Post by Brody Adams on Apr 22, 2022 8:28:08 GMT -5
Part One – Quick Quote
‘The wicked flee when none pursueth.’ – Proverbs 28:1
Part Two – Power Bump
It hurt to breathe. Exhaling and inhaling took effort as he sat on the trainer’s table after his match. Brody had lost during The Last of Us Gauntlet to his current tag team partner, but this loss was different. This wasn’t some gauntlet match where he entered at random and was caught off guard then defeated. This match was supposed to be a slingshot forward regarding the wave of momentum that himself and Eli started when they won the Multiplayer Championships in their first-time teaming together. And he had been decisively pinned in the center of the ring. It had taken two finishers by two of the current champions in Level Up Wrestling as well as a shot to the nether regions. Regardless of that, he had suffered defeat in a match where there was immense pressure to win.
Brody gets up from the trainer’s table holding his freshly taped ribs.
“Thanks, doc,” he says as he gingerly makes his way towards the door. As he puts his hand on the door, he is stopped by someone shouting his name. He turns to see Eli Goode headed in the same direction, also rocking some taped ribs.
“What a pair we make, right?” Eli says as he catches up to his tag partner and gestures at the matching set of injured ribs. “How you fee—” he stops himself as he realizes the irony of his question.
“Like hammered shit, bro.” Brody replies with a smirk. “Nothing broken though. Just bruised and sprained according to the medical professionals.”
Eli nods. “Same here.” The two continue through the door of the trainer’s room and walk down the corridor towards the locker rooms.
“I know it was non-title but it’s still bugging me that we lost to those two. Maybe I was overconfident? Maybe-“
Eli cuts him off. “Maybe they cheated? You got hit below the belt and I was put through a table. They got the better of us this time. And MAYBE we were due for a loss. We’re a brand-new team, Brody. We’re still working out the kinks. And it was non-title, like you said. We still have the Multiplayer Gauntlets. We just need to regroup. That’s all.”
Brody nods in agreement as they reach the locker room and head inside. Brody sits down on one of the benches, holding his ribs.
“You’re 100 percent right, dude. We’re just on our back foot. And what really matters is the next step. Like Alfred says in Batman Begins. Why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves up.”
“I prefer the Rocky version myself,” Eli says, taking a seat across from his tag partner, “It is not about how hard you get hit, it is about how much you can take and still keep moving forward.”
The two men bump knuckles.
“I heard you talking on the phone,” Eli says as he begins to take off his kickpads, “and sounds like you’re going back to Alaska before EXP 24?”
“Yeah. I feel like staying away for the last few weeks hasn’t helped my brain by any means. Air travel sucks but home is home.”
“I totally understand that. It’s easier for me not living in the frozen north.”
“Bro. You know it’s not frozen year-round, right? You should come visit. Especially since it’s almost summer. The scenery up there can’t be beat.”
“I also heard you say that the high for the day was 49 degrees. While the current high back in Tennessee is about 25 degrees warmer.”
Brody smirks. “So I’ll take that as raincheck?”
Eli nods as the scene fades to black.
Part Three - Another Quick Quote
“Noise will always sound the death of silence.” – Anthony T. Hincks
Part Four– Homeward Bound
By now it’s kind of common knowledge that Brody can be a talkative fellow. Just ask Eli. BUT... Brody is not a fan of flying. And he was currently flying more than ever. It seemed like the more he flew the more anxious it made him. And on most flights, he will hopefully get a window seat and fall asleep, so it goes by faster. This time he’s been seated next to your stereotypical bubbly blonde on his flight home, and she seemed fully prepared to tell him her life story. She was in the midst of a one-sided conversation when we joined our bearded hero.
“..and daddy said he’s going to cut me off if I don’t improve my grades next semester. And that’s just not fair. I’m really trying, and he just doesn’t get it. It’s important to have fun and get life experience while in college.”
Brody was pretty sure ‘life experience’ meant a new guy each night. But he wasn’t one to slut shame. He was just grumpy. And he kept this thought to himself. Get it, girl…?
“I’m trying to get my associates in feminine literature studies. Daddy tried to talk me out of it, but he just doesn’t understand. Because he’s a boomer and they don’t understand modern struggles, ya know? I’m going to change the world and I know it. Daddy said if I flunk out then he’s going to make me join the Army. Oh hey, I noticed at the gate that when they let active duty and veterans board that you went with them. Are you a veteran?”
Brody nodded slightly, regretting to not pack wireless headphones since most new phones don’t come with a headphone jack.
“Did you ever kill anybody? Do you have any cool stories from your time in? It was probably FOREVER ago since you have gray hairs in your beard so that MUST mean you’re old.”
She pauses just long enough to chuckle at herself but before she can continue, Brody speaks up. Fortunately, he had a secret weapon tucked away for moments like this.
“I have a story if you want to hear it.” he says as he straightens up in his seat a bit. Her eyes light up and she rests her chin in her hands as she listens to him talk. “Alright. Back in 2010 my unit traveled to Louisiana to do some training before we deployed to Iraq for the 2nd time. Fort Polk is a terrible place to be stationed. Thankfully we were there only 30 days. Things went well. Saved some kittens from heatstroke. Killed the imaginary bad guys. Pretty much saved the world. On our flight back is when things got really interesting. We were in the middle of the flight and the flight attendants were serving some food and drinks when all of sudden the cabin went black, and the plane started to fall out of the sky. The food carts went flying, flight attendants ran for their seats, iPods were launched into the air, and it was just chaos. There were differing reports on how long the plane was falling or how far it fell. But eventually the lights came back on, and the rest of the flight continued like normal. It was neat.”
As he finished talking, he looked over at the girl who now was sporting huge eyes and a dropped jaw. She was finally quiet and possibly a bit terrified considering she just heard a story of a plane almost crashing while flying in a plane. After no sound came out for about 10 seconds, Brody turned back towards the window and laid his head down on his makeshift pillow made from his hoodie as the scene faded to black.
Part Five – Okay, Last Quote
“It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.” — Unknown
Part Six – Doppio Campione
One of the best things about being home was sitting on the giant L-shaped couch in Brody’s living room while enjoying some pre-rolled delicacies with his best friend/upstairs roommate. You just had to be careful because if you got too stoned you could possibly melt into the couch and wake up hours later feeling like your mind had been erased. That’s what was currently happening to Brody and Timmy as they sat watching some ‘World Famous Flea Market’ while passing a joint between them. WFFM is like Mystery Science Theater 3000 for bad wrestling. Look it up. You won’t be disappointed.
Currently on the TV was a character by the name of Von Hess battling a wrestler named Kahagas. Kahagas looked pretty good but Von Hess not so much. As Von Hess charged at Kahagas from corner to corner at the speed of a turtle, the commentators stated that Von Hess hit his opponent ‘like an old man easing into a warm bath’. This elicited riotous laughter from the two gentlemen on the couch.
“They got anybody like Von Hess in Level Up, Brodadil?” asked Timmy as he passed the joint to Brody.
“Oh god. Not that I’ve seen, bro. There are some weirdos, but it seems like everyone has some level of skill.” he replied as he exhaled then passed the treat back to Timmy. “I’ve only encountered a few of the wrestlers so far. Even in that Gauntlet thing we had since I lasted about as long as Larry Tact watching tape of himself if you catch my drift.”
Timmy wrinkles his nose at the thought of that and says “Gross, dude.”
A ‘psst’ sound from Brody’s phone interrupts the conversation before it could get gross-er. He pulls out his phone and takes a second unlocking it, even looking it like an old man looking through glasses on the end of his nose.
“What’s up, dude?” Timmy asks, the suspense killing him.
“Card was sent out to the wrestlers. Looks like we got the Waluigi World Order this week.” he says.
“We?” Timmy asks, eyes kind of wide. “But I’m not even on the roster. I haven’t been training at all lately. Been doing dad stuff. And what the f---Wait. You mean you and Eli, don’t you?”
“Yeah, bro. Maybe it’s time for a break.” Brody says, reaching for the joint but Timmy quickly shakes his head ‘no’ and takes a massive pull off it. “Yeah. Good point.”
“What the hell is a Waluigi World Order?” Timmy asks.
“It’s exactly what it sounds like, bro. There’s this seemingly endless supply of Waluigis that cause chaos around this place. Nobody knows what their true plans are but it’s most likely evil, right? Even says so on their page.”
“Makes sense. How many are there?”
Brody shrugs as he answers his friend’s question. “Nobody knows. So far I’ve seen WaLink, Dude Waluigi, one named WANK!, and Giant Waluigi. “It’s a good rebound match after a tough loss. I don’t mind.”
“Anything else interesting this week?”
“Well.. the #1 contender for the Courage Title is someone I pinned in the Gauntlet we had a few weeks ago or whenever that was. Kat Jones. Maybe if she beats the snowman, I can plead my case for a title shot. Shrug.”
“BRODY TWO BELTS!” Timmy exclaims before taking another hit.
Another ‘psst’ emits from Brody’s phone. Whatever the notification is, it causes Brody to jump to his feet with a disappointed look on his face.
“Uh.. you good?”
“Arthur is putting his show on hiatus. Fuck beans. I guess you can’t have Frozen Fun Facts when Alaska is thawing out finally. He was just picking up steam too!”
“Ha! Talking about frozen stuff and warm weather and then you said ‘steam’. That’s hilarious.”
Timmy takes another drag then stares at the joint in his hand.
“Okay. Maybe it is time to take a break.”
‘The wicked flee when none pursueth.’ – Proverbs 28:1
Part Two – Power Bump
It hurt to breathe. Exhaling and inhaling took effort as he sat on the trainer’s table after his match. Brody had lost during The Last of Us Gauntlet to his current tag team partner, but this loss was different. This wasn’t some gauntlet match where he entered at random and was caught off guard then defeated. This match was supposed to be a slingshot forward regarding the wave of momentum that himself and Eli started when they won the Multiplayer Championships in their first-time teaming together. And he had been decisively pinned in the center of the ring. It had taken two finishers by two of the current champions in Level Up Wrestling as well as a shot to the nether regions. Regardless of that, he had suffered defeat in a match where there was immense pressure to win.
Brody gets up from the trainer’s table holding his freshly taped ribs.
“Thanks, doc,” he says as he gingerly makes his way towards the door. As he puts his hand on the door, he is stopped by someone shouting his name. He turns to see Eli Goode headed in the same direction, also rocking some taped ribs.
“What a pair we make, right?” Eli says as he catches up to his tag partner and gestures at the matching set of injured ribs. “How you fee—” he stops himself as he realizes the irony of his question.
“Like hammered shit, bro.” Brody replies with a smirk. “Nothing broken though. Just bruised and sprained according to the medical professionals.”
Eli nods. “Same here.” The two continue through the door of the trainer’s room and walk down the corridor towards the locker rooms.
“I know it was non-title but it’s still bugging me that we lost to those two. Maybe I was overconfident? Maybe-“
Eli cuts him off. “Maybe they cheated? You got hit below the belt and I was put through a table. They got the better of us this time. And MAYBE we were due for a loss. We’re a brand-new team, Brody. We’re still working out the kinks. And it was non-title, like you said. We still have the Multiplayer Gauntlets. We just need to regroup. That’s all.”
Brody nods in agreement as they reach the locker room and head inside. Brody sits down on one of the benches, holding his ribs.
“You’re 100 percent right, dude. We’re just on our back foot. And what really matters is the next step. Like Alfred says in Batman Begins. Why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves up.”
“I prefer the Rocky version myself,” Eli says, taking a seat across from his tag partner, “It is not about how hard you get hit, it is about how much you can take and still keep moving forward.”
The two men bump knuckles.
“I heard you talking on the phone,” Eli says as he begins to take off his kickpads, “and sounds like you’re going back to Alaska before EXP 24?”
“Yeah. I feel like staying away for the last few weeks hasn’t helped my brain by any means. Air travel sucks but home is home.”
“I totally understand that. It’s easier for me not living in the frozen north.”
“Bro. You know it’s not frozen year-round, right? You should come visit. Especially since it’s almost summer. The scenery up there can’t be beat.”
“I also heard you say that the high for the day was 49 degrees. While the current high back in Tennessee is about 25 degrees warmer.”
Brody smirks. “So I’ll take that as raincheck?”
Eli nods as the scene fades to black.
Part Three - Another Quick Quote
“Noise will always sound the death of silence.” – Anthony T. Hincks
Part Four– Homeward Bound
By now it’s kind of common knowledge that Brody can be a talkative fellow. Just ask Eli. BUT... Brody is not a fan of flying. And he was currently flying more than ever. It seemed like the more he flew the more anxious it made him. And on most flights, he will hopefully get a window seat and fall asleep, so it goes by faster. This time he’s been seated next to your stereotypical bubbly blonde on his flight home, and she seemed fully prepared to tell him her life story. She was in the midst of a one-sided conversation when we joined our bearded hero.
“..and daddy said he’s going to cut me off if I don’t improve my grades next semester. And that’s just not fair. I’m really trying, and he just doesn’t get it. It’s important to have fun and get life experience while in college.”
Brody was pretty sure ‘life experience’ meant a new guy each night. But he wasn’t one to slut shame. He was just grumpy. And he kept this thought to himself. Get it, girl…?
“I’m trying to get my associates in feminine literature studies. Daddy tried to talk me out of it, but he just doesn’t understand. Because he’s a boomer and they don’t understand modern struggles, ya know? I’m going to change the world and I know it. Daddy said if I flunk out then he’s going to make me join the Army. Oh hey, I noticed at the gate that when they let active duty and veterans board that you went with them. Are you a veteran?”
Brody nodded slightly, regretting to not pack wireless headphones since most new phones don’t come with a headphone jack.
“Did you ever kill anybody? Do you have any cool stories from your time in? It was probably FOREVER ago since you have gray hairs in your beard so that MUST mean you’re old.”
She pauses just long enough to chuckle at herself but before she can continue, Brody speaks up. Fortunately, he had a secret weapon tucked away for moments like this.
“I have a story if you want to hear it.” he says as he straightens up in his seat a bit. Her eyes light up and she rests her chin in her hands as she listens to him talk. “Alright. Back in 2010 my unit traveled to Louisiana to do some training before we deployed to Iraq for the 2nd time. Fort Polk is a terrible place to be stationed. Thankfully we were there only 30 days. Things went well. Saved some kittens from heatstroke. Killed the imaginary bad guys. Pretty much saved the world. On our flight back is when things got really interesting. We were in the middle of the flight and the flight attendants were serving some food and drinks when all of sudden the cabin went black, and the plane started to fall out of the sky. The food carts went flying, flight attendants ran for their seats, iPods were launched into the air, and it was just chaos. There were differing reports on how long the plane was falling or how far it fell. But eventually the lights came back on, and the rest of the flight continued like normal. It was neat.”
As he finished talking, he looked over at the girl who now was sporting huge eyes and a dropped jaw. She was finally quiet and possibly a bit terrified considering she just heard a story of a plane almost crashing while flying in a plane. After no sound came out for about 10 seconds, Brody turned back towards the window and laid his head down on his makeshift pillow made from his hoodie as the scene faded to black.
Part Five – Okay, Last Quote
“It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.” — Unknown
Part Six – Doppio Campione
One of the best things about being home was sitting on the giant L-shaped couch in Brody’s living room while enjoying some pre-rolled delicacies with his best friend/upstairs roommate. You just had to be careful because if you got too stoned you could possibly melt into the couch and wake up hours later feeling like your mind had been erased. That’s what was currently happening to Brody and Timmy as they sat watching some ‘World Famous Flea Market’ while passing a joint between them. WFFM is like Mystery Science Theater 3000 for bad wrestling. Look it up. You won’t be disappointed.
Currently on the TV was a character by the name of Von Hess battling a wrestler named Kahagas. Kahagas looked pretty good but Von Hess not so much. As Von Hess charged at Kahagas from corner to corner at the speed of a turtle, the commentators stated that Von Hess hit his opponent ‘like an old man easing into a warm bath’. This elicited riotous laughter from the two gentlemen on the couch.
“They got anybody like Von Hess in Level Up, Brodadil?” asked Timmy as he passed the joint to Brody.
“Oh god. Not that I’ve seen, bro. There are some weirdos, but it seems like everyone has some level of skill.” he replied as he exhaled then passed the treat back to Timmy. “I’ve only encountered a few of the wrestlers so far. Even in that Gauntlet thing we had since I lasted about as long as Larry Tact watching tape of himself if you catch my drift.”
Timmy wrinkles his nose at the thought of that and says “Gross, dude.”
A ‘psst’ sound from Brody’s phone interrupts the conversation before it could get gross-er. He pulls out his phone and takes a second unlocking it, even looking it like an old man looking through glasses on the end of his nose.
“What’s up, dude?” Timmy asks, the suspense killing him.
“Card was sent out to the wrestlers. Looks like we got the Waluigi World Order this week.” he says.
“We?” Timmy asks, eyes kind of wide. “But I’m not even on the roster. I haven’t been training at all lately. Been doing dad stuff. And what the f---Wait. You mean you and Eli, don’t you?”
“Yeah, bro. Maybe it’s time for a break.” Brody says, reaching for the joint but Timmy quickly shakes his head ‘no’ and takes a massive pull off it. “Yeah. Good point.”
“What the hell is a Waluigi World Order?” Timmy asks.
“It’s exactly what it sounds like, bro. There’s this seemingly endless supply of Waluigis that cause chaos around this place. Nobody knows what their true plans are but it’s most likely evil, right? Even says so on their page.”
“Makes sense. How many are there?”
Brody shrugs as he answers his friend’s question. “Nobody knows. So far I’ve seen WaLink, Dude Waluigi, one named WANK!, and Giant Waluigi. “It’s a good rebound match after a tough loss. I don’t mind.”
“Anything else interesting this week?”
“Well.. the #1 contender for the Courage Title is someone I pinned in the Gauntlet we had a few weeks ago or whenever that was. Kat Jones. Maybe if she beats the snowman, I can plead my case for a title shot. Shrug.”
“BRODY TWO BELTS!” Timmy exclaims before taking another hit.
Another ‘psst’ emits from Brody’s phone. Whatever the notification is, it causes Brody to jump to his feet with a disappointed look on his face.
“Uh.. you good?”
“Arthur is putting his show on hiatus. Fuck beans. I guess you can’t have Frozen Fun Facts when Alaska is thawing out finally. He was just picking up steam too!”
“Ha! Talking about frozen stuff and warm weather and then you said ‘steam’. That’s hilarious.”
Timmy takes another drag then stares at the joint in his hand.
“Okay. Maybe it is time to take a break.”
