Post by tirri on Sept 13, 2021 11:49:42 GMT -5
A Fathers fear (offcam)
I sat on my couch, flexing my right hand back and forth, trying to get rid of the pain I had between my thumb and index finger. Duncan had done a real number on it with that shard. It’d been a painful week and a half since DMC, It’d gotten banged up worse than I had gotten in a long, long time. Even the kid had given me a rest, after making sure I’d been patched up right.
What worried me the most was the fact that the kid and Bert who was still crashing at my place after Ahmya’s disappearance had taken a road trip somewhere, and no matter what I tried, neither was willing to talk about it. So I went for the one man I knew could bring me up to speed and who would be level with me.
Matt Knox. Something tells me he knew what was going on. Somehow I just knew Knox was involved in whatever was going on with Bert and Ahmya, and that it extended beyond just the shit Ragdoll was pushing. So I messaged him and he said he’d call.
And boy howdy it was a call and a half. I could barely comprehend the magnitude of the shitstorm he had managed to get himself into. Yakuza. Human Trafficking .Kidnappings, Assassins, murders and shit. I was nigh-shell shocked when the call ended.
Because fucking hell, I thought that all Knox was hiding was another tryst or some other situation like that. Or that all Bert needed to worry about was Ragdoll and the Astro Creeps. Never in a million years I could’ve figured out the sheer extent of that shit.
And my kid had gotten pulled into it. Not only was he signed in the company where this shit was centered, SWWS, but also had taken a trip with Bert to somewhere related to it.
“Donny, get your ass down here NOW” I hollered upstairs, where Donny was doing whatever 20-something kids did in their bedrooms in the middle of the day.
It took a while, but he clambered down, looking like he’d been sleeping. “Whassup pops? Was just takin a nap.”
I stared a hole through him and cracked open two beers, pointing at the recliner opposite the couch. “Sit down. We gotta talk”
He took one look at me and sat down without even a snarky jab. Guess he figured I was serious. “Aight, What’s up Pops? If this is about what me n Bert were doin, it ain’t my place to talk”
I handed him the beer which he took, and sighed. “It is. But you don’t need to. I just got off the phone with Knox. He filled me in on what’s been going and what the fuck kid, you got ANY idea what you’ve gotten yourself involved in?”
“I do.” He responded quietly, sipping the beer I handed him. “Not like I had a choice pops, I like Ahmya, and when Bert said he needed backup, I didn’t even think about declining. It was the right thing to do.”
“I fucking know that kid, I woulda done the same. But GODDAMMIT we’re not talking about backstage politics or singular unhinged individuals here. We’re talking organized FUCKING CRIME. And the fucking Yakuza to boot…” I vented in frustration. This was the last situation I wanted to be in. Not with Donny, not after I finally found some stability in my life. It was selfish and I knew it.
The kid seemed thoughtful, glancing upwards towards the guest room that Bert had locked himself in ever since that road trip. He then turned to look at me, and I saw that I was cracking his patience. That familiar fire that I had seen in the mirror so many times was bubbling to the surface. And for a moment I was scared. Of him. Of myself. “What the fuck do you want me to do then? Tell Bert that “Sorry, I can’t help you save your wife-to-be because Pops thinks it’s too risky.”? Or should I call Mr. Morgan and tell him “Sorry, I can’t come work for you anymore because my father thinks your promotion is dangerous for me”. Is that what you want me to do?” His words hurt. But what hurt more was how he said them. It wasn’t an angry outburst or a ragefull fit. No. He spoke in a calm, stable tone… brimming with sarcastic venom.
“I…” I began but Donny immediately cut me off.
“No, I’m gonna finish here. I appreciate you giving me a roof over my head. I appreciate you training me and introducing me to the business. I appreciate you trying to be a father to me. But I’m a grown ass man Don. So don’t treat me like a teenager. I fucking KNOW how dangerous this shit is. But unlike you I refuse to just walk away when my friend is hurting. When another friend is FUCKING KIDNAPPED. I refuse to walk away when people ask for help. Yah. I’m risking a lot. But it’s the right fucking thing to do. Not that you’d know much about that”
At no point did he raise his voice. But his words hurt like nothing ever did. Especially the fact that for the first time since he told me the truth… he called me by my name. I leant back and stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to just get up and walk away, a thing I’ve always done when faced with difficulty. “I know..” I muttered weakly. It was the best I could. “Just… hear me out. If I can’t talk you out of getting involved… I can atleast give some advice.”
I looked at him, amazed by just how stoic he managed to look despite the fire I still saw in his eyes. After a moments silence he nodded and I spoke up. “I’ve had first hand experience of dealing with the Yakuza. Back in EWC, over a decade ago. There was this guy, Riki Honma and his entourage. They basically ran roughshod over the company at will, even hospitalizing the owner Mr. Stryfe. He got lucky not to die. That’s the kind of people you’re dealing with. Honma wasn’t afraid of the spotlight. Everyone KNEW what he was about, but nobody could do a damn thing about it.” I paused, weighing what I was gonna say. “And god knows what those who want to remain on the down low are willing to do. Or are capable of doing. I just. Fuck. I just don’t want to lose you kid. Not after I’ve finally found my footing in this world. I don’t want to fucking bury you because you took a bullet meant for someone else.”
There. I said it. Spilled my guts to the kid. Shit that a year ago I would have never shared with anyone because I wouldn’t have cared enough to feel it. And I think Donny realized how vulnerable I was at that moment since he finished his beer and gave me a small smile, a total 180 from the seething stare I had been getting. “You really think I’m gonna let you have a “I told you so”-moment? Pops. I won’t tell you “don’t worry” cause you’re right, this is serious shit. But look at yourself. You’re still here. You’re still alive n kicking after everything. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s instinct. Maybe there is a guardian angel looking after you. My point is, I’ll be fine. I’m not the kind of a guy who’d go guns blazing into a den of evil like Knox would. Bert needs someone to lean to until Ahmya is found. And Knox is too busy with that wife of his to go hunting after his sister-in-law.”
Somehow his response made me feel better. I still wasn’t over being worried of course, it is the fucking Yakuza we’re talking about, but the fact that he knows he isn’t immortal and won’t be playing the hero made me rest easier. I chugged down my beer and lit up a cigarette. “You’re too smart for your own good kid…” I chuckled, draining the tension from the atmosphere. “I guess that’s why Bert came for you and not me. Friends are hard to come by in this biz, treasure those you got” I couldn’t resist dropping some fatherly wisdom at the end.
Donny shook his head in amusement and stood up. “I hear ya pops. Now, is there any other lecture you wanna give me or can I go back to napping? We got a full day tomorrow so I’d like to rest abit”
I shooed him off with a gesture and he walked upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I scanned through the memorabilia-shelf I had set up in the living room with pictures from across my career and chuckled. “I don’t think the world is ready for a Tirri 2.0.”
I stumped my cigarette and got up, planning to grab something to eat, when I suddenly realized that something Donny said hadn’t lined up with what I knew. So I rushed up the stairs and yanked the kids door open. “Wait. Knox’s WIFE?”
Donny was already half asleep, blinking drowsily at me. “Yeah. Kamari. Bert told me they got hitched.” His eyes then bulged out and he cussed under his breath. “FUCK. Knox didn’t tell you did he? Bert told me to keep it quiet…”
I facepalmed and sighed. “No. he didn’t. I fucking knew it.”
The kid shrugged and I closed his door, walking downstairs as I whipped my phone out and tweeted to Knox how he had left a pretty important detail out. I sat down on the dining room table and rubbed my temples. “Anna mun kaikki kestää…”
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*the following is an audio-file submitted to LevelUpWresling’s website*
So, DMC is behind us and there is no way around it. Duncan beat me. It was by and far the bloodiest and most grueling match of my career and the most physically demanding moment of my life. I gave it my all, but he came out on top. I won’t start spewing excuses or bitching about nuances. Two men waged a war and one came out on top. That is all there is to it. All I can do is pick myself up, lick my wounds and get ready for the next challenge.
And the next challenge is coming sooner than I anticipated. At EXP13 I’ll be wrestling EAB and Larry Tact for a shot of the Power title. In other words I am facing two guys I’ve already proven I am better of, for a shot at a title I’ve failed twice to gain. Someone might say I should just take a dive and let someone else get bruised by Duncan but… that someone doesn’t know me.
Einstein supposedly once said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Well, then I might be insane because I will be going through those two to get a new swing at Duncan. Why? Because if DMC proved something, it’s that him and I are pretty damn close in talent. He won yes, but it wasn’t a squash. It was a closely fought battle and next time? Next time the outcome is the opposite. And that is why I am going to be there. I said on my promo for DMC that my ultimate goal is a match for the Final Boss title at Final Fantasy. And to get there I gotta go through Duncan Shepard and after that the Tri-force heroes match. Well, I’m not a quitter. I still have an opportunity to accomplish that and believe me you, I will put everything on the line to do it.
My time in LevelUp can be summarized with “Close, but not close enough” and I’m getting mighty tired of it. Every time I fall, I learn something and get better. And sooner than later all that will add up and I pull off that one big win I need. And once I do that? Once I finally vanquish that demon and break through the wall? Thats when the roll begins and that momentum will take me to the highest peak. Will it be this time? We’ll see.
Not like my opponents are strangers to me. Larry Tact I’ve crossed paths with multiple times. In Multiplayer matches as a foe or an ally. In Battle Royals and in the Skeleton Key match. And one thing has always been obvious in those: He’s good. But not good enough. He got one over me once. In the Skeleton Key match, when he got lucky with that drop toehold and busted me open. After I had his number all match long. So who knows. Maybe EXP13 is the moment we finally find out who is TRULY the better of us two. I mean, you’ve not exactly had a stellar record. Yeah, neither do I, but while I lose titlematches, you lose contender-matches. You’re like me Tact, just a step behind. Don’t take this as me selling you short though. No, thats not what this is. I know you can pull off an upset when you really apply yourself. As I said, you did get lucky against me once. And I know full well that if I take my eye off the ball and take you for granted that will just happen again. But see Larry, this time there isn’t an Eli to take a fall or a Duncan to put you down. There’s EAB. And if you go all tunnelvision on me due to our past entanglements… he’ll end up walking away with the spoils. So yeah Larry, I’m not selling you short. But I am only keeping one eye on you because the other eye needs to be on the slimiest dog in the match.
EAB. The businessman. The CEO. The briefcase man. You and I tested each others mettle before. At EXP7 in the Skeleton Key qualifier match. I came out victorious. But I see you’ve been busy since. You know just as well as I do how tough Maggie Lockheart is. Something the third wheel in this match, Tact, doesn’t. But even to make it up there in the main event of a PPV is a mighty fine achievement. But almost doesn’t count. Be it in sales or in wrestling, only success counts.
And neither of us has really had it. So at EXP13 I expect you to pull out all the stops, cash in all the favors you’re owed, pull all the strings you have access to in an attempt to get one over me and Larry. But the sad fact is EA, those won’t help you when that bell rings. I’ve come too far and sacrificed too much to give up now. I WILL have my rematch with Duncan. I WILL go to TFH and win the Triforce Title. And I WILL be at the main event of Final Fantasy. That is where my path leads. And beating you is necessary to do that.
EXP13 will see me at my finest once again. The match with me and Duncan was probably the best match in DMC, and one of the best ones in the history of LevelUp. And at EXP14 I am going to throw that monkey off my back for good.
The rest of you? You’re just stepping stones. And I AM going to walk all over you.
That is a guarantee.
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After I finally managed to record my promo for the show, I kicked back and relaxed back home. I had the house all to myself as Bert was out looking for Ahmya, and Donny was out working for SWWS.
After the talk we had, he had asked me to let him do his own thing and I had promised to not helicopter-parent him, even if I had wanted to drive down to the show with him.
I was midway through my third beer when my phone beeped with a message. I picked it up and read the text.
“Kazoka sent a message. Donny’s in the hospital.”
Color drained from my face and I quickly called Matt Knox, getting the details of the situation. I was halfway out of the door with carkeys in hand before the phonecall even ended.
It was gonna be a long drive. But I was gonna make it. My kid was lying in the hospital.
“Why him…” I muttered to myself as I speeded down the highway. Why him? Fuck…
I sat on my couch, flexing my right hand back and forth, trying to get rid of the pain I had between my thumb and index finger. Duncan had done a real number on it with that shard. It’d been a painful week and a half since DMC, It’d gotten banged up worse than I had gotten in a long, long time. Even the kid had given me a rest, after making sure I’d been patched up right.
What worried me the most was the fact that the kid and Bert who was still crashing at my place after Ahmya’s disappearance had taken a road trip somewhere, and no matter what I tried, neither was willing to talk about it. So I went for the one man I knew could bring me up to speed and who would be level with me.
Matt Knox. Something tells me he knew what was going on. Somehow I just knew Knox was involved in whatever was going on with Bert and Ahmya, and that it extended beyond just the shit Ragdoll was pushing. So I messaged him and he said he’d call.
And boy howdy it was a call and a half. I could barely comprehend the magnitude of the shitstorm he had managed to get himself into. Yakuza. Human Trafficking .Kidnappings, Assassins, murders and shit. I was nigh-shell shocked when the call ended.
Because fucking hell, I thought that all Knox was hiding was another tryst or some other situation like that. Or that all Bert needed to worry about was Ragdoll and the Astro Creeps. Never in a million years I could’ve figured out the sheer extent of that shit.
And my kid had gotten pulled into it. Not only was he signed in the company where this shit was centered, SWWS, but also had taken a trip with Bert to somewhere related to it.
“Donny, get your ass down here NOW” I hollered upstairs, where Donny was doing whatever 20-something kids did in their bedrooms in the middle of the day.
It took a while, but he clambered down, looking like he’d been sleeping. “Whassup pops? Was just takin a nap.”
I stared a hole through him and cracked open two beers, pointing at the recliner opposite the couch. “Sit down. We gotta talk”
He took one look at me and sat down without even a snarky jab. Guess he figured I was serious. “Aight, What’s up Pops? If this is about what me n Bert were doin, it ain’t my place to talk”
I handed him the beer which he took, and sighed. “It is. But you don’t need to. I just got off the phone with Knox. He filled me in on what’s been going and what the fuck kid, you got ANY idea what you’ve gotten yourself involved in?”
“I do.” He responded quietly, sipping the beer I handed him. “Not like I had a choice pops, I like Ahmya, and when Bert said he needed backup, I didn’t even think about declining. It was the right thing to do.”
“I fucking know that kid, I woulda done the same. But GODDAMMIT we’re not talking about backstage politics or singular unhinged individuals here. We’re talking organized FUCKING CRIME. And the fucking Yakuza to boot…” I vented in frustration. This was the last situation I wanted to be in. Not with Donny, not after I finally found some stability in my life. It was selfish and I knew it.
The kid seemed thoughtful, glancing upwards towards the guest room that Bert had locked himself in ever since that road trip. He then turned to look at me, and I saw that I was cracking his patience. That familiar fire that I had seen in the mirror so many times was bubbling to the surface. And for a moment I was scared. Of him. Of myself. “What the fuck do you want me to do then? Tell Bert that “Sorry, I can’t help you save your wife-to-be because Pops thinks it’s too risky.”? Or should I call Mr. Morgan and tell him “Sorry, I can’t come work for you anymore because my father thinks your promotion is dangerous for me”. Is that what you want me to do?” His words hurt. But what hurt more was how he said them. It wasn’t an angry outburst or a ragefull fit. No. He spoke in a calm, stable tone… brimming with sarcastic venom.
“I…” I began but Donny immediately cut me off.
“No, I’m gonna finish here. I appreciate you giving me a roof over my head. I appreciate you training me and introducing me to the business. I appreciate you trying to be a father to me. But I’m a grown ass man Don. So don’t treat me like a teenager. I fucking KNOW how dangerous this shit is. But unlike you I refuse to just walk away when my friend is hurting. When another friend is FUCKING KIDNAPPED. I refuse to walk away when people ask for help. Yah. I’m risking a lot. But it’s the right fucking thing to do. Not that you’d know much about that”
At no point did he raise his voice. But his words hurt like nothing ever did. Especially the fact that for the first time since he told me the truth… he called me by my name. I leant back and stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to just get up and walk away, a thing I’ve always done when faced with difficulty. “I know..” I muttered weakly. It was the best I could. “Just… hear me out. If I can’t talk you out of getting involved… I can atleast give some advice.”
I looked at him, amazed by just how stoic he managed to look despite the fire I still saw in his eyes. After a moments silence he nodded and I spoke up. “I’ve had first hand experience of dealing with the Yakuza. Back in EWC, over a decade ago. There was this guy, Riki Honma and his entourage. They basically ran roughshod over the company at will, even hospitalizing the owner Mr. Stryfe. He got lucky not to die. That’s the kind of people you’re dealing with. Honma wasn’t afraid of the spotlight. Everyone KNEW what he was about, but nobody could do a damn thing about it.” I paused, weighing what I was gonna say. “And god knows what those who want to remain on the down low are willing to do. Or are capable of doing. I just. Fuck. I just don’t want to lose you kid. Not after I’ve finally found my footing in this world. I don’t want to fucking bury you because you took a bullet meant for someone else.”
There. I said it. Spilled my guts to the kid. Shit that a year ago I would have never shared with anyone because I wouldn’t have cared enough to feel it. And I think Donny realized how vulnerable I was at that moment since he finished his beer and gave me a small smile, a total 180 from the seething stare I had been getting. “You really think I’m gonna let you have a “I told you so”-moment? Pops. I won’t tell you “don’t worry” cause you’re right, this is serious shit. But look at yourself. You’re still here. You’re still alive n kicking after everything. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s instinct. Maybe there is a guardian angel looking after you. My point is, I’ll be fine. I’m not the kind of a guy who’d go guns blazing into a den of evil like Knox would. Bert needs someone to lean to until Ahmya is found. And Knox is too busy with that wife of his to go hunting after his sister-in-law.”
Somehow his response made me feel better. I still wasn’t over being worried of course, it is the fucking Yakuza we’re talking about, but the fact that he knows he isn’t immortal and won’t be playing the hero made me rest easier. I chugged down my beer and lit up a cigarette. “You’re too smart for your own good kid…” I chuckled, draining the tension from the atmosphere. “I guess that’s why Bert came for you and not me. Friends are hard to come by in this biz, treasure those you got” I couldn’t resist dropping some fatherly wisdom at the end.
Donny shook his head in amusement and stood up. “I hear ya pops. Now, is there any other lecture you wanna give me or can I go back to napping? We got a full day tomorrow so I’d like to rest abit”
I shooed him off with a gesture and he walked upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I scanned through the memorabilia-shelf I had set up in the living room with pictures from across my career and chuckled. “I don’t think the world is ready for a Tirri 2.0.”
I stumped my cigarette and got up, planning to grab something to eat, when I suddenly realized that something Donny said hadn’t lined up with what I knew. So I rushed up the stairs and yanked the kids door open. “Wait. Knox’s WIFE?”
Donny was already half asleep, blinking drowsily at me. “Yeah. Kamari. Bert told me they got hitched.” His eyes then bulged out and he cussed under his breath. “FUCK. Knox didn’t tell you did he? Bert told me to keep it quiet…”
I facepalmed and sighed. “No. he didn’t. I fucking knew it.”
The kid shrugged and I closed his door, walking downstairs as I whipped my phone out and tweeted to Knox how he had left a pretty important detail out. I sat down on the dining room table and rubbed my temples. “Anna mun kaikki kestää…”
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*the following is an audio-file submitted to LevelUpWresling’s website*
So, DMC is behind us and there is no way around it. Duncan beat me. It was by and far the bloodiest and most grueling match of my career and the most physically demanding moment of my life. I gave it my all, but he came out on top. I won’t start spewing excuses or bitching about nuances. Two men waged a war and one came out on top. That is all there is to it. All I can do is pick myself up, lick my wounds and get ready for the next challenge.
And the next challenge is coming sooner than I anticipated. At EXP13 I’ll be wrestling EAB and Larry Tact for a shot of the Power title. In other words I am facing two guys I’ve already proven I am better of, for a shot at a title I’ve failed twice to gain. Someone might say I should just take a dive and let someone else get bruised by Duncan but… that someone doesn’t know me.
Einstein supposedly once said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Well, then I might be insane because I will be going through those two to get a new swing at Duncan. Why? Because if DMC proved something, it’s that him and I are pretty damn close in talent. He won yes, but it wasn’t a squash. It was a closely fought battle and next time? Next time the outcome is the opposite. And that is why I am going to be there. I said on my promo for DMC that my ultimate goal is a match for the Final Boss title at Final Fantasy. And to get there I gotta go through Duncan Shepard and after that the Tri-force heroes match. Well, I’m not a quitter. I still have an opportunity to accomplish that and believe me you, I will put everything on the line to do it.
My time in LevelUp can be summarized with “Close, but not close enough” and I’m getting mighty tired of it. Every time I fall, I learn something and get better. And sooner than later all that will add up and I pull off that one big win I need. And once I do that? Once I finally vanquish that demon and break through the wall? Thats when the roll begins and that momentum will take me to the highest peak. Will it be this time? We’ll see.
Not like my opponents are strangers to me. Larry Tact I’ve crossed paths with multiple times. In Multiplayer matches as a foe or an ally. In Battle Royals and in the Skeleton Key match. And one thing has always been obvious in those: He’s good. But not good enough. He got one over me once. In the Skeleton Key match, when he got lucky with that drop toehold and busted me open. After I had his number all match long. So who knows. Maybe EXP13 is the moment we finally find out who is TRULY the better of us two. I mean, you’ve not exactly had a stellar record. Yeah, neither do I, but while I lose titlematches, you lose contender-matches. You’re like me Tact, just a step behind. Don’t take this as me selling you short though. No, thats not what this is. I know you can pull off an upset when you really apply yourself. As I said, you did get lucky against me once. And I know full well that if I take my eye off the ball and take you for granted that will just happen again. But see Larry, this time there isn’t an Eli to take a fall or a Duncan to put you down. There’s EAB. And if you go all tunnelvision on me due to our past entanglements… he’ll end up walking away with the spoils. So yeah Larry, I’m not selling you short. But I am only keeping one eye on you because the other eye needs to be on the slimiest dog in the match.
EAB. The businessman. The CEO. The briefcase man. You and I tested each others mettle before. At EXP7 in the Skeleton Key qualifier match. I came out victorious. But I see you’ve been busy since. You know just as well as I do how tough Maggie Lockheart is. Something the third wheel in this match, Tact, doesn’t. But even to make it up there in the main event of a PPV is a mighty fine achievement. But almost doesn’t count. Be it in sales or in wrestling, only success counts.
And neither of us has really had it. So at EXP13 I expect you to pull out all the stops, cash in all the favors you’re owed, pull all the strings you have access to in an attempt to get one over me and Larry. But the sad fact is EA, those won’t help you when that bell rings. I’ve come too far and sacrificed too much to give up now. I WILL have my rematch with Duncan. I WILL go to TFH and win the Triforce Title. And I WILL be at the main event of Final Fantasy. That is where my path leads. And beating you is necessary to do that.
EXP13 will see me at my finest once again. The match with me and Duncan was probably the best match in DMC, and one of the best ones in the history of LevelUp. And at EXP14 I am going to throw that monkey off my back for good.
The rest of you? You’re just stepping stones. And I AM going to walk all over you.
That is a guarantee.
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After I finally managed to record my promo for the show, I kicked back and relaxed back home. I had the house all to myself as Bert was out looking for Ahmya, and Donny was out working for SWWS.
After the talk we had, he had asked me to let him do his own thing and I had promised to not helicopter-parent him, even if I had wanted to drive down to the show with him.
I was midway through my third beer when my phone beeped with a message. I picked it up and read the text.
“Kazoka sent a message. Donny’s in the hospital.”
Color drained from my face and I quickly called Matt Knox, getting the details of the situation. I was halfway out of the door with carkeys in hand before the phonecall even ended.
It was gonna be a long drive. But I was gonna make it. My kid was lying in the hospital.
“Why him…” I muttered to myself as I speeded down the highway. Why him? Fuck…
