Post by Ahmya on Apr 10, 2022 22:06:53 GMT -5
Everything has turned into a blur beyond the walls of the home. Nothing seemed to matter anymore outside of it and this cycle was no different. Well, to be fair that’s a bit of a lie. It’s far more apparent that things aren’t the way they used to be and never will be again. The fun was exploring the world together, testing physical limits together.
Being together.
Now it was just empty. Sad. Lonely.
Unwanted.
However, each time the conversation came up, the point made was always the same. Honor your commitment. It wouldn’t be right to just walk away. Then in the same breath, the counterpoint that the commitment that was made wasn’t to a paper, to a championship, to a company or anything like that.
“My commitment is to you.. it will always be you..”
The soft words spoken aloud came from the shell of a sorrowful bird, sat in the corner with her mind far away from this moment. Another one where she knew the boost would be given to have her continue the journey. Meanwhile, all she could do was wrap herself around the thought that in a few short days, she’ll have to leave home again. Leave the life she wants for the one she’s stuck with until somehow she can be freed. What once gave way to smiles, now left her in tears.
It’s not that she wasn’t appreciative of the opportunity, or the trust bestowed upon her. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She wanted to be a supportive partner, help around at home, tutor the dolls and be present for all the council meetings. She wanted..
“You can be committed to both things, Naoko..” came the comforting rasp of his voice, inches from her ear as he came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her flush to his form. He took a moment to enjoy her warmth, giving one final squeeze with his hand lingering on her belly a moment before he lets her go and moves beside her.
“Besides, could be a lot worse than Nocturne. Look who you’ve had to deal with lately, I’d take this draw every day of the week, yo. Just an honest worker trying to get by.”
He fidgeted in place a bit. It still left a bitter taste in his mouth, talking about Level Up in the past tense. He wondered whenever he was stoned enough and alone enough, if maybe just maybe this is how people who built houses feel like when they have to suddenly never go near it again, instead seeing others enjoy the fruit of their labors?
He hoped it wasn’t so bitter for them. The most she could offer was a nod and soft smile, sighing shortly afterward. It was clear by the silence that this was impacting her even more than she’s admitted. “You are right, Robert.. the match with Nocturne should be a highly competitive one with no issue. Then.. then.. it will lead to another one, and another one..” he brought his hands to her shoulders, leaning over and setting to giving her a light massage, his tone remained soothing.
“It doesn’t have to be that way.. you’re not a prisoner there, you’re more than capable of telling them you’re done if you want time off. It’s been a struggle, yo.. disappearing then I drag you back to be a wrestler with me…” he pushed, frowning for a split second before plastering the smle back on. “But now I’m not…” he chuckled, leaning into her and sighing.
“Just throw the title in the arena and get back in the car…we can go get Pizza and play laser tag or somethin’..” Naoko couldn’t help the laugh that followed his words and idea, same as the smile it brought. He always knew how to make her smile, even in the saddest of times. Still, she had a lingering thought jab at her.
“You wouldn’t be disappointed in me if I did that, Robert?”
“Never could be disappointed in you.. hell, look how charitable you are. Staying married to a guy with a broken neck…” he smiled, one hand coming to run his fingers through her dark hair, silently swearing to God that he’d always do whatever he could for her like he did just about any time they touched.
“You came in on a whim, you won the tag titles, you won the Wisdom title from the longest reigning champion not named Magdalena Lockheart.. you got nothing to be ashamed of.” Again she smiled, his touch comforting her as always, though in reality it was all of him that did that for her. His words, understanding, patience, love. Just him being him.
“I believe that if Nocturne approaches this match as she has done in the past, with respect, that I will do the same thing. After that.. I don’t know. I mean, I do know.. but it’s still something I worry about because I know you say what you say, but.. I want you to be happy and proud. I know it still hurts. It took some time before you realized it and it was hard for you to tell me. This.. this is a heavy bag of emotions Robert. I’m unsure if I can explain it properly. Do you think you can help me like you used to?”
“I’ll be right behind the camera, and I’ll draw up some cue cards…” he offered, eyelid lulling halfway shut as he thought about it all, feeling exhausted more than anything while also being lulled into a calm by her presence. “You just get dolled up, get ready for the camera and we’ll get it done..”
He leaned back then, taking one of her hands in both his own and waiting for her gaze to meet his own before speaking.
“You’re stronger than I ever was, you know? All you've been through, All you still go through.. it’s inspiring. It inspired me, it probably inspired Nocturne. You being you, you being the Roundest Robin and the only honest to god nice person in that building makes a difference….” he squeezed the hand. “Don’t doubt yourself. Never doubt yourself.”
“I never have, yo.”
Her eyes watered a bit, Naoko squeezing back and showing a small spark within her. “You’re always so good to me, Robert. I’ll do my best not to doubt myself and what is wanted deep down. I’ve never doubted you either and never will..”
“I love you..”
The words didn’t have to be returned, but they were. Same as how he didn’t have to take the time to create a beautiful spotlight for her, but he did. She always marveled at how careful and meticulous he was with his crafts. Always creating the most gorgeous scenes to showcase her best side. Even though he’d retort with how every side was her best. It was something few people realized since they were always wrapped up in the stereotype, but she loved his artistic self. She loved every part of him.
It made things that much more painful. If only there was another way..
Getting the go ahead to make her way over to the center, Naoko offered a small smile to her partner in life. This was followed by a long exhale she wish she could take back because she knew once it was done it’d be time for the show. The show that must go on, but that she was two seconds from closing the curtain on. For the next act would be the best, even the council agreed on that one unanimously.
3.. 2.. 1..
“Hello everyone. I’m.. happy you all could join me today for this round of the robin’s rent? Or does that say rant? The marker smudged a little bit and I can’t tell what letter that is. Shaking of the head as I shouldn’t hint that I am reading this right now. Oh.. I see. I’m sorry, I just.. I really don’t know if I can do this right now, or anytime soon. It’s been difficult the last few months and while I was doing my best to keep going, it.. it doesn’t seem right anymore. This isn’t anything that the company did, that any specific opponent did. It has nothing to do with EXP 22, 23, the potential matches at Doom or any of that. It’s just.. very different now. When I first joined this company alongside Robert, I was doing it for fun. It gave us the chance to grow closer and help put together some of the pieces from my blank canvas. Now while I know that will never be whole ever again, the present that was replacing my past was a beautiful thing. We got interdimensional portal gloves, ate all sorts of strange food, bought a castle. It was all nice.. until it wasn’t anymore.” Another in the long line of sighs escaped from Naoko who wasn’t anywhere near the usual Ahmya image people were accustomed to. She was hurting, clearly, and it was clear where her heart was at this moment in time.
“Now I know this may tie into some of the mean things people have said in the past, but I never denied that doing this wrestling work with Robert was what made me happy. Some tried their best to drive a wedge, appeal to the competitive nature of it and tease the thoughts that I was being used, I was in his shadow. But the reason why it never got to me, why I never had a thought to go after him at any point was because that didn’t matter. Me being better than him, him being better than me, I didn’t care about that. I was simply thankful for the opportunity to do what was loved and make people happy in the process. That’s what I wish it still was, but unfortunately Robert can’t do this anymore and while many out there are urging me to do it for him, carry the banner, at the end of the day I look at him and I know where my home is. I know where my heart is. It’s with the guy standing behind the camera, who said he’d be proud of me no matter what I do. I’m not sure if that applies to eating the last slice of pizza, but something tells me he’d stick by me even then. I mean.. he kind of already has.” There was a brief pause as she received an adorable aha I knew it glare and couldn’t help giggling. “I might have to go to court for that one, but I don’t mind. It goes back to the point I’m trying to make about the smile and the life I love. In my mind I feel I’ve gone from being the roundest robin to being the lamenting bluebird and I think once my commitments are met, I’ll have a lot of flying to do in order to see what’s next. Well.. more like going to my castle birdcage and eating a bunch of food. What do birds eat?”
She thought about this question far too long before shaking it away, resigning herself to having Robert check online later for the answer. For now she had to do the right thing, the respectful thing, in addressing her opponent for this week’s edition of EXP.
Also try and remember to order some pizza after this is all done.. and get another new phone. “Now for this upcoming EXP there are two things going on that will be impacting my career. One is the match that determines who will be facing me at the next supercard Doom, and the other is my own match against Nocturne. As far as either facing the newcomer Riley or someone who has been very kind to Robert in Mr. Buster, I admittedly don’t have a preference as I know either way I’m in for a tough match. One I am unsure if I’ll be up for, but also one that I promise to still give my best to. I wish both of them the best of luck and can’t wait to see how that unfolds. As far as Nocturne herself goes.. I’m honestly glad we’re getting the chance to share the ring with each other. You’ve always shown yourself to be a spirited competitor and someone who doesn’t let all the bad things wrestling has to offer get to you. Each and every match is one you give your heart to, which has me excited to witness that firsthand. It’s bittersweet really. I wish my mindset was the one I had before all this, but I’m not going to let that get in the way of what we have going on. It wouldn’t be right, it wouldn’t be fair. So do know that you’ll be up for another tough test come EXP 23 and from there I truly hope you get the chance to shine that you deserve. Some people may not see it because they’re so wrapped up in themselves or stuck focusing on the ones who scream the loudest, but I see that you have the right kind of heart for this and should be a part of wrestling’s future.” Naoko again found herself pausing, this time as a result of getting choked up. The exhaustion was painfully clear and while some would worry about others seeing it, exploiting it or mocking it for the sake of covering up their own sadness, she didn’t care about all that.
All she cared about was getting through this so she can be right back where she belongs.
Looking down for a moment, and then over at him, she found her smile again. Just a little bit more, you got this. “So again I forge through, head up and heart open into the craziness, ready for another show where the egos clash and the dark reign. But my battle will still be happening my way, it will still be happening Nocturne’s way because neither of us will let what’s happening out there ruin what we have and what we give to those watching in search of the light. Mine may be focused on a different place, but I will still let it shine as long as I have to. I just hope that those watching don’t misconstrue what is happening. That moving forward isn’t wrong, it’s a part of life. Some would even say it’s a whole different kind of leveling up.. I’ll see you soon.” Naoko once more offered that smile of hers, painful as it was before blowing a kiss to the camera, to those who stood by her side through all this and letting out one more sigh as everything faded to black. The dark before the focus moved to the light that remained in the home, the laughter shared and the ridiculous amount of food consumed. Life is strange, isn’t it..
Being together.
Now it was just empty. Sad. Lonely.
Unwanted.
However, each time the conversation came up, the point made was always the same. Honor your commitment. It wouldn’t be right to just walk away. Then in the same breath, the counterpoint that the commitment that was made wasn’t to a paper, to a championship, to a company or anything like that.
“My commitment is to you.. it will always be you..”
The soft words spoken aloud came from the shell of a sorrowful bird, sat in the corner with her mind far away from this moment. Another one where she knew the boost would be given to have her continue the journey. Meanwhile, all she could do was wrap herself around the thought that in a few short days, she’ll have to leave home again. Leave the life she wants for the one she’s stuck with until somehow she can be freed. What once gave way to smiles, now left her in tears.
It’s not that she wasn’t appreciative of the opportunity, or the trust bestowed upon her. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She wanted to be a supportive partner, help around at home, tutor the dolls and be present for all the council meetings. She wanted..
“You can be committed to both things, Naoko..” came the comforting rasp of his voice, inches from her ear as he came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her flush to his form. He took a moment to enjoy her warmth, giving one final squeeze with his hand lingering on her belly a moment before he lets her go and moves beside her.
“Besides, could be a lot worse than Nocturne. Look who you’ve had to deal with lately, I’d take this draw every day of the week, yo. Just an honest worker trying to get by.”
He fidgeted in place a bit. It still left a bitter taste in his mouth, talking about Level Up in the past tense. He wondered whenever he was stoned enough and alone enough, if maybe just maybe this is how people who built houses feel like when they have to suddenly never go near it again, instead seeing others enjoy the fruit of their labors?
He hoped it wasn’t so bitter for them. The most she could offer was a nod and soft smile, sighing shortly afterward. It was clear by the silence that this was impacting her even more than she’s admitted. “You are right, Robert.. the match with Nocturne should be a highly competitive one with no issue. Then.. then.. it will lead to another one, and another one..” he brought his hands to her shoulders, leaning over and setting to giving her a light massage, his tone remained soothing.
“It doesn’t have to be that way.. you’re not a prisoner there, you’re more than capable of telling them you’re done if you want time off. It’s been a struggle, yo.. disappearing then I drag you back to be a wrestler with me…” he pushed, frowning for a split second before plastering the smle back on. “But now I’m not…” he chuckled, leaning into her and sighing.
“Just throw the title in the arena and get back in the car…we can go get Pizza and play laser tag or somethin’..” Naoko couldn’t help the laugh that followed his words and idea, same as the smile it brought. He always knew how to make her smile, even in the saddest of times. Still, she had a lingering thought jab at her.
“You wouldn’t be disappointed in me if I did that, Robert?”
“Never could be disappointed in you.. hell, look how charitable you are. Staying married to a guy with a broken neck…” he smiled, one hand coming to run his fingers through her dark hair, silently swearing to God that he’d always do whatever he could for her like he did just about any time they touched.
“You came in on a whim, you won the tag titles, you won the Wisdom title from the longest reigning champion not named Magdalena Lockheart.. you got nothing to be ashamed of.” Again she smiled, his touch comforting her as always, though in reality it was all of him that did that for her. His words, understanding, patience, love. Just him being him.
“I believe that if Nocturne approaches this match as she has done in the past, with respect, that I will do the same thing. After that.. I don’t know. I mean, I do know.. but it’s still something I worry about because I know you say what you say, but.. I want you to be happy and proud. I know it still hurts. It took some time before you realized it and it was hard for you to tell me. This.. this is a heavy bag of emotions Robert. I’m unsure if I can explain it properly. Do you think you can help me like you used to?”
“I’ll be right behind the camera, and I’ll draw up some cue cards…” he offered, eyelid lulling halfway shut as he thought about it all, feeling exhausted more than anything while also being lulled into a calm by her presence. “You just get dolled up, get ready for the camera and we’ll get it done..”
He leaned back then, taking one of her hands in both his own and waiting for her gaze to meet his own before speaking.
“You’re stronger than I ever was, you know? All you've been through, All you still go through.. it’s inspiring. It inspired me, it probably inspired Nocturne. You being you, you being the Roundest Robin and the only honest to god nice person in that building makes a difference….” he squeezed the hand. “Don’t doubt yourself. Never doubt yourself.”
“I never have, yo.”
Her eyes watered a bit, Naoko squeezing back and showing a small spark within her. “You’re always so good to me, Robert. I’ll do my best not to doubt myself and what is wanted deep down. I’ve never doubted you either and never will..”
“I love you..”
The words didn’t have to be returned, but they were. Same as how he didn’t have to take the time to create a beautiful spotlight for her, but he did. She always marveled at how careful and meticulous he was with his crafts. Always creating the most gorgeous scenes to showcase her best side. Even though he’d retort with how every side was her best. It was something few people realized since they were always wrapped up in the stereotype, but she loved his artistic self. She loved every part of him.
It made things that much more painful. If only there was another way..
Getting the go ahead to make her way over to the center, Naoko offered a small smile to her partner in life. This was followed by a long exhale she wish she could take back because she knew once it was done it’d be time for the show. The show that must go on, but that she was two seconds from closing the curtain on. For the next act would be the best, even the council agreed on that one unanimously.
3.. 2.. 1..
“Hello everyone. I’m.. happy you all could join me today for this round of the robin’s rent? Or does that say rant? The marker smudged a little bit and I can’t tell what letter that is. Shaking of the head as I shouldn’t hint that I am reading this right now. Oh.. I see. I’m sorry, I just.. I really don’t know if I can do this right now, or anytime soon. It’s been difficult the last few months and while I was doing my best to keep going, it.. it doesn’t seem right anymore. This isn’t anything that the company did, that any specific opponent did. It has nothing to do with EXP 22, 23, the potential matches at Doom or any of that. It’s just.. very different now. When I first joined this company alongside Robert, I was doing it for fun. It gave us the chance to grow closer and help put together some of the pieces from my blank canvas. Now while I know that will never be whole ever again, the present that was replacing my past was a beautiful thing. We got interdimensional portal gloves, ate all sorts of strange food, bought a castle. It was all nice.. until it wasn’t anymore.” Another in the long line of sighs escaped from Naoko who wasn’t anywhere near the usual Ahmya image people were accustomed to. She was hurting, clearly, and it was clear where her heart was at this moment in time.
“Now I know this may tie into some of the mean things people have said in the past, but I never denied that doing this wrestling work with Robert was what made me happy. Some tried their best to drive a wedge, appeal to the competitive nature of it and tease the thoughts that I was being used, I was in his shadow. But the reason why it never got to me, why I never had a thought to go after him at any point was because that didn’t matter. Me being better than him, him being better than me, I didn’t care about that. I was simply thankful for the opportunity to do what was loved and make people happy in the process. That’s what I wish it still was, but unfortunately Robert can’t do this anymore and while many out there are urging me to do it for him, carry the banner, at the end of the day I look at him and I know where my home is. I know where my heart is. It’s with the guy standing behind the camera, who said he’d be proud of me no matter what I do. I’m not sure if that applies to eating the last slice of pizza, but something tells me he’d stick by me even then. I mean.. he kind of already has.” There was a brief pause as she received an adorable aha I knew it glare and couldn’t help giggling. “I might have to go to court for that one, but I don’t mind. It goes back to the point I’m trying to make about the smile and the life I love. In my mind I feel I’ve gone from being the roundest robin to being the lamenting bluebird and I think once my commitments are met, I’ll have a lot of flying to do in order to see what’s next. Well.. more like going to my castle birdcage and eating a bunch of food. What do birds eat?”
She thought about this question far too long before shaking it away, resigning herself to having Robert check online later for the answer. For now she had to do the right thing, the respectful thing, in addressing her opponent for this week’s edition of EXP.
Also try and remember to order some pizza after this is all done.. and get another new phone. “Now for this upcoming EXP there are two things going on that will be impacting my career. One is the match that determines who will be facing me at the next supercard Doom, and the other is my own match against Nocturne. As far as either facing the newcomer Riley or someone who has been very kind to Robert in Mr. Buster, I admittedly don’t have a preference as I know either way I’m in for a tough match. One I am unsure if I’ll be up for, but also one that I promise to still give my best to. I wish both of them the best of luck and can’t wait to see how that unfolds. As far as Nocturne herself goes.. I’m honestly glad we’re getting the chance to share the ring with each other. You’ve always shown yourself to be a spirited competitor and someone who doesn’t let all the bad things wrestling has to offer get to you. Each and every match is one you give your heart to, which has me excited to witness that firsthand. It’s bittersweet really. I wish my mindset was the one I had before all this, but I’m not going to let that get in the way of what we have going on. It wouldn’t be right, it wouldn’t be fair. So do know that you’ll be up for another tough test come EXP 23 and from there I truly hope you get the chance to shine that you deserve. Some people may not see it because they’re so wrapped up in themselves or stuck focusing on the ones who scream the loudest, but I see that you have the right kind of heart for this and should be a part of wrestling’s future.” Naoko again found herself pausing, this time as a result of getting choked up. The exhaustion was painfully clear and while some would worry about others seeing it, exploiting it or mocking it for the sake of covering up their own sadness, she didn’t care about all that.
All she cared about was getting through this so she can be right back where she belongs.
Looking down for a moment, and then over at him, she found her smile again. Just a little bit more, you got this. “So again I forge through, head up and heart open into the craziness, ready for another show where the egos clash and the dark reign. But my battle will still be happening my way, it will still be happening Nocturne’s way because neither of us will let what’s happening out there ruin what we have and what we give to those watching in search of the light. Mine may be focused on a different place, but I will still let it shine as long as I have to. I just hope that those watching don’t misconstrue what is happening. That moving forward isn’t wrong, it’s a part of life. Some would even say it’s a whole different kind of leveling up.. I’ll see you soon.” Naoko once more offered that smile of hers, painful as it was before blowing a kiss to the camera, to those who stood by her side through all this and letting out one more sigh as everything faded to black. The dark before the focus moved to the light that remained in the home, the laughter shared and the ridiculous amount of food consumed. Life is strange, isn’t it..