Post by Eli Goode on Oct 11, 2022 19:00:03 GMT -5
“Journal Entry, Oct. 5, 2022,
I’m hurting. That’s all that I’ve been doing these past few months. I haven’t been able to feel any joy in my life. I can only think about the pain in my life. I know what physical pain feels like. Every time I enter the ring, I’m ready to experience physical pain. I welcome it with open arms. The adrenaline covers the pain though. It’s not until I get home that I actually feel the pain take over me. By that point, I don’t want the pain, but I accept it anyway. I always accept the physical pain of wrestling.
Now, it’s something different. I haven’t seen Katie in months. I haven’t seen Will in months. My heart breaks every time I think of them. All I want is to see my family again. Sure, I can see my dad or sister or mom anytime, but I miss… the people that made me whole. The people that saved me from the darkness. I was so lost without them. I couldn’t see where my future was going without them. When they were with me, I saw what I could look forward to. I could see a life past all of this. I didn’t think about the fallout of the next match. If I won a match, that was great. If I lost I match, that was fine. I was able to see them when I got home. I was able to be happy without wrestling. I began to think, ‘This is the time. I can hang up my boots and move on.’
But then Stratford happened. He came in and started weaving his web. I don’t care how he spins it. He can say it’s to help me all he wants, but that doesn’t matter to me. No, he’s taken my family away from me. That’s not helping me. That’s hurting me. That’s pushing me to the edge of a cliff hoping to see me jump into darkness. That’s what he wants. He wants to see me succumb to the darkness. He wants me to be the person I was. Well, that’s not going to happen. I don’t care where his allegiances lie. I don’t care if he truly cares about my well-being or not. All I care about is getting my family back. I want… No, need to talk to Katie. That’s the only way to make things better. I need her to know that I love her. I need her to hear from me.
I’ve known what it’s like to be alone for so long. Most of it has been by my own design. I caused Jack Michaels to break my arm. I caused Johnny Chaos to no longer trust me. I caused a lot of hurt in my life, but I didn’t cause this one. I didn’t cause Katie to leave. I did NOT do that! I’m going to talk to her. I’m going to hope she can understand what has been happening. I need her to understand. I… I can’t be alone anymore. I… I’m losing my drive to continue. I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to hang up my boots. But… But I can’t do that without her by my side. I need her support to help me carry on.
Am I putting too much pressure on her? I believe so, and I don’t mean to. I just need her. It’s not like needing my family. They’ll always be there, but Katie… She can leave whenever she desires, and she did. But she did without hearing me out. She was poisoned by Stratford’s words. Her family was poisoned by his words. I can’t stand by this any longer.
I’m going to talk to her. It may hurt me even more, but I need to talk to her. She needs to hear me out. She has to understand that I never wanted her to get involved in any of this. I never wanted anyone to hurt her. I… I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be secure. And I cost her that. I cost her everything, but I have to make things right. If I can’t… I won’t be able to continue.
So, I’m going to go talk to her. This may be the last time I ever talk to her, but I have to. If I don’t, all may be lost.
End of Entry.”
-----
On-Camera
Silence echoes throughout the theater. All the seats sit up without a single person in the audience. After a few seconds of silence, footsteps ring out in the theater as a dark figure walks to the center of the stage. A bright spotlight turns on as Eli Goode stands center stage with a red curtain closed behind him. He wears a three-piece suit as he looks ahead of him. A microphone stand stands in front of him with a microphone at the top. He takes in a deep breath as the music starts playing. Eli walks up to the microphone and sings.
“I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel.”
The curtain slowly rises off the ground to reveal a projection screen. Multiple clips of Eli’s entire career playing on the screen. Most of the clips are of Eli in stipulation matches. The clips show Eli falling from great heights, getting hit in the head with chairs, or getting thrown into a cage wall.
“I focus on the pain.
The only thing that’s real.”
The clips transition to moments Eli was put in submission moves by the likes of Jack Michaels, Johnny Chaos, and White Tiger. The clips show Eli screaming in pain but not giving up. Blood runs down Eli’s head, but he still refuses to give up.
“The needle tears a hole.
The old familiar sting.
Try to kill it all away.
But I remember everything.”
The music stops. Eli looks out to the audience and sees the light from the projection go dark. The only thing that can be heard is Eli’s breathing.
-----
Off-Camera
The sun shines in the sky of Overton Park. The vast greenery takes over the park as Katie and Will play in the grass. In the distance, Eli stands with his hands in his pockets. Eli looks over and sees Katie’s parents nearby. Eli takes a few steps into the park but stops. He looks at the ground and at the other people in the park. He tries to gain the courage over to them. He chuckles to himself when he thinks about the word courage.
He looks up and sees Katie staring at him. Eli tries to wave, but Katie does not wave back. Katie walks Will over to her parents. She tells them something, but Eli is too far to hear her. Katie puts on a fake smile trying to keep her parents calm. They take Will and walk out of the park. Katie stands only and rubs her forehead. There is a noticeable sigh as she turns back to Eli.
After a few seconds, Eli walks over toward her. He tries to put on a fake smile, but his face is not strong enough to actually smile. He finally reaches her. The two stare at each other for a few seconds before Katie crosses her arms,
“So, what are you doing here?”
“I…”
His words catch in his throat. He trembles a bit but keeps it hidden from her. He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it.
“I just wanted to talk to you. About everything.”
“Eli, I think we’re beyond talking. Someone invaded our home. Invaded my parents' home. Told me things about you that I don’t know if I can believe or not. Hell, you’re lucky that even willing to stand here and listen to you. But… with it having been three months, I thought I’d give you the chance to speak your piece.”
Eli remains silent. After telling himself that he was going to talk to Katie, he feels fear of finally having the chance to talk to her. She scoffs.
“I want you to talk for yourself, but you’re not making it easy for yourself. What, after months of being apart from each other this is all you can do? Stand there in silence? Eli, I thought you were better than…”
“I am, Katie. You just… you haven’t been seeing what I’ve been going through.”
“What you’ve been going through? What about what I’ve been going through? Constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure your little ‘pal’ doesn’t show up again. Making sure it is safe for Will to go to school. You’re lucky my parents didn’t see you. Otherwise, you might’ve had a bullet hole through you.”
“That’s a bit extreme.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t feel safe anymore. You use extreme measures.”
“Katie… I never wanted any of this for you. I never wanted my wrestling life to meet with my personal life. That’s why I never brought you to events. That’s why I never asked you to watch one of my shows. For once in my life, I wanted my personal life and my wrestling life to be two separate things. But…”
Eli cuts himself off as he rubs his face. A twinge of red slowly appears on Eli’s face.
“But Stratford had to break that. He was thinking the way to make me better was to find out about you, but it doesn’t make me better. It makes me angry. It makes me want to kill him, and that’s where I’m at Katie. He’s done so much to break everything that I care about that I just wanna kill him. My… My sanity is breaking. Every time I’m alone I punch a hole in a wall because of him. He’s made me want to hurt people. It’s all because he… He found a way to take you away from me.”
Eli walks over and sits on a bench near them. He looks at the ground and rubs his hands together. Tears start to drop onto the ground, but Eli hides this from Katie.
“For three months, I’ve been lost. I’ve been trying to find a reason to continue, but it’s been hard. You and Will… You both helped me find a purpose in life. I… I understand if you never want to see me. Even after this… But I just wanted to know that I miss you. I miss both of you. I don’t know what Stratford said to you, and I probably never will.”
Eli looks up at Katie. His eyes are red from the tears.
“He… He told me things about you. He said you lied to me. About your time at the hospital. Were you a patient?”
Eli takes a gulp and looks ahead of him.
“No… I lied about that.”
She scoffs and looks away from him.
“I was an observer, watching patients. I wanted to understand them so that way I can show people what it was truly like. My main hope was for people to no longer have a stigma about people in psychiatric hospitals. People only think poorly of those people, and I wanted to be a face that people could see as someone that was there. I wanted people to… find some hope in psychiatric hospitals.”
“So what? Your other half is fake too?”
Eli stands up from the bench and walks over to Katie.
“No, that guy is very real. I just never went to a hospital to treat that. All of the pills that I take are only for my epilepsy. Not for mental issues. I’ve… I’ve lied about that to everybody. I always thought I could help people like that, but now, I see that it’s only damaged a relationship that I cared about.”
“Does your family know it was fake?”
“No, but I’m going to change that. I want to make things right, but I can’t do that alone. Katie… I need you. I know you may not need me, but I need you.”
“Eli… no matter what, I love you. Even after all of this, I still love you, but I need more time. Just until this Stratford guy has moved beyond you. Until then, maybe we can work this out. But, you need to focus on yourself. I… I have to go. I can’t let Will wait any longer.”
Katie walks past Eli toward the parking lot. Eli feels his body wants to stop her, but he cannot force himself to move. He remains still. He looks at the park and sees many people playing with their loved ones. He closes his eyes and only thinks about the pain that fills his body. All he feels is… Hurt.
-----
On-Camera
Eli looks at the empty theater. The singular spotlight stays on him. He takes a few breaths and speaks into the microphone.
“So much pain. People try to hide from the pain, but that’s all I can feel now. I’m without her. I’m without them. All I have left is wrestling. I’ve never felt this alone in a long time. People look up to me and imagine me as an unbreakable spirit. Nothing can tear me down, but something did. Someone did.
For three months, Stephen Stratford has been haunting my dreams. You can say he’s been living rent-free in my head. People aren’t supposed to do that. People are supposed to be in one ear and out the other. But Stratford hasn’t left.
I’m going to be facing him in a ladder match for the Courage Championship. It’ll be the last match before TriForce Heroes. I wanna win the title. I wanna be the one that fights for the TriForce Title. But ultimately, I want to break Stephen Stratford.
I’ve already said enough about the guy. He knows how I feel about him. After this match, win or lose, I’m done with him. I can’t keep going with this man. So, Stephen, I hope you're ready for the match. I may not be mentally one hundred percent ready for the match, but I do know that I’m going to give it my all. I don’t care about anything else except breaking you.
I don’t have anything else to say to you. Let the match commence.”
Eli walks away from the microphone into the darkness. The spotlight slowly turns to darkness as everything goes black.
I’m hurting. That’s all that I’ve been doing these past few months. I haven’t been able to feel any joy in my life. I can only think about the pain in my life. I know what physical pain feels like. Every time I enter the ring, I’m ready to experience physical pain. I welcome it with open arms. The adrenaline covers the pain though. It’s not until I get home that I actually feel the pain take over me. By that point, I don’t want the pain, but I accept it anyway. I always accept the physical pain of wrestling.
Now, it’s something different. I haven’t seen Katie in months. I haven’t seen Will in months. My heart breaks every time I think of them. All I want is to see my family again. Sure, I can see my dad or sister or mom anytime, but I miss… the people that made me whole. The people that saved me from the darkness. I was so lost without them. I couldn’t see where my future was going without them. When they were with me, I saw what I could look forward to. I could see a life past all of this. I didn’t think about the fallout of the next match. If I won a match, that was great. If I lost I match, that was fine. I was able to see them when I got home. I was able to be happy without wrestling. I began to think, ‘This is the time. I can hang up my boots and move on.’
But then Stratford happened. He came in and started weaving his web. I don’t care how he spins it. He can say it’s to help me all he wants, but that doesn’t matter to me. No, he’s taken my family away from me. That’s not helping me. That’s hurting me. That’s pushing me to the edge of a cliff hoping to see me jump into darkness. That’s what he wants. He wants to see me succumb to the darkness. He wants me to be the person I was. Well, that’s not going to happen. I don’t care where his allegiances lie. I don’t care if he truly cares about my well-being or not. All I care about is getting my family back. I want… No, need to talk to Katie. That’s the only way to make things better. I need her to know that I love her. I need her to hear from me.
I’ve known what it’s like to be alone for so long. Most of it has been by my own design. I caused Jack Michaels to break my arm. I caused Johnny Chaos to no longer trust me. I caused a lot of hurt in my life, but I didn’t cause this one. I didn’t cause Katie to leave. I did NOT do that! I’m going to talk to her. I’m going to hope she can understand what has been happening. I need her to understand. I… I can’t be alone anymore. I… I’m losing my drive to continue. I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to hang up my boots. But… But I can’t do that without her by my side. I need her support to help me carry on.
Am I putting too much pressure on her? I believe so, and I don’t mean to. I just need her. It’s not like needing my family. They’ll always be there, but Katie… She can leave whenever she desires, and she did. But she did without hearing me out. She was poisoned by Stratford’s words. Her family was poisoned by his words. I can’t stand by this any longer.
I’m going to talk to her. It may hurt me even more, but I need to talk to her. She needs to hear me out. She has to understand that I never wanted her to get involved in any of this. I never wanted anyone to hurt her. I… I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be secure. And I cost her that. I cost her everything, but I have to make things right. If I can’t… I won’t be able to continue.
So, I’m going to go talk to her. This may be the last time I ever talk to her, but I have to. If I don’t, all may be lost.
End of Entry.”
-----
On-Camera
Silence echoes throughout the theater. All the seats sit up without a single person in the audience. After a few seconds of silence, footsteps ring out in the theater as a dark figure walks to the center of the stage. A bright spotlight turns on as Eli Goode stands center stage with a red curtain closed behind him. He wears a three-piece suit as he looks ahead of him. A microphone stand stands in front of him with a microphone at the top. He takes in a deep breath as the music starts playing. Eli walks up to the microphone and sings.
“I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel.”
The curtain slowly rises off the ground to reveal a projection screen. Multiple clips of Eli’s entire career playing on the screen. Most of the clips are of Eli in stipulation matches. The clips show Eli falling from great heights, getting hit in the head with chairs, or getting thrown into a cage wall.
“I focus on the pain.
The only thing that’s real.”
The clips transition to moments Eli was put in submission moves by the likes of Jack Michaels, Johnny Chaos, and White Tiger. The clips show Eli screaming in pain but not giving up. Blood runs down Eli’s head, but he still refuses to give up.
“The needle tears a hole.
The old familiar sting.
Try to kill it all away.
But I remember everything.”
The music stops. Eli looks out to the audience and sees the light from the projection go dark. The only thing that can be heard is Eli’s breathing.
-----
Off-Camera
The sun shines in the sky of Overton Park. The vast greenery takes over the park as Katie and Will play in the grass. In the distance, Eli stands with his hands in his pockets. Eli looks over and sees Katie’s parents nearby. Eli takes a few steps into the park but stops. He looks at the ground and at the other people in the park. He tries to gain the courage over to them. He chuckles to himself when he thinks about the word courage.
He looks up and sees Katie staring at him. Eli tries to wave, but Katie does not wave back. Katie walks Will over to her parents. She tells them something, but Eli is too far to hear her. Katie puts on a fake smile trying to keep her parents calm. They take Will and walk out of the park. Katie stands only and rubs her forehead. There is a noticeable sigh as she turns back to Eli.
After a few seconds, Eli walks over toward her. He tries to put on a fake smile, but his face is not strong enough to actually smile. He finally reaches her. The two stare at each other for a few seconds before Katie crosses her arms,
“So, what are you doing here?”
“I…”
His words catch in his throat. He trembles a bit but keeps it hidden from her. He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it.
“I just wanted to talk to you. About everything.”
“Eli, I think we’re beyond talking. Someone invaded our home. Invaded my parents' home. Told me things about you that I don’t know if I can believe or not. Hell, you’re lucky that even willing to stand here and listen to you. But… with it having been three months, I thought I’d give you the chance to speak your piece.”
Eli remains silent. After telling himself that he was going to talk to Katie, he feels fear of finally having the chance to talk to her. She scoffs.
“I want you to talk for yourself, but you’re not making it easy for yourself. What, after months of being apart from each other this is all you can do? Stand there in silence? Eli, I thought you were better than…”
“I am, Katie. You just… you haven’t been seeing what I’ve been going through.”
“What you’ve been going through? What about what I’ve been going through? Constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure your little ‘pal’ doesn’t show up again. Making sure it is safe for Will to go to school. You’re lucky my parents didn’t see you. Otherwise, you might’ve had a bullet hole through you.”
“That’s a bit extreme.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t feel safe anymore. You use extreme measures.”
“Katie… I never wanted any of this for you. I never wanted my wrestling life to meet with my personal life. That’s why I never brought you to events. That’s why I never asked you to watch one of my shows. For once in my life, I wanted my personal life and my wrestling life to be two separate things. But…”
Eli cuts himself off as he rubs his face. A twinge of red slowly appears on Eli’s face.
“But Stratford had to break that. He was thinking the way to make me better was to find out about you, but it doesn’t make me better. It makes me angry. It makes me want to kill him, and that’s where I’m at Katie. He’s done so much to break everything that I care about that I just wanna kill him. My… My sanity is breaking. Every time I’m alone I punch a hole in a wall because of him. He’s made me want to hurt people. It’s all because he… He found a way to take you away from me.”
Eli walks over and sits on a bench near them. He looks at the ground and rubs his hands together. Tears start to drop onto the ground, but Eli hides this from Katie.
“For three months, I’ve been lost. I’ve been trying to find a reason to continue, but it’s been hard. You and Will… You both helped me find a purpose in life. I… I understand if you never want to see me. Even after this… But I just wanted to know that I miss you. I miss both of you. I don’t know what Stratford said to you, and I probably never will.”
Eli looks up at Katie. His eyes are red from the tears.
“He… He told me things about you. He said you lied to me. About your time at the hospital. Were you a patient?”
Eli takes a gulp and looks ahead of him.
“No… I lied about that.”
She scoffs and looks away from him.
“I was an observer, watching patients. I wanted to understand them so that way I can show people what it was truly like. My main hope was for people to no longer have a stigma about people in psychiatric hospitals. People only think poorly of those people, and I wanted to be a face that people could see as someone that was there. I wanted people to… find some hope in psychiatric hospitals.”
“So what? Your other half is fake too?”
Eli stands up from the bench and walks over to Katie.
“No, that guy is very real. I just never went to a hospital to treat that. All of the pills that I take are only for my epilepsy. Not for mental issues. I’ve… I’ve lied about that to everybody. I always thought I could help people like that, but now, I see that it’s only damaged a relationship that I cared about.”
“Does your family know it was fake?”
“No, but I’m going to change that. I want to make things right, but I can’t do that alone. Katie… I need you. I know you may not need me, but I need you.”
“Eli… no matter what, I love you. Even after all of this, I still love you, but I need more time. Just until this Stratford guy has moved beyond you. Until then, maybe we can work this out. But, you need to focus on yourself. I… I have to go. I can’t let Will wait any longer.”
Katie walks past Eli toward the parking lot. Eli feels his body wants to stop her, but he cannot force himself to move. He remains still. He looks at the park and sees many people playing with their loved ones. He closes his eyes and only thinks about the pain that fills his body. All he feels is… Hurt.
-----
On-Camera
Eli looks at the empty theater. The singular spotlight stays on him. He takes a few breaths and speaks into the microphone.
“So much pain. People try to hide from the pain, but that’s all I can feel now. I’m without her. I’m without them. All I have left is wrestling. I’ve never felt this alone in a long time. People look up to me and imagine me as an unbreakable spirit. Nothing can tear me down, but something did. Someone did.
For three months, Stephen Stratford has been haunting my dreams. You can say he’s been living rent-free in my head. People aren’t supposed to do that. People are supposed to be in one ear and out the other. But Stratford hasn’t left.
I’m going to be facing him in a ladder match for the Courage Championship. It’ll be the last match before TriForce Heroes. I wanna win the title. I wanna be the one that fights for the TriForce Title. But ultimately, I want to break Stephen Stratford.
I’ve already said enough about the guy. He knows how I feel about him. After this match, win or lose, I’m done with him. I can’t keep going with this man. So, Stephen, I hope you're ready for the match. I may not be mentally one hundred percent ready for the match, but I do know that I’m going to give it my all. I don’t care about anything else except breaking you.
I don’t have anything else to say to you. Let the match commence.”
Eli walks away from the microphone into the darkness. The spotlight slowly turns to darkness as everything goes black.
