Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2022 22:23:15 GMT -5
March 27, 2022
“You’re going to make this work…” I heard the reassuring words of my trainer, Darren Holliday, say to me. I was feeling quite nervous flying out of Montana and making my way to the last EXP. Despite his reassurance, I was still feeling down upon myself and feeling guilty for the entire Game Changers episode that I had.
“Yeah… I hope so…” I said with a sigh.
“”We all make mistakes and that’s the first thing you’ve got to remember. Forgiveness is not something that comes easy but in order to move forward, you’ve got to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.”
“Of course. But… when I was with the Game Changers, I burned so many bridges and not just in Level Up. Some friendships I had in prior companies were pretty darn bruised…”
“Those that are really your friends are going to come around. You’ve just got to give them time…” he said as he wrapped an arm around me the way any father, or father figure, would. “I wouldn’t worry about any of that. I wouldn’t think about what you’ve done. You’ve done that already. You should forgive yourself as soon as you can and just wrestle damn it! You can’t burden yourself with the past anymore. That’s the pattern that has been holding you back from your fullest potential. Just remember that over in IBW, you’ve got a hell of an opportunity to really shine and rise to that potential too…”
“Thanks… ‘Dad’...” I said with a sarcastic laugh. “Once again, I am sorry that I strayed off the path that you laid out for me when I…”
“Victoria, no more apologies. You know you’re strong enough to get through this and overcome anything that any company throws at you. What’s done is done. You’ve got to focus on the now and on the future now.”
“Right…I’m going to work on that.” I said as we exchanged a hug right as they announced that my flight was boarding. “I’ve got this!”
“You’re the best student I ever had, I know you’ve got this…” Mr. Holliday said with a confident smile as I made my departure for the previous EXP…
It was great to just get in there and ‘just wrestle’ as Mr. Holliday had told me to do when I won against that idiot Waluigi. It was certainly a freeing moment for me when for once, I finally wrestled a match without any sort of hatred, bitterness or any other feeling in my heart. While I knew it was just a Waluigi and it wasn’t going to be that big of a deal for most people in the company, for me it was exactly the fresh start that I had needed to get going again.
“I hope that everyone that I hurt comes around sooner than later…” I would think to myself. Of course, coming back from all of that damage is certainly going to be an uphill battle and little did I know that following my Level Up win when I had to take care of business in IBW, I was about to realize how much of an uphill battle things were going to be…
April 9th, 2022
“FUCK” I said to myself, clearly disappointed. “For ONCE I am trying to win a world title for a purpose greater than myself, to give this damn company something and someone to believe in and to make IBW better, and I couldn’t even win my match fast enough to pick a stipulation. God damn it! Now the world champion gets to do just that and…”
I paused and sighed as I stopped in the hallway backstage following IBW’s Collision event.
“I’ve got to face the big bads here all alone…” I said to myself, questioning if I had what it took to single handedly save IBW from the villains that had ruled it for the better part of a year and a half. “...why is it always this way for me? Why is it that when I try to do something GOOD for a change, I’m always going up against some super dominant stable and I’m always all alone? UGH! This is exactly the reason why I gave up on myself and ‘went bad’ in the first place…”
I let out a troubled sigh, not knowing what to do. More than anything, dealing with the obstacles that I’m dealing with in IBW all by myself was the most daunting thing going on. Being at a complete stipulation disadvantage is certainly bothering me as I walked near the administrative offices. I was mainly focused on getting back to my locker room to grab my stuff and go. However, I am stopped by the office door opening. A woman a few years younger than me, who I am of course familiar with, walks out and I am frozen in surprise based upon the familiar face that I’m looking at.
“Casey?” I said to the daughter of my trainer. I was already feeling the guilt of the fact that when I ‘went bad’, she was one of the people I was quick to hurt and put down on social media.
“What?” she asked with a scoff showing her understandable displeasure with me.
“What are you doing backstage at an IBW show?
“It’s none of your business.”
“Are you signing with them?” I asked her, feeling a bit of hope that she would and that she might even forgive me for some of the harsh things I said to her a few months ago regarding how her career had gone to hell when I should’ve supported her through her own dark times.
“Shouldn’t you be logging on Twitter right now complaining about something that doesn’t go your way?” she asked me, my heart sinking as a result. “You have always been good at that. Hey, maybe you should post a blog whining and bitching about how IBW is mistreating you like you love to do so much. Victoria, I’ve known you long enough and I’m about sick of your shit. If my father never even bothered training you, where would you be with your life?”
“Casey, I understand that you’re mad at me…”
“Oh YEAH? That’s an understatement. A few months ago, you were on this BIG ego trip trying to burn down the world because you got tired of being ‘disrespected’ and over in Level Up, you embarrassed me by making such a big deal over a tag team title opportunity you should’ve been grateful for.. You came back here to IBW and you were like ‘hi, I’m still US Champion fuck you all’ and you burned your bridges with the people that wanted to do nothing but help you… including me! I’ve looked up to you as a big sister for years. You were my mentor when I first started and you’ve been there for me god knows how many times, but did you stop and think for a second how I felt when you buried and dismissed me a few months ago? Funny how you don’t tell the world how you treat your own proteges?”
My guilt within me really grew upon realizing that during her ‘dark time’ a few months ago, I really treated my own stepsister like garbage.
“You even said I wouldn’t be in this business by my next birthday… how can I forget that? Funny. You get a world title shot here in IBW and now you want to be NICE again and you want to SAVE IBW and you’re talking about CHANGE this and CHANGE that and you’re wanting to act like everything is wonderful and everything is roses again.”
“Casey, I’m so s…”
“You say ‘sorry’ to me and Rutherford’s Guys, the Game Changers or any of the enemies you’ve made over the last few months will be the least of your problems. Oh wait, you saw me and you thought ‘hey, I’ve got backup against those guys’, right? You figured that if I sign with IBW, I’d be your sidekick or something to help deal with the ‘great evils’ to make your little redemption story sound better? FUCK OFF!”
“I was wrong, alright? I was going through a bad time and I took it out on you. You said it just now, we’ve always been surrogate sisters and all. Sisters fight all the time, right? Look, if you sign with IBW, I am not looking for you to stand by my side against Rutherford’s Guys. That’s your choice. You don’t have to get involved in that. But, contrary to how I was treating you before and how I was taking out my insecurities on you, I DO care about you. You know that! I know I messed up but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me…”
“…really?”
Casey becomes annoyed at this point.
“You publicly trashed me on social media, broke my freaking heart while you were on your ego trip and you expect me to forgive you? Girl, you’re SO out of whack you have NO idea. Quite frankly? I’ll tell you straight up. I don’t forgive you. I’m not joining your little quest. I’m not going to be your sidekick. IF I become part of IBW, Level Up or any other company you’re in, I’m going to be doing this for ME, alright? I’ve spent my whole career in your shadow and doing things YOUR way and going by what YOU taught me when I was finding my way, but that’s only gotten me so far. So no, I don’t forgive you. You sold out… and no matter how BAD you want to play nice when it’s so convenient for you… you’re not erasing that… nor are you going to erase the hurt you caused me. You are fucking FORTUNATE… and I don’t even understand HOW or WHY my father forgave you… oh right, you were ALWAYS his favorite… even more than his own DAUGHTER! He’s MY father, not YOURS, alright? So do me a favor and quit taking him from me!”
I am obviously somewhat crushed by this development knowing that Casey doesn’t forgive me. All in all, this really felt like a massive setback this early in my journey to find myself again and to do things the way I was brought up to do them…
“Good luck with your stupid ‘redemption’ and everything but yeah, you’re going to have to go on that journey without me. Maybe the fact that you’re at a disadvantage with a stipulation NOT of your own choosing is karma for all the shit you’ve done. You’re on your own with this uphill battle. Now move out of my way, I’ve got better things to do than look at your face right now. All I am going to say is, I’ve got BIG plans… plans that don’t INVOLVE YOU!”
Casey brushes by me and the moment she disappeared, I was already feeling the hurt that was poured upon me by someone that I truly cared about. Tears formed in my eyes at this point knowing, somewhere deep down, that after the way I torched the bridge with Casey and kicked her while she was down, that to some degree? I deserved that from her.
“This is going to be harder than I thought…” I said as a tear strolled down my face…
April 10th, 2022
I was still reeling a bit from yesterday from that conversation with Casey as I had the camera on me. But, with the camera turned on in my hotel room, I didn’t have time to feel sad. I couldn’t think about Casey and how I pretty much got what I deserved from her. All I could do was focus on the task ahead and that was Diamond Steele. Switching gears the best that I could, I began to express my thoughts.
“I guess we’re in the same boat, aren’t we Diamond? We’re here in level Up having to start over and pick things up again. Fine. That’s a fate that I accept. If I have to earn my way back into the spotlight, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I took that first step a couple of weeks ago and this week, that’s exactly what I am going to do with you. You see Diamond, I know that you’ve been hanging around here for a while. You were even in my debut match that neither one of us got pinned in. At least I can say that I’ve been in that spotlight here and at least I can say that I’ve beaten the current world champion on two occasions. You on the other hand? Well, there isn’t much you can say can you? You’ve done nothing but spin your tires here in Level Up Wrestling which is quite sad because you ARE better than this and you and I both know that. Yet, you just don’t show it. I am not a psychologist and I am not going to spend 20 minutes diving into your psyche here, but have you given up? Have you decided that maybe this company isn’t one you should be applying your craft in? I mean, one long look at your career and I see the definition of broken promise. It’s not just the fact that you had a promising early beginning here and completely wasted that, it’s also the fact that you constantly keep saying that things are going to get better and that you’re going to give it your best and all of those things yet, all you do is stay stuck in the same place that you’re really in.
You want to know why you’re struggling so much here?
Because you’re too focused on everywhere else. Sure, you may be a champion in two other companies and all of that, but that success hasn’t translated here because to be honest, I don’t think you care enough. I’m not saying that to be mean or obnoxious. I’m saying that because in all of my years in this business, and especially considering my recent experiences with the Game Changers, I KNOW when a wrestler has apparently given up and you appear to be a sad case of that. In your last promo, you already admitted that you are feeling pretty inadequate and considering the losses you’ve piled up, I can see WHY. I can sadly relate because after my first match here, inadequate is exactly what I was feeling and that’s why I went down the drain for a few months. I own that. I know that I deserve to be better than that. You want to know how to step up and be the woman that you know that you are destined to be? Well for starters, you quit feeling sorry for yourself. Again, I can take this from my own experiences because I had been feeling sorry for myself for years, long before I ever came to Level Up Wrestling at all. You know the path that this led me to. I’m not going to beat this to death.
Secondly? Show that you care!
Even when I was having my massive ego trip and being part of the Game Changers, at least I showed that I care. You on the other hand? You just coast. You don’t put any real effort into this company and it’s a sad shame. This company deserves so much better than you are giving it… granted, I admit the same holds true for me too… but instead of saying TODAY is the day that I do something about my situation, what you wind up saying is “one day I will step up” “One day”? Girl, I hate to say this and I am not saying this to be mean to you and to tear you down or anything of the sort, but “one day” is a loser mentality. You can’t sit around and say “one day”, “some day”, “somehow”, or any of that nonsense. The mentality of a born winner and the mentality of a champion is to say “TODAY IS THAT DAY!” I’m not going to boast about my accomplishments or anything, but that’s exactly the attitude that has brought me all the success that I’ve had in this business and will continue to have in this business. I went into that match against that damn Waluigi and I said ‘today is the day that I start turning things around and showing this company what I am all about’.
“One day I will find my place…” no… you find your place TODAY.
“One day I will be something special…” no, you become something special TODAY… if you aren’t already.
I get it, Diamond. It’s a hell of an uphill battle to climb all the way back up from the gutter and be better than before. Hell, it’s hard to do what I did and come up from the gutter at all to be a hell of a success story in professional wrestling. But when I first came up, I never sat down and said ‘one day, I will make something of myself’. What I said was, ‘today is the day I start my journey to being something in this world. We’re fighting the same battle here, Diamond but the reason why this week at EXP it’s going to be me rising to the occasion is because unlike you, I don’t have the attitude of someone that has given up. I’m not someone carrying the attitude of someone that is lackadaisical and just waits for the opportunity to come to them. I don’t see the struggle ahead and I don’t think that it’s too much for me and that there’s no way I can overcome it. How many more times are you going to say “i’m going to get there”, “I will find my way” and so on and so forth without actually doing anything about it? You can’t just set a goal and do nothing to attain it or even PLAN on how you’re going to attain it. You talk about ‘I’m going to make this work’, but you don’t say HOW you’re going to do it.
What you have there, Diamond, isn’t a goal. What you have is a wish. As I was once told when I came up in this business, a wish is a goal without a plan. Right now, you don’t have a plan for how you’re going to turn things around, do you? You don’t, but I DO and that plan is continuing to show this company exactly who I am at heart and exactly what I am all about and to rise up the ladder the right way and do the right thing by the business. Unlike you, I’ve already started that journey and taken my first steps while you just stay stuck in the mud expecting a handout or some form of sympathy. I EMPATHIZE with you considering I’m in the same situation you’re in, but I’m not feeling sorry… not for you, not for myself.
I’ll EARN my keep around here… and this uphill battle that I AM going to win in the end is going through you this coming week whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve still got that fighting spirit to show what I am about and to prove that I can do this being the pure of heart wrestler I’ve always been and had no business straying away from. I’ll regain the trust of the fans that I burned my bridge with. I’ll rebuild that goodwill with the friends and the family that I hurt along the way. I know that I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve been able to overcome bigger hills than the one I am facing right now Diamond and in this company, that’s exactly what separates a wrestler like me from a wrestler like you. Whether you take the lessons learned from me to heart and finally make something of yourself from here is entirely up to you. However, this week? My journey continues with another victory and I WILL continue to rebuild myself back to the wrestler I know I am and the wrestler I KNOW I can be!”
I was certainly feeling better after facing the obstacle that I did the previous day after I let loose on Diamond. I shut off the camera and focused on what I had to do in order to continue my journey to win the coming battles I was going to have to win to find my place and my happiness in this business at last…
“You’re going to make this work…” I heard the reassuring words of my trainer, Darren Holliday, say to me. I was feeling quite nervous flying out of Montana and making my way to the last EXP. Despite his reassurance, I was still feeling down upon myself and feeling guilty for the entire Game Changers episode that I had.
“Yeah… I hope so…” I said with a sigh.
“”We all make mistakes and that’s the first thing you’ve got to remember. Forgiveness is not something that comes easy but in order to move forward, you’ve got to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.”
“Of course. But… when I was with the Game Changers, I burned so many bridges and not just in Level Up. Some friendships I had in prior companies were pretty darn bruised…”
“Those that are really your friends are going to come around. You’ve just got to give them time…” he said as he wrapped an arm around me the way any father, or father figure, would. “I wouldn’t worry about any of that. I wouldn’t think about what you’ve done. You’ve done that already. You should forgive yourself as soon as you can and just wrestle damn it! You can’t burden yourself with the past anymore. That’s the pattern that has been holding you back from your fullest potential. Just remember that over in IBW, you’ve got a hell of an opportunity to really shine and rise to that potential too…”
“Thanks… ‘Dad’...” I said with a sarcastic laugh. “Once again, I am sorry that I strayed off the path that you laid out for me when I…”
“Victoria, no more apologies. You know you’re strong enough to get through this and overcome anything that any company throws at you. What’s done is done. You’ve got to focus on the now and on the future now.”
“Right…I’m going to work on that.” I said as we exchanged a hug right as they announced that my flight was boarding. “I’ve got this!”
“You’re the best student I ever had, I know you’ve got this…” Mr. Holliday said with a confident smile as I made my departure for the previous EXP…
It was great to just get in there and ‘just wrestle’ as Mr. Holliday had told me to do when I won against that idiot Waluigi. It was certainly a freeing moment for me when for once, I finally wrestled a match without any sort of hatred, bitterness or any other feeling in my heart. While I knew it was just a Waluigi and it wasn’t going to be that big of a deal for most people in the company, for me it was exactly the fresh start that I had needed to get going again.
“I hope that everyone that I hurt comes around sooner than later…” I would think to myself. Of course, coming back from all of that damage is certainly going to be an uphill battle and little did I know that following my Level Up win when I had to take care of business in IBW, I was about to realize how much of an uphill battle things were going to be…
April 9th, 2022
“FUCK” I said to myself, clearly disappointed. “For ONCE I am trying to win a world title for a purpose greater than myself, to give this damn company something and someone to believe in and to make IBW better, and I couldn’t even win my match fast enough to pick a stipulation. God damn it! Now the world champion gets to do just that and…”
I paused and sighed as I stopped in the hallway backstage following IBW’s Collision event.
“I’ve got to face the big bads here all alone…” I said to myself, questioning if I had what it took to single handedly save IBW from the villains that had ruled it for the better part of a year and a half. “...why is it always this way for me? Why is it that when I try to do something GOOD for a change, I’m always going up against some super dominant stable and I’m always all alone? UGH! This is exactly the reason why I gave up on myself and ‘went bad’ in the first place…”
I let out a troubled sigh, not knowing what to do. More than anything, dealing with the obstacles that I’m dealing with in IBW all by myself was the most daunting thing going on. Being at a complete stipulation disadvantage is certainly bothering me as I walked near the administrative offices. I was mainly focused on getting back to my locker room to grab my stuff and go. However, I am stopped by the office door opening. A woman a few years younger than me, who I am of course familiar with, walks out and I am frozen in surprise based upon the familiar face that I’m looking at.
“Casey?” I said to the daughter of my trainer. I was already feeling the guilt of the fact that when I ‘went bad’, she was one of the people I was quick to hurt and put down on social media.
“What?” she asked with a scoff showing her understandable displeasure with me.
“What are you doing backstage at an IBW show?
“It’s none of your business.”
“Are you signing with them?” I asked her, feeling a bit of hope that she would and that she might even forgive me for some of the harsh things I said to her a few months ago regarding how her career had gone to hell when I should’ve supported her through her own dark times.
“Shouldn’t you be logging on Twitter right now complaining about something that doesn’t go your way?” she asked me, my heart sinking as a result. “You have always been good at that. Hey, maybe you should post a blog whining and bitching about how IBW is mistreating you like you love to do so much. Victoria, I’ve known you long enough and I’m about sick of your shit. If my father never even bothered training you, where would you be with your life?”
“Casey, I understand that you’re mad at me…”
“Oh YEAH? That’s an understatement. A few months ago, you were on this BIG ego trip trying to burn down the world because you got tired of being ‘disrespected’ and over in Level Up, you embarrassed me by making such a big deal over a tag team title opportunity you should’ve been grateful for.. You came back here to IBW and you were like ‘hi, I’m still US Champion fuck you all’ and you burned your bridges with the people that wanted to do nothing but help you… including me! I’ve looked up to you as a big sister for years. You were my mentor when I first started and you’ve been there for me god knows how many times, but did you stop and think for a second how I felt when you buried and dismissed me a few months ago? Funny how you don’t tell the world how you treat your own proteges?”
My guilt within me really grew upon realizing that during her ‘dark time’ a few months ago, I really treated my own stepsister like garbage.
“You even said I wouldn’t be in this business by my next birthday… how can I forget that? Funny. You get a world title shot here in IBW and now you want to be NICE again and you want to SAVE IBW and you’re talking about CHANGE this and CHANGE that and you’re wanting to act like everything is wonderful and everything is roses again.”
“Casey, I’m so s…”
“You say ‘sorry’ to me and Rutherford’s Guys, the Game Changers or any of the enemies you’ve made over the last few months will be the least of your problems. Oh wait, you saw me and you thought ‘hey, I’ve got backup against those guys’, right? You figured that if I sign with IBW, I’d be your sidekick or something to help deal with the ‘great evils’ to make your little redemption story sound better? FUCK OFF!”
“I was wrong, alright? I was going through a bad time and I took it out on you. You said it just now, we’ve always been surrogate sisters and all. Sisters fight all the time, right? Look, if you sign with IBW, I am not looking for you to stand by my side against Rutherford’s Guys. That’s your choice. You don’t have to get involved in that. But, contrary to how I was treating you before and how I was taking out my insecurities on you, I DO care about you. You know that! I know I messed up but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me…”
“…really?”
Casey becomes annoyed at this point.
“You publicly trashed me on social media, broke my freaking heart while you were on your ego trip and you expect me to forgive you? Girl, you’re SO out of whack you have NO idea. Quite frankly? I’ll tell you straight up. I don’t forgive you. I’m not joining your little quest. I’m not going to be your sidekick. IF I become part of IBW, Level Up or any other company you’re in, I’m going to be doing this for ME, alright? I’ve spent my whole career in your shadow and doing things YOUR way and going by what YOU taught me when I was finding my way, but that’s only gotten me so far. So no, I don’t forgive you. You sold out… and no matter how BAD you want to play nice when it’s so convenient for you… you’re not erasing that… nor are you going to erase the hurt you caused me. You are fucking FORTUNATE… and I don’t even understand HOW or WHY my father forgave you… oh right, you were ALWAYS his favorite… even more than his own DAUGHTER! He’s MY father, not YOURS, alright? So do me a favor and quit taking him from me!”
I am obviously somewhat crushed by this development knowing that Casey doesn’t forgive me. All in all, this really felt like a massive setback this early in my journey to find myself again and to do things the way I was brought up to do them…
“Good luck with your stupid ‘redemption’ and everything but yeah, you’re going to have to go on that journey without me. Maybe the fact that you’re at a disadvantage with a stipulation NOT of your own choosing is karma for all the shit you’ve done. You’re on your own with this uphill battle. Now move out of my way, I’ve got better things to do than look at your face right now. All I am going to say is, I’ve got BIG plans… plans that don’t INVOLVE YOU!”
Casey brushes by me and the moment she disappeared, I was already feeling the hurt that was poured upon me by someone that I truly cared about. Tears formed in my eyes at this point knowing, somewhere deep down, that after the way I torched the bridge with Casey and kicked her while she was down, that to some degree? I deserved that from her.
“This is going to be harder than I thought…” I said as a tear strolled down my face…
April 10th, 2022
I was still reeling a bit from yesterday from that conversation with Casey as I had the camera on me. But, with the camera turned on in my hotel room, I didn’t have time to feel sad. I couldn’t think about Casey and how I pretty much got what I deserved from her. All I could do was focus on the task ahead and that was Diamond Steele. Switching gears the best that I could, I began to express my thoughts.
“I guess we’re in the same boat, aren’t we Diamond? We’re here in level Up having to start over and pick things up again. Fine. That’s a fate that I accept. If I have to earn my way back into the spotlight, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I took that first step a couple of weeks ago and this week, that’s exactly what I am going to do with you. You see Diamond, I know that you’ve been hanging around here for a while. You were even in my debut match that neither one of us got pinned in. At least I can say that I’ve been in that spotlight here and at least I can say that I’ve beaten the current world champion on two occasions. You on the other hand? Well, there isn’t much you can say can you? You’ve done nothing but spin your tires here in Level Up Wrestling which is quite sad because you ARE better than this and you and I both know that. Yet, you just don’t show it. I am not a psychologist and I am not going to spend 20 minutes diving into your psyche here, but have you given up? Have you decided that maybe this company isn’t one you should be applying your craft in? I mean, one long look at your career and I see the definition of broken promise. It’s not just the fact that you had a promising early beginning here and completely wasted that, it’s also the fact that you constantly keep saying that things are going to get better and that you’re going to give it your best and all of those things yet, all you do is stay stuck in the same place that you’re really in.
You want to know why you’re struggling so much here?
Because you’re too focused on everywhere else. Sure, you may be a champion in two other companies and all of that, but that success hasn’t translated here because to be honest, I don’t think you care enough. I’m not saying that to be mean or obnoxious. I’m saying that because in all of my years in this business, and especially considering my recent experiences with the Game Changers, I KNOW when a wrestler has apparently given up and you appear to be a sad case of that. In your last promo, you already admitted that you are feeling pretty inadequate and considering the losses you’ve piled up, I can see WHY. I can sadly relate because after my first match here, inadequate is exactly what I was feeling and that’s why I went down the drain for a few months. I own that. I know that I deserve to be better than that. You want to know how to step up and be the woman that you know that you are destined to be? Well for starters, you quit feeling sorry for yourself. Again, I can take this from my own experiences because I had been feeling sorry for myself for years, long before I ever came to Level Up Wrestling at all. You know the path that this led me to. I’m not going to beat this to death.
Secondly? Show that you care!
Even when I was having my massive ego trip and being part of the Game Changers, at least I showed that I care. You on the other hand? You just coast. You don’t put any real effort into this company and it’s a sad shame. This company deserves so much better than you are giving it… granted, I admit the same holds true for me too… but instead of saying TODAY is the day that I do something about my situation, what you wind up saying is “one day I will step up” “One day”? Girl, I hate to say this and I am not saying this to be mean to you and to tear you down or anything of the sort, but “one day” is a loser mentality. You can’t sit around and say “one day”, “some day”, “somehow”, or any of that nonsense. The mentality of a born winner and the mentality of a champion is to say “TODAY IS THAT DAY!” I’m not going to boast about my accomplishments or anything, but that’s exactly the attitude that has brought me all the success that I’ve had in this business and will continue to have in this business. I went into that match against that damn Waluigi and I said ‘today is the day that I start turning things around and showing this company what I am all about’.
“One day I will find my place…” no… you find your place TODAY.
“One day I will be something special…” no, you become something special TODAY… if you aren’t already.
I get it, Diamond. It’s a hell of an uphill battle to climb all the way back up from the gutter and be better than before. Hell, it’s hard to do what I did and come up from the gutter at all to be a hell of a success story in professional wrestling. But when I first came up, I never sat down and said ‘one day, I will make something of myself’. What I said was, ‘today is the day I start my journey to being something in this world. We’re fighting the same battle here, Diamond but the reason why this week at EXP it’s going to be me rising to the occasion is because unlike you, I don’t have the attitude of someone that has given up. I’m not someone carrying the attitude of someone that is lackadaisical and just waits for the opportunity to come to them. I don’t see the struggle ahead and I don’t think that it’s too much for me and that there’s no way I can overcome it. How many more times are you going to say “i’m going to get there”, “I will find my way” and so on and so forth without actually doing anything about it? You can’t just set a goal and do nothing to attain it or even PLAN on how you’re going to attain it. You talk about ‘I’m going to make this work’, but you don’t say HOW you’re going to do it.
What you have there, Diamond, isn’t a goal. What you have is a wish. As I was once told when I came up in this business, a wish is a goal without a plan. Right now, you don’t have a plan for how you’re going to turn things around, do you? You don’t, but I DO and that plan is continuing to show this company exactly who I am at heart and exactly what I am all about and to rise up the ladder the right way and do the right thing by the business. Unlike you, I’ve already started that journey and taken my first steps while you just stay stuck in the mud expecting a handout or some form of sympathy. I EMPATHIZE with you considering I’m in the same situation you’re in, but I’m not feeling sorry… not for you, not for myself.
I’ll EARN my keep around here… and this uphill battle that I AM going to win in the end is going through you this coming week whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve still got that fighting spirit to show what I am about and to prove that I can do this being the pure of heart wrestler I’ve always been and had no business straying away from. I’ll regain the trust of the fans that I burned my bridge with. I’ll rebuild that goodwill with the friends and the family that I hurt along the way. I know that I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve been able to overcome bigger hills than the one I am facing right now Diamond and in this company, that’s exactly what separates a wrestler like me from a wrestler like you. Whether you take the lessons learned from me to heart and finally make something of yourself from here is entirely up to you. However, this week? My journey continues with another victory and I WILL continue to rebuild myself back to the wrestler I know I am and the wrestler I KNOW I can be!”
I was certainly feeling better after facing the obstacle that I did the previous day after I let loose on Diamond. I shut off the camera and focused on what I had to do in order to continue my journey to win the coming battles I was going to have to win to find my place and my happiness in this business at last…
