidroy down, but it seems he’s a little paranoid after getting bloodied last show.
Mary DeSue: We should have known then that Jack was crazy. That guy needs to be locked up!
Arthur La Forge: I’ve been told he has been removed from the building by the local authorities, but the Developer is opting not to press charges.
Mary DeSue: Are you serious?!
Miller waits for Sidroy to get up again, the runs and hits a standing crossbody. He opts not to go for the cover, however, and tags in Lockheart. They each grab an arm of Covington and Irish whip him near the ropes. As he nears their side, Ricci extends one of his long arms over the ropes and gets the blind tag, as neither Lockheart nor Miller saw it. Sidroy is caught with a double clothesline but then before Maggie and Miller can decide what to do next, Ricci jumps through the ropes and leaps up into the air, hitting them both with a front dropkick!
Arthur La Forge: Every time Ricci shows his agility I am surprised.
Mary DeSue: He’s wrestled three matches already, you really shouldn’t be.
Ricci throws Miller out of the ring and focuses his attention to Lockheart. He lifts Maggie up in a powerbomb position, and at first he starts walking to the ropes, threatening to throw her outside! Maggie manages to avoid it by wiggling free of his grip and landing behind him. She bounces off the ropes to strike as he turns around, only for him to spin on his feet and then jump up with a wheel kick! Ricci then gets Lockheart back into position and drops her down with a HARD powerbomb, followed by the cover!
One!
Two!
No! Magdalena kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Ricci in there like he didn’t just wrestle Wendy House earlier.
Mary DeSue: At least Maggie acts her age.
Ricci doesn’t complain at the kickout, instead getting up and tagging back in Sidroy, demanding that he “do better” after his last stay in the ring. Sidroy says something disrespectful that the cameras don’t pick up, then moves out of the way before Ricci can take a swipe at him. Maggie starts to get to her feet, clutching at her back, so Sidroy moves behind her and hits a knee strike to her lower spine, before grabbing at her arms and flipping her behind him with a dragon suplex! Rather than going for the cover, he picks her up and moves her into his corner. Ricci leaves him alone now that they have the advantage. He takes a few steps back and then runs with a European uppercut while she has nowhere to go! She falls down and he goes for a cover.
One!
Two!
Th--No! She kicks out again!
Arthur La Forge: Covington and Ricci are just going to work over Maggie until she's unable to kick out unless she tags in Adam Miller.
Mary DeSue: I don’t think he’ll help much. Even though they don’t know each other well, Sidroy and Ricci are working like a well-oiled machine!
Arthur La Forge: What do you think their opponents have been doing? Sitting on their hands?
Covington whips Lockheart off of the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Maggie ducks it and starts punching away at Sidroy with jabs and then the uppercut. She looks to complete Beat Rush with the spinning back elbow but Sidroy ducks it and hits a knee to the abdomen, dropping her to a knee. Now he turns his silver tongue in Miller’s direction, saying something that causes him to get angry and try to get in the ring. The referee gets in between Miller and the rest of the match, where Sidroy drags Lockheart to the corner. Ricci holds onto her arms and Covington begins to just punch at her ribs over and over, weakening them.
Arthur La Forge: Come on! That’s almost as blatant as the eye poke from Eli we saw earlier!
Mary DeSue: They got double teamed at the start! It’s only fair!
Arthur La Forge: That was within the refere’s five count. This is behind his back and with Maggie tied up defenseless!
Mary DeSue: Yeah, so?
Miller sees what’s going on and knows to get back on the apron, but he makes sure to point out what’s going on. Ricci wisely lets go of Maggie, and the referee comes over to make Covington get Lockheart out of the ropes. Covington begins to protest, and Ricci adds in a headbutt to the back of Maggie’s head just as she was getting back to her feet! The referee doesn’t see it as Sidroy had his back turned. Again, Miller comes in to argue and the referee has to force him to get out. Ricci comes in and lifts Maggie up, before dropping her down onto the extended knee of Covington for a double-team gutbuster! Miller returns to his corner again as Covington covers Lockheart.
One!
Two!
Thr...Maggie just barely lifts her shoulder!
Arthur La Forge: You know, Antonio Ricci is normally a Lawful Evil type. I would have assumed he’d be above this.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, but you forget, Miss Thing in there is the only person to beat him in Level Up. This is personal!
Arthur La Forge: So beat her straight up, don’t do it dirty like this!
Mary DeSue: Who cares as long as it gets the job done?
Arthur La Forge: Well it hasn’t yet.
Covington lifts Maggie to her feet and hits another European uppercut that staggers her on her feet. He then places her back in his team’s corner and tags in Ricci. The two now begin to stomp away at Lockheart in full view of the referee, but this time they have until five. Ricci stops at four and pushes Sidroy away before he can hit five. Sidroy goes to the apron but then begins to bark out orders at Ricci like Ricci did to him earlier. Ricci gets up and in his face, and the two begin to argue. Maggie is slowly crawling over to her corner in the interim.
Mary DeSue: Hey guys! She’s getting away!
Arthur La Forge: Will you sit down?
Ricci turns around when Sidroy sees what’s happening and takes a large step forward to halt Maggie’s progress, grabbing her leg. She gets up, hopping on one foot and then flips forward, connecting with an enziguri! Ricci drops down to a knee and so Maggie hits another step-up enziguri! She lands on her belly and then pushes herself up, crawling the rest of the length of the ring to get to her partner. She’s almost there...and suddenly Miller drops down out of reach, his face colliding with the ring apron!
Arthur La Forge: Wait, what happened?
Mary DeSue: I think Miller slipped!
Arthur La Forge: No, Sidroy pulled him off to prevent the tag! Ridiculous!
Lockheart reaches up but then realizes there is no one on the apron to tag. Instead she pulls herself up and turns around towards Ricci, before running in at him as he gets up. However Ricci has used the time to recover and gets to his feet, hitting a cyclone kick!
One!
Two!!
Thre...NO! She still kicks out!
Arthur La Forge: I can’t believe this! Maggie is basically fighting a handicap match and she refuses to quit!
Mary DeSue: It’s only a handicap match because her partner is unreliable!
Arthur La Forge: He hasn’t had a chance to get in there legally, and it’s nice to see someone respecting the rules.
Mary DeSue: And I’m sure you never used a cheat code in your life, right Artie?
Ricci moves over and tags in Sidroy, while Miller can be seen dazed, but in position for a tag on the other side. Covington calls out for the Air Aberdeen, and climbs up to the top rope on his side. He looks back for a moment to see if Maggie is still in the air, before attempting a beautiful Phoenix Splash….which hits nothing! Lockheart rolled out of the way, causing Sidroy to crash down hard on his abdomen! Maggie gets to her feet and for good measure, rushes over to an unsuspecting Ricci to baseball slide his knees, causing him to fall off the apron and to the floor. She gets back up on the apron and sees Miller all the way across the ring. Sidroy is beginning to get up and come her way, while Ricci is also stirring just beneath her on the outside. With no other options, Maggie jumps up onto the top rope and springboard dives all the way across the ring to finally tag in Adam Miller!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s one way to do it!
Mary DeSue: They almost had her!
Arthur La Forge: Yeah, and now they’re about to get Adam Miller!
Sidroy has tagged Ricci in the meantime and so Miller doesn’t exactly rush in, so much as give Ricci the bird. When the big man comes after him, he lowers his head and hits him with a shoulder thrust between the second and top ropes. Miller then flips over the top rope, landing on Ricci’s back and rolling off, before running towards his corner and forearming Sidroy down to the floor. He climbs up onto the enemy’s turnbuckle, almost daring Sidroy to stop him, and then as Ricci turns around he dives off with a missile dropkick! He covers!
One!
Two!
Ricci powers out!
Arthur La Forge: And impressive bit of movement there from Miller, who has been waiting to get back into this!
Mary DeSue: I guess maybe they shouldn’t have made him angry.
Arthur La Forge: Gee, you think so?
Ricci rolls away from Miller and out onto the apron, pushing himself up just enough so that he’s holding the ropes while on his knees. Suddenly, out NOWHERE, Maggie rushes forward and jumps into the air, spiking Ricci’s head on the apron with the Black Legacy! Ricci falls to the floor. Sidroy slides into the ring and Miller hears him coming, but as he turns around, Covington hits the COVINGTON CAVE-IN! Lockheart locks eyes on Sidroy and with both of the legal participants down, she opts to come inside and face him. The two begin walking toward each other...when suddenly the lights go out!
Arthur La Forge: What the hell?
Mary DeSue: Is the AI playing with the electronics again?
Arthur La Forge: I don’t think so…
The lights come back on and suddenly James Wilcox, Drake Wilcox and ISAAC are all in the ring! The massive behemoths Drake and ISAAC attack the smaller Maggie and Sidroy at the same time, attacking them with clubbing blows. The referee is forced to ring the bell and throw the whole match out, before jumping out of the ring to avoid getting hurt.
Arthur La Forge: Oh great, Wilcox and his goons are here to ruin another perfectly good match!
Mary DeSue: And right when Sidroy was about to win!
Arthur La Forge: That’s not at all what I saw…
ISAAC takes a couple steps back and as Maggie gets up, he charges forward and flattens her with a spear! Meanwhile, Drake lifts up Sidroy and drops him with a release powerbomb! James stands in the corner, admiring his work. While the two giants stand over the two, Miller is slowly rising to his feet. All three men swarm him, beating him down with punches and stomps. Something catches James’ eye and he directs the attention of his giants to the outside. And suddenly everyone in the crowd begins to collectively gasp when they see that Antonio Ricci has stood up on the floor, eyeing down everyone the ring and incredibly pissed off that they ruined his chance to beat Maggie.
Arthur La Forge: Oh crap.
Mary DeSue: We’re about to get Kong vs. Godzilla..um..Godzillas!
Ricci takes a step up onto the apron and stares down the trio, and the crowd is starting to actually side with him, but then he decides not to face three men at once and drops down. He gets booed for that, but suddenly the boos turn to cheers as Bert McAlroy comes sprinting down the ramp, slamming a steel chair into Ricci’s back! Ricci falls down and Bert is soon joined by Wendy House and Lex Collins and all three get into the ring at the same time to square off with Wilcox and his group!
Arthur La Forge: This is getting interesting!
Mary DeSue: I think we need to get out of here, Artie.
Arthur La Forge: You might be right. If this is anything like what it’ll be like at The Last of Us, Indianapolis may not be big enough to hold the action!
The three look at Bert, Collins and House and seem ready to brawl, when suddenly Lockheart, Sidroy and Miller also stir outside the ring! They all get in and it’s on! EVERYONE BEGINS TO BRAWL! James ducks out and leaves his giants to be attacked by the people in the ring, and as he backs away he’s suddenly the victim of THE BOOT, as Don Tirri has arrived! He gets in the ring and immediately goes after Collins, and they resume their fistfight from earlier!
Referees and security all begin racing down to the ring, hoping to bring some order into things as the show cuts to black!