Post by Applesauce on May 6, 2022 0:19:41 GMT -5
PREVIOUSLY ON… THE BUSTER GLOVES SHOW
Entering the Last of Us gauntlet match at #16, BUSTER GLOVES!
The Commander, Buster Gloves and Emily Simms jump into action, they were really working well together.
Then EMILY SIMMS was eliminated from the match and Shepard and Gloves began blaming each other.
They began striking each other outside of the ring, but the match soon became very crowded and they started focusing on other opponents.
One of them was Level Up Wisdom Champion, Ahmya. Buster eliminated her with a top rope super finisher. It put his name into consideration for a contendership match.
The brawl between Duncan and Buster continued, all the way ON TOP of the announcer table. Buster locked Duncan in to the devastating SOUL CRUSHER. There was no way out. Or so Buster thought.
Emily Simms returned to the match and kicked Buster in the balls to get him to release the hold. And then Duncan put him through the time keepers table. Buster was eliminated after that and Duncan won the entire match.
Since then, Buster has been spiraling. He’s been looking for friends. He’s been getting desperate. An unlikely ally appeared in the form of a young wrestling student named Riley Heart. Things were looking up.
Buster earned his championship match versus Ahmya, fulfilling a dream of his to work with her in the ring. The two of them put on a show versus Emily Simms and Chelsea Skye. Buster dedicated the match to his dear friend Bert McAlroy and they were victorious.
Coming in to Doom, Buster is torn between three women. Emily Simms, the ally who turned on him. Riley Heart, the fiery understudy. And Ahmya, the keeper of the Wisdom Championship, and the wife of one of his best friends. What will he do? Who will emerge victorious? Find out this week on… The Buster Gloves Show!
VERO BEACH, FL
4/26
OFF-CAM
RILEY & BUSTER SITTING IN A TREE
“I need the trainer.” Grunts Buster Gloves just as soon as he swims through the curtains at gorilla position. He had just picked up a victory with a little help from Riley Heart. For the last month, she had been spending a lot of time with him, both in the ring and outside.
“Are you ok?” says Riley as she follows him in close pursuit.
“It’s my shoulder. I tweaked it when I tried that Spanish Fly. Next time I have a stupid idea like that, please tell me not to do it.”
“I thought it was kind of cute, seeing you flop around like a walrus. You know, you probably injured Chelsea with it, because she wasn’t right after that.”
<Just then a trainer ran up to Buster and started leading him back to the trainer’s room. Riley follows.>
“I didn’t need your help out there. We were going to win on our own.”
“I didn’t do that for you Bubba. I wanted to ruin somebody’s day. Chelsea is such an annoying bitch, she deserved to be jumped.”
“She’s not so bad. I’ve said some mean things about her in the past, but Chelsea has a good heart. She deserved a clean finish.”
“No Buster. YOU deserve a clean finish. If you know what I mean. YOU deserve a lot more than you’ve been getting lately. And I’m gonna see to it that you get everything you want. It’s you and me against the entire roster.”
<Buster sits on the trainer’s table. The doctor starts giving Buster directions. Asking him to perform a range of motion in his arm. Riley gets impatient, folding her arms, and tapping her feet. Waiting for her turn to speak.>
“You may not NEED me out there, but you do WANT me out there. I can feel it in my plums, Bubba. You’ve been putting your heart out there and nobody cares. You should just let me take care of you for a while.”
<Riley snatches the ice bag from the trainer and applies it to Buster’s shoulder as the shoulder begins to be wrapped.>
“Why do you care so much, Riley? Why is this so important to you?”
“Because you’re a rising star. And I’m riding you all the way to the top. Behind every good man is a good woman. I can be that for you, I can get behind you. And you can get behind me, as much as you want.”
<The trainer is disgusted over Riley’s desperate advances.>
“Can I be honest with you?” requests Buster.
“If you aren’t, I’ll stab you while you sleep.”
“I like being around you. I appreciate the support. You’re great. But you’re not the type of woman I normally go after.”
Riley throws a handful of bandages in Buster’s face. “What the f*ck does that mean?!”
<Riley flinches and retracts her hands as if she just touched something disgusting.>
“What I mean is, that you’re gorgeous. Much prettier than the kind of girls I usually date. And you’re very open about your sexuality. It’s not something I’m used to. I don’t know what to make of it. We both know it’s a bad idea to take this thing any farther. But it’s difficult to say no.”
“Then don’t. Let me take you home. I’ll drive you back to your hotel room. Get you in bed and make sure you get some rest. Doc, give him a f*cking sedative or something. Can’t you see this man is in pain?”
The doctor pauses and patronizes Riley. She holds Buster’s wrist. “On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your pain sir?”
“I dunno… 7?”
“We can send you home with a couple Vicodin to help with the pain…”
“No!” Flinches Buster. “I don’t want that. I don’t want narcotics. Just wrap me up tight and give me some Ibuprofen or something?”
The trainer gives a warm smile. “Sure, we can do that. But you need to stay off of it. Ok? No heavy lifting or strenuous activity for a couple days. You’ll need to stretch it out daily, and I want you to Facetime me in a week to follow up.”
“This isn’t going to affect his title match at Doom is it? Cause I’ll choke a school bus full of blind kids to get him that match.”
“No. No need for that. He should be medically cleared to wrestle by then. Just needs to take it easy for a couple days.”
Buster tries to deescalate. “Riley, it’s fine. I’ll take the weekend off and try it out on Monday when I go back at the gym.”
<The doctor finishes wrapping Buster up and sends him on his way. Riley tries to convince Buster to leave with her right away, but he insists on watching the rest of the EXP matches before getting into an Uber with Riley>
Buster winces in pain as he reaches for his phone on his nightstand.
He wanted to go to sleep, but his shoulder is killing him. And the sound of the bathroom fan running doesn’t make it any easier to sleep in the small room. He had tried to go right to sleep as soon as they got back to the hotel, but Riley insisted on staying to make sure he was ok. One thing led to another, and before long they were making out. Then things got really uncensored. And now, more than just his bum shoulder is hurting. His back is covered in deep scratches and his collarbone has teeth marks etched in it. Buster’s pretty sure he just made a series of mistakes that he will regret for a long time, but he doesn’t right now. He just wants sleep. The seductress in the shower won’t allow it. She’s singing Disney princess songs, loudly, in celebration of her sexual conquest.
Buster is almost asleep when the phone vibrates on his nightstand. Face-up, it illuminates the room, and burns his eyes. He had received a bunch of tweets and texts after his match, but it’s now three in the morning. Who in their right mind would text him at this hour? Maybe it’s an emergency. Maybe it’s his kids. So, he checks his phone.
It only says one word. And it’s sucks the wind from his chest.
What does a message like that even mean? What’s her angle? Why would she send it so late? Even if she had already flown back to San Diego right after the match, she’d still be jetlagged as hell. Buster and Emily haven’t spoken in weeks. He had forgiven her for the crotch kick at The Last of Us, but she doesn’t know that. How could she? Plus, had he just stolen a dirty win from her at EXP. Why would she be nice to him now? She should be mad at him. She should hate him. But maybe… just maybe… she’s still in Greensboro… in her room… in the same hotel… on the same floor… and she misses Buster… she’s worried about him… and she wants to be the one taking care of him. It’s really screwing with his head. Why can’t she just be like everyone else and forget about him and leave him alone like any normal person would!? Why does Buster even care?!
<The shower shuts off and the shower door clangs shut. Buster catches the phone, almost fumbling it to the floor, then presses and holds the power button. He doesn’t want Riley to know about the text. It will just light a fuse. So, he rolls on his side and pretends to be asleep, but Riley springs from the bathroom, intentionally making enough noise to wake him back up. Buster opens one eye to see the dimly lit image of Riley Heart, wearing only a towel wrapped around her head and a Buster Gloves t-shirt.>
“Best 2 out of 3 falls?” she asks, before splashing on to the bed.
VERO BEACH, FL
5/2
OFF-CAM
DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?
“I hate her.” Says the massive bearded man sitting against the gym wall.
“She’s not so bad. She’s just misunderstood.” Says the slightly smaller bald man sitting next to him.
“Pitbulls are misunderstood. That girl is the devil.” Says Holden Ross, the Head Striking Coach at the Champions Advantage Performance Center. He was rough around the edges. A purveyor of ultra-violence who had only ever been tamed by two things in this world; his woman and his weed. He had a reputation for being a mean guy, but he was a loyal partner and friend.
“She might be the devil. But I like being around her. She makes me feel young again.” Says Buster Gloves, the Head Submissions Coach at the CAPC. Buster was a literal nice guy. A harbinger of truth and justice. A paragon of positivity who stuck his neck out for anyone who needed a hand. But sticking your neck out doesn’t help anyone. It just gets your head cut off. As nice as he was, he was never good at maintaining relationships.
“So let me make sure I have this straight. You slept with Riley?”
“Shhh. Keep it down. I don’t want everyone to know.”
“Nobody cares, dude. You slept with Riley Heart; THE same Riley that comes to my class and responds to every tweet and always finds a way to get people in trouble? THE same Riley who’s been put on probation for bullying? She’s six kinds of crazy. It’s hilarious. I just want to know, if you, like actually, finished the deed, or if this is just one of those situations where you did some over the pants stuff while watching Toy Story 3.”
“We slept together. I’d rather not get into details. I didn’t mean for it to go down that way.”
“What did you expect to happen bro? She asked to go back to your place. That’s code words for 'it's clobberin' time.’”
“It wasn’t like that. She thought I was injured and wanted to make sure I was ok.”
“Yeh, right. How many times were you..." <finger quotes>"'ok'?”
“You don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
“Hey, I’m not gonna hate on your game, player. So, when are you asking her to prom?”
“You’re an *sshole.”
“Ain’t I grand? When your first date?”
“We’ve actually been on a date already.”
“When the f*ck did that happen?!”
“I lost a bet. And took her to trivia night at Merv’s Burger Joint.”
“Is that what that was? You bet her you could win a wrestling match without hitting her and you lost? Dude, she baited you into that and you bought it.”
“But we didn’t hook up on that date. We didn’t even kiss. She was black out drunk and puked her guts out.”
“Wait. You waited until the second date to bang her? You’re boned. You have a stage five clinger on your hands now. You won’t be able to shake her, no matter what you do.”
“You think?”
“You won’t be able to look another woman in the eyes in this building for the next two months. Then she graduates. Or you quit. Or both.”
“What would you have done?”
“I won’t say, but you, you should have banged her on the first date and never returned her calls after. She’s already banged like three cats here in the gym. She gets around.”
“What do I do now?”
“Be yourself.”
“I am being myself.”
“No, you’re not. The Buster I know, the boring one, is a good dude who helps his kids do their homework. The one that stays home on Friday nights, eats steamed chicken and brown rice 4 days a week, and is in bed before 11. Convince her that you aren’t exciting and she’ll move on to the next one.”
“Am I really that boring?”
“I’m gonna tell you this as a friend, you are TOO good. It’s fucking annoying. Here’s your problem. You are an eager f*cking beaver. You volunteer to do the sh*tty jobs that no one wants to do. And you think you need to white knight a relationship with a broken bird. It’s embarrassing, and kind of pathetic. We love you for it, but nobody can measure up to that sh*t. And she won’t respect you for it. She’ll just use you up. The rest of us just want to break stuff and make money. Nobody is ready to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders like you are. That’s why you can’t find a tag team partner. That’s why no one wants to join your stable. You set the bar so goddamn high that nobody even attempts to reach it.”
“So why did you agree to be my tag team partner when we were invited to that TPW exhibition match?”
“My girlfriend thought it would be a good idea. She says I need to spend more time around people who won't cut me. Where I come from, trust isn’t an easy thing to come by. At the very least, I can trust you. You’re an ugly bastard just like me. You understand sh*t about me that I don’t need to explain. Being around you is good for me. You balance me out.”
“Hey. I might be a bastard too, but I’m not ugly. Even my scars are handsome.”
“Ain’t that the truth. You have strays following you around like you have cat treats in your pocket. You’re gonna regret getting involved with Riley. But she is a Grade A, top shelf, dime piece. And if she wants to be with you, you know it’s not because she wants a free dinner or a free ride or to score some dank Bull of the North reefer. She wants your blood.”
“My brain is telling me to run. My gut is telling me to protect my wallet and my vital organs. But there’s something about this girl that makes me feel bulletproof.”
“Let me tell you a story. I had this cousin once, who also happened to live here in Florida. He had this pet alligator. He named it Cooter. Got it when it was a pup. He used to keep that thing in an old bath tub and feed it mice and sh*t. I thought my cousin was cool as f*ck. He was always blowing up sh*t and riding dirt bikes with his middle fingers in the air. Anyway, Cooter got huge. Escaped the bath tub. Bit my cousin a few times. Ate their dog. Scared the sh*t out of the neighbors. Morale of the story is that my cousin, god rest his soul, loved that gator until the day he had to put a bullet in its head. He also has seven toes now. You get what I’m saying?”
“I’m not sure I follow all of that, but I get the gist of it.”
“Let me give you some real sh*t. No cap. You self-sabotage. When things are going right, you find a way to f*ck ‘em up. You’re trying to blow up your spot before you fail. Because it would hurt so much to actually try something and not be good at it. You work for a great wrestling federation. You have this job, which you say you love, but won’t stop trying to get fired from both of them. Just stop yourself and enjoy the moment. Let the experience wash over you. Focus on your next match. Stop dipping your pen in the company ink. So trying to f*ck your way into a shoot. As long as you keep winning, you’re gonna get a lot of attention.”
“You think so? Kind of feels like nobody cares.”
“Trust. Very soon, people are going to start taking notice. Trashy women will throw themselves at you. Hungry wrestlers will join your stable. Fans will buy your merch. Just close your eyes and smile. Feel that Florida sunshine on your face and get rid of this girl. She’s worse than the pills and the booze combined. Dating her will be like trying to ride a great white shark. She’s a succubus sent from hell to suck your soul out of your d*ck hole. This girl…”
“You know what? I think I get it. You don’t like her.”
“Hey, I’m not pretty enough to lie to you, bruh.”
“I know. I know. I appreciate the honesty. There’s something else that’s been bothering me too. It involves you. I want to get your opinion.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Well you know how we were booked for that tag team match at that TPW event. I’m sorry that fell through. I feel like a real jerk recruiting you for that just to have it fall apart.”
“It ain’t even a thing. I’m glad you reached out.”
“Another opportunity has presented itself.’
“Oh, word?”
“You know how you were recruited to join Chronic Chris Page Enterprises after we made that appearance? Congrats on that by the way. I’m really happy for you.”
“Appreciate that.”
“Well Chris reached out to me too. He says he wants more tag teams. He wants you and I to be a tag team represented by his organization.”
“Well f*ck a duck. That’s awesome. What did you tell him?”
“I told him I’d have to get back to him.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t think I can do it.”
“Why the f*ck not?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way. But I just don’t think I’d fit in there.”
“Da f*ck you talking about? Is it because you aren’t 420 friendly? I don’t think that matters.”
“They’re a big deal. Every one of their guys has a trophy case full of championships. You included. I haven’t accomplished anything yet. I don’t belong there. Small fish. Big pond.”
“Oh, shut up. You can do work. I’ve seen you.”
“Holden. They don’t want me. They are only talking to me because they want you. And they know I’d take a bullet for you in the ring to see you become successful.”
“So, what are you gonna do? Turn Chris Page down? Nobody does that.”
“I’m not saying ‘no’. I’m saying ‘not until I’ve earned it on my own’.
“So that’s it huh? Buster Gloves, the one man stable, keeps going at it alone until you prove to yourself that you’re worthy of love and acceptance?”
“That’s… that actually sums up everything pretty good.”
“I love you bro. But you might be more f*cked in the head than I am. That's what I appreciate about you. Stay golden Pony Boy.”
ON-CAM
INTERVIEW
“The Bacon Wrap” Youtube channel.
Buster Gloves sits behind a microphone in front of a mostly empty table. He’s dressed in a black “The Advantage” t-shirt. A half-full water bottle rests on the table in front of him. The LU logo is represented dozens of times on the table apron. Across the table is a skinny red-haired middle-aged man with a strong beard and thick black-rimmed glasses. He is small-time wrestling podcaster and youtuber, Christopher Bacon
Chris: Welcome to the Bacon Wrap, I’m your host Christopher Bacon and I’m here today with my guest, Level Up Wrestler, “The Bull of the North”, Buster Gloves. Buster, thank you for coming back to the show.
Buster Gloves: My pleasure Chris. Finally… The Bull… has come back… to the Bacon Wrap.
Chris: Oooh I smell that.
Buster: Sorry. I had to do that one time. Just to see how it felt.
Chris: How did it feel?
Buster: It went a lot better in my head. <laughs>
Chris: Buster, you look great. Have you been working out?
Buster: Thanks for noticing. You could say I’ve been putting in a little work at the gym.
Chris: You look like the picture I use to catfish Venezuelan women on Plenty of Pescados.
Buster: <laughing> Yeh, thanks. I just figure, you know, this is my chance to do something big.
Chris: Love the shirt design by the way. Very 80’s retro.
Buster Gloves: <laughing> You might be the only one that likes it. I printed like a thousand of these bad boys and I think I’ve sold about eight.
Chris: Those are rookie numbers Buster. We need to get those numbers up. Anybody watching the show, buy this man’s merch or I'll choke a baby penguin.
Buster: I’m not the type to beg, but if this Advantage thing doesn’t take off soon, there will be a bunch of kids in Africa who are wearing my shirts and still think the Bengals won the Super Bowl.
Chris: Yeh, so ok, let’s talk about that. What’s the Advantage all about.
Buster: So, there’s a long story here about the Advantage. I’ll give you the abbreviated version. Level Up has this stable of bad guys called the Game Changers. You’ve heard of them. They’re big and mean and they cheat. Real bad dudes. I figured that somebody has to put a stop to them before they ruin everything that’s good and holy. So, I started a stable and asked every good guy on the map to join me.
Chris: How’s that working out for you?
Buster: It’s kind of like starting a boy band when you don’t know anybody with talent. I had some candidates lined up, but they decided to work with a more popular star and they told me my stable name was stupid. <laughs>
Chris: Did they really?
Buster: No. No. I just made up that last part. There are some good, talented folks in Level Up. It’ll come together and the Game Changers will eventually get what’s coming to them.
Chris: Let’s talk about what’s next. Huge event coming up on May 10th. 8 matches on a loaded card from Level Up Wrestling. At the Chesapeake Employers Insurance Arena in Baltimore, MD. The event is called… DOOOM. How are you feeling about the card?
Buster: The last time I was here with you Chris, I was about to make my Level Up debut. I was nervous as hell and excited and really naïve about what I was getting into. But I won. 7 months later, things are way different. I have my first championship match… ever. And it’s against a true champion. Someone I admire very much. It’s a career defining moment. I feel blessed to be a part of it.
Chris: Wait. Stop the press. You’ve won championships before. Grappling, MMA. Isn’t it the same big fight feeling?
Buster: You would think it’s that way, but it’s not. It feels like there’s only two people in the world who are ever going to see the match. Me and Naoko. I’m sorry… Ahmya, as she’s known in the ring. All the outside noise has gone away. The media. The fans. Everyone. I appreciate the coverage, I really do, but all I care about is earning Ahmya’s respect. I’m not sure yet if we get a Rocky I or Rocky II ending, but it’ll be epic either way.
Chris: I can’t wait till you do Rocky IV. Just need a Russian and a friend to have beaten to death.
Buster: I’ll let the Developer worry about booking that. <laughs>
Chris: How about THAT booking? Have you been happy with the matches you’ve had lately?
Buster: You know, it’s funny to think about now. I started in this fed with names like Joey Crash, Donny Mason, Victoria Salinas. They’ve all had championship opportunities before me. I have a better record than any of them, but they’ve been given the opportunities.
Chris: Does that piss you off?
Buster: Not really, to be honest. I've been given the match-ups that I wanted. And I’ve been impressive in those matches. The only problem though is that I haven’t had that big win. I have wins over Joey Crash, Donny Mason, and Victoria Salinas, but none of them were in one-on-one matches. I’d really like to work with each of them some time. Maybe I can even convince them to take the high road and join my stable and take down the Game Changers. That would be really cool. It just feels like the Developer has been saving me up for something big. Maybe this match is it.
Chris: Oh I dig that. Sign me up. I’m rockin' a half-chub for that Doom match right now.
Buster: <laughs>
Chris: So, are things all good in Level Up now? You’re sticking around for a while?
Buster: I’m happy there. The company has treated me well. They treat me with dignity. Not many companies do that. They even extended my contract another 6 months. I have an open line to the front office if there's any problems. And the locker room is starting to respect my body of work. It’s a huge relief to just focus on performing for a while.
Chris: And what about outside of the ring? Anything new in your personal life you want to share?
Buster: Let me say hello to my kids, Dalton and Swayze. <Buster dabs> I know they will watch the show and they die inside a little whenever I dab on them. They watch Youtube videos like 12 hours a day, so I know they will see the show. They’re great kids. We moved to Florida and they’re doing really well. They’re both taking BJJ right now and I’m really proud of how far they’ve come. I teach submission wrestling at the Champions Advantage Performance Center and I run an after-school program for teens who want to learn Jiu-Jitsu. It’s pretty cool to be able to teach my own kids how to grapple.
Chris: Cool, cool. So, let’s switch gears for a moment. I want the scoop. The juicy gossip. I’ll just come out with it. Rumor has it that you are romantically involved with a couple lucky ladies on the Level Up roster. Would you care to share the deets?
Buster: Yeh, I don’t know Chris. A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.
Chris: If you don’t tell me something, I’m just going to assume it’s Mary DeSue.
Buster: Oh god no.
Chris: Fine. Have it your way Buster-bus. Let’s do some word association instead. I’ll say the name of a wrestler and you say the first word that pops into your head.
Buster: Sure. Why not? What could go wrong?
Chris: Lord Raab?
Buster: Monster.
Chris: Checks out. That was my control question. Next name… Bert McAlroy.
Buster: Hero.
Chris: Awww. You simp. Alright. Next one… Chelsea Skye.
Buster: Porn. Sorry Chels.
Chris: Larry Tact.
Buster: Cheater.
Chris: Aw come on. Larry’s not a bad guy, he’s just drawn that way. How about… Paul Freedom.
Buster: Kid.
Chris: Kid? He’s a grown man. He wears khakis. And cuts his own hair. And he has a wallet. Ok maybe he IS a kid. Next up… Guy Manson.
Buster: Creepy.
Chris: Mmmhmmm. Eli Goode.
Buster: Underrated.
Chris: Could have sworn you were going to say ‘good’. Next name… Riley Heart.
Buster: Wild.
Chris: You got that right. Emily Simms.
Buster: Smile.
Chris: Your gonna give me a toothache you soft-served son of a b*tch. Just one more name for the road. … Ahmya
Buster: Champion.
Chris: 100 percent. She IS a champion, my friend. But that’s boring. I was hoping you'd say she smells like elderberries or something. Why don’t you tell the people at home something that’ll get people excited for this fight?
Buster: I’ll just come out and say it. I’m going to win the Wisdom Championship. And once I do, I’ll take it on the road and represent Level Up Wrestling versus any worthy challenges. My first opponent will be multi-federational wrestler, and Action Wrestling champion, The Bastard, Holden Ross. If Holden wins the match, I’ve agreed to join Chronic Chris Page Enterprises. If I win the match, Holden has agreed to join The Advantage and to help me purify the wrestling world from liars, cheaters, and thieves. Step one happens at Doom. It’s the first of many.
Chris: Oh nice! So, there’s a lot more on the line that I thought. Well, I’m routing for you on May 10th. With that said, I think the bacon is getting extra crispy and it’s time to wrap things up. Buster, thank you again for coming to the show. It’s been a hoot. Good luck in the match.
Buster: Thanks Chris.
Chris: DOOM. Level Up Wrestling. May 10th on Fite TV and Twitch. Watch Buster Gloves take on Ahmya for the Wise-Ass Championship.
Buster and Chris have a laugh together off mic and the video fades to black.
ON-CAM
THE BROKEN BIRD
They tell us to come out here and sell the match. Say mean things about your opponent. Talk about how great you are and how much *ss you’re going to kick. It’s supposed to get people excited. It’s supposed to make them tune in to the show. It’s double true for championship matches. They gave you this opportunity to win a prize because see potential in you as one of their star talents. You can bring ratings. You can make money. So here you are, every two weeks, trying to figure out what you can possible say that hasn’t been said a thousand times before?
Maybe you don’t have anything bad to say at all? Maybe your opponent is actually a really good person? Better than you even. Everybody knows it too. Every person who watches your match knows that your opponent is more accomplished, more talented, and more popular than you are. So, what do you say then?
Maybe you should take the easy way out. Lie. Lie to the world. Lie to yourself. Lies are the future after all. The truth is the past. And it’s much more difficult to win an argument with and ugly truth than with a pretty lie. Maybe you should just make a bunch of idle threats and empty promises? Nobody’s going to remember what you said anyway. Right? I mean you’re pretty forgettable. Just another brick in the wall. So just go out there, dance for the crowd, and play your part for the hero. So, I ask you one last time. What…do…you…say?
I say ‘no’. Not this time.
I’ve been given the impossible task of wrestling Ahmya at the Doom pay-per-view for the Wisdom Championship. And let’s face it. She should win the match. Not only is she the most beloved wrestler in the history of the company, she’s also the most successful champion it’s ever had. She’s been some sort of champion since she picked up one half of the multiplayer championship last July. She’s successfully defended that title and the Wisdom title. She went undefeated in the Round Robin Extra Lives Tournament and became the roundest robin. Above all else, I consider her, Naoko, to be a close personal friend of mine.
There’s an innocence about her. A calming spirit that makes you feel like home. It’s no wonder that someone like Bert McAlroy fell in love with her so quickly. It’s not surprising that he voices his devotion to her so loudly. How could anyone hold any grudges against her? I still remember how kind she was to me when I was first hired. It’s a kindness that I won’t soon forget. I’m going to do Ahmya a kindness in return, by beating her at DOOM and carrying the weight of the Wisdom Championship for as long as I can.
Many others have tried to beat her. To take her down. To darken her spirit. But she’s resilient. She shines in the face of adversity. Just a day after losing the Multiplayer Championship, she put long-time Wisdom Champion, Sidroy Covington, to sleep to win the belt. She solidified her championship legacy by pinning Victoria Salinas and putting an end to a four-month winning streak. There aren’t many people that can say they’ve gotten the best of Ahmya in a match. But I can.
The truth is that Ahmya should have never been in the Last of Us gauntlet match back in March. But she WAS there. She was double-booked, for the second straight pay-per-view, and had just survived a match against a tough challenger. She had nothing to prove by being in the Last of Us match, but she wanted to represent Level Up anyway. That’s what kind of champion she is. She was willing to sacrifice herself, to defend Level Up from outsiders, and what was her reward? A friend cost her the match. I... cost her that match. I caught her off guard while she was fighting with someone else, and I hit her with the most powerful move I know. An Obliterator from the top rope. I pinned her. Nobody could have kicked out of that. It wasn’t here fault. And she didn’t deserve to be betrayed by a friend like that. And after the match was over, all I could do was feel sorry for myself, because another girl kicked me in the balls and caused me to lose. I shouldn’t have attacked Ahmya. I own that mistake. And the karma I received for it was instant. I regret that decision every day. But beautiful sunsets need cloudy skies.
It turns out, that the head booker of this company decided to award me for my betrayal. They gave me a number one contender match against a wrestler with a fraction of my experience. Not only that, but my opponent was also someone who I knew well. I knew her weaknesses and it was an easy victory. Booking knew I would win that match. And they wanted to see Ahmya versus Buster Gloves one more time. To be honest, I don’t feel right about it. I don’t want her belt. I wish she could keep it forever. And I told her as much in a private conversation. But, she is a champion. She wants this match. And the best way I can honor her is to shake her hand and put on a display of wrestling excellence that the Level Up fans in Baltimore will remember.
Ahmya is a better wrestler than me. She’s a better champion. But I’m gonna win this match. I’m ready to carry the torch for a while. And she’s ready to hand it over. The days have been wearing on her. We see how lonely she’s been since Bert left. We’ve seen the injuries from the repeated head shots she’s taken over recent months. The pressure of performing for a crowd is wearing her down. Wrestling was something she once loved with her entire heart. But her heart is only half full now. She pours her soul in to this federation every time she steps in the ring. But you just can’t pour from an empty cup.
Since Final Fantasy, something has been missing in Ahmya’s life. She doesn’t know who she is anymore. She doesn’t know what she stands for. If you’ve been following her social media, you can see the self-doubt in her words. While all this is happening, she’s been overshadowed in her own house by her husband, who just so happened to be the Final Boss Champion. It took the joy out of her own accomplishments. Beating Victoria Salinas at The Last of Us should have solidified her legacy, instead, it just left her feeling depleted. Like it all meant nothing. The match and the negativity surrounding it caused her even more angst. How could she be happy with it anyway, when her husband had suffered a career ending injury earlier in the night?
It’s not unreasonable to think that Ahmya doesn’t even want to be the champion right now. Would you if you were in her shoes? This Wisdom Championship has been a cursed item. Looking at it must give her such a feeling of anxiety and loss. The cost of holding it must be enormous. But knowing Ahmya like I do, she’s still not willing to hand it over without a fight. She could have done the job for Victoria Salinas, but she gave us maximum effort and proves that she too was UNDENIABLY a champion. Maybe the only champion worthy of being admired in this entire company. She’s done the company proud, but you have to believe that she’s ready to move on. And I’m ready to help her to that.
I believe that she’s been waiting for a worthy challenger to take her place on the front line, representing the company with the core values of Power, Courage, Wisdom. I AM that person! I have my flaws, but I have a warrior’s spirit. I've proven to be worthy of championship status, and I’m ready to be one of the faces of the federation. Not because I want to claim the glory. But because I’m ready, willing, and able to fight the tough battles alone so that the army at my back does not have to.
Anyone who has been paying attention has seen what I can do. I’ve never lost a singles match. I’ve never been tapped out. I’ve never lost the big match. And I only wrestle for this company. I bleed Level Up green. I revere these championships and the owners that possess them. And I would open my veins to prove that I belong here. If there is a better person out there that is worthy of being the new champion, I would love to meet them. I would gladly shake their hand. And I would carry them on my shoulders. But there isn’t. I’m the guy. I’m the next. And I’m worthy.
When I win this match, it’ll be the first time in my career that I’ve held ANY wrestling championship. It’ll mean more to me than to any other person in that locker room. I’ll cherish it. I’ll remember that day next to the greatest moments of my life. The birth of my children. The first day back from overseas combat. The day I married my wife. Winning this championship means another chance for me to do something meaningful with my life. And the time to do it is now.
When you look at Ahmya, it’s like gazing at a distant star. She’s dazzling, but the light radiating from her is from ages ago. Maybe the light within her doesn’t even exist anymore. Maybe that light burns forever and is more real than anything in this world. She will have her chance to burn brightly for as long as she wants to, but I am doing her a kindness by relieving her of this burden. She will be an immortal champion in my heart.
Ahmya and I are one and the same. We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of the dreams. At Doom, her story doesn’t end, we just turn the page and begin a new chapter of her life. I consider it an honor and a great responsibility to be the one to help her on her way. I’ve done my homework. I have great respect for the road that has been paved before me. And I’m confident that the hard work and preparation I’ve put in will mean something to a lot of people.
There are deeper issues at work underneath the surface. Our Roundest Robin has wings so broken that she cannot soar on her own anymore. It’s time for a new champion to step in and carry the load, so that she may heal and fly again among the stars that burn as brightly as she does.
Ahmya. Naoko. Mrs. McAlroy. It’s ok. Let it go. You don’t have to protect the belt anymore. We appreciate what you’ve given us. We respect your body of work. We will remember you. At DOOM on May 10th in Baltimore, Maryland... you pass the torch... you become... Immortal Ahmya... the Roundest Robin... the best of us... and the champion we will never forget.
