Post by jay on Mar 24, 2021 2:19:26 GMT -5
After the opening video kicks things off, Mr. Rad immediately boots up, a screen behind him showing confetti and party graphics. It seems he’s here to celebrate something.
Mr Rad: Welcoming to the ring at this time, she is the NEW Level Up Wrestling FINAL BOSS CHAMPION, the artist known as Magdalena Lockheart!
The opening drum riff of Puscifer's "Potions (Deliverance Mix)" opens over the public announce speakers. Soon after Maggie Magnificent emerges from behind the curtain. Lockheart steps out into the center of an indigo spotlight in street clothes and with the brand new Level Up Wrestling Final Boss championship title belt strapped around her waist. For a moment she stands at the top of the stage and briefly looks up to reveal her face, her forehead still bandaged from the damage she sustained during the Last of Us gauntlet. She steps down the ramp in rhythm with the music and turns toward the hard-camera side of the ring.
Arthur La Forge: We're going to kick things off tonight with our new champ! Let's hear what she has to say!
Mary DeSue: Ugh. I'd rather stab out my own eardrums with an unsharpened pencil or listen to white noise for thirty-six hours straight.
Maggie walks around the ring with the same structured pace, moving all of the way to the southeast ring post before pulling herself up onto the ring apron. She centers herself on the apron and stands facing the crowd.
Arthur La Forge: I don't understand the hate.
Mary DeSue: That's okay. You don't understand much of anything, Artie.
Lockheart looks out onto the Indianapolis crowd, who is giving her quite the ovation, both cheering and jeering alike. She pauses for a few moments before entering the ring and taking a microphone.
Arthur La Forge: Well, that's harsh. I was just about to say, you could always get that song stuck in your head again if you'd rather.
Mary DeSue: What song?
Arthur La Forge: You know, the one about it being Agatha All-
Mary DeSue: ...you bastard.
In the ring, the crowd has finally calmed down enough that Maggie is ready to speak. She brings the mic up to her lips.
Maggie Lockheart: You know, a little over two weeks ago I said that there would be a lot of guys and girls in the back that would tell you that they're "going to win The Last of Us gauntlet." I said that, even before the match began, that they'd try to crown themselves as the first Level Up Wrestling Final Boss Champion.
Lockheart briefly peers down at the belt she's wearing before looking back up to the crowd.
Maggie Lockheart: I refused to say those words because that's not who I am. It's not my style. I may not be the promising young up-and-comer that I once was, and I damn sure ain't one of Level Up's seasoned, battle-hardened ring veterans either, but I am who I am. A big part of being who I am is not just being able to talk the talk.
Arthur La Forge: I think Maggie proved at the pay-per-view that she can do a lot more than just talk the talk, though.
Mary DeSue: Would you mind being quiet for another minute or two? Thanks.
Arthur La Forge: I thought you'd rather-
Mary DeSue: Shh!
Maggie Lockheart: So, things happened two weeks ago. At The Last of Us, I stood toe-to-toe with 25 other players, from Jack Michaels to Lex Collins, and everyone in between. I was in the ring for over an hour, most of that bloody, battered, and bruised. But my goal was to look every single woman and man in the back in their eyes when they stepped through that curtain and into this ring. I wanted them to know just who and what they were dealing with.
Most of the crowd seems to cheer this, while others voice their displeasure.
Maggie Lockheart: ...and I think I paid the price for that. No, I know I've paid the price for this.
Maggie pulls the belt from around her waist and holds the championship up high to the crowd.
Maggie Lockheart: I know exactly what it cost to do what I set out to do, and if I had to face all twenty-five of them a second time I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. You see, having a goal to be the best in Level Up Wrestling is great, but you've got to be willing to come out here show after show and prove that you mean what you say. I know that by winning that gauntlet and by becoming your first Final Boss Champion that I've put a massive target on my back. But that's not the way I see it. My goal hasn't changed now that I have this, if anything I now have even more to prove. I know that there's still work to be done, I want to prove that I'm the best fighter in Level Up Wrestling and, for now, at least, instead of trying to find that fight, that fights gonna come to me.
Lockheart throws the championship belt over her shoulder and points to the curtain that leads to the back.
Maggie Lockheart: So, whichever one of you it is, all I have to say is that you had better be ready. The bar for this championship has already been set high but it's my job to push it even higher. I'm not saying that I'm going to hold this title for a year, two years, ten... Hell, I might even lose it in my first defense. But what I will say is that anyone who steps up had better be ready to take the heat. After what I went through to win this belt, you had better be prepared to bring that much and more if you want to take it away from me. Anything less would be a disappoi-
Maggie is interrupted as the fast-paced opening riff of “Ace of Spades” by Motörhead hits the PA-system and through the curtain walks “Old School Cool” Don Tirri, one-half of the champs opponents for the night. The Big Finn makes his way to the ring, jawing the fans as he goes. After fetching a microphone he slides into the ring and stands face to face with Maggie.
Don Tirri: First things first: Congratulations. If I had known the easiest way to win the belt was not saying you will, I woulda kept my silence for the entire two weeks. But that really wouldn’t have been my style now would it.
Maggie shakes her head 'no' as she watches Tirri circle her with measured steps, stopping in front of her.
Don Tirri: Ya know. I never got a proper look of you before. Gotta say you seem like a good choice to represent the company. At least aesthetically. But that’s neither here nor there. There IS something I feel like I need to do. Something that has been a tradition for longer than you’ve lived Mags.
Tirri lowers the mic and pulls his hand back as if to wind up a punch, only to chuckle and extend his hand for a shake. Maggie looks at the outstretched hand of Tirri after glancing at the smirk on his face.
Maggie Lockheart: Hold up.
Instead of shaking Don's hand right away, she stands cautiously, almost in a defensive posture.
Maggie Lockheart: I thought we moved off of my looks and onto my personality... or was I too bland to have one? Whatever. You want to come out here and interrupt me and then act like you're making nice? It's not that I don't want to trust you, Tirri, it's that I don't see a reason why I should. I know what you really want, and I doubt it has anything to do with tradition or respect. So what- is now about the time when Jenny's gonna come hopping out of the crowd or something?
Don cocks his head to the side and shrugs, lowering his hand hesitantly.
Don Tirri: You know. First off, if that creep jumps out of the crowd, I got nothing to do with it. I don’t want anything to do with her any more than you do. Secondly: Yes. That title. EVERYONE wants it, Maggie. But you gotta get over the fact that everyone is gunning for it and stop acting like we’re just a bunch of rabid dogs ready to pounce at you simply because you got some hardware.
Don starts to pace a bit, looking at Maggie thoughtfully, never turning his back though.
Don Tirri: See, here’s the thing. Tradition and Respect are more than just buzzwords for me Mags. I have the nickname I have for a reason. For me, we wrestlers, we are like the Knights of medieval times. Sure, we will beat the absolute crap out of each other if we are placed on opposite sides. But we all have our own code of honor and respect that we follow. So yeah. I could have just assaulted you out of the crowd like so many would have. Like Eli Goode-for-nothing might have. But that is not how I roll. You took umbrage to what I said in my promo for Last of Us. And that's fair enough. But here’s the thing.
He pauses for a moment to measure her up before continuing.
Don Tirri: I spoke about basically everyone in the match. And you were the only one to take it personally. Even LEX took it in stride, even though we had just gotten off a big scrap caused by me pissing him off. That is why I continued to rile you up Mags. Because you showed the one thing a champion shouldn’t. Insecurity. At least to me. See, the way I see it… You don’t have a bland personality or a lacking one. You just refuse to SHOW the real Magdalena Lockheart. I see the fire behind your eyes. I call you generic because you stare at the Win-loss column to justify your own worth as well as assess the worth of those around you. You hide behind the success you’ve gained in an early age. But from my point of view Maggie, you’re just another kid who got too much too soon. And that is why I goad you. That is why I needle you. THAT is why I push you.
Tirri walks right up to her.
Don Tirri: SHOW us the real Magdalena Lockheart. Show that fire. Show that you’re more than just a pretty face and a good mechanic. Show personality. I know you can. And that is why I do this.
He extends his hand again for a shake. Maggie looks like she's about ready to shake his hand but suddenly clutches her head instead. She doubles over, and for a moment, the pain appears to be so unbearable that she nearly drops her belt on the canvas. Finally, the pain stops as suddenly as it started, and Maggie glances up at Tirri.
Maggie Lockheart: ...if you only knew.
She pulls herself upright and peers at Don's hand. It takes her a few moments, but she finally, reluctantly, shakes it. She keeps her grip firm as she pulls her mic back up to her lips.
Maggie Lockheart: Just... do me one favor, if you would. If you look across this ring tonight and see that fire in my eyes again, please, tag yourself out.
Lockheart jerks her hand back and takes a few steps backward from Tirri before bringing the microphone back up to her lips.
Maggie Lockheart: I don't want to be held responsible if you get what you wish for.
Maggie drops the microphone and turns to leave the ring. "Potions" plays over the arena speakers once more as Lockheart backs her way up the ramp, not once letting her eyes leave Tirri who still stands with that smirk on his face.
Arthur La Forge: It looks like our main event tonight is heating up!
Mary DeSue: Ooh, I just love Don. He's such a thicc boi. I can't wait to see him in action later tonight!
Arthur La Forge: Well, we've got a hell of a show lined up this evening…
---
Antonio Ricci vs. Dionysus
When we come back from an ad break, Dionysus is already in the ring, while RIcci is taking his time walking down the ramp to kick off EXP 4.
Arthur La Forge: Well, we saw at The Last of Us just how dominant Antonio Ricci was. In fact, one of the men he eliminated was his opponent tonight.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, which is probably why he wanted the match.
Arthur La Forge: He won’t have any excuses after tonight.
After Ricci is in the ring, the bell rings and he locks up with Dionysus. Dionysus forces Ricci into the turnbuckle and the referee forces him to break. He slowly backs off and then cheap shots Count Coma with a punch to his taped up ribs. The Lord of the Vine then grabs the wrist of Ricci and falls backward, allowing the momentum to send him through the ropes to the outside. Dionysus follows and just for fun paintbrushes Ricci and then tosses him face first into the ring post.
Mary DeSue: Okay I’m still kind of new to this, but antagonizing a monster like Ricci doesn’t seem smart.
Arthur La Forge: Dionysus must be convinced he can win this.
Mary DeSue: Which is even dumber.
Dionysus throws Ricci back inside and goes for a pinfall...
It doesn't even get one before Ricci shoves him off. Dionysus picks him up and tosses him into the ropes, and tries for a drop toehold as he comes back, but Ricci won't go. He shakes his head and Dionysus responds by kneeing him in the abdomen. He then charges forward with a clothesline, but Ricci pops back up and responds with a jumping knee strike that catches Dionysus right in the chin. He then spins around and connects with a cyclone kick!
Arthur La Forge: Ricci took some light offense and now it seems he’s interested in putting this away early.
Mary DeSue: I told you the other guy was stupid. And he owns a business?
Ricci lines up and attempts the roundhouse kick “Coma-toes,” but Dionysus holds up his arms to block! Ricci winces as he backs off, showing the move took some effort with his still-healing ribs. As he moves a hand to his ribcage, Dionysus reaches down and grabs it, then moves behind him. He spins Ricci around, attempting the “Grapevine”, but Ricci does an additional spin and finally connects with “Coma-toes!” He quickly covers the fallen Lord of the Vine!
One!
Two!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: In almost record time, the winner of the match is “Count Coma” Antonio Ricci!
Arthur La Forge: As the expression goes, Antonio Ricci doesn’t get paid by the hour!
Mary DeSue: Even with injured ribs he manages to take out this guy.
Arthur La Forge: May not have lasted as long as it did if the ribs weren’t injured, but Ricci got the win and that’ll be all that matters to him.
Ricci rolls out of the ring, willing himself not to clutch at his still beat up midsection, while the referees tend to the out-cold Dionysus in the ring. The show then cuts to the back…
---
Unwanted Mysteries...
We cut backstage where, unfortunately, we see Lenny Brasco backstage with a microphone walking around.
Lenny Brasco: What up fellow “gamers”! It’s me, your pal, Lenny Brasco. Tonight I’m here with an exclusive. Arthur La Forge has hired a private investigator to help us answer the question and confusion caused by EA Blizzard’s arrival at the “Last Of Us” Main Event in such a high spot. Something smells fishy...and you know what else smells fishy. THIS!
Lenny holds up a men’s fragrance bottle. It’s got Ataxia on the cover of it...or a really bad photoshop version of him.
Lenny Brasco: That’s right folks. Right now you can smell like Ataxia too. No. Not in a negative way. This is a new fragrance available only at our website called “Canceled”. Why is it called “Canceled”...because guys...one wiff of this...and she’ll cancel being single and be devoted to you forever! Now we can only accept pre-orders now...something about approval from Ataxia, but I know he’s gonna love this!
A shadowy figure arrives behind Lenny and taps him on the shoulder. The figure looks like a cosplayer of Benedict Cumberpatch’s Sherlock Holmes...except his face is that of...you guessed it…
Sherlock Waluigi: Walumentary Brasco!
Lenny Brasco: Oh the P.I.!
Sherlock Waluigi pulls out a large pie from his jacket. It’s in the shape of fish.
Lenny Brasco: Um...No...You’re the Private Investigator...Not a Pie!
Sherlock Waluigi: WAHHHHH!!
Sherlock Waluigi slaps his forehead and hands the pie to Brasco. Brasco takes a wiff of the pie. He makes a sour face.
Lenny Brasco: Oh God! That smells like herring...wait a minute!
Lenny sighs as he opens the pie and we see it is literally a giant herring covered in cherry syrup.
Lenny Brasco: Well...we found the red herring for this case.
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH!
Sherlock Waluigi reaches behind him and pulls up a briefcase that says “E.A. Blizzard” on it.
Lenny Brasco: Oh good you do have actual evidence for the case. Let’s see it.
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH!
Sherlock Waluigi hands Brasco the case and Brasco drops it.
Lenny Brasco: GAH!! Ahhh...That’s cold...like ice co...The case has gone cold.
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH HAH!
Lenny Brasco: So that’s all you have to say for my exclusive?
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH!
Lenny Brasco: Well, come on, Artie paid you good money to figure this out. You gotta keep trying.
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH!
Sherlock Waluigi puts on his Sherlock Cap, grabs the case, and pulls out a magnifying glass and starts to walk off.
Lenny Brasco: Well I guess that’s all the info we have for n...
Sherlock Waluigi: WALUMENTARY!!!
Sherlock Waluigi comes back and puts a Sherlock cap on Brasco.
Lenny Brasco: Looks like I’m coming along to...hey what’s that!
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH CLUE!!
The two bumblers run down the hall and stop in front of what looks like a brand new board game. The cover of it says…
Lenny Brasco: A Foot! The...Oh dear lord the game is a foot!
Sherlock Waluigi: WAAAHHHH HOOO!!
---
EA Blizzard vs. Jack Michaels
Arthur La Forge: You know...I should really check Craigslist Ads more clearly...Let’s hope he does better...
Mary DeSue: Sorry Artie...Look here though...Jack’s taking on EAB. Maybe that will cheer you up!
A "Let's Go Blast" chant starts up before the two men lock up, but Jack Michaels doesn't seem interested in acknowledging it. He backs EAB into the corner on the initial lockup, and breaks clean. They lock up again, and EAB goes for a waistlock, but Michaels elbows him away. Michaels hits a shoulderblock, and then poses in the center of the ring. EAB hits a knee to the gut and throws some forearms. EAB whips Michaels across the ring, but Michaels comes back with a clothesline and EAB goes to the floor to regroup.
Arthur La Forge: Both people seem evenly matched right now.
Mary DeSue: It's still early Artie, give EAB some time to get warmed up.
Arthur La Forge: Well of course you like him.
Mary DeSue: I'm not gonna let your weirdo obsession trick me, no.
Michaels follows EAB, to which EAB stays just ahead of him, forcing the 'Mean Machine' to chase. EAB slides into the ring and as Michaels slides in EAB starts stomping on him. He picks up Michaels and attempts an irish whip, but Michaels reverses and hits a side slam.
One!
Two...just two, as Blizzard kicks out. Michaels backs EAB into the corner and starts nailing him with an elbow. He backs up and charges, but EAB gets a boot up. EAB waits for Michaels to turn around and hits him with a boot to the face.
Arthur La Forge: Well I'll give Blizzard this. He's had an answer for everything Jack's done so far.
Mary DeSue: Yeah, and don't you think if your weird conspiracy were right, he'd like, make Jack lose via forfeit or something?
Arthur La Forge: That'd just throw everyone off the trail.
EAB tries to Irish whip Michaels but he reverses it again, then hits a backdrop. EAB stands up, holding his back, and Michaels clotheslines him to the floor. Jack Michaels follows and then throws EAB into the guardrail. He then throws him back into the ring. Michaels climbs up on the apron and EAB nails a shoulder thrust. He grabs Michaels for a suplex and Michaels blocks it. EAB tries again but Michaels blocks again, so EAB drops down to the mat snapping Michaels's throat across the top rope. Jack Michaels falls to the outside.
Arthur La Forge: Smart move by EAB, couldn't get him in the ring with the suplex so he uses whatever else is available.
Mary DeSue: This is what I've been trying to tell you!
EAB steps out onto the apron and dives at Michaels for a double axehandle, but Michaels moves and EAB hits the guardrail. Michaels charges and hits a knee lift smashing EAB between the guardrail and Michaels's knee. He then rolls EAB back in. Goes for a quick cover.
ONE!
Two..no! Only two. EAB begs off, then pokes Michaels in the eyes and throws him shoulder first into the ringpost. EAB hits a boot to the face, and Michaels falls to the floor. EAB tackles Michaels on the floor, sending both men over the announcers table.
Arthur La Forge:Watch out!
Mary DeSue: Fight somewhere else, guys!
EAB pounds Michaels on the floor. EAB stands on the table and hits a flying punch. Jack Michaels is rolled back in the ring, before EAB catapults Michaels into the middle rope, then chokes him against the bottom rope. EAB then drops an elbow. Then he drops two more elbows and covers.
One!
Two! Michaels kicks out again. EAB picks up Michaels and slams him down. He then runs off of the ropes and kicks Michaels right in the face!
Arthur La Forge: Did you see that kick? Jeebus!
Mary DeSue: I didn't need to, I heard it. I'm surprised Old Man Jack actually kicked out!
EAB picks up Michaels and tosses him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, Michaels ducks. Michaels comes off and tries one, but EAB ducks then locks Jack Michaels into a full nelson! He applies the pressure to Michaels, but Jack drops to a knee and snapmares Blizzard over his shoulder. Blizzard pops back up and runs at Jack, only to get DROPPED with the "Blast from the Past" spinning spinebuster! Blizzard immediately starts to get up, which actually takes Jack by surprise, so he runs and boots EAB in the gut, then drops him with the "Last Blast"! He goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
Mr. Rad: The winner of this match is...JACK MICHAELS!
Arthur La Forge: Another win for Michaels, but EAB surprised him there at the end.
Mary DeSue: He took that spinebuster and got right up! If Crazy Jack didn't immediately do the piledriver thing...
Arthur La Forge: Yes, we might have a different result. Blizzard is definitely a force to be reckoned with.
Mary DeSue: Are you going to drop your weird theory now?
Arthur La Forge: Heck no! I paid Sherlock WaLuigi my entire fee from the PPV!
---
Achievements Announcement
Due to runtime issues The Achievements for “The Last of Us” Pay Per View will be updated on our website. We apologize for the error but due to our strict rules with Twitch and our advertisers on said platform we had to cut down the show tonight. Management is sorry, but hopes you understand. The Achievements will be listed along with next week’s LvL Up EXP Episode 5 Card.
---
Bert McAlroy vs. James Wilcox
James Wilcox glares at Bert and then right as the bell rings, he cheapshots him with a slap to the face before Irish whipping him toward the ropes. Bert McAlroy flies off the ropes and connects with a spinning wheel kick. Wilcox gets up and turns around into a dropkick from Bert McAlroy. Bert McAlroy runs towards the turnbuckle and jumps to the top rope and dives off and nails Wilcox, while he is getting up from the ground, with a crossbody. He rolls it into a pin!
One!
Two!
Wilcox shoves Bert off of him.
Arthur La Forge: Bert seems eager to get a win here and Wilcox is having none of it.
Mary DeSue: He lasted a long time in that gauntlet match, and still didn't win. He's probably just as eager as the stoner.
Arthur La Forge: But there's no Faction out here tonight.
Wilcox gets up and waits for Bert to rise and goes to deliver a kick but Bert ducks it and grabs Wilcox from behind and nails a Russian leg sweep. Bert gets up and nails a standing moonsault to James Wilcox!
One!
Two! Wilcox kicks out. Bert gets up and goes to the top rope, he gets on top and jumps off and nails Wilcox with a leg drop. With his leg over James Wilcox's throat he lies on his back and does a kip up and drops back into a leg drop, rolls into the pin.
One!
Two!
Thr...No! Wilcox kicks out!
Mary DeSue: Where did Bert suddenly learn all of this stuff?
Arthur La Forge: Ricci beat the hell out of him two weeks ago. He probably spent the entire time training to improve for this very match.
Mary DeSue: He's definitely more aggressive than usual.
Bert gets up and brings The Wizard with him, before throwing Wilcox off the ropes and bouncing off the other side...only to get hit with a big boot from Wilcox. Wilcox tries to take a moment to recover, before stumbling toward McAlroy. He picks him up and throws him into the nearest turnbuckle, then walks over and place him up top. Wilcox climbs to the second rope and tries to pull McAlroy down with a superplex! McAlroy fights back with punches, managing to force Wilcox down off the top. He then dives off and catches Wilcox with a hurricanrana, then quickly hooks the leg!
One!
Two!
Thr...Wilcox kicks out again!
Arthur La Forge: Wilcox is very resilient here, but at the same time I don't think he expected this from Bert.
Mary DeSue: I sure didn't.
Bert gets up and waits for Wilcox, before running at him and actually connecting with a tornado DDT! He goes for the pin but is too close to the ropes. Wilcox takes advantage of that and rolls to the outside of the ring. Bert runs off the ropes and then dives over the top with his tope con hilo! Bert overshoots it, still having not perfected his skills as a rookie, and as a result BOTH men crash into the barricade! Bert's knees land across the top and he smashes Wilcox against it!
Arthur La Forge: Damn! What a landing!
Mary DeSue: This is what happens when you fly too close to the sun.
Arthur La Forge: Bert has the heart but things like this are going to happen when you are still new to all of this.
Bert gets up and holds his knees, but still dropkicks Wilcox with enough force to send him over the ring barrier. The referee begins the count Bert begins to hobble his way back to the ring. The referee gets to five and McAlroy finally gets inside. He goes to check on McAlroy, who is having trouble standing after his bad landing, and continuing his count. He then has to move away from Bert and look at ISAAC, who has climbed onto the apron! Bert moves over with the referee and hits another dropkick, throwing his safety out the window but hitting ISAAC in the knees to knock him off. This, however, was a distraction, as Drake Wilcox has picked his brother up onto his shoulder and rolled him into ring. Bert turns around, limping, only for The Wizard to kick him in the kneecap! He nails a spinebuster and goes for the cover!!
ONE!
TWO!
THR...NO! Bert kicks out.
Arthur La Forge: Well, Wilcox got help getting back in the ring, but Bert won't stay down.
Mary DeSue: Yep, this Wizard guy might need a little more magic.
Wilcox seems bewildered that Bert wouldn't stay down. He grabs him and picks him up, but Bert counters with a small package!
One!
Two! Wilcox kicks out, as Bert's knees left him unable to maintain the hold. The two get up and Wilcox attempts the Adonis Superkick, but Bert catches the foot! He then spins Wilcox around, takes a step back and hits his own Gert Bert'd! He then grabs the legs of Wilcox as he goes down and flips over into a Jackknife cover!
One!
Two!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: The winner of the match...moving onto the semifinals of the Wisdom Championship Tournament...BERT MCALROY!
Arthur La Forge: The Wisdom title is custom made for a man like James Wilcox, and Bert McAlroy managed to upset him here tonight!
Mary DeSue: If Bert wins this tournament, it keeps him away from Ricci, which is probably good for his health.
Arthur La Forge: On that, we can agree. And now let's go backstage for a special message from one of our fighters...
---
The video quality is poor, showing a room that's full of too many shadows. The sound of breathing breaks the silence before there's a scrape of what sounds like metal on concrete. A hand with scabbed knuckles moves into view, pulling a dented steel chair. Someone sits down in it, the ripped-out knee of a pair of skinny jeans visible before he sits down, making the chair creak noisily. Slowly, he leans forward, the shadows carving his features in bas-relief, although the moment he speaks, his identity is unmistakable.
Lex Collins: History repeats – fuck me. Not the first time I went into a thing like this, talking about war only to come back as a casualty. Oh, but I wanted it this time. I wanted it more than I've ever wanted a single damn thing in my career. Last man out. I started callin' myself OMEGA, wanted to own that honor, turn it into a thing since that goddamned Finnish asshole pissed all over my Architect thing. But hey, maybe should just dispense with all the cute little names. Stop fuckin' around.
He sighs, lifting one hand up to scrub it over his face, fingers rasping against the salt-and-pepper stubble – he's clean-shaven again, thanks to wrapping up the shooting for the project he's been filming for Morningstar Studios over the last week.
Lex Collins: Maggie Lockheart pulled off the upset and a part of me wonders when the cracks will begin to show. A part of me wonders if our fuckin' Lord and Savior LEGION is gonna let that loss go and if he's anything like his father, that's gonna be a resounding no, scrawled on every surface in the blood of innocents over the next months to come. I guess it remains to be seen, where it all falls from here. Another championship's already pulled out of the magic hat – a shiny distraction for the rabble who couldn't cut it, right? Yeah. I don't know what's worse, really. Being left off the show this week, being left off that prestigious guest list for the WISDOM championship or being given this nice gift of a reprieve?
Another sigh.
Lex Collins: History repeats, we're stuck in another loop and I've spawned here more than once. I've chased monsters before. I've tried to check egos. I've been accused of running like a scalded dog when my fragile little ego gets challenged. See, funny thing is, I don't got that. Sure, I'm proud of my measly little accomplishments. Proud of who I've beaten so far but the streak came to an end pretty damn quick. I could make an excuse. I could say that I've never been good in a crowd – it's well-documented. I could blame that on mental illness but it feels pretty fuckin' cheap.
He chuckles.
Lex Collins: 'Sides, like the Cheshire Cat said, "we're all mad here". I fucked up. I didn't get the job done – kudos to Count Chocula for seizing the moment but we both know LEGION did all the heavy lifting there. I know what you want from me. You want me to cast my lots. Let's keep the anticipation going, shall we? See, here's the situation: I'm trying like hell to distance myself from the rest of the interchangeable, faceless herd. I don't deal in idle threats and I rarely telegraph my shots before I taken them. I don't believe in gods. No big G. He's not out there, pulling strings. I believe in the things I can measure, the things I can see so, if you're waiting for a cute little song and dance that ends with a huge revelation and some grand Machiavellian scheme for systematic destruction, tune out now. I don't play that way. I didn't come to Level Up to start a revolution. Nope. I'm here to do something significantly more important. Go on and say it out loud. You know you wanna ask the rhetorical question. Do it. Ask me whose head I want on a silver platter. Ask me what I'm gonna do next.
He leans forward, steepled fingers tapping against his lips for a moment.
Lex Collins: Something wicked this way comes... it's time for me to face the truth. I'm not meant to rebuild. I'm not fit to lead. I'm here to stay in the shadows, creeping through these haunted and once-hallowed halls with a loaded shotgun. Salt and burn. It's time to hunt the monsters. The Last Of Us was just the beginning – I see it now. I know what needs to happen. I gotta go back to where it all started. Home, sweet home in the Big Easy. Something in the night felt like a door had been opened, an echo of the past, an old monster snapping its eyes open in the depths of my brain. The silence makes me see the truth, hanging over my head like that damned Damoclean nightmare. One more pass before it gets too close, before it lops off my head. I still got a little bit more time to make it count. Somebody's gonna end up dead at the end of it all. Best I can do is hope it won't be me.
---
LEGION vs. Larry Tact
LEGION and Tact are in the ring ready to square off when the referee checks on them to see if they are carrying or have anything illegal on them. Both are clean and the bell rings. Tact takes his time getting into it as LEGION starts circling him, seeming as focused and creepy as ever. He suddenly lurches forward at Tact, knocking him down to the mat with simple shoulder block. LEGION picks up Tact and holds him against the turnbuckle and starts chopping his chest. He goes for a big elbow, but Tact ducks and tackles LEGION to the ground. He starts clubbing away and drops a quick elbow. Tact then bounces back off the ropes and suddenly surprises LEGION with the somersault splash he calls the "Tactilizer"! He hooks the leg!
One!
Two!
LEGION powers out, even after the signature move was hit early on. LEGION gets to his feet and gets a knee to the side of the head for his efforts, as Tact is attempting to keep him from gaining an advantage.
Arthur La Forge: Larry Tact has grown increasingly irritable in recent weeks. He may say the losses don't matter but I think they're getting to him.
Mary DeSue: Nobody likes to lose. Well, except you, Artie. You're probably used to it.
Arthur La Forge: Thank you..
Mary DeSue: Any time!
Tact picks up LEGION and tosses him outside, ignoring the count from the referee. He picks up LEGION out there and tries to ram his head into the barricade, but LEGION reverses it and it's Tact's head that collides with the steel! LEGION tosses him over the rail and hops over himself to join him. LEGION then grabs Tact and with a sadistic smile on his face, gives him a suplex ONTO THE GUARDRAIL! Tact is down and out and LEGION takes his time getting back to the ring. He rolls inside and then rolls back out, breaking the referee's count. Tact has crawled back over the guardrail and is attempting to get up, which LEGION is all too happy to help with before rolling him back inside. the ring.
Arthur La Forge: Even in a match where technical wrestling is on display, somehow LEGION manages to hurt his opponent.
Mary DeSue: Our Final Boss almost had to kill the guy to beat him, and this surprises you?
Arthur La Forge: I don't think anyone is surprised by what LEGION can do now.
Inside, LEGION goes for a quick clothesline, but misses and turns around catching a leg wheel takedown from Tact! Tact, knowing who he's fighting, goes for another quick pin.
One!
Tw...just barely two. Tact picks him up and leans him against a turnbuckle, chopping, but not before LEGION tries to fight back adding chops of his own. This goes on for quite some time until Tact pushes LEGION away and catches a breather. He turns around and LEGION makes him pay for the respite with a savate kick! Tact staggers and LEGION bounces off the ropes...DEATH STROKE!
One!
Two!
Thr...Tact kicks out!!
Arthur La Forge: Okay, now THAT was surprising! Tact manage to just avoid getting beat with the Death Stroke!
Mary DeSue: LEGION doesn't seem mad. If anything, he seems happy to continue the punishment.
Arthur La Forge: Have I mentioned this guy is creepy?
Mary DeSue: Only about a million times.
The referee assures LEGION it was only two, and the man of cosmic horror smiles. He gets up and waits for Tact to rise, but Tact bellows and charges forward with a jumping knee lift! This knocks LEGION down and Tact climbs up top, measuring his opponent and dives off with the "Dive To Blue" top rope elbow drop! It connects flush into the black heart of LEGION! Tact makes the cover!
One!
Two
Thr...NO! LEGION kicks out! Tact is stunned!
Arthur La Forge: Tact thought he had it there and perhaps against someone else he might have!
Mary DeSue: Tact is kicking some ass tonight!
Arthur La Forge: If you expected a veteran like Larry Tact to just go quietly, even against this monster, you would be wrong.
Larry Tact can’t believe it and is questioning the referee about his counting technique. It seems even the veteran is prone to mistakes, however, as in his time spent arguing with the referee, LEGION has RISEN. Tact turns around and LEGION connects with a chop to the throat. Tact responds with a headbutt, then he grabs LEGION for the "Humbling" Uranage suplex, but LEGION elbows his way out of it. With Tact dazed, LEGION moves behind him and hoists him up onto his shoulders...before dropping him down with the DOOM THAT CAME TO INDIANAPOLIS!
One!
Two!
Three!!!
Mr. Rad: DOOM has come to Indianapolis, and Larry Tact, as LEGION moves onto the semifinals!
Arthur La Forge: LEGION is proving to be an absolutely dominant fighter in Level Up, but props to Larry Tact for giving him a run for his money.
Mary DeSue: Even I gotta hand it to him, he came here to win.
Arthur La Forge: Yes, and like other fighters tonight, he has nothing to be ashamed of. The level of competition here is just so high that people are going to catch bad breaks.
Mary DeSue:: Against LEGION, that might be literal.
Arthur La Forge: Let's hope not. I’m being told something is going on backstage...
---
Backstage Bryan Ford is seend walking through the hall wearing a nice 3 piece black suit and shades on. He walks over to the catering table and takes and apple as he continues making his way down the hall. He stops in his tracks as the camera pans over to Eli Goode standing outside of his locker room.
Ford taps Eli on the shoulder with a shit eating grin.
Bryan Ford: Eli Goode... just the man I was looking for... how are you these days?
Eli looks over to Ford with a small smile on his face. He is in his wrestling gear warming up for his match.
Eli Goode: It’s a bit complicated Ford. All the stuff with Jack, this tournament… I’m trying to stay focused. But it is nice to see you my friend.
Ford gave a nod understanding everything Eli was saying.
Bryan Ford: Oh trust me I know how it is… I also know how it feels to have your progress a bit stifled by Jack Michaels… he's a guy who would rather see others stay at a lower level then himself… I mean if I'm being honest I feel when you were a part of Paragon… that wasn't him helping like minded individuals… that was a protection plan to his ego… in fact I'd go so far as to say he never saw you as an equal. Aren't you tired of Jack Michaels having this complex of constantly being in the spotlight? The center of attention? When is it Eli Goode's turn? When do you get to show that you're a top tier talent?
Eli chuckles and stops his warm up. He slowly walks up to Ford and gets nose-to-nose with him.
Eli Goode: I know what you’re doing. We worked well together at The Last of Us, but that was just a one time thing. I am tired of Jack taking the spotlight away from people like me, but you need to remember something, I beat you multiple times in the past. If you’re considering teaming up with me, you better have a better offer than just making Jack suffer.
Bryan Ford: I'm offering you a chance to become Level Up's next biggest thing… I'm offering to put our elite skills together and dominate… and I don't want Jack to suffer Eli…. I want him on the shelf.
Bryan said with a devilish smirk. Eli looks down at Bryan and finishes his stretches. He takes in a deep breath.
Eli Goode: We’ll talk more after the show. I have to get ready for my match. I’ll talk to you later.
Eli walks away from Bryan and down to the ring.
---
Nero Phoenix vs. Eli Goode vs. Surprise Entrant EAB
As we cut back from what we just saw backstage we see Nero Phoenix waiting in the ring and Eli Goode finishes up his untelevised entrance. Suddenly the lights start to strobe a bit.
Mr. Rad: A Lah...Lah...LAST MINUTE CHANGE. This match will now be a triple threat match including...E...E...E.A. Blizzard!
Arthur is livid as he stands up, putting his foot on the announcers table and pointing towards the entranceway.
Arthur La Forge: OBJECTION!!!
Mary DeSue: Sit your dumb butt down!
The other two wrestlers complain as EAB rushes in and grabs Nero from behind hitting a chop block taking down Nero! The bell rings as Goode tries to get some offense in, but gets grabbed by the throat with both of EAB’s hands. The chokes goes on for a moment until EAB picks up Goode by moving into a Military Press Slam! EAB hits the “It Rolls Downhill” on Goode, but slams Goode on top of Nero!
Arthur La Forge: This is...gosh darn it...This is bull honkey! Blizzard was eliminated earlier tonight by Jack Micheals!
Mary DeSue: Yet apparently, he’s allowed to compete. I mean...maybe the higher ups thought it would give us better ratings.
Arthur La Forge: The only rating I care about is the ESRB lady. This just screams of a cover up! We’re talking burying ET cartridges in the desert kinda level of coverup!
Mary DeSue: Simmer down nerdling…
Nero is grabbed by EAB as EAB looks over towards the announcers table. He smiles and laughs as he grabs Nero and hits a Pendulum Backbreaker on Nero! Goode gets up and charges at EAB and starts mounting a defense by punching him over and over and over again in the ribs. EAB reaches out and grabs Goode in the “Crunch Time”! Goode is trying to fght out of it, but EAB keeps wrenching trying to knock the wind out of Goode! Nero starts to get up and that’s when EAB charges forward slamming Goode, back first, into the turnbuckle post! Nero charges and starts attacking EAB’s back! EAB turns… “The Industry Standard” INTO THE TURNBUCKLE POST!!!
Arthur La Forge: Come on guys! You can beat him!
Mary DeSue: What’s wrong with the lights?!
The lights flicker again and this time go out. We hear the sound of steel meeting flesh twice as the lights cut back on and we see Eli Goode and Nero Phoenix busted open in the ring with EAB standing over them. He drops to his knee’s and puts one hand on each of them…
ONE…
TWO…
Arthur La Forge: OH COME ON!!
Mary DeSue: Wonder how he busted them up so quickly?
THREE!!
Mr. Rad: Here is you...your...Weiner...Winner! E.A. Blizzard!
EAB gets out of the ring and grabs his briefcase, we see it’s a bit more dented than we saw when he came out. He looks over at Artie and winks.
Arthur La Forge: I’ll get you ya smug so and so!
Mary DeSue: He’ll eat you alive Artie.
Arthur La Forge: I’ll hire investigators to get you ya smug so and so!
EAB laughs as he has advanced tonight...under mysterious circumstances.
---
The view opens up to the locker room area with “Old School Cool” Don Tirri seated on a bench, taping up his wrists. He is staring into the distance, deep in thought when suddenly a pair of hands appear and cover his face and a female voice can be hear speaking up.
Voice: Heya there big man, guess who!
Tirri snaps out of his thoughts and jumps up, turning to face the woman behind her and we see that it is none other than “Queen Machine” Jenny. She is dressed in her full in ring gear with a mischievous grin on her painted face. Before Don can speak up Jenny hops onto the bench he had been sitting on and pokes Don in the chest.
Jenny: That’s not fair, turning around is cheating!
Tirri takes a step back and blinks, causing Jenny to give a bright giggle. Finally the Finn finds his tongue and grumbles.
Don Tirri: Great… You’re the last person I wanna see right now. Whaddaya want?
Jenny gasps and recoils with a look of mock indignation on her features.
Jenny: Well I never thought THIS would be the kinda welcome I’d get for coming to greet my partner!
Tirri sits down and sighs.
Don Tirri: Fine. Take a seat.
Jenny giggles like a little girl and proceeds to lay down with her head on Don’s lap. The Finn stares down and is about to say something, but ultimately just sighs in resignation, which causes Jenny’s smile to grow wider
Jenny: There, that wasn’t so bad wasn’t it? You don’t need to be such a grump all the time you know. We all get it. You’re old. You’re bitter. Watching “the kids” pass you by. Lighten up will ya? Not all of them are bad. I know Mary likes her men THICC… and we all saw you interrupting Maggie. Give a big spiel about respect and honor and whatnot. And we all know you can’t stand the fact that she has gold and you don’t. Talk about doin the right thing all you want… Given the chance, you’d jump her in a heartbeat.
Tirri looks at her, trying to figure out what her endgame was. He was getting increasingly uncomfortable but refused to show it as not to give her the pleasure.
Don Tirri: Will you stop? I am what I am Jenny, and if you won’t stop bothering me I’ll start digging up things I know you wanna keep buried. Wendy wasn’t the only one who was around back then you know. I was there too…
The big man’s tone left no doubt about his threat. But he didn’t expect the reaction he got. Jenny’s face suddenly darkened and her grin got a malicious quality to it, only to go completely blank for a split second before returning to her playful grin as she stood up and skipped towards the door.
Jenny: Awwww. You’re no fun. “Big Daddy” my pretty little ass. Fine. Keep being a grinch and taking your own misery out on the future stars. Maggie at least TRIED to meet you in the middle. Despite all the things you said she shook your hand. I wouldn’t have.
She turned around and gave Tirri a wink
Jenny: Just hold up your end of the bargain, leave Wendy to me and we’ll be just fine. Fail at that… Well Queenie will be VERY cross with you and you know what it means when that happens…
She gives a shrill giggle and exits the room, leaving Tirri staring at the camera with an exasperated look on his face. He sighs and mumbles one more thing under his breath before the view cuts to black.
Don Tirri: What have I gotten myself into..
---
Adam Miller vs. Sidroy Covington IV
As we come back from break, Miller runs down to the ring and slides in, but Sidroy is waiting for him with some kicks to the ribs. Miller fights to his feet and the two exchange blows. Miller eventually gets the upper hand and buries a knee in Sidroy’s stomach. Miller capitalizes and carries his over with a firemans carry into an arm bar. Sidroy sees it comes and rolls out, avoiding the arm bar. Both opponents get to their feet and they lock up. Miller puts a head lock on Sidroy, but he punches him in the side and he lets his go. he stands and Miller takes him down with a clothesline.
Arthur La Forge: A nice move by Miller there. Both are younger guys and have something to prove here.
Mary DeSue: Who does the winner of this get, anyway?
Arthur La Forge: If I'm reading the brackets right, they'll move onto face...EA Blizzard. Somehow.
Mary DeSue: Oh don't get started on that again.
Arthur La Forge: I won't...this time.
Miller brings Sidroy to his feet and twists his arm, he throws a few forearms at his shoulder and he falls to one knee. Miller sees an opportunity and locks in an armbar. Sidroy gets out quickly by sending a fist to Miller’s ribs. Sidroy gets to his feet and out of nowhere hits a high dropkick. Miller goes down and Sidroy goes for an armbar of his own, but can’t get it locked in. Instead, he yanks the shoulder, before twisting and dropping with an arm wrench, nearly pulling it out of its socket! Miller gets up and grabs at his hurt shoulder. He goes to kick Sidroy, who grabs his foot and hits a legscrew.
Arthur La Forge: Sidroy Covington may be young, but this is a belt that was made for him and he's relying on his technical ability to try to win this thing.
Mary DeSue: Plus he's rich!
Arthur La Forge: I don't...I don't see what that has to do with anything?
Mary DeSue: I just felt it needed to be said.
Sidroy drops a knee onto Miller's ankle as he’s down. Miller gets to his feet amid Sidroy’s boots to the ankle. Miller gets up and Sidroy is waiting with a sharp kick to the ankle bone. Miller tries to get to his feet and begins to limp. Sidroy goes for a right hand, but Miller blocks it and nails a DDT out of desperation. He makes a quick cover!
One!
Two! No! Sidroy kicks out. Miller quickly gets to his feet, gingerly avoiding pressure on the ankle, and begins to lay into Covington with a series of punches. He then tries for a kick, but Sidroy grabs the leg and sweeps his bad leg out from under him. Miller’s head bounces off the mat and Sidroy uses the opportunity and locks in a figure four leg lock! Miller yells in pain and begins to attempt to elevate himself...before successfully reversing the hold, putting all of the pain and pressure on Sidroy. Sidroy grabs the ropes and uses them to pull out. Sidroy and Miller get up and Miller sends Sidroy into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline and hits it, before picking him back up and hitting the tornado DDT!
Arthur La Forge: And just like that, Adam Miller has turned this match around!
Mary DeSue: These two seem like they could go all night!
Arthur La Forge: It's definitely a war of attrition. Miller is attacking the head of Sidroy and Covington is weakening as many limbs as possible for a submission.
Miller picks up Sidroy and throws him into the corner. He hits a chop across the chest of Covington, looking angry that Sidroy hasn't been put away yet. He nails another chop to the chest, before teeing off with several punches to the head of Covington. Sidroy lashes out with a sharp kick to the ankle, before picking the leg and hitting a dragon screw leg whip! Sidroy picks him up and brings him back down with a snap suplex. He floats over and locks in a heel hook. Miller manages to wiggle his way free.
Arthur La Forge: Adam Miller is fighting like hell here, as he wants to prove himself against Sidroy.
Mary DeSue: Hey, Sid has a lot to prove too, you know!
Arthur La Forge: I didn't say he didn't? This match would mean a lot to both of these guys.
Sidroy gets up and reaches for Miller, who ducks low and connects with a headbutt to the ribs! He then spins Sidroy around and grabs him by the head, attempting a crossroads, before Sidroy slips out, drops down and picks the ankle, applying an ankle lock! Sidroy tightens the hold and Miller yells in pain, he tries to turn over and can't. He tries to reach for the ropes when suddenly Sidroy sees the arm extended, leaps forward and applies the FFB! The arm-trap crossface is locked in as Sidroy is back to the arm he attacked earlier in the match! Miller has nowhere to go. He tries to use his leg to push out, but the ankle gives out and he falls back into it, allowing Covington to sink the hold in deeper! Miller finally has no choice and taps out!!
Mr. Rad: Adam Miller fought hard, but the winner of the match is...SIDROY COVINGTON IV!
Arthur La Forge: Sidroy moves onto the semifinals at EXP 5, where he'll meet EA Blizzard!
Mary DeSue: And...LEGION has Bert?
Arthur La Forge: That's the way the brackets shake down, yes.
Mary DeSue: Bert gonna die.
Adam Miller gets to his feet and pounds the mat in frustration, before rolling outside and walking to the back under his own power, to cheers from the audience. Sidroy seems bothered that Miller is getting cheered in spite of the loss, but he shakes it off and soon leaves on his own.
Arthur La Forge: Miller deserves a heck of a lot of credit here. He nearly came out with the win, but Sidroy is a technical prodigy and knew exactly how and when to strike.
Mary DeSue: And he's rich!
Arthur La Forge: Ugh...we'll take an ad break for our sponsors and be back soon with our main event!
---
The Game gets weird...
We cut backstage where we see Lenny Brasco and Sherlock Waluigi sneaking around. We see E.A. Blizzard as he walks away from a locker room with his briefcase. Both men do the Scooby Doo tiptoe and go inside. The sign on the door says “E.A. Blizzard”...after they shut the door however the sign falls off.
Lenny Brasco: We got to crack this case...
Sherlock Waluigi: WAH!
Sherlock Waluigi holds up the case and a crack pipe.
Lenny Brasco: WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS!
Sherlock Waluigi: Wahh wahh wahhh
Sherlock Waluigi puts his crackpipe away and starts shaking his case. Lenny walks around the locker room. He hears some water running.
Lenny Brasco: Someone else is in here...maybe it’s an accomplice...maybe it’s someone who can tell us what’s going on with your case Sherlock.
Sherlock Waluigi: Wah…?
Sherlock Waluigi walks towards where the water is running and we hear the sound of a beatdown occurring! We see Sherlock Waluigi go flying back out towards us. He grabs the case and Lenny as they hightail it!
Lenny Brasco: Who was that?!
Sherlock Waluigi: WAHH WAME!!!
Out of the shower comes the weirdest looking Waluigi so far. With an even larger nose than normal wearing a crown and wrestling trunks that say “WAHH WAME”. He holds up a game of Clue as he chases our two bumbling crime solvers…
WAHHH WAME: WIME TO WAHHH THE WAMMMMEEE!!!!
8-bit motorhead music starts to play as we cut back to Arthur and Mary.
Arthur La Forge: Welp...hopefully they’ll figure this out...eventually.
Mary DeSue: Artie...you got cheated...big time!
---
Don Tirri & Jenny vs. Magdalena Lockheart & Wendy House
Mr. Rad: Finally after all of this madness...It's time for you ma...ma...MAIN EVENT!!!...It is a tag team match! Introducing first...The Legendiki from Helsinki!! He is "Old School Cool" Don Tirri!!
The fast-paced opening riff of "Ace of Spades" by Motörhead hits the PA-system and TIrri walks through the curtain, stopping at the top of the ramp to look around the arena. With a big grin on his face he makes his way down the aisle, trashtalking the fans as he goes by. He rolls into the ring and runs to the ropes a few times before turning to the hard cam and throwing up the devil-horn salute with both hands.
Arthur La Forge: After earlier tonight Don Tirri has one thing on his mind...getting “The Final Boss” back to her old self with his sights firmly set on that title as well!
Mary DeSue: Tirri did pretty well in the match for that belt, and probably thinks, like I do, that Lockheart is being all hype right now.
Mr. Rad: And his tag team partner...from Reno, Nevada...She is The Mistress of Madness.."Queen Machine" Jenny!
“And There was Light!”
The lights turn into a mixture of turquoise and purple, flickering about the arena as the short keyboard-intro of “And there was Light” by Illnath plays through the PA-system. A single white spotlight focuses on the end of the rampway as the song kicks into its first verse.
“And the darkness that followed blinded my eyes
The night made we trustworthy and hid all my lies
I called the seventh of the eight and gave him my offer
So cold were the feelings I bore inside after I'd lost her
Sometimes I still can hear
His voices calling, calling me from everywhere
And now and then
I feel my soul slowly slipping out of myself into his... “
On the short bridge, “Queen Machine” Jenny walks through the curtains, crawling on all fours. She stops at the top of the ramp and rise up to her knees, surveying the crowd.
As the strong vocals of the song kick up again she bounces up to her feet and stalks her way down the aisleway.
“Hell claws at my window amd makes me forget
To tell her of the deal and the conditions I met and now
It's far too late to tell her what's going on here
Somehow I'm almost looking forward to when this is over
I felt my ghost cross over, and knew he was near
And across the river I could see him standing there”
As she reaches the ring she hops on the apron and drapes herself on the ropes, hanging upside down while the song reaches its solo, a manic chuckle emanating from her lips before she slithers into the ring and crawls into the corner where she bounces up to the top rope and lies down on the buckle, staring down the aisleway as the chorus kicks in.
“And there was light
And the blackness that followed blinded her eyes
The night drew her to me and we met in the dark
And this "why am I here?" where the words she said
A kiss told her responsible for her being dead “
As the song fades she rolls back to the ground in a three-point stance and prepares for action.
Arthur La Forge: Here is one crazy lady with odd motives for this match. Her focus seems to be on Wendy House!
Mary DeSue: Please...be nice to Jenny. She’s the one woman I can pull for without feeling like I’m being a shill like Lenny.
Mr. Rad: And their opponents...introducing first...She's the greatest lil' girl in the whole wide world!..."Don't bet against The House" Wendy House!!
*THE HOUSE OF PAIN IS IN EFFECT Y’ALL, AND ANYONE WHO STEPS UP IS GETTING WRECKED*
House of Pain’s “Jump Around” bounces all up in the PA and starts vibing. Wendy House, the Child Prodigy, bounds through the curtain, waving excitedly to the fans, before pointing at the ring and making a beeline for it. She slides in skipping to the ropes and bouncing on them like a trampoline until her music goes off.
Arthur La Forge: Gotta love her go getter attitude.
Mary DeSue: I will do no such thing.
Mr. Rad: And finally...Give it up for your first...Your only...THE FINAL BOSS CHAMPION OF LEVEL UP WRESTLING...
The lights in the arena go out and the opening drum riff of Puscifer's "Potions (Deliverance Mix)" opens over the public announce speakers. Soon after Maggie Magnificent emerges from behind the curtain. Lockheart steps out into the center of an indigo spotlight wearing a long black cloak. For a moment she stands at the top of the stage and briefly looks up to reveal her face. The ramp in front of her is consumed by shadows and fog. Jenova steps down the ramp in rhythm with the music and turns toward the hard-camera side of the ring.
Mr. Rad: Standing at five feet three inches tall, and weighing in at one-hundred and eleven pounds, she calls herself Heaven's Dark Harbinger, the artist known as Magdalena Lockheart!
Maggie walks around the ring with the same structured pace, moving all of the way to the southeast ringpost before pulling herself up onto the ring apron. She centers herself on the apron and stands facing the crowd.
Lockheart grabs her cloak with both hands and as the hard riff kicks in, she pulls her cloak open showing off the "Final Boss" Championship Belt! Another indigo spotlight shines straight down on her as chilled fog rains down from the ceiling and onto the crowd. She pauses for a few moments before entering the ring.
Arthur La Forge: THE CHAMP OF CHAMPS IS HERE!
Mary DeSue: Do not get us sued ya idiot!
The referee, Kirby, calls for the bell to ring as the match is called to start. Tirri goes first for his time and is motioning for Lockheart. Lockheart says sure, but before she can take a step forward House rushes forward and grabs Tirri's arm and hits an armdrag! Lockheart just shrugs, stifling a laugh, as House starts to wrench the arm of Tirri who is not happy with this. House picks up Tirri and tosses him into the ropes. House leaps up and grabs Tirri hitting a jumping DDT! House gets up and yells out "WHOSE HOUSE???" and the fans respond with "WENDY'S HOUSE!!". House runs the ropes back and forth until Tirri can get up and gets taken down with a running shoulder block that sends him back first into the turnbuckle post! House signals for the Bronco Buster!
Arthur La Forge: House is calling for a “horsey ride”!
Mary DeSue: People on only fans pay good money to see this and you get to see it here live on Twitch for free!
House runs towards Tirri to do the Bronco Buster, but as she leaps Tirri kips up and catches her on his shoulders....POWERBOMB! Tirri grabs House and picks her up in a Bearhug! Tirri eye's Lockheart the entire time, taunting "The Final Boss" as he wears down on House! He throws House, backfirst, into the turnbuckle post and then tags in Jenny. The whole time eyeing Lockheart. Jenny leaps into the ring and picks up House...throwing her into the ropes..."Royal Flush"!!! Cover by Jenny...
One...
Foot on the ropes by House!
Arthur La Forge: Good move by Jenny and a hell of a counter by Tirri, but House had enough wherewithal to know where she was in the ring.
Mary DeSue: Now if she could just learn that she’s OLD!
Jenny gets up, showing no frustration with the situation and just laughs as she tosses Wendy into the ropes again. "Jennycanrana"! Jenny picks up House and playfully slaps her face with a bitchslap! She then goes to set up House for "The Crowning", but House shoves her forward into the ropes. Bounceback...SINGLE ARM DDT BY HOUSE TO JENNY! House rolls over and tags in Lockheart!
Arthur La Forge: And here comes “The Final Boss”!
Mary DeSue: Shouldn’t there be forboding theme music now?
Tirri starts screaming at Jenny to tag him in. Jenny looks up at Lockheart and licks her lips at Lockheart. Lockheart starts to circle Jenny and Jenny licks her hand and slaps Tirri in the chest tagging him in. She blows Lockheart a kiss as Tirri looks slightly disturbed by what just happened but gets into the ring nonetheless. The "Final Boss" one on one with "Old School Cool". The fans cheer at this as both run towards each other and throw hands! Lockheart hits a "Beat Rush'' on Tirri and Tirri falls back into the ropes. Lockheart rushes to ropes on the other side and charges forward going for a running "Meteoria", but Tirri grabs the top rope and pulls it down. Lockheart launches knee's first to the outside of the ring on the padded floor!
Arthur La Forge: Using her own speed against here is a good tactic by the veteran Don Tirri!
Mary DeSue: He probably slipped and pulled something.
Tirri hops over the top rope and hits the "Old School Elbow" to Lockheart on the outside. Referee Kirby starts his count, but Tirri quickly throws Lockheart back into the ring to break it up before it gets up to a two. Tirri picks up Lockheart and starts hitting the "Morning After", after he hits her with the multiple headbutts Tirri stops for a moment and then gets headbutted again! Lockheart returns fire with the headbutts and then starts wailing on Tirri. Both wrestlers are right back where they started by punching the hell out of each other with Lockheart getting more fired up with each shot! Lockheart stops punching and hits "7 Seconds 'til the End"! She calls for "The Black Legacy"!
Arthur La Forge: Lockheart is ready to finish this off and put to rest the claims of Don Tirri!
Mary DeSue: I’m torn. I love a good stomp, but I don’t like her....
Lockheart waits for Tirri to get up to one knee, and as he does she charges, but Tirri rolls out of the way to the outside. Lockheart isn't going to put up with that, charges the ropes, and dives thru them hitting a flying forearm to the head of Tirri. She tosses Tirri back into the ring and Tirri crawls to the center of the ring. Lockheart comes in and walks over to Tirri...DROP TOE HOLD! Tirri gets up and slams Lockheart's face into the mat again. He gets up and walks over to the ropes. He motions for Lockheart to get up. Lockheart gets up and Tirri goes for "The Big Boot"...JUST AS LOCKHEART HITS A METEORA! Both wrestlers fall...
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Arthur La Forge: This could end in a double countout?!
Mary DeSue: Well you can count me out till someone gets pinned. GET UP YA SLACKERS!
Both wrestlers start to get up as their partners reach in for a hot tag. Lockheart gets to House first and rushes in. She grabs Tirri's leg and pulls him to the center of the ring. Leg Grapevine by House! She picks up Tirri and goes for a single arm DDT, but Tirri grabs the ropes and House plants herself! Tirri grabs House quickly and hits a "Sack of Shit" on House! Tirri looks to Jenny who winks at him, and she drops from her spot for him to tag. He waits...House gets up...THE BIG BOOT!! Cover...
One...
Lockheart gets into the ring...So does Jenny!
Two...
JENNYCANRANA!!! Lockheart rolls out of the ring and Jenny follows. The ref didn't see it!
THREE!!
Mr. Rad: Here is your winner...The team of Jenny and Don Tirri!!
Jenny slides into the ring and slaps Tirr on the butt for a moment as if to say “good game” and he starts yelling at her about abandoning him for the tag. Jenny just smiles and grabs House and starts beating her down. Tirri turns just in time to see Lockheart come into the ring with the “Final Boss” Title and wail on him with it! She turns to Jenny and Jenny taunts her by blowing her a kiss. Jenny jumps over the ring ropes just as Lockheart goes to hit her with the belt. Lockheart talks trash to Jenny as Jenny backs away and up the ramp. This distracts Lockheart long enough for Tirri to get up. Lockheart turns. “THE BIG BOOT”! Tirri reaches down and picks up the “Final Boss” title and holds it up.
Arthur La Forge: Jenny and Tirri win the match, and it’s got “The Final Boss” livid! Don is standing tall with that belt in his hands that isn’t his...
Mary DeSue: ...yet!
Tirri holds the title for a moment and then turns as Lockheart gets up and takes him down with a Lou Thez Press and now security is rushing the ring to separate these two! We start to fade out on the two wrestlers trash talking between security trying to keep them from coming to blows again!
Arthur La Forge: Well that’s all we have time for. I’m Arthur La Forge and for Mary DeSue we will see you next week on EXP!
Mary DeSue: Get them to the back! I gotta get out of here before the neckbeards beat me to my car!
