EXP 28 Results - July 19th, 2022 (Hoffman Estates, Illinois)

After the epic intro to EXP quits playing we cut to the outside of the Grand Sports Arena in Hoffman Estates, Illinois. We cut inside of the arena and to the RADDrone as it starts to fly around the arena showing us many signs of the fans...



The drone flies around and finally lands at the commentary table in front of Arthur La Forge and Mary DeSue. As always, Arthur La Forge is wearing his Captain N Letterman's Jacket and Mary DeSue is cosplaying Jill Valentine.

Arthur La Forge: Welcome everyone to EXP Episode Twenty Eight. Here from the Grand Sports Arena in Hoffman Estates, Illinois!

Mary DeSue: Why are we here and not in Hawaii anymore Artie?

Arthur La Forge: Because we're a touring company and "Super Adventure Island" is over Mary, and what a fall out card do we have tonight from that.

Mary DeSue: Ugh...don't remind me cause the first match is...

Arthur La Forge: A returning Bert McAlroy taking on WANK! in our opening contest! It's the former "Final Boss" taking on the leader of the "WALUIGI WORLD ORDER"!

Mary DeSue: I'm gonna shoot you I swear to God if you don't shut up about B.M.!

Arthur La Forge: ...When Cosplay gets to real folks...Moving on...After that we have Emily Simms taking on Demi Stratford in singles competition. Followed by Catalina Cortes taking on Alix Mayne!

Mary DeSue: Oh goody...pallet cleansers after Bert's s[bleep]y match.

Arthur La Forge: Then we got Jason Ryan taking on "Dollface" Sarah Wolf.

Mary DeSue: Poor Dollface. Hope she doesn't get her shoulder dislocated cause that seems to be Ryan's hobby!

Arthur La Forge: Speaking of the fallout from SAI. Stephen Stratford is gonna be taking on Amber Payne.

Mary DeSue: Why the hell did Trent clear her to wrestle?

Arthur La Forge: Well he also cleared Larry Tact because he's taking on Sloane Taylor.

Mary DeSue: See! After what happened with that "Power Title" defense Larry should get...time off...till Tri Force Heroes!

Arthur La Forge: Yeah...that's not happening. But I will tell you what is..."Final Boss" Champion Duncan Shepard is taking on Lord Raab!

Mary DeSue:...BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT!!

Arthur La Forge: Knew that would cheer you up. Also tonight kicks off two of the first round matches in the Level Up Multiplayer Tournament! First up we got the team of ISSAC and Drake Wilcox taking on "The King" Paul Montouri and "Miss" Michelle Riggs followed by Jack Sullivan and Paul Freedom taking on Peter Vaughn and Bam Miller!!

Mary DeSue: That's four really impressive tag teams in one night!

Arthur La Forge: I know and in our main event...Buster Gloves will defend his Wisdom Championship against Chelsea Skye!

Mary DeSue: What an oppurtunity for Chelsea...Let's get this show started before the zombies get here!

Arthur La Forge: What zombies?

We cut away to see Princess Waluigi starring at Mary with her butcher knife out.

Mary DeSue: There is a reason I'm packing heat tonight!

—

Bert McAlroy vs. WANK

Bert steps out of his corner, but stops to soak in the roar of the fans who are ecstatic to bare witness to his return. Wank, however, has no interest in the affair of mortals and their celebrations as he rushes Bert, driving him into the corner and working him over with rights and lefts. He shoves Bert and yells at him. Or, rathe,r WAAAAHHHS…Only for Bert to fire out of the corner with a picture perfect BONGWATER superkick that echos through the arena!!

Arthur La Forge: They heard that all the way in Chicago!

Mary DeSue: Ugh! Come on WANK! I can’t believe I’m pulling for WANK!

Arthur La Forge: (snickers)

Mary DeSue: …I can’t be mad I’m smirking to.

Bert isn’t done though as he picks WANK up and fires him into the corner. Bert charges in, leaping upon the second rope adjacent and nailing WANK with GIVE HER THE BERT! Wank is all but out on his feet as he stumbles forward, and falls face first on the mat. Bert leans in the corner, brushing his hair aside as he looks out to the audience and grins. He yells at WANK To get up, measuring him before firing off a stiff kick into his chest!

BITCH!

Kick!

BITCH!

Kick!

BITCH!

Bert backs up, the audience “Oooooohs” and Bert charges in with another BONGWATER!

BITCH!!

Bert drops down and pins WANK

Arthur La Forge: This could be over!!

Mary DeSue: Heh…Bert only lasted sixty seconds…fifty five more than he needed to be spent!

One!!

TWO…

NO!! Bert pulls WANK up by the hair, grinning into the camera as the audience pops. Bert drops WANK’s head, measuring him. As WANK Gets on his hands and knees, Bert finds the hard camera and flips it the bird before charging and…MDN!! The curbstomp!! Bert doesn’t go for the pin though, instead pulling WANK up and nailing him with McAldestroyer 3.0! He locks in the Cattle Mutilation and WANK instant begins tapping feverishly!!

DING! DING! DING!

Mr. Rad: Here is your winner…Bert McAlroy!!!!

Arthur La Forge: Well that’s a new finish!

Mary DeSue: Same old tool just a new trick…

Bert releases the hold, standing up and raising his arm up as the audience continues showering him with lov. Suddenly though, they go up an octave as a masked man hops the guardrail. Bert doesn’t see him until its too late, turning around and getting nailed across the face with a tire iron! Bert crumple as the masked man stands, staring for a moment. He goes to raise the tire iron to Jason Todd the hell out of Bert but security rushes the ring and the masked man takes off!

Arthur La Forge: Who was that guy?

Mary DeSue: Who cares…He made up for SAI when that f[bleep]er came back!

—

Emily Simms vs. Demi Stratford

Demi confers with Stephen who stands in her corner before looking back at Emily. Emily bounces on the balls of her feet, checking her tape before the two meet in the middle of the ring. They circle each other before tying up, Demi instantly taking an advantage with her lower center of gravity and taking Emily over with a northern lights suplex with a bridge. Ref Kirby doesn’t even get a one before Emily kicks out, rising up only to charge into an arm drag that Demi transitions perfectly into an arm bar.

Arthur La Forge: Now this might be the sleeper match of the night because these two are some of the best competitors in Level Up today going at it!

Mary DeSue: I love how feminist you are to leave out that they’re women.

Arthur La Forge: Their gender isn’t a factor with how good they both wrestle, but yes it is great that they get to showcase their talents here in Level Up where in other places they’d just be eye candy.

Mary DeSue: Yeah…that’s my job.

Emily fights up, wincing as Demi sinks the hold in more. Eventually, Emily grabs onto the top rope and Kirby forces Demi to break although she exhausts the four count before releasing. Emily comes out firing, backing Demi to the ropes opposite with hard chops across the chest before whipping her across the ring and charging to meet her in the middle of the ring with a running knee that levels Demi and sends her rolling out the ring, Stephen coming to check on her.

Arthur La Forge: And as always there is the Stephen factor in Demi’s matches

Mary DeSue: Hey…I mean Buster could be out here to, but I guess he trust The Stratfords to play fair with Emily.

As Stephen helps his wife to her feet, Ref Kirby admonishes him for getting involved and doesn’t see Emily leap clear over him to come crashing down on the couple on the outside! Ref Kirby rolls out to check on the participants. Demi shoves him away, seemingly taking less of the impact than Stephen as she gets up to meet Emily. She ducks a roundhouse kick and shoves Emily face first into the ringpost. Demi snatches Simms, whipping her into the ringsteps but Emily leaps up and lands on the steps!

Arthur La Forge: Quick thinking and quicker reflexes from Emily Simms!

Mary DeSue: She almost ate s[bleep] but damnnnn!!

Simms goes to nail Demi with a moonsault but the stronger, stouter woman catches Emily and nails her with a powerslam on the ring apron. She lets Emily crumple to the ground, before leaning on the apron and standing on her face until Kirby admonishes her to get off it. Demi rolls Simms into the ring, signaling the end as she stalks her. When Emily gets up, Dem wastes no time and nails her with Halo! She drops down, hooking both legs

One!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Mr. Rad: Here is your winner…Demi Stratford!!

Arthur La Forge: What a hard fought match between Simms and Stratford! That’s a match that could easily main event an EXP or even a Pay Per View here. I hope we see more of them facing off against each other.

Mary DeSue: You go girls! Also gotta love the class and style of The Stratfords.

Arthur La Forge: We’ve got a commercial break coming up, be back in a moment folks!

—

The scene cuts to backstage, where Jack Sullivan seems to be on the hunt for something… or someone. She comes to a stop in front of a locker room door that is labeled as being for Duncan Shepard. Taking a deep breath, Jack gives a knock on the door before stepping back to wait for the champion to answer.

Duncan Shepard: Who is it?

Jack Sullivan: It’s Jack Sullivan. I’m just here to talk.

The door swings open abruptly and in the opening, his arms spread between the door and the frame is an irate looking Commander Shepard.

Duncan Shepard: Talk about what?

Jack watches as Shepard steps into frame, waiting a moment before responding.

Jack Sullivan: About the Skeleton Key match. It was my first shot at the top, and despite my best efforts you came out ahead and kept the championship. I realize this sort of thing isn’t common in wrestling since everyone is always gunning for the guy at the top, but I just wanted to say thank you for the opportunity, and offer my respect.

As Jack spoke, she extends a hand towards Duncan.

Duncan is silent for a moment. He frowns, narrowing his eyes and giving Jack an uncertain look. Slowly he takes his hand off the door and meets Jack’s extended towards him.

Duncan Shepard:Right. Yeah. Thanks. You did good kid.

Jack accepts his hand, giving a firm shake before she releases it.

Jack Sullivan: Not good enough, but I learned where my limits lie. I’m not ready yet for that belt of yours, but someday I will be. I hope you keep it safe and sound until then so we can have a proper rematch down the line, Commander.

Duncan Shepard: I intend to. Go and earn your shot for real this time. I’ll be waiting.

Jack stares at the champ for a moment before giving a nod, then turning on her heel and walking away. Once she’s turned her back Duncan shakes his head as he disappears back into the locker room, closing the door behind him.

—

Catalina Cortes vs. Alix Mayne

Catalina Cortes comes right out of the gates swinging, stunning Alix Mayne with a series of lightning-fast taekwondo kicks right to the shin. Cortes looks to sweep Alix’s feet out from under her but Mayne manages to jump into the air, avoiding the kick. She looks rather pleased with herself put hadn’t noticed that Cortes is coming around for a second sweep kick, this time connecting! Alix hits the mat and Cortes immediately takes advantage, leaping into the air and connecting with a standing moonsault! Cortes lays on top of Alix for the cover.

ONE!

Alix kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: These two have both made big impressions since joining Level Up! And the fans are reaping the benefits!

Mary DeSue: I mean…I’m not really a fan of either one but give me Cortes over Robochick anyday.

Arthur La Forge:...

Mary DeSue: Does someone have a fetish for Robocop?

Arthur La Forge: No!

Alix tries to create some distance between them as Cortes looks to land ANOTHER standing moonsault. Alix manages to move out of the way but instead of landing smack bang on her stomach, Cortes lands on her feet and flips a second time, this time connecting! Again she covers Alix, this time hooking the leg.

ONE!

Alix again kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: This fast paced and hard hitting style of Cortes is definitely trying to wear down Mayne.

Mary DeSue: Fast paced means this show ends quicker and I can get back to pedaling things on my insta.

Frustrated by the robot’s perseverance, she stomps on Alix and then heads to the ropes. She climbs between them, then sizes up Alix. She goes to spring off the top rope, but Alix catches her with a forearm shot before she can! The impact causes Cortes to sway on the apron but she’s still holding onto the rope. Alix grabs Cortes by the head and brings her down neck-first across the top rope. She then hooks Cortes’ head and hauls her forward so her feet are draped across the rope…AND BRINGS HER DOWN WITH A ROPE HUNG NECKBREAKER! Cover!

ONE!

TWO!

Cortes kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: MOTHER BRAIN!!! That was close!

Mary DeSue: Do you get paid everytime you say that or something.

Arthur La Forge: I got a merch deal coming out to Mary.

Mary DeSue: …Really?!

Cortes staggers up to her feet, clutching her head, then tries for a 180 spinning punch on Alix, but Mayne grabs her arm and takes her over with an arm wrench snapmare! She follows it up with a kick to Cortes’ back, but that seems to just fire Catalina up as she immediately gets back to her feet. Cortes lunges at Alix, looking for a handspring elbow, but Alix takes her over with a judo throw, then sinches in a grounded abdominal stretch! Catalina screams more in frustration than anything, but Alix is demonstrating that she’s a student of the game!

Arthur La Forge: Both competitors are extremely skilled and this match could still go either way!

Mary DeSue: I dunno who I dislike more so I’m keeping things neutral for now. See! I can be professional Artie!

Ref Crash is in great position and asks Cortes if she quits, to which she shakes her head. Alix lays in a few elbows into Cortes’ midsection for good measure, further compounding the pressure on Cortes’ abdomen. However, the crowd begin to get behind Cortes, and soon the flashy Californian is fighting out of her predicament. She gets to a standing base and elbows Alix in the chest, forcing her to let go. Suddenly Cat grabs Alix’s arm, and twists it into a roll-up pin, CAT’S CRADLE!

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO!!

Alix just kicks out before three!

Arthur La Forge: A kickout of “Cat’s Cradle” is a rare thing!

Mary DeSue: Should have hit her with something more first.

Both women are up and this time Cortes takes Alix over with an arm-drag. She keeps control of Alix’s arm and whips her off the ropes. As Alix rebounds, Cortes runs past her, and bounces off the ropes she was just whipped into. They meet in the center of the ring and Cortes takes Alice down with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Alix is on her knees, and Cortes bounces off the ropes, going for the MARLOWE MASSACRE! NO!! Alix ducks out of the way of the Kinshasa and Crotes goes sailing. Alix springs back to her feet and nails a step-up hurracanrana on Cortes as she comes back in! As she completes the spin, Alix traps Cortes’ arm, then takes her over for a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! BRIDGE COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

Cortes kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: This match and Simms versus Stratford are definitely in for match of the night so far!

Mary DeSue: Well their only competition involves a WANK!

Feeling the momentum swinging her way, Alix pounds in the mat in a rare display of emotion as she waits for Cortes to get up. She slowly does and Alix grabs her in a headlock, taking her down with a HEADLOCK DRIVER! Cortes’ bell is rung and as she stumbles to her feet, Alix backs her up against the ropes and whips her off. She rebounds and Alix attempts what looks like a tilt-a-whril headscissors of her own, but it transitions into BLUEBERRY SLAMCAKES! NO!! CORTES COUNTERS IT INTO CAT-CLYSM! Cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO!!

Alix kicks out at the last second!

Arthur La Forge: MOTHER BRAIN!!! WHO!! WILL!!! WIN!!!

Mary DeSue: Well the T-Virus got him guys…gonna have to put Artie down…

Arthur La Forge: What?

Mary DeSue: Eh?

But even though she kicked out, it’s clear Alix’s bell has been rung after that corkscrew neckbreaker. She’s woozy, only able to get to her knees. She looks up to see Cat hurtling at her, AND SHE CAN’T AVOID THE MARLOWE MASSACRE! COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

DING DING DING!!

Mr Rad: Here is your winner…CATALLLLINNNAAAA CORRRRTES!!

Arthur La Forge: What a match! That one earned extra stars tonight!

Mary DeSue: But Dave’s not here man…

Catalina breaths a sigh of relief after coming out on top in a whirlwind match. She slowly gets to her feet and Ref Crash raises her arm in the air, the Level Up fans showing their appreciation with loud cheers. She immediately walks over to Alix, checking to see that she’s ok. Alix slowly nods, then rolls out of the ring, making her way to the back.

Arthur La Forge: A show of sportsmanship and respect from Catalina to Alix. Isn’t that nice…

Mary DeSue: Yep…definitely zombie brained.

—

We cut to a scene backstage to a zoomed in shot of Emily Simms looking on the verge of tears. The camera slowly zooms out to reveal a row of black lockers lining the wall behind her. Fellow wrestler, and new love interest, Buster Gloves appears on the right side of the screen. She briefly flashes a look at his concerned face before averting her gaze again. He places a hand on her upper back to comfort her after a disappointing loss to Demi Stratford.

“You gave it your best out there, Emmy. It didn’t work out.” He says, while Emily stands, hands on her hips, stone faced, her eyes on the floor. He continues in a weak attempt to brighten the mood. “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be tonight. You're allowed to be upset, but Demi is one hell of a competitor. The fans love you twice as much as they do her, regardless of who wins.”

She looks up at him and bats her eyes a couple times, a little more optimistic than before. “I tried my best out there, but I just couldn’t figure her out. She was just one step ahead of me the whole time. I’d like another shot at her though. Neither of us really had a chance to show off what we’re capable of. I just want to put on a good show for all the people, ya know?”

Buster’s hand slides down her arm as he loosely holds her hand in his. “You’ll get your chance. Promise. Just keep at it and you’re gonna keep getting better. The fans love you. Level Up loves you.”

Emily smiles as if she’s just thought of something funny and wipes a tear from her eye. “You’re sweet.”

Buster takes a deep breath and shoots his shot. “Em, I need to ask you a favor.”

Her facial features relax for a moment as if she were confused. “What is it?”

Now Buster looks a little timid. “I know you’re a little banged up from your match already, I was hoping… it would mean a lot to me… if you would be my valet for my match tonight.” He pauses for a moment, vulnerable, as if he just asked for her hand in marriage.

She’s taken aback by the offer. “Really?”

In recent memory, Level Up has never had an actual wrestler/valet duo. Bert McAlroy and Ahmya were a couple, but they were tag team partners first. There were managers and lumberjacks. Guest referees and special commentators. But never a ‘valet’ in the truest sense of the word.

“Wait. What do you mean by valet, exactly?”

After another deep breath, Buster summons the strength to put his needs out there, in front of a girl he likes, while pretending the camera isn’t just feet away. “I’m proud of you. You give me strength and I need that for my match tonight. It’s the first time I’ve ever been in a main event and Chelsea Skye is ready to kick my ass. I need you to help me remember what I’m fighting for. Keep me focused with the eye on the prize. There’s a box in your closet. I bought you a dress and some shoes. I was hoping that you would wear it and accompany me at the ring. Encourage me. Don’t let me quit.”

The warmth in her smile is enough to melt a million hearts. She involuntarily puts her right hand over her heart before responding. “I’d love to, Buster!” She sneaks under his arm to wrap her arms around his waist and then purrs as she leans her head into his chest.

With lips screwed shut, he smiles widely as he looks down at her.

“I told the ladies from hair and makeup that you might need to visit them. Whenever you’re ready, they are down there waiting for you. You’re gonna shine tonight, Emmy”

Emily snuggles in closer for a tighter hug. Just then, the locker room door opens and Jommy’s cousin Paul Freedom barges in for a rude interruption. The happy couple pull back from each other as if they were teenagers just caught by Emily’s gun-toting father.

Paul is spooked by the surprise presence in the room, as if he were intending to be alone. “Oh hey, I’m not interrupting anything am I?” pauses Freedom before taking any more steps.

Buster puts his hands on his hips, squaring up, widening his stance, before he cuts the tension. He waves Paul over. “No, no. Come on in. We were just wrapping up.”

Emily strategically sees herself out of the conversation. “I’ll uhhh… step out… there’s so much to do. I wanna see this dress you got me!” Emily scurries over to her locker. The camera shows her in the background digging around as Paul Freedom steps up to make conversation.

Avoiding eye contact, Paul quickly looks Buster up and down, then makes a dexterity roll to detect traps. “So, like, main event, huh? Defending the title! That’s a pretty big deal! You must be wicked excited.”

Unwilling to show any signs of weakness, Buster dips a toe into the dark water. He opens up a little bit. “Think so? I just hope people actually watch it. This thing with Chelsea has been going on since the day I got here. We just need to get it out of our system and move on. Know what I mean?”

The admission energizes Paul and welcomes him to open up a bit himself. “Oh, I completely agree. The finality of a big blowoff contest like that can give everyone involved some closure. Not just the people squaring off, but the fans, too! After all, they make this all possible and I know you’ll do your best to entertain them. Best of luck tonight, Mr. Gloves.”

Emily Simms is still tossing around items in the background, ripping blue and gray wrapping paper from a medium-sized flat box. A bow and a lid go flying, then a sleek white dress emerges from the box. “Oh… my… GOURD…this is B.A.utiful!!!” She gasps at the beauty of it, holding it to her body, posing one leg in front of the other and shaking her hips.

Buster takes a mental picture, trying not to be so obvious about his adoration, but keeps his tough demeanor. “I’m rooting for you and Jack in the Multiplayer Tourney. You're a good kid. Jack’s a tough competitor. The three of us should team up some time. Deliver some ring justice to all the Beagle Boys running around this place. Us good guys need to look out for each other.”

Unsure whether Buster is being literal or playing mind games, Paul is careful not to say anything that could be interpreted as a commitment. “I really appreciate the offer, Mr. Gloves, and will be sure to keep that in mind, ya know, moving forward and everything. And, like, speaking of moving forward, I’m just so relieved that you aren’t still mad about the Last of Us. Forgive and forget, right?”

A single eyebrow raises on Buster’s bald head. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten about that. You pinned me. You’re the only person that’s ever done that. You got a receipt coming. But there’s no reason we can’t be friends first.”

Involuntarily, Paul raises his own gorgeous eyebrows in a mimicking motion, attempting to give off the feeling of familiarness. He’s not sure whether to feel threatened or flattered.

Emily eases the awkwardness with her own elation. “Oooh… I’m so excited! This is gonna be totes amaze balls, you guys! I’ll catch up to you two meat wagons in a little bit. There’s so much to do!”

Buster and Paul Freedom make eye contact and both shrug uncomfortably at the situation. With Buster’s match for the Wisdom Championship coming up in the main event, and Paul Freedom’s first round tag tournament match coming up right before, it’s sure to be a night that will change the career paths of many wrestlers.


We cut away from the scene and get back to the action in the ring.

—

Dollface vs Jason Ryan


DING! DING! DING!

Ryan doesn't make an attempt to lock up with Dollface immediately instead talking some smack to her. Dollface listens and walks closer to Ryan nodding her head. Ryan goes for a cheap shot and Dollface ducks it. Ryan turns and gets peppered in the side of the head with a kick to the ear sending the bigger man down to the mat. "Dollface" just goes off kicking the hell out of Ryan's ribs trying to take the air out of "The Dreamkiller's" sails. She picks up Ryan and tosses him into the ropes. Ryan goes for a clothesline, but "Dollface" ducks. Ryan rebounds. Cross body! Cover...

One...

Kickout with authority from Ryan!

Arthur La Forge: Ryan's not gonna go down that easily, but Dollface seems to be trying to wear him down.

Mary DeSue: She better hope he doesn't get ahold of her. He might pop her knee out of socket!

"Dollface" gets up and kicks Ryan square in the jaw before grabbing him in a dragon sleeper type hold. She wreches and pulls trying to help drain the air out of Ryan's body, but Ryan gets to the ropes and Referee Pliskin has no choice but to get "Dollface" to let go...

One...

Two...

Th.."Dollface" lets go but slaps the shit out of Ryan's face as she gets up waiting to see what he'll do. Ryan shakes his head for a moment and gets up. He mouths to "Dollface" as she flips him off. He charges. She swings. He ducks and grabs her arm. Irish whip into the corner..."Dollface" turns..."PINKEYE!"

Arthur La Forge: Pinkeye! To the face! Dollface wanted to play with Ryan and that didn't sit well with the big man.

Mary DeSue: Uh oh...here comes trouble.

Ryan takes a few steps back and does a running knee to the face of "Dollface" and then picks her up out of the corner. One! Two! Three rolling German Suplexes with a release! He picks up "Dollface" and tosses her into the ropes...SPINEBUSTER!!! Ryan picks up "Dollface" and puts her in a bear hug! He's squeezing the life out of her!

Arthur La Forge: He’s trying to choke her out with a bear hug!

Mary DeSue: I hate to quote you here Artie, but this is getting personal up in here.

Ryan has got the bearhug clinched in at the center of the ring. He moves around in a circle to give everyone a good look at him hurting "Dollface", but suddenly Ryan stops. He eyes someone in the crowd as "Dollface" reaches into her mouth and pulls out the "black s[bleep]" and liplocks Ryan! Ryan let's go, but "Dollface" quickly hits "The Black Hand" on Ryan! Ryan can't breath...he's flat on his back...

One...

Two...

Three!!

DING! DING! DING!

Mr. Rad: Here is your winner..."Dollface" Sarah Wolf!

Arthur La Forge: And “Dollface” wins by surprising Ryan. I wonder what he saw just now…

Mary DeSue: I dun…

“Dollface” gets up as Ryan coughs up the “black s[bleep]” and is arguing with Referee Pliskin as someone runs in from the crowd. She pulls off her hoodie…IT’S AMBER PAYNE!! She attacks Ryan and slaps him into “RINGS OF PAYNE”!!! Security rushes from the back to break these two apart!

Arthur La Forge: Looks like the war between Payne and Ryan isn’t gonna stop!

Mary DeSue: I guess dislocation means escalation here!

—

”God in Extension” kicks on over the PA system, and boos from the older fans in the audience begin to rain down, as Shane Donovan makes his way to the ring dressed in his wrestling gear. The former world champion shouts at fans as he goes, aiming to rile them up before he slides into the ring. He reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out a microphone, climbing up onto the second turnbuckle to insult another fan before getting on the microphone.

Arthur La Forge: So it looks like one of the entrants to the Multiplayer Championship Tournament has decided to come out and make his presence known a show earlier than expected.

Mary DeSue: I don’t know him, so not a bad idea I guess.

Shane Donovan: Hello, fans of Level Up Wrestling! I can tell from the response I received when I came out that most of you haven’t hit puberty yet, and thus are needing an introduction to yours truly.

The crowd, unsurprisingly, doesn’t take kindly to the insult, and as a result the boos grow louder. Shane grins before he continues.

Shane Donovan: I’m Shane Donovan, better known as the wrestler your favorite wrestler looks up to, as well as the man your mom fantasizes about when stuck having to satisfy your dad’s “needs”. Don’t worry ladies, I plan on giving you plenty of salacious thoughts to add to the pile soon enough.

Shane winks and then blows a kiss to the crowd before he climbs down from the second rope to cross to the center of the ring.

Shane Donovan: As I’m sure those of you who actually had the parts of their brains that process memories fully developed at the time recall, I’ve been away for a while to deal with some nagging injuries and other such problems. The moment I got cleared to return to the ring, however, I had Trent Steel’s people blowing up my phone. Level Up was having itself a tournament, and it needed star power that the current roster just couldn’t provide. It needs… me.

The crowd is quick to let Shane know that they disagree with his assessment, but the man ignores the noise to continue.

Shane Donovan: Naturally, when someone like Trent Steel sends his people to gravel at your feet to help keep his company relevant you listen. I told them I would be more than happy to come out here and show his crew how real wrestling is supposed to look, and then I got to work doing my own research. Everyone knows Level Up is a cesspool completely devoid of real talent, living off the novelty of being on the same platform as the tweens watching each other teabagging opponents in crappy shooters, but I wanted to see for myself.

The discontent of the audience grows louder, and Shane gestures for them to continue to throw jeers his way before he resumes speaking.

Shane Donovan: Trent, the talent pool amongst your champions is stagnant dog water. I could whoop any of them in a match right here right now without even breaking a sweat. I know it, you know it, and all the fans out there who aren’t currently dreading the changes their bodies are soon to be going through knows it! Not a single one of them has the courage to–

”Carry On Wayward Son” hits the PA system and the crowd blows up in cheers. Shane Donovan looks at the ring entrance in annoyance at being cut off. Once the electric guitar hits, Eli Goode walks to the stage with the Courage Championship over his shoulder. He looks at Shane in annoyance and slowly walks down towards the ring.

Arthur La Forge: Here comes the New Courage Champion Eli Goode, and he doesn’t look happy about Shane Donovan.

Mary DeSue: Ugh, we have to hear him speak now. Look, he already pissed me off by carrying that title over his shoulder. I don’t want to get annoyed by his voice today.

Eli walks up the steel steps and slowly walks across the ring apron. He enters the ring as the music fades away. The crowd starts chanting, “That Damn Goode” to let Shane know what they feel about Eli. Shane tries to speak up, but Eli holds his hand up. The crowd cheers for Eli. Eli walks over and requests a microphone. He’s handed on and Eli looks at Shane.

Eli Goode: Who, in the hell, are you?

Shane starts to answer, but Eli quickly cuts him off.

Eli Goode: That was a rhetorical question, you moron. If I cared about who you were, I would’ve asked genuinely. No, I know who you are. You’re an asshole that likes to think he’s better than everyone. You’re a guy that thinks talking about how good he is in bed will actually prove something to himself. Shane, you can tell the audience that you make all these women wet, but they know that the moment you’re with them your mini-me can’t perform up to standards.

The crowd cheers as Shane starts to show a hint of anger. Eli looks him up and down and scoffs.

Eli Goode: Shane, you came down here and told the fans that Trent graveled at your feet, but by saying that, you proved to be a moron again because it’s grovel, you dumb son of a bitch. Look, I came out here because everyone in the back was so annoyed at you talking that someone needed to shut you up. You kept going on-and-on about how much talent we don’t have, but Duncan Shepard is one of the greatest champions in all of wrestling right now.

The crowd cheers after hearing the Final Boss Champion’s name.

Eli Goode: Buster Gloves is one of the greatest technical wrestlers in the world.

The crowd cheers again at the mention of the Wisdom Champion.

Eli Goode: However, I can agree that Larry Tact is a piece of garbage that can't keep his house in order. But, for you to come out here and disrespect the audience and disrespect the men and women in the back is probably the dumbest thing you could’ve thought of. So, you say no one has the courage to face you? Well, as the Courage Champion…

Eli holds up the Courage Championship over his head as the crowd starts to cheer at what is being suggested by Eli.

Eli Goode: I’ll take you up on that offer, right here, right now.

Once Eli announces that he accepts the challenge the look of annoyance that was on Shane’s face disappears, replaced with a wicked grin as he unzips his jacket and tosses it aside.

Shane Donovan: Good to see all the old dog whistles for the likes of you haven’t changed in my absence. Someone get the ref out here and ring the damn bell!

—

Shane Donovan vs. Eli Goode

Eli and Shane begin to circle one another before going into a feeling out process, which ends when Donovan does a go-behind on Goode. Eli reverses into a reverse waist-lock and catches a back elbow to the jaw for his troubles. Donovan then latches onto the arm of Goode and holds him into place while hitting a series of elbows to the head. When Goode is knocked down to his knees, Donovan throws him into the ropes. Eli reverses, then attempts a backdrop but Shane goes over with a sunset flip.

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Eli kicks out by rolling backward then hits a basement dropkick to the face!

Arthur La Forge: You aren't catching the Courage champion off guard!

Mary DeSue: It still feels gross to hear you say that.

Arthur La Forge: Well get used to it. Eli earned that win.

Goode checks his jaw then gets to his feet and gets a front face-lock on Donovan. Shane backs him into the corner and hits a series of shoulder thrusts to the midsection. Eli drops down and Shane takes a step back before choking him in the corner with his boot. He grabs him and tries to drag him to the center of the ring but Eli fights him off. Donovan gets a knee to the midsection to double him over. He throws him into the corner but when Donovan tries a charge, Eli gets the boots up. Goode then rushes forward and hits a flying forearm smash. Donovan gets up and Eli hits another. Donovan gets back up and swings wildly. Eli ducks and hits a Pele kick! Cover!

ONE!

TWO!

No! Shane kicks out and rolls to the corner to recover.

Arthur La Forge: These two are going at it like old rivals but this is the first time they've met.

Mary DeSue: Eli always has a problem with everybody.

Arthur La Forge: He has a problem with those who treat others terribly. And I agree with him.

Mary DeSue: You're both losers.

Eli flies in and hits a chop to Donovan before throwing him to the other side of the ring. Donovan plants his feet and stops himself mid throw and turns around to hit a back elbow, but Goode ducks it and hits a DDT! Cover!

One!

Two!

No! Donovan throws the shoulder up. Goode gets to his feet and waits for Shane to get up himself, before running in and hitting a trying a Sling Blade! Donovan catches him and launches him into the corner. He rushes in and Eli tries to get the boots up, but Shane catches him and yanks him out of the corner into a quick sitout powerbomb! Now he covers!

One!

Two!

Th--no! Eli kicks out! Donovan runs to the corner and adjusts his brace, fully intending to hit a running knee. But Goode is up and NAILS THE SLING BLADE! He climbs up top, possibly for a frog splash, but Donovan kicks the ropes and Eli falls, landing in a delecate position. Donovan then grabs the wrist and pulls Goode off the top into a RISING KNEE STRIKE! The brace connects flush! Donovan covers!

ONE!

TWO!

THRe---NO! ELI KICKS OUT! Shane Donovan is beside himself and begins to argue with the referee.

Arthur La Forge: Shane Donovan was hoping to make an impact and even with an unfair advantage he couldn't do it!

Mary DeSue: Geez, Artie...biased much?

Arthur La Forge: I'm calling it like I see it.

Donovan picks up Eli and gets the first half of The Clincher, a dragon sleeper! Eli reaches out for the ropes but Shane won't let him get there. Goode kicks backwards at the braced knee, knowing it's weaker, and the move works and it looses Shane's grasp. Eli ducks down and gets a overhead toe kick to knock Shane back into the ropes, and as he comes back, Eli gets another SLING BLADE! He goes back up top like he wanted and comes off with a FROG SPLASH! COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

THRe---NO! Shane barely gets the shoulder up!

Arthur La Forge: Eli Goode is wrestling smart here and almost caught him!

Mary DeSue: You talk about Shane's unfair advantage, Eli kicked his bad leg!

Arthur La Forge: That's how wrestling works, Mary. An old injury is a target.

Shane Donovan gets to his feet, groggy and Eli immediately scoops him up into a fireman's carry, hoping to hit a GOODE BYE...but Shane RAKES THE EYES! He lands behind Eli and shoves him into referee Crash Cortex, who narrowly avoids a collision, but is thrown off long enough to miss Shane hitting a LOW BLOW! Eli stumbles around and Donovan gets a jackknife pin!

ONE!

DONOVAN GETS FEET UP ON THE ROPES!

TWO!

THREE!!!

Mr. Rad: HERE is your winner...SHANE DONOVAN!

Arthur La Forge: Are you kidding me!?!

Mary DeSue: JUSTICE PREVAILS!

Arthur La Forge: That was a triple threat of cheating!

Mary DeSue: No he just went for Eli's weakness. His balls. Isn't that how wrestling works?

Donovan quickly gets out of the ring and retreats up the ramp. Goode gets to his feet and is furious at what just transpired, with the referee having to hold him back from continuing the fight.


—



—

Stephen Stratford vs. Amber Payne

Stephen and Amber eye each other evenly, Amber breaking the placid exchange with a sneer as the bell sounds. Stephen seems to be in no hurry as he drop steps under a lock up attempt, getting Amber in a rear waistlock then shoving her to the ropes before stepping aside, smiling at her as Amber seems angered by the small display of arrogance. She charges in, faking high but nailing Stephen with a dropkick to the knee then popping up and leveling him with an enziguri.

Arthur La Forge: Amber isn’t screwing around tonight after attacking Ryan earlier!

Mary DeSue: That’s gonna bite her though, Everyone knows her shoulder is still weak from being dislocated.

Amber goes to lock in an arm bar but Stephen slips free and trips Amber up, leaping on her and locking in a side headlock that he digs in as deep as he can. Amber fights up but Stephen widens his base, holding as long as he can until Amber fires him into the ropes. He knocks her down with a shoulder blocker on the rebound and hits the ropes. Amber goes for the trip but Stephen leaps over. On rebound, Amber hits him with a hurricanrana!!

Arthur La Forge: Hurricanrana outta nowhere!

Mary DeSue: Hopefully she can capitalize on it, but I doubt it. Stephen is highly capable and intelligent.

Amber once again moves in to capitalize but Stephen uses the ropes to get the ref between them. As soon as he’s up though he nearly mows the ref down going for a leaping forearm that levels Amber. He then begins to put the boots to her before putting the exclamation with a knee drop across her face. Stephen yanks Amber up, yelling at her before getting her in position…HALO!! He goes for the pin!

ONE!

TWO!!

AMBER GETS HER FOOT ON THE ROPE!!

Arthur La Forge: Great instinct right there by Amber. She was down. She couldn’t muster enough to kick out, but she remembered her ring placement.

Mary DeSue: Wrestlers are weird. The only ring placement you need to worry about is which one your sugar daddy is buying for you.

Stephen is agitated and yanks Amber up, nailing her already groggy self in the side of the head with knees and the back of it with elbow strikes in alternating fashion. .He gets her back in position and nails another Halo! He then drags her to the middle of the ring, going for the pin and hooking both legs!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

DING! DING! DING!

Mr. Rad: Here is your winner…Stephen Stratford!

Arthur La Forge: That Halo is a devastating move for Stratford.

Mary DeSue: The most devastating is the move he made to get Demi probably…I’d like to see that move.

Stratford seems to not be done as he slides out of the ring, grabbing the timekeeper’s bell. He begins measuring Amber up when suddenly Eli Goode runs out! Stratford drops the the ring bell when Eli gets between him and Amber, the two jaw with each other with Stephen eventually backing off with a cheshire grin, leaving without incident but never taking his eyes off Eli Goode. Eli checks on Amber who is also glaring at The Stratfords as the leave the ringside area.

Arthur La Forge: Oh…this isn’t good.

Mary DeSue: I feel like we’re about to go to a cutscene where more zombies show up!
—

Slone Taylor vs. Larry Tact

Sloane Taylor kicks things up by harnessing the capacity crowd’s energy. She raises her hand into the air and the crowd cheer loudly, she points over at the Power Champion and the Level Up fans show their universal displeasure with boos. Sloane again points at herself, then at Tact quickly, causing the crowd to go back and forth with their cheers and boos. Tact rolls his eyes, grabbing Sloane’s arm as she gestures at him again and pulling her towards him. Sloane is caught off guard and Tact pulls her into a knee strike. He then drills her chest with a knife-edge chop, before pulling her into a gutwrench suplex! Cover!

ONE!

Sloane kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: A kickout at one, Sloane is tougher than her Twitter profile would suggest.

Mary DeSue: She’s too nice. You can’t be nice in this business!

Arthur La Forge: Tact is certainly the least nice person in the company and he’s got a title belt, but Sloane has had success everywhere else she’s been.

Sloane scrambles away to the corner, and Tact tries to follow her in, only for Taylor to connect with a high kick that sees Tact stagger away. Looking for some high-impact offense, Sloane seats herself on the top rope. Tact charges in a second time, but again catches a kick for his troubles! Now in position, Sloane leaps off and connects with a TORNADO DDT! Tact bounces headfirst off the canvas, as Sloane hypes up the crowd again! Tact is up, and swings for a clothesline on Sloane but she ducks under it! Sloane hooks Tact’s head and nails him with a spectacular STANDING SPANISH FLY - SILVER LINING! Cover!

ONE!


TWO!

Tact kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: And Tact of course is no slouch himself.

Mary DeSue: Tact can’t slouch..those abs are the money maker.

Sloane pops up and, like an energizer bunny, is right back at it with a standing shooting star-press! This high impact offense is proving fruitful for her, and Tact is on the ropes! She bounces up again instead of covering, and decides to go to the well again. She climbs through the ropes, then waits for Tact to get up. He slowly does, and she steadies herself, then spring off, looking for a springboard knee strike…BUT TACT GRABS HER OUT OF THE AIR AND PLANTS HER WITH A SNAP POWERBOMB! Tact stumbles back to the ropes and gets a breather, as Sloane writhes on the mat in pain. Tact drills his foot into Sloane’s throat, choking her out! He stops the choke at the count of four, then heaves her up. Tact drops Sloane on her head a second time with a brainbuster! Cover!

ONE!


TWO!

Sloane kicks out.

Arthur La Forge: Double the Brainbusting!

Mary DeSue: Double the Ugh!

Tact hauls up Sloane and this time lifts her body onto his shoulder. He runs forward, looking for a POWERSLAM - NO! Sloane slides out of his grip and uses Tact’s momentum against him to send him face-first into the turnbuckle. Tact stumbles back and Sloane connects with a jawbreaker into a handspring enziguri! Tact collapses to the ground and Sloane is fired up! She calls for Tact to get up, in perfect position for…SEEING STARS! The 720 kick completely rings Tact’s bell. Slaone heads up to her happy place - on the top rope - and leaps off, connecting with HEAD IN THE CLOUDS! The double stomp moonsault lands perfectly, and Sloane hooks Tact’s leg.

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO!

Tact gets a shoulder up at the last second.

Arthur La Forge: Tact almost lost it there!

Mary DeSue: She needs to give him a chance to catch his breath…Really this shows her cheating if you think about it.

Sloane falters for a moment, unsure how that wasn’t enough to put the Power Champion down. But the underdog can feel the victory now, she can taste it! Determined, she heads back to the apron, sizing Tact up once again. Slowly but surely he gets up, and Sloane goes off the top rope again, but before she can land anything Tact pulls Ref Kirby in front of him, and she unintentionally takes him out! The landing is awkward because Sloane had to adjust at the last minute. She turns around to Tact, who jabs a finger in her eye! He then lifts her up and PLANTS HER WITH AN URANAGE SUPLEX - HUMBLING!

Arthur La Forge: URANAGE SUPLEX!!! MOTHER BRAIN!!!

Mary DeSue: Finisher her off Tact! Do it now!

Tact slides out of the ring and begins rooting around underneath it…eventually producing a steel chair! The crowd boo loudly but Tact flips them off, then climbs back into the squared circle. Sloane is on her hands and knees facing away from him, and Tact raises the chair above him. He brings it down…only for Sloane to roll away on instinct! The chair shot misses, Tact swings again, but this time Sloane showcases her impressive aerial abilities by KICKING THE CHAIR OUT OF HIS HANDS!

Arthur La Forge: Chair Denied!

Mary DeSue: If she had any sense she’d have kicked lower and used the chair to hit him. Idjit.

Tact is stunned for a moment, then quickly charges at Sloane, but she stops him with a quick dropkick to the knee! She grabs the chair and throws it out of the ring, scolding Tact for even bringing it into the match. Sloane then measures up Tact, and takes him down with a spinning hurracanrana! Sloane up to the turnbuckle, Tact slowly to his feet…Sloane leaps off, CONNECTING WITH A CORKSCREW STUNNER - SKYFALL!! Cover!

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!!

DING DING DING!!

Mr Rad: Here is your winner…SLOANNNNNEEE TAYLORRR!!

Arthur La Forge: A hard fought battle by Sloane Taylor and it pays off!

Mary DeSue: She’s just lucky Tact is still recovering from that hard match he had at SAI!

Sloane rolls to her feet and celebrates the hard fought victory as the Level Up fans go wild. Ref Kirby raises her arm into the air, and Sloane gets slightly emotional as the crowd continue to show their appreciation. She ascends the turnbuckle and raises her fists into the air as Tact licks his wounds.

Arthur La Forge: I have a feeling Tact isn’t gonna take this lying down.

Mary DeSue: I’m sure the Superior Strategist of The Game Changers already has a plan.

—

Duncan Shepard vs. Lord Raab

The bell rings and the two competitors begin the match staring each other down, each one clearly trying to get proper measure of the other. Lord Raab holds up his hands, inviting the Final Boss to engage in a test of strength. After a moment of hesitation Shepard obliges, moving in and engaging in a collar and elbow tie up. Raab quickly shows his power by shoving Shepard back before shooting in to grab Duncan in a waist lock. Not being interested in feeling the impact of the inevitable German suplex, the champion throws an elbow backwards, striking the masked giant multiple times in the side of the head until the big man releases the hold.

Arthur La Forge: “The Final Boss” and “The Big Green Monster” are not holding back!

Mary DeSue: Two big guys beating the hell out of each other near me…I feel like I’m back in College.

Once Duncan slipped free he quickly made the decision to pick up the pace, bouncing off of the ropes and striking Lord Raab with a shoulder block. Raab shrugs off the blow, leading Shepard to bounce off of the ropes and attempt another, only to be greeted with a big clothesline from the giant! Duncan immediately gets to his feet, but not quickly enough to escape Raab’s grasp, and The Masked German Monster lifts the champion up and over to plant him with a German suplex! The monster then goes for a pin:

One…

Tw–No! Shepard gets his shoulder up!

Arthur La Forge: Close, but no cigar. A win here could put Lord Raab in line for an FB title shot.

Mary DeSue: Ohhh the thoughts of meaty men slapping meat…

Lord Raab slaps the canvas in frustration, then gets to his feet, watching as Duncan gets up near the ropes. Raab charges, looking to hit the champion with another clothesline. The attempt comes up short, however, as the Final Boss ducks underneath. Raab bounces against the ropes, only to eat a drop kick to the mush from Duncan that sends him tumbling over the top rope to the outside! Raab landed on his feet, and Shepard moved to stand on the ring apron, leaping off to hit a double axe handle. At least, that was the plan, but Raab caught him by the throat. The big man calls for The Chokeinator, but Shepard kicks him in the gut, forcing Raab to instead toss Shepard back first into the ring apron.

Arthur La Forge: OOF! I felt that and I’m not even in this match.

Mary DeSue: Raab could sneeze and break you in half Artie.

The count began with both competitors outside, but Lord Raab paid it no mind, knowing full well that beating the Final Boss was going to require pulling out all the stops. He grabs Shepard by the head, slamming him face-first against the ring apron before lifting the champion up into a bear hug, lifting him up and charging forward to drive Duncan back-first into the ring post! Shepard grabs at his lower back in pain as Raab continues the assault, grabbing the champion and peppering him with rights.

Arthur La Forge: Raab’s upping his game, but he’s gotta get Duncan back into the ring to win!

Mary DeSue: Guess he’s getting to into his work.

The count hits five as Raab pushes Shepard back against the ring post, moving in to go for a headbutt. The champion ducks, leading Raab to smack his skull against the unforgiving steel and giving Duncan the opportunity to gather his wits about him. Not wanting to get counted out, Shepard grabs Raab and rolls him into the ring, taking advantage of Raab being temporarily stunned to grasp his head from behind and lock in the Neural Shock! The Masked German Monster quickly powers out, however, shoving Duncan off before grasping the Final Boss’ wrist so he could apply an arm bar submission of his own!

Arthur La Forge: Lord Raab with an impressive reversal!

Mary DeSue: Strong and smart…Duncan’s screwed!

Raab wrenched the arm, clearly trying to pull the champion’s shoulder from its socket before Duncan was able to roll forward, disrupting the monster’s grip enough to free his arm. Deciding he needed to keep up the pressure, Shepard charges forward and hits Lord Raab with multiple Krogan Handshakes. This staggered the masked man, and Duncan moved to climb up the ropes, getting to the top and lunging off to drill Lord Raab with a Biotic Charge from the top! The crowd couldn’t believe it as even that wasn’t enough to send Raab to the mat, instead sending the man flying back against the ropes. The Final Boss moved to capitalize, rushing after and performing a crucifix, using the move to roll the Masked German Monster into a pin attempt:

One…

Two…

Three! Raab kicks out just a fraction of a second too late as the referee rings the bell.

Mr. Rad: Here is your winner…Duncan Shepard!!

Arthur La Forge: “The Final Boss” still stands tall in victory, but Lord Raab put up a hell of a fight!

Mary DeSue: I wanted more…more meaty men slapping meat…

Duncan starts to get up after a few seconds of catching his breath when we see a gloved hand in fame with the closeup. Duncan smiles and grabs the hand of Lord Raab who pulls him up. The two pose together for a few moments as Lord Raab leaves and Duncan celebrates his hard fought win.
—

ISAAC & Drake Wilcox vs. Paul Montouri & Michelle Riggs

Drake is gonna start off for team "Game Changers" while Paul is gonna start off for "The Royals". As the bell rings Paul holds up his hand to Drake who just looks at him curiously. Paul walks over and points to a slightly overweight and balding fan in the front row. He starts mouthing off that if he's gonna stare at Michelle he might as well see what he's never gonna have and embraces Michelle with a kiss. Not a nice simple peck, oh no no no...it's that couple. That couple who think PDA is fair game. This causes the fans to get slightly upset...

"F[BLEEP]ING WRESTLE!!! F[BLEEP]ING WRESTLE!!! F[BLEEP]ING WRESTLE!!!"

Arthur La Forge: Well, this is ummm...interesting.

Mary DeSue: Bask in the glory of the awesomeness of your King and Queen.

Arthur La Forge: I didn't vote for 'em...

Paul finally breaks off and turns...TO GET A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE FROM DRAKE WHO SENDS PAUL ASS OVER TEAKETTLE OVER THE ROPES...And right in front of the guy he was insulting. The fan does what any fan would do...Crotch Chopping and talking smack as ISSAC heads to the outside and grabs Paul by the back of the head and bulldogs him into the steel steps face first! "Miss" Michelle yells out for Drake to stop and Drake responds by telling Michelle that she's number one...with a finger...not the index. He hoists Paul over his head and chucks "The King" into the ring thru the middle and bottom rope. Drake gets back into the ring and irish whips Paul into the ropes...SPINEBUSTER!

Arthur La Forge: Seven Foot Tall, Four Hundred Pounds, and one of the most dangerous big men in the sport! Drake Wilcox is decimating "The King" right now!

Mary DeSue: Hold your tongue peasant! Thou shalt not speak ill of "The Royals"!

Drake steps onto Paul's chest for a moment and stands there for a two count before walking off. Paul is gasping for air as Drake tags in ISSAC. Drake picks up Paul and whips him towards ISSAC...SPEAR! ISSAC goes for the cover...

One...

Paul gets his foot on the ropes! ISSAC gets up and gets into Referee Pliskin's face about the placement and shoves the ref down to the mat. As he is doing this Paul starts scrambling towards his corner and tags in Michelle! ISSAC looks at Michelle and laughs for a moment as he turns to say something to Drake...which proves to be a bit of a mistake as Michelle charges in and hits ISSAC with flying cross body taking the smaller man of the GC down. She doesn't let up and quickly runs to the ropes as ISSAC starts to set up and he gets a Meteora to the face as a reward! "The Queen" picks up ISSAC and bulldogs him into the mat. "The Queen" goes up top and poses for a moment as she hits a moonsualt! Tag to Paul after she drags ISSAC to their corner! Paul and Michelle set up ISSAC. Michelle gets ISSAC from behind with a reverse hurricanrana as Paul leaps up to the top rope...DIVING KNEE AT THE SAME TIME THE REVERSE HURRICANRANA IS HIT!! Drake grabs his ribs...Cover!!!

One...

Paul gets up and gets hit in the face with a vicious clothesline by Drake who breaks up the pin attempt! Pliskin yells at Drake to get back to his corner and Drake says okay, Pliskin turns...BOOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY DRAKE TO THE REF!!!

Arthur La Forge: Uh oh...Bedlam just got declared!

Mary DeSue: Man...Pliskin really needs to get his narcolepsy looked at!

All hell breaks loose as Michelle charges at Drake and gets caught by the big man! Drake holds her for a moment and we're reminded of that lovely scene in Princess Bride where Andre the Giant has Princess Buttercup...but add a throw away slam to the end of it! Michelle hits mat hard as Drake gets back up only to be grabbed from behind by Paul with a massive German Suplex!!! Paul gets up and starts talking smack only to get knocked down by a SPEAR from ISSAC!!!

Arthur La Forge: OOH! Spear by ISSAC!

Mary DeSue: I think Paul almost came out of his boots!

ISSAC gets up and grabs Paul...He wants to end this and yells at Drake to get up! Drake sets up Paul for a Jackknife Powerbomb onto ISSAC's knee, but "Miss" Michelle runs up behind Drake and...LOW BLOW!!! The big man goes down and ISSAC lunges forward at Michelle...ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE OF ISSAC!! Michelle gets back in her corner just as Pliskin comes around. Paul tags her in. They grab ISSAC...Toss into the ropes...DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER!!! Cover by Michelle!!

One...

Two...

Drake gets up and charges only to get a dropkick to the face from Paul...

THREE!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Mr. Rad: Here are your winners...Advancing to the next round of The Multiplayer Tournament...Paul Montouri and "Miss" Michelle Riggs...THE ROYALS!!

Paul and Michelle get the hell out of the ring fast as Drake is livid and being held back by Pliskin for a moment...then security rushes the ring! Drake and ISSAC are pissed off and yelling at each other as "The Royals" blow them kisses and head up the ramp.

Arthur La Forge: And "The Royals" advance, but the cheating of The Game Changers definitely tainted the win there.

Mary DeSue: Everyone wins when the taint is involved...

Arthur La Forge:...

Mary DeSue: What?

—

Jack Sullivan & Paul Freedom vs. Bam Miller & Peter Vaughn

Freedom and Vaughn are going to start out for their teams as Freedom holds out his hand to shake Vaughns. The fans start chanting "Don't do it! Don't do it!", and Vaughn takes exception to this. He shakes Freedom's hand and Freedom smiles at the crowd, and then gets potatoes on the side of the head with a kick from Vaughn and then Vaughn starts stomping away on Freedom! He picks up Freedom and tosses him into his team’s corner. Then he rushes at Sullivan in her corner while Miller grabs Freedom and slams Freedom's head into the turnbuckle post! Sullivan starts to come into the ring but Referee Crash tells her she has to stay back while Vaughn rushes back over and hits Freedom in the chest with a running clothesline. Crash is still tangled up with Sullivan so Miller gets a shot in by clawing Freedom in the face. Crash turns and doesn't see the Dirty Players getting their cheating hits in. Vaughn tags in Miller and they picks up Freedom and hit a double brainbuster on him! Miller goes for the cover...

One...

Two..

Freedom kicks out barely!

Arthur La Forge: That could have been the end for this rookie tag team!

Mary DeSue: Oh yes, and them possibly teaming up with Buster…joy!

Miller doesn't even seem phased as he tags Vaughn back in and they grab Freedom who tries to dive towards the center of the ring. Each man grabs a leg...WISHBONE!!! Freedom holds his, frontal section, in pain as Vaughn and Miller play pattycake for a second and then drop a double elbow onto the legacy rookie! Sullivan is infuriated at being stuck in the corner, but all she can do is get the crowd riled up. As she does this Miller and Vaughn picks up Freedom and sort of conduct the cheers of the crowd till they slam Freedom face first into the mat like a pancake and each grabs an arm for a double arm bar submission. Referee Crash starts to yell at Miller to get out of the ring...

One..

Two...

Three...

Miller breaks the hold and slides under the ring before Crash can DQ him. Vaughn picks up Freedom and starts talking to him. Each time he's yelling at Freedom about how to be a real wrestler, making each point with a chest chop! Freedom is holding his chest in pain and Vaughn let's him get about as far as the center of the ring before he grabs Freedom and hits a tilt a whirl armdrag sending Freedom back into the corner. Vaughn charges at Sullivan and hits "Get Out Of My Ring!" and Referee Crash warns him not to do it again! Vaughn just shrugs as the crowd boos him and Vaughn just smiles that shit eating grin of his. Meanwhile, Freedom tries to pull himself up with the ropes only to get hit by Miller on the apron with two fingers into the eyes of Freedom. Freedom is down on the mat as Vaughn picks him up again and tosses Freedom into the ropes. Freedom bounces backs...SITDOWN JAWBREAKER by Vaughn! Vaughn then hits "Insult to Injury" while talking more trash to Paul Freedom!

Arthur La Forge: That move is nothing more than just to embarrass an opponent…

Mary DeSue: Hey. Remember he did that to Guy Manson…on the remains of a flaming ladder…so it can hurt.

Vaughn picks up Freedom and heads over to tag in Miller but Freedom gets one foot in front of Vaughn and trips him! Vaughn falls forward off balance right into Bam Miller! The two collide, no tag made, as Miller loses his footing for a moment on the ring apron almost eats s[bleep] on the outside! Freedom starts crawling slowly towards Sullivan. The fans are so rabid for this hot tag you can swear some are foaming at the mouth in the front row...either that or they got a sell on alka seltzer at the commissary. Vaughn rushes to grab Freedom from behind. Sullivan reaches out and we see her fingers touch Freedoms!! Vaughn doesn't see it and back suplexes Freedom. Crash says the tag's been made and Vaughn gets up only to eat boot from a "Sick Kick"! Vaughn goes backwards as Freedom gets up and sees him coming. Freedom grabs Vaughn's head and hits a picture perfect bulldog and then rolls out of the ring to get back to his corner. Sullivan see's Miller out of the corner coming towards her. She catches Miller in a belly to belly suplex! She grabs Vaughn and Miller...NOGGIN KNOCKER!!

Arthur La Forge: A meeting of the minds!

Mary DeSue: A credible contusion for a certified lawsuit!

Freedom is back in the corner and slamming his hand on the turnbuckle pad getting a "Sullivan" chant started and Sullivan obliges the fans by tossing Miller into the corner. "Sick Kick"! sends Miller over the ropes and to the outside. She turns to Vaughn who starts to beg her off. He was just kidding he says. Sullivan has a sense of humor right? She picks up Vaughn and tosses him into the ropes. She goes for a clothesline. He ducks...REVENGED!! COVER BY VAUGHN!!!

One...

VAUGHN HAS HIS FEET ON THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE...

TWO...

CRASH SEE'S IT AND CALLS OFF THE COUNT!

Arthur La Forge: Caught by the ref!

Mary DeSue: How can Crash see? I thought he was cross eyed.

Vaughn argues with the referee for a moment, but doesn't lose focus as he tags in Miller and they got to work on Sullivan with stomps and punches to wear down the fresher superstar. They pick up Sullivan and toss her into the ropes...Going for a double suplex...No...Blocked...DOUBLE DDT BY SULLIVAN!! Sullivan gets up and tags in Freedom. Freedom gets on the mat face first and Sullivan grabs his legs...and starts to swing Freedom around in a circle!! SULLIVAN SPIN!! Freedom starts tossing punches left and right as it hits Vaughn and Miller with lefts and rights until finally Sullivan releases Freedom straight into Miller and Freedom turns hitting Miller with a flying pele kick! Miller goes down!

One...

Vaughn charges but gets grabbed by Sullivan...

Two...

THREE!!...Miller kicks out a second to late!

DING DING DING!!

Mr. Rad: Here are your winners...and advancing in The Multiplayer Tournament...Jack Sullivan and Paul Freedom!!

Arthur La Forge: What a spectacular tag team finishing move!

Mary DeSue: She literally yeeted a mother f[bleep]er into another mother f[bleep]er!

Vaughn is livid with Crash as Crash tells him the call stands. Paul Freedom is celebrating in the ring, but gets grabbed from behind by Miller..."MILLER TIME!"!! Sullivan charges at Miller but gets grabbed by Vaughn with the "Revenged"! The two eliminated tag team members are pissed, but leave the ring.

Arthur La Forge: Those two dirty cheats couldn’t take losing fairly!

Mary DeSue: They didn’t cheat. If they had cheated they would have won ya big dummy!

—

Buster Gloves vs Chelsea Skye

Arthur LaForge: Alright, Level Updogs, it’s time for our Main Event of the evening that will see the Wisdom Title at stake!

Mary DeSue: Please, Artie. There may be a title at stake, but regardless we’re going to end up on the losing end.

Arthur LaForge: Why do you say that, Mary? Buster Gloves has so far been an admirable and respectful champion, while Chelsea Skye is showing great progress and momentum as she earned this title shot.

Mary DeSue: Okay, yeah, right. Maybe Chelsea has a chance of making the Wisdom title a smidge more interesting, but if Buster holds onto it? We’re in for a dead fish reign in Dadbro Hell!

Arthur LaForge: Tell us how you really feel, but later because if we don’t get to Mr Rad for the introductions, Twitch will cut us off before this match ends!

As Chelsea Skye makes her entrance to an ovation from the crowd, we cut to a shot of Riley Heart sitting in one of the front row seats at ringside. When they make eye contact, Riley begins shouting something Twitch cannot audibly pick up. Chelsea says something back, but generally maintains her composure to focus on her title opportunity as she enters the ring. Buster Gloves makes his entrance with the Wisdom Championship around his waist, and Emily Simms by his side in a sexy white dress. She wraps her arms around one of Buster’s as they walk to the ring together. Riley Heart grabs somebody’s popcorn just so she can start throwing bits of it at the couple, and Emily directs she and Buster the opposite way from Riley to enter the ring. Buster helps Emily in by holding the ring ropes open, and Emily unfastens the Wisdom title from around Buster’s waist, handing it over to Senior Referee Kirby, who holds the title belt up to cheers from the crowd. As Emily exits the ring, Riley begins shouting threats at her, and Simms maintains a healthy distance at ringside, leaving Riley to munch on the popcorn that she hasn’t thrown at anyone. Ref Kirby gives instructions to both competitors, checks that they are ready, and calls for the bell!

DING DING

Arthur LaForge: Riley Heart appears to be an interested spectator for this title match. You have to wonder if she’s going to try and make things uncomfortable for, well, everybody.

Mary DeSue: As far as I’m concerned, she’s the one who adds some spice to this snoozefest. Why can’t she be in the match?

Arthur LaForge: For one thing, she didn’t earn the opportunity, Mary.

Mary DeSue: How dare you say such things when Riley brings such a flare for the dramatic. I hear she styles herself after me.

Chelsea Skye and Buster Gloves meet in the middle of the ring. Buster extends his hand, and Chelsea briefly shakes it before launching a series of strikes to Buster’s legs immediately afterwards. Gloves quickly backpedals and Chelsea presses him towards the ropes. She goes to grab his arm and Buster yanks it back, causing her to step awkwardly as she wasn’t expecting him to pull away. Buster sees the hint of an opening and juts in close, lifting Chelsea up in a fireman’s carry. He goes to send her up and over behind him with an Elevated Neckbreaker, but Chelsea lands on her feet and grabs Buster, running him off the ropes to roll him up!

ONE!

TW— BUSTER KICKS OUT!

Arthur LaForge: Quick moves by Chelsea Skye to start us off, and she nearly surprised Buster.

Mary DeSue: I wish I could say I was surprised she couldn’t get the job done, but she’s never won a title here!

Arthur LaForge: Not yet, but this match is far from over.

Mary DeSue: Keep your optimism in your pants, Artie.

Chelsea and Buster stand at about the same time and Buster gets aggressive, coming with a clothesline that Chelsea straight drops to crouch, barely avoiding it. Before the Wisdom Champion turns back around, Skye pivots and shoots a leg out with a Dropkick that connects behind Buster’s knee, buckling him to the mat. She quickly grabs him in a rear headlock and drops Gloves with a Reverse DDT. Chelsea then looks towards the ropes and points to cheers from the LEVEL UPDOGS. She ascends the second rope before checking on Buster, and seeing him begin to stir. The Nightmare Angel remains with her back to the champion, but only momentarily as she leaps and bounces off the top rope with a Split Legged Moonsault. It hits Buster as he’s on his hands and knees, crushing him back down to the mat. Chelsea covers!

ONE!

TWO!

TH—NO! BUSTER KICKS OUT!

Mary DeSue: This Nightmare Angel is actually flashing some moves.

Arthur LaForge: Agreed, Mary! Chelsea is a spitfire who brings a sensational barrage of offense. It would be dangerous for Buster to find himself in too many of these frenetic chain combos of the Nightmare Angel. She could score a pinfall on any of them.

Mary DeSue: Artie, DON’T get my hopes up!

Chelsea attempts to transition into her CLIPPED WINGED ANGEL finishing Triangle Choke, but Buster is too quick to recognize it and rolls away before popping up into a crouch and diving at Chelsea, who sat for the submission attempt. Buster zeroes in on Skye’s head with a Diving Elbow strike that floors Skye. The Wisdom Champion pops to his feet and lets himself fall with an elbow drop. It misses the mark as Chelsea rolls away and as both get up once more the challenger fires off a Superkick that Gloves catches! Chelsea looks surprised before the Wisdom Champ throws her leg to one side, the inertia spinning Skye around and allowing the champion to secure a rear waistlock – The Bull's Eye! Buster hits the Streets of Rage Release German Suplex and Chelsea is prone on the mat… and so is Gloves! Both lay on the mat as the crowd pops in appreciation for the competitive back-and-forth while Emily Simms slaps the apron to cheer Buster on. The Wisdom Champion crawls his way over to Skye for a cover… and lays an arm over her!

ONE!

TWO!

CHELSEA KICKS OUT!

Arthur LaForge: You can see how even hitting the Bull’s Eye, the Wisdom Champion had to take a moment before he could pin Skye. He’s feeling the effects of the Nightmare Angel’s offense.

Mary DeSue: G.I. Dadbro is out here needing some rehydration. Where’s Emily Simms with his DadWater?

Buster lifts Chelsea’s leg, perhaps for an Ankle Lock, but has his arms kicked off by Skye. He continues to pressure her by leaning back in, and Chelsea kicks the knee she had targeted earlier, causing Buster to stumble. Chelsea gets up and runs the ropes, going for a Leg Lariat that sails over the champion, who sees it coming and stays crouched down. The challenger uses her agility to bounce off her non-lariating leg into a backflip… and lands a Pele Kick to Buster’s head! Gloves is knocked down to the mat and Chelsea springs off the second rope with an Asai Moonsault! She isn’t done, either, going to the top rope and waiting for Buster to get to his feet… then leaps with a Hurricanrana and… CONNECTS! Buster is sent flying to one side of the ring while the crowd goes wild for the challenger’s efforts! Chelsea scrambles to get to Buster… but he rolls outside of the ring to a waiting Emily Simms. Buster holds his head and tests his leg as Emily gives a tentative glance at Riley Heart, who is sitting at the far end of the same side where they’re standing. The distraction means she doesn’t notice Chelsea Skye come SOARING OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A TOPE SUICIDA!! BUSTER ABSORBS THE FULL FORCE OF THE INCOMING CHALLENGER AND PROTECTS SIMMS!!

Arthur LaForge: ICARUS’ ARROW! Chelsea went for broke with a Tope Suicida and Buster took the hit for Emily and himself! Gloves has to start worrying about how many big moves he’s been hit with by Skye, who could pin him right now if she can get him in the ring.

Mary DeSue: Pin him! Give me something to celebrate at the end of this show!

The Nightmare Angel gets up and roars to the crowd, who return her enthusiasm. She is fired up and shoots a look Riley Heart’s way, motioning that ‘See? This is how you do it!’ Heart looks like she’s beginning to froth at the mouth as the popcorn she had starts coming out as she screams back insults towards Skye. Meanwhile, Emily is trying to rouse Buster, who is in all kinds of pain on the floor. She backs off as Chelsea returns her attention to the match, and with some effort lifts Gloves up and onto the apron. She is about to push him into the ring, but stops. Skye decides instead to go onto the apron herself, then to the top rope… 450 SPLASH ONTO THE APRON! IT MISSES! Buster pulled himself into the ring using the ropes and Chelsea crashes onto the apron!

Mary DeSue: MOTHER (CENSORED) WHY!

Arthur LaForge: For a moment, I thought you were going to say Mother Brain and become One Of Us.

Mary DeSue: UGH NEVER! This is turning into a disaster and I don’t mean Chelsea’s last adult film!

Arthur LaForge: Uh, did you actually watch…

Mary DeSue: SHUT IT, ARTIE!

Chelsea Skye rolls off the apron to the floor and Buster catches a breather as Ref Kirby puts in a count…

One!

Two!

Three!

Emily Simms watches as Skye begins to get to her hands and knees…

Four!

Five!

As Buster Gloves uses the ropes to pull himself up, Chelsea does the same with the apron dressing, getting to a vertical base…

Six!

Seven!

Chelsea gets onto the apron adjacent Buster. As the Wisdom Champion sees her, he charges— SPEAR BY CHELSEA THROUGH THE ROPES! Buster is laid flat on the mat and Chelsea goes for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THR— BUSTER WITH A SHOULDER UP!

Mary DeSue: Woohoo! Chelsea back on track. Keep pushing DadBro, he can’t have much left.

Arthur LaForge: A Spear through the ropes floors Buster Gloves, and I’m with you, Mary. How much could Buster have left? Chelsea has been worn down, too, and she may want to start thinking about her Skye’s The Limit finisher to put this away while she can.

Chelsea Skye immediately gets up, feeling a second wind, and as Buster makes his way up she comes off the ropes and lands a Flying Clothesline on Buster. The Nightmare Angel then stalks Gloves as Emily Simms tries to warn the wounded champion of her presence. Chelsea goes for a Step Up Enziguri and it whiffs! Buster ducks and Chelsea lands with a thud. Buster does not wait on Skye to get back up, grabbing her and pops her into the air for a Shoryuken he calls [b[The Level Uppercut![/i][/i][/b] SKYE SPRINGS OFF BUSTER’S CHEST IN A BEAUTIFUL BACKFLIP BEFORE HE CAN CONNECT! She lands on her feet just as Buster lands. Both competitors have the same idea to go off opposite ropes… Buster goes for a Lariat BUT CHELSEA CUTS HIM DOWN WITH ANOTHER SPEAR! [/i]

NO! AS THEY LAND WE SEE BUSTER CAUGHT CHELSEA’S ARM IN A KIMURA LOCK!

Arthur LaForge: It looked like Chelsea was going to pull off a remarkable counteroffensive to the champion, but Buster isn’t coaching submissions at the Champion’s Advantage Performance Center for nothing! He caught Chelsea in just the position for that Kimura lock.

Mary DeSue: This sucks! Don’t tap out Chelsea! I’m going to need a double dose of gummies if it ends this way.

Chelsea realizes what’s happened and begins shifting her lower body to try and get some leverage, but Buster is a master of submission wrestling and it doesn’t get her too far. Chelsea then tries to grab at the arm of Buster but he only wrenches the hold and she cries out in pain. Buster checks where they are positioned to make sure he is closer to the ropes as Chelsea’s hand wavers in the air. The pain is considerable and she’s feeling the pressure of the Wisdom Champion’s iron grip. Chelsea’s hand begins to waver…

… and goes limp! Ref Kirby goes to check on her, lifting the arm up once… it falls!

For a second time, he lifts Skye’s arm… and it falls again!

Buster keeps the hold locked in, not wanting to prematurely let go as Ref Kirby raises the hand a third and final time…

…

Chelsea rips her hand from Kirby’s grasp and drives her fingers into the ribcage of Buster!

Arthur LaForge: Chelsea Skye is still in this title match!

Mary DeSue: Bite him, scratch his eyes, anything! Just don’t lose and allow this DadBro Era to continue!

The Nightmare Angel squeezes with all her might and Buster yells out as the cartilage is attacked… yet he manages to maintain the Kimura Lock! Skye got what she wanted, though, as it bought her invaluable moments to maneuver just enough to get a foot on the bottom rope! Ref Kirby tells Buster to release the hold and he complies, immediately grabbing his ribs. Chelsea drags herself to her feet, and winces as she tests her arm. She sees Buster standing and immediately goes for a Superkick to the ribs that Buster covers— No, it was a feint! Chelsea reloads and hits a Superkick to the worked over knee of the Wisdom Champion! Gloves’ knee again buckles and he grabs the ropes to keep balance… NOW Chelsea with the Superkick to the exposed ribs! Buster goes to the mat and Chelsea quickly springs up and over with a Standing Moonsault, driving her full body weight into those ribs. She then bounces up and CLIMBS EACH RUNG OF THE TURNBUCKLE TO THE TOP— SKYE’S THE LIMIT!!! SHE ENGULFS BUSTER WITH THE PHOENIX SPLASH BUT IMMEDIATELY GRABS HER ARM! But only for a moment as Chelsea makes a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREENO!! BUSTER GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!

Cheslea looks stunned as she checks with Ref Kirby, who maintains it was just a moment short of a three, and she slaps the mat.

Arthur LaForge: Chelsea Skye HIT Skye’s The Limit, but that mere moment of hesitation due to Buster’s submission work allows him to continue his Wisdom title reign for the moment. This is exciting stuff, Mary!

Mary DeSue: Exciting? Everytime Buster kicks out, I have to check for the barf bag I put here somewhere… but someone stole it!

Arthur LaForge: At least there wasn’t anything in it this time.

Mary DeSue: No, I’m not making THAT mistake again.

With both competitors looking weary, Skye eyes Buster Gloves, who is impersonating an accordion as he holds both his ribs and knee. Emily Simms tries to get the crowd behind Buster, but there are dueling chants!

LET’S GO BUSTER!

NIGHTMARE ANGEL!

LET’S GO BUSTER!

NIGHTMARE ANGEL!

Mary DeSue: Oh shut it you pack of NERD DOGS!

Arthur LaForge: The LEVEL UPDOGS are fully invested in both Chelsea and Buster! After this performance, I think they would be happy with either one winning.

Chelsea knows she’s close and doesn’t want the opportunity to slip away. She gets back up, her arm that was in the Kimura hanging at her side. She uses her good arm to once again go to the apron, and then ascends to the top rope. As she’s measuring the distance between herself and Buster, the challenger turns at the unhinged shouting of none other than Riley Heart! Chelsea cannot ignore the vitriol coming from Heart, stuff that Twitch has to bleep out multiple times. Amidst the intermittent mutes, there is one thing that comes through as Heart stands in her seat…

Riley Heart: Where was this in Hawaii, HUH?!? YOU HAD (CENSORED) NOTHING ON ME AT SUPER ADVENTURE ISLAND! I BEAT YOUR (CENSORED) (CENSORED) ASS ALL OVER THAT ISLAND, (CENSORED)!!

Arthur LaForge: Come on, Riley, this is our Main Event title match. We don’t need you to ruin it with your sour attitude.

Mary DeSue: Yeah, that’s my schtick! But I gotta admit, Artie, she’s throwing some fire. Twitch needs to be on their toes tonight.

Arthur LaForge: All we need is to be banned during our Main Event… wait a minute… WHAT IS CHELSEA THINKING HERE?!?

Chelsea had heard more than enough, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She turns and LEAPS OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE INTO THE CROWD WITH SKYE’S THE LIMIT!! SHE WIPES OUT RILEY HEART AND HERSELF IN THE PROCESS!!! THE CROWD EXPLODES AT CHELSEA’S SUDDEN CHANGE IN COURSE!

HOLY (CENSORED)! (CENSORED EARLY) SHIT! HOLY SHIT! (CENSORED LATE)

Mary DeSue: YOUR (CENSORED) TALK DREW HER IN RILEY BABY! NOW BEAT HER TRAMP(CENSORED) ASS!

Arthur LaForge: Mary, please! We have to keep the peace here, even if Chelsea Skye and Riley Heart are clearly reigniting their personal war with one another. Even so, what in the name of STAR FOX was Chelsea thinking?? She could have killed herself with that Skye’s the Limit INTO THE STANDS!

Mary DeSue: How much does she despise Riley Heart? I bet that much and more! But it won’t stop Riley from taking Chelsea’s Heart. Damn I’m good.

The arena is quickly becoming all kinds of wild as Buster Gloves gets to his feet and looks around. Emily directs him to the crowd, where Chelsea Skye and Riley Heart are trying to get out from under a small pile of steel chairs that they crashed into upon Chelsea’s landing. Fortunately the fans were able to get out of the way before the crash, and now referees and Waluigis come pouring out from backstage to separate the two. RILEY HEART PIEFACES WALINK AND POURS HER REMAINING POPCORN OVER HIM! Riley is restrained and suddenly the LEVELUPTRON comes to life…

Mr Rad: Riley Heart, you have clearly been instigating this entire Wisdom Championship match. Therefore, by order of Referee Kirby, and backed by Trent Steel… you are BANNED FROM RINGSIDE for the remainder of this match!

Arthur LaForge: What a bombshell ruling! Riley Heart must leave!

Riley’s rage peaks as she strains and kicks against three Waluigis who are carrying her through the stands and backstage. Meanwhile, Chelsea Skye falls over the barricade to ringside, where she is trying to get up and make it back to the ring. The Wisdom Champion does not immediately take advantage, instead allowing space for Skye to reenter the ring.

Mary DeSue: I don’t even know what Chelsea Skye has left. Like I didn’t even expect her to make it back to the ring after basically stage diving into the stands.

Arthur LaForge: That’s a valid question, Mary. I’m not sure if that daredevil decision from the Nightmare Angel didn’t take everything she had left. Buster is showing great respect by letting Chelsea back into the ring without attacking, something he’s shown before.

Mary DeSue: Is it any wonder why he’s the dull thrumming white noise of Level Up?

Arthur LaForge: You can’t say this match isn’t providing us plenty of action, Mary. Inside and outside of the ring!

Ref Kirby checks on Chelsea, asking if she wants to continue the match. Skye gives a curt nod of affirmation and Kirby decides to allow the Wisdom Championship match to proceed! Buster is cautious but Chelsea comes in as she did at the start of the match, aiming kicks at the knee of Buster. Champion avoids challenger this time, sidestepping and rolling away to get behind Chelsea, before lifting her for a Saito Suplex. Chelsea lands on her bad arm’s shoulder and writhes in pain. Buster immediately looks for the Kimura again, but Skye has forearms for the champ and eludes his grasp. She gets back up and manages to square up Buster for a standing Hurricanrana before going off the ropes and connecting with a short Hurricanrana while Buster is on his knees, creating a Leg Driving DDT to the mat! Buster flops down and Chelsea looks again to lock in the Clipped Wing Angel!!! Buster is facedown and as the Nightmare Angel goes for the Triangle Hold on the champ, Buster manages to struggle to a standing base… WITH CHELSEA ON HIS SHOULDERS! Chelsea switches her plan, and starts raining down punches on Buster, who looks dazed… and he falls back with an Electric Chair Drop! Skye lands hard on the mat and clutches her arm in pain. Buster shakes some cobwebs from his head and pulls himself up. He waits for Chelsea to get to her feet and clinches her— Richmond Knee Party! Buster connects with Muay Thai Streets of Rage styled Knee Strikes before leaving Skye out on her feet and winding up for The Heartbreaker! The Falcon Punch hits home and Chelsea crumples to the mat as Buster makes a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE— NO!

CHELSEA SKYE CRADLES BUSTER GLOVES!!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE— NO!

GLOVES POPS HIS SHOULDERS UP AND ENDS UP BEHIND SKYE! HE APPLIES A CHOKE ON CHELSEA!

Arthur LaForge: A unique ‘kickout’ from Buster, who is now getting up with the cho— MOTHER BRAIN! That isn’t just any chokehold. He’s got the SOUL CRUSHER!!! applied!

Mary DeSue: Damn it, Buster, don’t crush our souls by retaining that title!

Despite Mary’s wishes, the crowd is eating up the move/countermove matchup by these fan favorites. A keen eye would note the Standing D’Arce Choke is imperfect, owing to the position it was initially applied in, and Chelsea managed to keep a hand between Buster’s arm and her throat. The Nightmare Angel uses the afforded oxygen to gather herself and spring up and off the near ropes, sailing her body over Buster, who is forced to break the hold or be overtaken! Chelsea lands awkwardly behind Buster and goes for the back of his knee in a Chop Block! The Wisdom Champion falters but Chelsea doesn’t wait to see, running off the ropes. On the return, she scales Buster like a spidery Nightmare Angel, bouncing off his chest onto his shoulder and into a DDT! NO! Buster holds on before the lighter Skye can bring him down, but the strain on his bad knee is apparent as his face is screwed up in agony. But this Wisdom Champion knows his limits, and he still has wiggle room. Buster forces Chelsea up and props her backfirst onto his shoulders before…

THE OBLITERATOR!!!

BUSTER LAYS ON THE MAT, CLUTCHING HIS KNEE AS CHELSEA LAYS PRONE ON THE MAT! Emily Simms pleads with Gloves to make a cover… and after a couple seconds he is on Skye and hooks a leg!

ONE!


TWO!

…

…

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Mr Rad: Your winner of this match… AND STIIIIIIIILLLL LEVEL UP WRESTLING WISDOM CHAMPION… BUUUUSTERRRR GLOOOOVESSSSS!!!

Arthur LaForge: It’s safe to say the Level Updogs got everything from both of these wrestlers tonight! In the end, it’s the Wisdom Champion still standing tall and on course to make his reign a memorable one by showing his superior wrestling acumen.

Mary DeSue: Chelsea Skye, why must you tease us so?? I thought she had Buster done for, and was going to give the Wisdom Title a mature lesson! We ended up with the same ending we’ve seen for months, with DadBro keeping that belt.

Arthur LaForge: Chelsea Skye deserves a hell of a lot of credit for the run for his money she gave the champ, but she couldn’t quite scale the wall that is Buster Gloves. This guy has been nothing short of a dominant force in Level Up, this year and since he debuted last year. If he keeps up these winning ways, he’ll be an early favorite to win at Triforce Heroes.

Emily Simms gets into the ring and practically dives onto Buster Gloves, who is still on the mat. He’s exhausted, hurting, and still the Wisdom Champion. Emily helps him to his feet and once she sees he is alright to stand, walks over to Ref Kirby and offers to take the Wisdom Championship. Meanwhile, Buster looks next to him and finds Chelsea Skye standing and holding her arm. The two look at each other, and then the crowd as they receive a raucous ovation for their work in the ring! Chelsea watches as Buster offers his hand for her… and she shakes his hand! Having fought with her all tonight, the Nightmare Angel turns and leaves the ring. Buster turns his attention back to Emily Simms, who is now holding the title belt out for him. Buster takes one step towards her when…

The arena lights go out!

Arthur LaForge: What? Way to mess up a heartwarming moment, ComEd.

Mary DeSue: More like saved us from almost certain lovey-dovey ickiness, Artie. Wait, are we still on? Is the show over? Can I reload my wee—

Mary stops mid-thought as the lights come back on. We find Buster Gloves standing in the ring, but both Emily Simms and the Wisdom Championship are nowhere to be found!

Arthur LaForge: Wait, where’s Emily Simms? Where is the Wisdom Title??

Mary DeSue: Ha, I guess Buster can’t have any nice things, tonight! Bye bye girlfriend, bye bye title! Even when he wins, Buster ends up with a wet blanket.

Arthur LaForge: LEVEL UPDOGS, we need to get to the bottom of this Missing Person and Missing Title case, but we’re out of time! Check out the Level Up website and Twitch for updates as we receive them. Until we hit Continue at EXP 29… goodnight!


—

CREDITS