Post by paulmontuori on May 22, 2022 18:54:36 GMT -5
Michelle and Paul.
Sitting in a tree.
K I S S I N G
How beautiful the two of us are. Separately. But most importantly, together.
My ‘96 Bonnie & Clyde.
Running hand in hand with her, in a field of sunflowers. Wind blowing through my luscious locks, and her adequately conditioned hair too. To say we’re in love, I don’t have a smart retort.. Let’s just say, I’ve never been happier.
“The fun is over!”
The sunflowers are gone. The shining sun, replaced by a dark overcast. Lightning hits as suddenly they appear. The WaLuigi World Order. Looking as menacing as one can with a purple hat and pedo mustaches. Hide your purses, lock away your kids. The WWO is here.
“Excuse me, we’re just minding our own bu..” An epic slap brings me to a knee. When I pop back, they’ve got Michelle. The one with the purple hat grabs her and tosses her into a pipe. He hops in after her.
“Come and get her,” the Inigo Montoya looking dood says with a sneer across his face. Without breaking eye contact he jumps into the pipe, disappearing into it. I run over to it, staring down into the black abyss.
“Fuck,” I say before gaining enough courage to jump in.
I’m falling for what feels like forever. Until I’m not. Smash. Dick first in a heap. I slowly get to my knees, getting my bearings. I look up to see pipes not only sticking up from the ground, but hanging from the sky, as far as the eye can see. I squint as I see the WaLuigi’s carrying Michelle who’s kicking and screaming, trying to get away. I take off running after them, these kats have no idea the beating they’re in for when I catch up to them.
I suddenly come to a stop. I’m no longer alone. Standing a few yards away are what look like a bunch of turtles, some wearing football helmets, cleats and pads, some just wearing green shoes. Am I on another acid tryp? I swore I wouldn’t fuck with it anyone..
“Hey guys. Uh.. Have you seen a hot, fiery blonde come this way? She was being dragged away by two creeps, one with a purple hat,” I say as they slowly start walking towards me. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you guys aren’t the friendly, Ninja Turtles type.”
I don’t think they liked that as their slow stroll starts to turn into a run, well a run for a turtle. The nerves start to get me as the realization that I’m gonna have to fuck up a bunch of turtles comes over me. That’s when I look over and see a flower, but not any ordinary flower. It’s got eyes. I walk over and grab it, feeling a sudden rush come over me..
A ball of fire appears in my hand. I freak for a second, expecting an excruciating pain to overcome me. But it never comes. Instead of intense fire, the fireball gives off a cooling and calming feeling. I look over at the turtle wearing the football helmet and throw the fireball at it, knocking it over. Another fireball appears in my hand. And there goes another turtle. And another as I’m running forward, tossing fireballs.
I see another pipe sticking up out of the ground. Another way out. I run and jump on it, but I don’t fall down into it. The fuck? Over the horizon I can see the WWO pulling Michelle up a series of ladders. I have a lot of ground to cover.
I jump off the pipe and shoot a couple of more fireballs, before suddenly there’s no more. Like I ran out. Fuck.. I run forward and see a feather. I grab it as I see a bunch of turtles running my way. I suddenly have a cape. Something comes over me again as I feel myself start to run at the turtles. Just when they’re about to tackle me, I jump up and suddenly I’m flying through the air.
“Take that suckers!” I shout as I barely miss a Venus fly trap that shoots out of a pipe, straight up at me.. I’m flying, gliding through the air. The cape suddenly starts to disappear, reappear, disappear, over and over instantaneously as I start to fall lower to the ground, until the cape has disappeared and I find myself rolling in the dirt.
I slowly stand up, dusting myself off. Bruh, I’m tired of taking all these bumps, especially for free. I look up to see what looks like scaffolding as high as my eyes can see. At the very top, a huge brown fucking ape wearing a tie. I really need to lay off the drugs..
“Aye, have you seen a little hot blonde come through here? With two weirdos?” I shout up. The ape looks at me for a second, then suddenly I see an object coming at me. I move just in time to see a barrel smash against the ground. “You fuck, that almost hit me!”
That’s when the barrels start coming all rapid fire and shit. One after the other. I leap over the barrels like I’m going to leap over the WWO and the rest of the competition in Level Up. I bid my time, waiting until the right moment to climb the ladder up to the next level. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
After what felt like an eternity, I finally reach the top. And there that huge fucking ape with a tie stands, staring me down. Huffing and puffing, sticking his chest out. He must now know who he’s fucking with bruh cause nobody can peacock like me.
“Alright, enough of the games. Where’s Michelle?”
“Michelle is right where she belongs,” I hear one of the creeps say.
“Paul, I’m up here!” I hear Michelle say. I look up and she’s high up in a cage.
“Oh hey Michelle!”
“Dammit! I knew we should’ve gagged her. I should’ve never listened to you,” the other creep says.
“No matter, he won’t be able to beat the clock,” the first creep says. I then see them appear on a platform with a huge clock, counting down from 100.
“Paul.. Paul.. Paul!”
My eyes slowly open, coming into focus is Michelle who’s standing over me.
“Fuck, why'd you wake me up? I was about to save you,” I say.
“Save me?” She asks. “On second thought, forget I asked. We don’t have time to go down that rabbit hole. Let’s go, we’re up.”
“Up?” I ask, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Yeah, our fucking match.”
“We defending the Island straps?”
“Island, what? Paul, FIGHT! is over. We’re at Level Up.”
“Level what?”
“Geezus Paul, they’re calling for us.. Level Up Wrestling. We’re about to have our debut match for them.”
“Wait, FIGHT! ended?”
“Dear gawd..”
👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑
Hey..
Hola..
I would like to be the first to apologize to everyone in Level Up, for the little safe life you all have been living is no longer going to exist. For you see, your Savior has finally arrived. You’re fucking KING..
Paul mofucking Montuori!
I’m the Paul Montuori I just mentioned by the way. I didn’t think I’d have to explain that, but I’ve seen some pictures of the roster. Let’s just say, some of you look dumber than Stratford thinking he could actually beat me to the top of rankings here.
Bruh, it’s not going to happen. This isn’t the same Paul you knew before you retired.
Oh yeah, new promotion, no one knows what the fuck I’m talking about. Uh.. Stephen Stratford was like a gawd at one point before “retiring”. Now he’s back. You’ll catch up eventually..
For this isn’t about Stephen Stratford. Not yet at least..
Instead the question we should be asking ourselves is..
What in the “Wario Chinese Knock-Off” is going on?
To say that Michelle and I are on fire the last few months would be the understatement of the century. In a short amount of time, we’ve risen to be this industry's dopest wrestling couple. Bar none papitos.
Running a fucking high I’ve never experienced before, and I’ve been pegged by a Black.. The good times kept fucking rolling as we continued to strut in all of our championship glory. Michelle and I were just tearing it up in FIGHT!, double champions..
And now we’re relegated to curtain jerking against the WaLuigi World Order?
The disrespect is real!
But I’m used to being disrespected. Used to being looked over. But that should come to an end now. And I used to be OK with it. OK with being thought of less than, equals to squared. I liked seeing the look on people’s face when I ultimately stood over them. But Top Dogs don’t think like that. They don’t let people disrespect their name, or their accomplishments. Not unless you trick everyone into thinking it’s ok. Like it was your idea all along. Inception.. I don’t know either, apparently it works tho..
The grand Paul Montuori, and his lovely QUEEN, whom beganith their rise in a promotion that no longer matters, is left to begin back at square one. I could of had my pick of the litter. Paul Montuori, huge free agent. So why not start at the bottom at Level Up? Dane Preston is here, if you’d take that idiot you’d take anyone really. Guess that doesn’t say much about me then. Fuck Blackman..
Starting at the bottom rung again. And I guess doing that in Level Up means facing the Dub Dub Oh is to prove yourself. Prove your worth. Right? Why else would they have those two creepy, pedos on retainer? Seriously though, Madison is not allowed to be left alone with those two.
I guess it’s a given that those two goofs aren’t much of a threat. Why else would we be in some weird, beat the clock match against Steph and Demi? How awkward would it be if we lost? Or they lost. Bruh, Michelle better not play games and pretend she got COVID again..
So I guess this isn’t really about if we can beat WWO, but if we can beat
Of course, knowing Strat, he probably went to management and pitched this entire idea. He’s already starting to play the mind games. He’s known to draw out this long cons where he fucks with your head, making you think one thing and BADA BOOM! Like a slap to the face he reveals his deceitful ways. But I should be safe from that, me and him are boys. We go way back to when we were babies breaking in. He would never do that to me. He’d never play me..
This is all a friendly competition, Strat said it himself. Friendly wager. We’re friends..
Beat the clock, and we’re up first. Of course. As it should be, given the circumstances. Michelle and I are riding high right now, a career renaissance. On the verge of recapturing what should’ve been mine to begin with. Sour grapes.. Strat and Demi have been out of the game for a while. Living in Europe, trying to be a normal family with their kid. Well, as normal as you’d get with those two..
Here we are, right out of the gate, having to beat the clock against one of wrestling’s original duos. Strat retired as a World Champion, he’s no slouch. And as of now, it’s the closest the world’s going to get in seeing who the better team is. Before we ultimately end up in the ring against each other. It’s inevitable. Biggest box office this company will ever do. That of course, if they ever get to see Paul Montuori vs Stephen Stratford..
But it ain’t time for all that. Not right now. I’m sure the stars will align and everyone will get what to see the matchups they’ve always dreamed about.
It’s not about the WWO right now either.
It’s about Paul Montuori and Miss Michelle. It’s about coming in and stealing the show on the first night. It’s showing everyone why we belong at the top, not curtain jerking against two clowns.
And unfortunately for everyone in Level Up, it’s about coming in and shitting on the entire roster. From top to bottom, no one’s careers here are ever going to be the same again. Not while we’re here. That’s a glass ceiling they’re never going to break through. It’s almost a matter of time until I’m your Champ Champ.
Aye Level Up..
Game Over..
