Post by jasonryan on Oct 7, 2022 23:58:21 GMT -5
Jason is seen wearing a very nice black suit and bis clear mask. He stands in front of a podium, a large, framed picture of Amber Payne being carted away by paramedics is beside him. An empty coffin is in front of the podium. With a smirk Jason clears his throat and begins to speak.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you are watching this, then you are here to witness the eulogy of Amber Payne's wrestling career. But this is not meant to be a mourning of the departed, but it is a celebration of the future. Namely the future of Level up and all of professional wrestling, the greatest of a generation, the ratings drawer, the golden boy of the upcoming new era of Level Up, the one and only, Jason Ryan. And right now I would like to play the footage of the demise of Amber Payne.
A montage of all the things Jason has put Amber Payne through appears on screen. It shows him dislocating her elbow, it shows him attacking Amber Payne several times, it shows him piledriving her on exposed concrete, before concluding with her being carted away. When the camera shows Jason again, he makes a big show of pretending to be sad, wiping away fake tears and pretending to blow his nose.
Hahahahahahaha! Ah man, can you guys imagine the impact that rang through her head when I drove her skull into the steel steps?! I know I heard it, the front row heard it. And you guys wanna hear the best part? I have it on very good authority that we will never see Amber Payne again. In fact, it's very possible she will never wrestle again. In short, what I promised came to pass. I took her dreams and one by one I executed them. She will never become a world champion, she will never be in the main event. But my favorite part is she let her friends down. She was unable to do anything to be the hero she always saw herself as and aspired to be. Now don't get me wrong, when someone so young is forced to retire, it is a tragedy... for all of you. But this begs a simple question, what if?
What if Amber did what I told her and walked away? Because I gave her the chance to walk away people. To leave my company, to leave my industry. I warned her of the consequences. It's not my fault she's as stupid as she looks. I may be God but I refuse to accept responsibility for how much of a failure my creation has become. You're not my problem. I'm yours. And now, it is time for the ten bell salute. If all you watching could please be silent for the ten chimes.
Jason bows his head for the ten bell salute
Ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding..-
Actually on second thought, to hell with that! Amber sucked so her shitty career doesn't get respect, even at the end! Yeah! Yeah! Boooooo me right? Yeah. Booooo! Boooooo! Yeah whatever, make like a pin wheel and blow me viewers. Now, let's take about the next EXP shall we? Joey Crash, you must have pissed off fate itself. Because you have a date with the most dangerous man in the history of this company. You have to face the man who has become the number one bad guy here. Oh sure, other villains may have gold, or may have their faces on all the merch, but how many other people have done what I have since I got here?
Now I have it on good authority that you are the end result of inbreeding. Trust me, I've seen that family tree bud, and good gods. You do know that's not what they mean by keep it in the family right? But anyway, before I get further off topic, let's take a look at everything I have done since I got here. I started by ending the career at Brendan Hendrix. I broke that little bitch to the point he hasn't wrestled since. I robbed him of his manhood in front of his loving fans and made his weaker heart all the more fragile.
I have reduced the formerly invincible Buster Gloves into what you see now. The weak, whimpering, cowardly shadow of his former self is because of what I have been putting him and his mail order hooker through and what I plan to keep doing to them. Before me, Buster Gloves was full of life, he was the future of this company. And then I came along and reduced him to nothing! And now I have ended the career of Amber Payne. And this isn't the only company I have been active in. IN OPW, I ended the career of Dark Tiger.
What can I say Joey? I am the Darth Vader of this industry, and you don't have what it takes to be Luke Skywalker. I have put this entire industry on hard times for years. And I will not stop until everyone bows before me. All of you will kneel or you will be knelt. I am not going to stop running through this roster until I have the Final Boss title around my waist but why stop there? I am destined to become the greatest wrestler to ever live. Hell I am already given special treatment around here, it's a forgone conclusion at this point.
So Joey, at EXP 32, you are going to do the only thing of note your career will be remembered for. And that is lying down for The Best At What I Do. Muster Better Than You. And after I breeze past you, I will go one to create a legacy you can't even hope to touch and I don't plan to stop. This is just too much fun.
But there is a silver lining for you Crash Bandicoot. You see, once you fall into obscurity, I'll be nice enough to give your career a proper burial, again.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you are watching this, then you are here to witness the eulogy of Amber Payne's wrestling career. But this is not meant to be a mourning of the departed, but it is a celebration of the future. Namely the future of Level up and all of professional wrestling, the greatest of a generation, the ratings drawer, the golden boy of the upcoming new era of Level Up, the one and only, Jason Ryan. And right now I would like to play the footage of the demise of Amber Payne.
A montage of all the things Jason has put Amber Payne through appears on screen. It shows him dislocating her elbow, it shows him attacking Amber Payne several times, it shows him piledriving her on exposed concrete, before concluding with her being carted away. When the camera shows Jason again, he makes a big show of pretending to be sad, wiping away fake tears and pretending to blow his nose.
Hahahahahahaha! Ah man, can you guys imagine the impact that rang through her head when I drove her skull into the steel steps?! I know I heard it, the front row heard it. And you guys wanna hear the best part? I have it on very good authority that we will never see Amber Payne again. In fact, it's very possible she will never wrestle again. In short, what I promised came to pass. I took her dreams and one by one I executed them. She will never become a world champion, she will never be in the main event. But my favorite part is she let her friends down. She was unable to do anything to be the hero she always saw herself as and aspired to be. Now don't get me wrong, when someone so young is forced to retire, it is a tragedy... for all of you. But this begs a simple question, what if?
What if Amber did what I told her and walked away? Because I gave her the chance to walk away people. To leave my company, to leave my industry. I warned her of the consequences. It's not my fault she's as stupid as she looks. I may be God but I refuse to accept responsibility for how much of a failure my creation has become. You're not my problem. I'm yours. And now, it is time for the ten bell salute. If all you watching could please be silent for the ten chimes.
Jason bows his head for the ten bell salute
Ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding... ding..-
Actually on second thought, to hell with that! Amber sucked so her shitty career doesn't get respect, even at the end! Yeah! Yeah! Boooooo me right? Yeah. Booooo! Boooooo! Yeah whatever, make like a pin wheel and blow me viewers. Now, let's take about the next EXP shall we? Joey Crash, you must have pissed off fate itself. Because you have a date with the most dangerous man in the history of this company. You have to face the man who has become the number one bad guy here. Oh sure, other villains may have gold, or may have their faces on all the merch, but how many other people have done what I have since I got here?
Now I have it on good authority that you are the end result of inbreeding. Trust me, I've seen that family tree bud, and good gods. You do know that's not what they mean by keep it in the family right? But anyway, before I get further off topic, let's take a look at everything I have done since I got here. I started by ending the career at Brendan Hendrix. I broke that little bitch to the point he hasn't wrestled since. I robbed him of his manhood in front of his loving fans and made his weaker heart all the more fragile.
I have reduced the formerly invincible Buster Gloves into what you see now. The weak, whimpering, cowardly shadow of his former self is because of what I have been putting him and his mail order hooker through and what I plan to keep doing to them. Before me, Buster Gloves was full of life, he was the future of this company. And then I came along and reduced him to nothing! And now I have ended the career of Amber Payne. And this isn't the only company I have been active in. IN OPW, I ended the career of Dark Tiger.
What can I say Joey? I am the Darth Vader of this industry, and you don't have what it takes to be Luke Skywalker. I have put this entire industry on hard times for years. And I will not stop until everyone bows before me. All of you will kneel or you will be knelt. I am not going to stop running through this roster until I have the Final Boss title around my waist but why stop there? I am destined to become the greatest wrestler to ever live. Hell I am already given special treatment around here, it's a forgone conclusion at this point.
So Joey, at EXP 32, you are going to do the only thing of note your career will be remembered for. And that is lying down for The Best At What I Do. Muster Better Than You. And after I breeze past you, I will go one to create a legacy you can't even hope to touch and I don't plan to stop. This is just too much fun.
But there is a silver lining for you Crash Bandicoot. You see, once you fall into obscurity, I'll be nice enough to give your career a proper burial, again.
