The "Officially" Unofficial LUW Rankings--Year One
Jan 11, 2022 17:22:15 GMT -5
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Post by Duane on Jan 11, 2022 17:22:15 GMT -5
A NOTE FROM DUANE: The following is written in-character as an underpaid staffer for LUW. It in no way represents my (out of character/RP judging) actual opinions or thoughts on the character(s) in question. Mr. Rad does not like opinions and wants things done strictly by the numbers though he did allow for one bit of opinion about halfway down the list. “Numbers never lie” after all…except when they do. 
Normal opening prose goes here. I’m not putting this in yet, since they expect me (and only me!) to be working during their vaunted “vacation” in January. Fine by me. Just means that I’ll half-ass this list and then look for jobs elsewhere. I’m better than being the…the hell did he say on the phone? The “corporate meatbag serf” of this place? The fuck is that, anyway?
Anyway, I can’t be arsed to do much research in the older shows, I’m not paid enough for that mess. People are that invested, they can look it up themselves. I have a dog I need to get home to before he tears my new carpet to shreds.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: The above text has been left in verbatim per the order of Mr. Rad, who also wishes to state that no other place will have to endure the criticisms and lazy nature of the author of this paper…or the destructive nature of the canine in question.)
79. Valentine: 1 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -6.287 points.
I’m not sure how you can do worse than the Waluigis, but here’s proof that it’s possible!
78. Giant Waluigi: 0 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -6.136 points.
The true loser of the Waluigi World Order….WAAAAHHHHH!
77. Dude Waluigi: 1 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 10% Win Percentage, -5.996 points.
That win against Sidroy Covington IV didn’t do him any favors in the end.
76. HIS MONSTER: 1 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 20% Win Percentage, -5.729 points.
Came in strong, got derailed early and couldn’t find his mojo again after that.
75. Nero Phoenix: 0 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -5.153 points.
74. Adam Miller: 3 wins, 6 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 35% Win Percentage, -4.900 points.
An attempted comeback didn’t fare so well for him, ran into The Faction and was beaten down heavily afterwards.
73. Ace Sky: 0 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -4.26 points.
72. Arthur Fisk: 0 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -4.212 points.
71. ISAAC: 6 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 42.857% Win Percentage, -3.895 points.
When you’re the one who eats the pins most often for The Faction, you’re going to look weaker than the rest of them even if you’re a hulking giant. Just ask Giant Waluigi if you don’t believe me.
70. Brendan Logan: 0 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.862 points.
69. Wendy House: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -3.65 points.
68. Walink: 0 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.633 points.
A later arrival to the WWO means he didn’t suffer as badly as most.
67. Android 69: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -3.551 points.
Would have placed better had…its?...team not lost to The Faction at Final Fantasy.
66. Ataxia: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.253 points.
65. Teddy Warren: 2 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -3.186 points.
64. Jennifer Williams: 1 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -2.685 points.
63. Sister Sin: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -2.419 points.
62. Ciela Luiz: 3 wins, 8 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 29.167% Win Percentage, -2.416 points.
61. GI: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -2.324 points.
Who the heck remembers this guy anyway? He hasn’t been relevant since OWF!
60. Thomas McAllister: 0 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -2.259 points.
59. PEEZEE: 1 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -1.806 points.
See also “Android 69.”
58. Nocturne: 1 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -1.712 points.
I don’t care what kind of ovation she got after her last match, Nocturne’s still a jobber. All of them.
57. Drew Dangerous: 0 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.698 points.
56. Boris Forstora: 1 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -1.603 points.
55. Amber Payne: 2 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -1.555 points.
54. Dominique Moriarty: 0 wins, 4 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 10% Win Percentage, -1.533 points.
Came in for the Extra Lives Round Robin, lost those lives quick and didn’t have a continue handy.
52. Waluigi II: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.5 points.
52. Waluigi III: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.5 points.
The forgotten members of the WWO, quickly replaced by some people with actual personality.
51. Cypher: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.375 points.
50. Brandon Hendrix: 4 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -1.325 points.
Also had a match against Walink scrapped due to kicking the guy’s ass before the match even began. Otherwise would be 5-4 by Mr. Rad’s reckoning.
49. Matt Knox: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.697 points.
48. Chassie Fear: 1 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -0.685 points.
47. Princess Waluigi: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.65 points.
The highest ranking member of the WWO, which I guess is fitting given she’s royalty and all. Only one appearance and didn’t eat the pinfall so she got off light compared to the rest of the WWO.
46. Centurion: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.592 points.
45. Sah'ta Thor: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.534 points.
44. Tyler Cage: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.532 points.
43. Kylie Moore: 2 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 66.667% Win Percentage, -0.462 points.
42. Cara Strader: 2 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 40% Win Percentage, -0.39 points.
41. Estrella Luiz: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.259 points.
40. James Wilcox: 7 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.667% Win Percentage, -0.202 points.
After the rest of The Faction turned on him, no one knows when The Wizard will return.
39. Diamond Steele: 1 wins, 5 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 21.429% Win Percentage, -0.155 points.
38. Johnny Fringe: 3 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -0.023 points.
37. Chelsea Skye: 2 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.179 points.
36. The Delivery Girl: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.275 points.
Not gonna lie, I liked her energy. Wish she’d stuck around, though my wallet is grateful because every time she was on camera I had the sudden urge to order pizza or something and it’s not like this place pays me enough to enjoy food or anything...
35. Makayla Vayden: 3 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.286 points.
Clearly the star of the Time Jumpers before she was done dirty by Ciela Ruiz.
34. Joseph War: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.557 points.
33. Lord Raab: 7 wins, 7 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.592 points.
At a few points over the year Lord Raab was in the top 10 in ranking, reaching as high as 7th once, but even a single well-placed upset will put an end to that real quick. Raab unfortunately had a few of those, so I think this is a case of the numbers actually lying. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Mr. Rad wishes me to note that the numbers never lie despite what this meatbag said. His comment about Raab being in the top 10 a couple of times is accurate, however.)
32. Drake Wilcox: 6 wins, 7 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.154% Win Percentage, 0.652 points.
Drake had best watch out. If ISAAC got wise to the fact that Drake rarely took the falls for his team, and earned the falls more often than ISAAC, this team may also be split up before even becoming a thing with the Game Changers.
31. Supreme Machine: 2 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 66.667% Win Percentage, 0.887 points.
30. The Avenger: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.159 points.
They say that a hero will save us. I’m not going to stand here and wait, though.
29. Erika Crawford: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, 1.229 points.
28. Ragdoll: 2 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 1.306 points.
27. Sebastian Everett-Bryce III: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, 1.314 points.
Even after atrophy penalties, this is still respectable for just one appearance, back during The Last of Us.
26. Nicky Skylar: 2 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.508 points.
25. Emily Simms: 1 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 1.559 points.
Just sneaking into the top 25, the bulk of her points come from earning the pinfall in a tag match alongside Commander Shepard. Jury’s still out on how well she can do when not accompanied by the Commander, as a No Decision at Final Fantasy didn’t do her many favors.
24. Lex Collins: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 1.63 points.
Started off undefeated in LUW, going 3-0 in the first three shows, but The Last of Us shook his confidence and he never recovered after that. By Combat Evolved, he was gone.
23. Natsumi Rekara: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.87 points.
A very late debut to the company, her rank is based off a win against then-ranked-36th Amber Payne. More time is needed to see how she fares in extended competition.
22. Donny Mason: 2 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 40% Win Percentage, 1.959 points. CURRENT MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION.
Turns out, scoring the pinfall against a pair of wrestlers in the top 6 at the time will really boost your score through the roof. Mason was 59th heading into that match and look where he ended up. Time will tell whether he improves under the wing of his father.
21. Tempest: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 2.199 points.
After a mediocre showing at The Last of Us, he came back at EXP 11 to upset Bert McAlroy, which is where all of his points came from.
20. EA Blizzard: 10 wins, 7 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 58.333% Win Percentage, 2.23 points.
Ranking as high as 12th at one point (two shows before he would fight for the Final Boss Championship), Blizzard has been a workhorse in LUW. He just needs that one big run to push him into the main event and not as a monster of the month style challenger.
19. Bryan Ford: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, 2.253 points.
A stellar performance in The Last of Us saw Bryan in the top 10 for a fair bit before the atrophy penalty started to wear his score down. The fact that he finished this far up despite it shows that he still has the talent to make a run wherever he goes.
18. Jack Michaels: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 3.258 points.
From starting first in The Last Of Us to nearly winning it all, Jack Michaels was a presence in the upper ranks for weeks after his eventual departure. The atrophy penalty eventually wore him down to this spot.
17. Eli Goode: 7 wins, 11 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 39.474% Win Percentage, 3.346 points.
Eli is a prime example of a timely upset doing wonders for you. At one point he lost six straight matches, but a couple of upsets over EA Blizzard and James Wilcox meant that somehow despite the losing record, Eli ends up this far on the ranking list.
16. Kat Jones: 2 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 83.333% Win Percentage, 3.54 points.
Fairly new to Level Up, the jury’s still out on Kat. She’s looked impressive so far but as with a few others, we need to see more of her before we can say whether her place on the list is properly earned.
15. LEGION: 3 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 3.937 points.
Start with am impressive showing at The Last of Us, and factor in a run that almost led to the Wisdom Championship, and you have a wrestler with a rank that feels truly earned even after the atrophy penalty set in.
14. Don Tirri: 12 wins, 11 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 52.174% Win Percentage, 4.265 points. CURRENT MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION
Despite his experience, Don could never get any sort of streak going. Win 3 straight, lose 2 straight, win 2 straight, lose 2 straight, win 3 straight, lose 2 straight. The back-and-forth did him no favors on momentum in the calculations, but timely wins ensure he remained a constant in the top 20 in the second half of the year.
13. Andre Poelon: 4 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 44.444% Win Percentage, 4.497 points.
So, what happens when, in your second match, your team upsets a red-hot Faction team, and then you manage to avoid a long losing streak afterward? You end up here, probably a little higher than expected but still with am impressive resume despite a losing record.
12. Sidroy Covington IV: 12 wins, 7 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 62.5% Win Percentage, 4.833 points. FORMER WISDOM CHAMPION
A pair of four-match winning streaks, with only a slight blip at the end of the year, combined with a lengthy title run ensures that the Ever Fortunate One ends up well-placed on the list. At one point, he was ranked fifth in the company…but then he ran into Dude Waluigi and it took him a while to recover from that. His high rank? Just a show before that, when he was fourth.
11. Jenny: 12 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 57.143% Win Percentage, 5.518 points. FORMER COURAGE CHAMPION
Don’t let the makeup fool you. The Queen Machine is not one to be trifled with. In fact, heading into Final Fantasy, Jenny was ranked third in the company before losing a heartbreaker in the Courage Championship match on Night Two. One of the most consistent performers on the roster, it’s only a question of when, rather than if, she claims gold once more.
10. Joey Crash: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 6.456 points.
A couple of big-time wins at those points helped propel Joey Crash into a top 10 spot, though you may decide among yourselves whether the numbers are lying again. (EDITOR’S NOTE: They aren’t.) A win over HIS MONSTER and then an upset over third-ranked Bert McAlroy were the catalysts for the rocketing up the charts Crash experienced at the end of the year.
9. Buster Gloves: 5 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 6.817 points.
It’s probably safe to assume that this is not an anomaly. Buster has come in to Level Up on fire and no one has been able to solve his puzzle yet. After an absolute war with HIS MONSTER at Final Fantasy, it’s entirely possible that gold lies in his future.
8. Antonio Ricci: 6 wins, 3 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 63.636% Win Percentage, 7.117 points.
Here’s another name from the dawn of Level Up. At one point the top wrestler in the company—even while not the Final Boss Champion—Ricci was a clear threat in every match he was in. While we still don’t know if he ever recovered from the attack he suffered at the hands of assailants unknown at Dead By Daylight, there’s no argument that he was one of the standard-bearers in the early shows of Level Up’s life.
7. Ahmya: 12 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 7.682 points. FORMER MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION, CURRENT WISDOM CHAMPION
A pair of five-match win streaks—one leading to the Multiplayer Championship, the other to becoming the Roundest Robin—helped Ahmya roll to a very respectable spot on the final ranking table. At one point, she was as high as third before being upset for the Multiplayer Championship at Final Fantasy Night 1. Winning the Wisdom Title the following night put her in good stead as year two begins.
6. Dionysus: 7 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.667% Win Percentage, 7.757 points. CURRENT COURAGE CHAMPION
Alright, show of hands. How many people thought Dionysus would be this high in the rankings after a very poor start to his Level Up tenure in The Last of Us? Teaming with Andre Poelon was a major factor in revitalizing his career, and his showing in the Extra Lives Round Robin also helped. Once again, this shows the power of a good upset, as knocking off third-ranked Jenny for the Courage Championship means he comes into year two ready to make a bigger impact.
5. Victoria Salinas: 4 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 90% Win Percentage, 7.856 points.
I already hear the outcry. “How is she ahead of Buster Gloves?” That can be summed up in one answer: because she beat fifth-ranked Larry Tact at EXP 18 and carried that momentum into Final Fantasy. With a win over the new Power Champion, could we possibly see a betrayal in the making within the Game Changers?
4. Bert McAlroy: 16 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 64% Win Percentage, 8.281 points. FORMER MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION. FORMER COURAGE CHAMPION. FORMER TRIFORCE CHAMPION. CURRENT FINAL BOSS CHAMPION.
It took Bert the better part of six months to find his rhythm in Level Up but when he did, there was very little stopping him. Reaching as high as third before an upset to Joey Crash at EXP 16, Bert proceeded to prove to all his doubters that it’s not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. A hard fought, if not controversial, victory over Magdalena Lockheart means that Bert enters year two with the top title, but still a chip on his shoulder as he’s not the top person in the company even after reaching the top of the mountain.
3. Larry Tact: 13 wins, 10 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 56% Win Percentage, 8.98 points. CURRENT POWER CHAMPION
Larry did not start getting on track until Combat Evolved, but once he managed to find a groove the hits just kept coming. While unable to put together a string of wins similar or others in the promotion, Larry found himself in contention for titles almost constantly, and a win against Bert McAlroy (then ranked 4th at the time) on EXP 15 was the final catalyst to send him into the highest reaches of the roster. With a title in his hands and a new faction in Level Up behind him, it’s safe to say that year two may be the year that Larry Tact becomes the Final Boss.
2. Duncan Shepard: 12 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 83.333% Win Percentage, 14.212 points.
FORMER POWER CHAMPION
How did Commander Shepard end up at number two? Win streaks and being a dominant champion for the bulk of the year. A two-win streak, followed by a seven-match one (only dwarfed by one person…take a wild guess), and another three-match streak mean that even stumbling at the end of the year, Shepard enters year two looking to make that last push into the top spot, whether it be through Bert, the Game Changers, or even the woman who stayed above him in the rankings ever since he claimed the number two spot for good at EXP 15…
1. Magdalena Lockheart: 14 wins, 5 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 71.429% Win Percentage, 23.07 points. THE LAST OF US WINNER. FORMER FINAL BOSS CHAMPION.
Really. If this wasn’t expected then you haven’t been watching Level Up all year. I mean, where to begin? Co-first in at The Last of Us to winning it and becoming champion. An eight-match win streak that is tops in the promotion. Four defenses of the Final Boss Championship. Aside from the earliest parts of the year and trading the top spot with Antonio Ricci, year one of Level Up has been The Rebirth of Magdalena Lockheart. If year two is anything like year one was, expect Maggie to be gunning for Bert McAlroy and the Final Boss championship sooner rather than later.
Level Up Wrestling: End of Year One Rankings
As prepared by Doug Whitaker, at therequest demand of The Developer and Mr. Rad
As prepared by Doug Whitaker, at the
Normal opening prose goes here. I’m not putting this in yet, since they expect me (and only me!) to be working during their vaunted “vacation” in January. Fine by me. Just means that I’ll half-ass this list and then look for jobs elsewhere. I’m better than being the…the hell did he say on the phone? The “corporate meatbag serf” of this place? The fuck is that, anyway?
Anyway, I can’t be arsed to do much research in the older shows, I’m not paid enough for that mess. People are that invested, they can look it up themselves. I have a dog I need to get home to before he tears my new carpet to shreds.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: The above text has been left in verbatim per the order of Mr. Rad, who also wishes to state that no other place will have to endure the criticisms and lazy nature of the author of this paper…or the destructive nature of the canine in question.)
79. Valentine: 1 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -6.287 points.
I’m not sure how you can do worse than the Waluigis, but here’s proof that it’s possible!
78. Giant Waluigi: 0 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -6.136 points.
The true loser of the Waluigi World Order….WAAAAHHHHH!
77. Dude Waluigi: 1 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 10% Win Percentage, -5.996 points.
That win against Sidroy Covington IV didn’t do him any favors in the end.
76. HIS MONSTER: 1 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 20% Win Percentage, -5.729 points.
Came in strong, got derailed early and couldn’t find his mojo again after that.
75. Nero Phoenix: 0 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -5.153 points.
74. Adam Miller: 3 wins, 6 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 35% Win Percentage, -4.900 points.
An attempted comeback didn’t fare so well for him, ran into The Faction and was beaten down heavily afterwards.
73. Ace Sky: 0 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -4.26 points.
72. Arthur Fisk: 0 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -4.212 points.
71. ISAAC: 6 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 42.857% Win Percentage, -3.895 points.
When you’re the one who eats the pins most often for The Faction, you’re going to look weaker than the rest of them even if you’re a hulking giant. Just ask Giant Waluigi if you don’t believe me.
70. Brendan Logan: 0 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.862 points.
69. Wendy House: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -3.65 points.
68. Walink: 0 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.633 points.
A later arrival to the WWO means he didn’t suffer as badly as most.
67. Android 69: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -3.551 points.
Would have placed better had…its?...team not lost to The Faction at Final Fantasy.
66. Ataxia: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -3.253 points.
65. Teddy Warren: 2 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -3.186 points.
64. Jennifer Williams: 1 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -2.685 points.
63. Sister Sin: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -2.419 points.
62. Ciela Luiz: 3 wins, 8 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 29.167% Win Percentage, -2.416 points.
61. GI: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -2.324 points.
Who the heck remembers this guy anyway? He hasn’t been relevant since OWF!
60. Thomas McAllister: 0 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -2.259 points.
59. PEEZEE: 1 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -1.806 points.
See also “Android 69.”
58. Nocturne: 1 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 16.667% Win Percentage, -1.712 points.
I don’t care what kind of ovation she got after her last match, Nocturne’s still a jobber. All of them.
57. Drew Dangerous: 0 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.698 points.
56. Boris Forstora: 1 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -1.603 points.
55. Amber Payne: 2 wins, 6 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 25% Win Percentage, -1.555 points.
54. Dominique Moriarty: 0 wins, 4 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 10% Win Percentage, -1.533 points.
Came in for the Extra Lives Round Robin, lost those lives quick and didn’t have a continue handy.
52. Waluigi II: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.5 points.
52. Waluigi III: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.5 points.
The forgotten members of the WWO, quickly replaced by some people with actual personality.
51. Cypher: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -1.375 points.
50. Brandon Hendrix: 4 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -1.325 points.
Also had a match against Walink scrapped due to kicking the guy’s ass before the match even began. Otherwise would be 5-4 by Mr. Rad’s reckoning.
49. Matt Knox: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.697 points.
48. Chassie Fear: 1 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, -0.685 points.
47. Princess Waluigi: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.65 points.
The highest ranking member of the WWO, which I guess is fitting given she’s royalty and all. Only one appearance and didn’t eat the pinfall so she got off light compared to the rest of the WWO.
46. Centurion: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.592 points.
45. Sah'ta Thor: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.534 points.
44. Tyler Cage: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.532 points.
43. Kylie Moore: 2 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 66.667% Win Percentage, -0.462 points.
42. Cara Strader: 2 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 40% Win Percentage, -0.39 points.
41. Estrella Luiz: 0 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, -0.259 points.
40. James Wilcox: 7 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.667% Win Percentage, -0.202 points.
After the rest of The Faction turned on him, no one knows when The Wizard will return.
39. Diamond Steele: 1 wins, 5 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 21.429% Win Percentage, -0.155 points.
38. Johnny Fringe: 3 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, -0.023 points.
37. Chelsea Skye: 2 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.179 points.
36. The Delivery Girl: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.275 points.
Not gonna lie, I liked her energy. Wish she’d stuck around, though my wallet is grateful because every time she was on camera I had the sudden urge to order pizza or something and it’s not like this place pays me enough to enjoy food or anything...
35. Makayla Vayden: 3 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.286 points.
Clearly the star of the Time Jumpers before she was done dirty by Ciela Ruiz.
34. Joseph War: 1 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.557 points.
33. Lord Raab: 7 wins, 7 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 0.592 points.
At a few points over the year Lord Raab was in the top 10 in ranking, reaching as high as 7th once, but even a single well-placed upset will put an end to that real quick. Raab unfortunately had a few of those, so I think this is a case of the numbers actually lying. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Mr. Rad wishes me to note that the numbers never lie despite what this meatbag said. His comment about Raab being in the top 10 a couple of times is accurate, however.)
32. Drake Wilcox: 6 wins, 7 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.154% Win Percentage, 0.652 points.
Drake had best watch out. If ISAAC got wise to the fact that Drake rarely took the falls for his team, and earned the falls more often than ISAAC, this team may also be split up before even becoming a thing with the Game Changers.
31. Supreme Machine: 2 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 66.667% Win Percentage, 0.887 points.
30. The Avenger: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.159 points.
They say that a hero will save us. I’m not going to stand here and wait, though.
29. Erika Crawford: 2 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 33.333% Win Percentage, 1.229 points.
28. Ragdoll: 2 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 50% Win Percentage, 1.306 points.
27. Sebastian Everett-Bryce III: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, 1.314 points.
Even after atrophy penalties, this is still respectable for just one appearance, back during The Last of Us.
26. Nicky Skylar: 2 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.508 points.
25. Emily Simms: 1 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 1.559 points.
Just sneaking into the top 25, the bulk of her points come from earning the pinfall in a tag match alongside Commander Shepard. Jury’s still out on how well she can do when not accompanied by the Commander, as a No Decision at Final Fantasy didn’t do her many favors.
24. Lex Collins: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 1.63 points.
Started off undefeated in LUW, going 3-0 in the first three shows, but The Last of Us shook his confidence and he never recovered after that. By Combat Evolved, he was gone.
23. Natsumi Rekara: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 1.87 points.
A very late debut to the company, her rank is based off a win against then-ranked-36th Amber Payne. More time is needed to see how she fares in extended competition.
22. Donny Mason: 2 wins, 3 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 40% Win Percentage, 1.959 points. CURRENT MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION.
Turns out, scoring the pinfall against a pair of wrestlers in the top 6 at the time will really boost your score through the roof. Mason was 59th heading into that match and look where he ended up. Time will tell whether he improves under the wing of his father.
21. Tempest: 1 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 2.199 points.
After a mediocre showing at The Last of Us, he came back at EXP 11 to upset Bert McAlroy, which is where all of his points came from.
20. EA Blizzard: 10 wins, 7 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 58.333% Win Percentage, 2.23 points.
Ranking as high as 12th at one point (two shows before he would fight for the Final Boss Championship), Blizzard has been a workhorse in LUW. He just needs that one big run to push him into the main event and not as a monster of the month style challenger.
19. Bryan Ford: 0 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 0% Win Percentage, 2.253 points.
A stellar performance in The Last of Us saw Bryan in the top 10 for a fair bit before the atrophy penalty started to wear his score down. The fact that he finished this far up despite it shows that he still has the talent to make a run wherever he goes.
18. Jack Michaels: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 3.258 points.
From starting first in The Last Of Us to nearly winning it all, Jack Michaels was a presence in the upper ranks for weeks after his eventual departure. The atrophy penalty eventually wore him down to this spot.
17. Eli Goode: 7 wins, 11 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 39.474% Win Percentage, 3.346 points.
Eli is a prime example of a timely upset doing wonders for you. At one point he lost six straight matches, but a couple of upsets over EA Blizzard and James Wilcox meant that somehow despite the losing record, Eli ends up this far on the ranking list.
16. Kat Jones: 2 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 83.333% Win Percentage, 3.54 points.
Fairly new to Level Up, the jury’s still out on Kat. She’s looked impressive so far but as with a few others, we need to see more of her before we can say whether her place on the list is properly earned.
15. LEGION: 3 wins, 1 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 3.937 points.
Start with am impressive showing at The Last of Us, and factor in a run that almost led to the Wisdom Championship, and you have a wrestler with a rank that feels truly earned even after the atrophy penalty set in.
14. Don Tirri: 12 wins, 11 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 52.174% Win Percentage, 4.265 points. CURRENT MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION
Despite his experience, Don could never get any sort of streak going. Win 3 straight, lose 2 straight, win 2 straight, lose 2 straight, win 3 straight, lose 2 straight. The back-and-forth did him no favors on momentum in the calculations, but timely wins ensure he remained a constant in the top 20 in the second half of the year.
13. Andre Poelon: 4 wins, 5 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 44.444% Win Percentage, 4.497 points.
So, what happens when, in your second match, your team upsets a red-hot Faction team, and then you manage to avoid a long losing streak afterward? You end up here, probably a little higher than expected but still with am impressive resume despite a losing record.
12. Sidroy Covington IV: 12 wins, 7 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 62.5% Win Percentage, 4.833 points. FORMER WISDOM CHAMPION
A pair of four-match winning streaks, with only a slight blip at the end of the year, combined with a lengthy title run ensures that the Ever Fortunate One ends up well-placed on the list. At one point, he was ranked fifth in the company…but then he ran into Dude Waluigi and it took him a while to recover from that. His high rank? Just a show before that, when he was fourth.
11. Jenny: 12 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 57.143% Win Percentage, 5.518 points. FORMER COURAGE CHAMPION
Don’t let the makeup fool you. The Queen Machine is not one to be trifled with. In fact, heading into Final Fantasy, Jenny was ranked third in the company before losing a heartbreaker in the Courage Championship match on Night Two. One of the most consistent performers on the roster, it’s only a question of when, rather than if, she claims gold once more.
10. Joey Crash: 3 wins, 2 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 60% Win Percentage, 6.456 points.
A couple of big-time wins at those points helped propel Joey Crash into a top 10 spot, though you may decide among yourselves whether the numbers are lying again. (EDITOR’S NOTE: They aren’t.) A win over HIS MONSTER and then an upset over third-ranked Bert McAlroy were the catalysts for the rocketing up the charts Crash experienced at the end of the year.
9. Buster Gloves: 5 wins, 0 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 100% Win Percentage, 6.817 points.
It’s probably safe to assume that this is not an anomaly. Buster has come in to Level Up on fire and no one has been able to solve his puzzle yet. After an absolute war with HIS MONSTER at Final Fantasy, it’s entirely possible that gold lies in his future.
8. Antonio Ricci: 6 wins, 3 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 63.636% Win Percentage, 7.117 points.
Here’s another name from the dawn of Level Up. At one point the top wrestler in the company—even while not the Final Boss Champion—Ricci was a clear threat in every match he was in. While we still don’t know if he ever recovered from the attack he suffered at the hands of assailants unknown at Dead By Daylight, there’s no argument that he was one of the standard-bearers in the early shows of Level Up’s life.
7. Ahmya: 12 wins, 4 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 75% Win Percentage, 7.682 points. FORMER MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION, CURRENT WISDOM CHAMPION
A pair of five-match win streaks—one leading to the Multiplayer Championship, the other to becoming the Roundest Robin—helped Ahmya roll to a very respectable spot on the final ranking table. At one point, she was as high as third before being upset for the Multiplayer Championship at Final Fantasy Night 1. Winning the Wisdom Title the following night put her in good stead as year two begins.
6. Dionysus: 7 wins, 8 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 46.667% Win Percentage, 7.757 points. CURRENT COURAGE CHAMPION
Alright, show of hands. How many people thought Dionysus would be this high in the rankings after a very poor start to his Level Up tenure in The Last of Us? Teaming with Andre Poelon was a major factor in revitalizing his career, and his showing in the Extra Lives Round Robin also helped. Once again, this shows the power of a good upset, as knocking off third-ranked Jenny for the Courage Championship means he comes into year two ready to make a bigger impact.
5. Victoria Salinas: 4 wins, 0 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 90% Win Percentage, 7.856 points.
I already hear the outcry. “How is she ahead of Buster Gloves?” That can be summed up in one answer: because she beat fifth-ranked Larry Tact at EXP 18 and carried that momentum into Final Fantasy. With a win over the new Power Champion, could we possibly see a betrayal in the making within the Game Changers?
4. Bert McAlroy: 16 wins, 9 losses, 0 Draws/No Decisions, 64% Win Percentage, 8.281 points. FORMER MULTIPLAYER CHAMPION. FORMER COURAGE CHAMPION. FORMER TRIFORCE CHAMPION. CURRENT FINAL BOSS CHAMPION.
It took Bert the better part of six months to find his rhythm in Level Up but when he did, there was very little stopping him. Reaching as high as third before an upset to Joey Crash at EXP 16, Bert proceeded to prove to all his doubters that it’s not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. A hard fought, if not controversial, victory over Magdalena Lockheart means that Bert enters year two with the top title, but still a chip on his shoulder as he’s not the top person in the company even after reaching the top of the mountain.
3. Larry Tact: 13 wins, 10 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 56% Win Percentage, 8.98 points. CURRENT POWER CHAMPION
Larry did not start getting on track until Combat Evolved, but once he managed to find a groove the hits just kept coming. While unable to put together a string of wins similar or others in the promotion, Larry found himself in contention for titles almost constantly, and a win against Bert McAlroy (then ranked 4th at the time) on EXP 15 was the final catalyst to send him into the highest reaches of the roster. With a title in his hands and a new faction in Level Up behind him, it’s safe to say that year two may be the year that Larry Tact becomes the Final Boss.
2. Duncan Shepard: 12 wins, 2 losses, 1 Draws/No Decisions, 83.333% Win Percentage, 14.212 points.
FORMER POWER CHAMPION
How did Commander Shepard end up at number two? Win streaks and being a dominant champion for the bulk of the year. A two-win streak, followed by a seven-match one (only dwarfed by one person…take a wild guess), and another three-match streak mean that even stumbling at the end of the year, Shepard enters year two looking to make that last push into the top spot, whether it be through Bert, the Game Changers, or even the woman who stayed above him in the rankings ever since he claimed the number two spot for good at EXP 15…
1. Magdalena Lockheart: 14 wins, 5 losses, 2 Draws/No Decisions, 71.429% Win Percentage, 23.07 points. THE LAST OF US WINNER. FORMER FINAL BOSS CHAMPION.
Really. If this wasn’t expected then you haven’t been watching Level Up all year. I mean, where to begin? Co-first in at The Last of Us to winning it and becoming champion. An eight-match win streak that is tops in the promotion. Four defenses of the Final Boss Championship. Aside from the earliest parts of the year and trading the top spot with Antonio Ricci, year one of Level Up has been The Rebirth of Magdalena Lockheart. If year two is anything like year one was, expect Maggie to be gunning for Bert McAlroy and the Final Boss championship sooner rather than later.
